• Crusader Kings III Available Now!

    The realm rejoices as Paradox Interactive announces the launch of Crusader Kings III, the latest entry in the publisher’s grand strategy role-playing game franchise. Advisors may now jockey for positions of influence and adversaries should save their schemes for another day, because on this day Crusader Kings III can be purchased on Steam, the Paradox Store, and other major online retailers.


    Real Strategy Requires Cunning

theusje

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Thanks for the pdf-file TreizeV. I'm just done reading the whole AAR and I enjoyed it. :)
 

unmerged(87183)

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The PDF didn't work for me.
 

theusje

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Osprey22

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Love it :)
 

RioBrancoBaron

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Best AAR ever!:rofl:
Nice:D:D:D:D:D:D:D
Seconded! It's strange that he never came back after promising the epilogue. I LMAO in almoust every post. If you're out there somewhere Rustican please know that you made my life funnier for a few days! Thanks a lot!
 

L Lawliet

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I've wasted some two weeks reading this (bit by bit to avoid dieing of too much lauginh) and I've got to say this is the best thing I've ever read. Thanks for the laughs!
 

X_MasterDave_X

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yes, this is still the best AAR i ever read.

So sad, that Rustican never showed up here again.
At least...he seems to be alive:

Last Activity: 18-11-2009 04:15
 

Lurken

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yes, this is still the best AAR i ever read.

So sad, that Rustican never showed up here again.
At least...he seems to be alive:

Last Activity: 18-11-2009 04:15
WAT!?

HE does! HE LIVES!

Oh Pray tell oh Might Dice of RISK, will Rustican ever come back to grace us with the final epilog?
 
May 17, 2012
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Well, I searched for the best comedy AAR on forums. And I found it here.
Today, it's 7 years and 5 months (and 1 minute) since Rustican posted the last chapter of this epicness, where he also promised to post an epilogue. He apparently has not yet. In fact, he felt absolutely quiet after that last chapter. Forums says his profile's last activity (probably at least logging in?) happened 2 and half years ago.
I've got really strong feeling he is watching us and waiting until 2015's beginning to make an enormous prank by really fulfilling his promise of posting his epilogue "after the new year". Still 10 years after everybody expected it.

Anyway, regarding how much fun did this AAR bring to me, I have to say
Thank you Rustican. You are a legend.
 
Last edited:

X_MasterDave_X

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Well i think....he will wait, until the Movie about this AAR is out. :D

Or even better....he is still in negotiations with HBO, to make a television series out of this.

Good look Rustican.....
:D
 

Andri

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Was wondering if anyone had the AAR hanging around and could possibly upload it? Really interested in reading it again but can't seem to find a working link.
 

Wumbo

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Rustican, if you're reading this, I want you to know that 10 years have passed since this AAR started, and there are still those who are reading, and enjoying it.
 

Medibee

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Can someone upload the PDF file again? All the links are down.
 

himom

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Well then created this account only to say,I am still waiting for the epiloge,I hope it will be updated,though the chances are 0% :(
 

antonioneto232

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Since Rustican won't make a epilogue, someone else should make one. Let me do it:

Manstein: Wait... if Hitler is dead, what will happen to the Reich ?

Suddenly all the 4 looked on the window as Soliders started killing eachother confused.

German Solider 1: Die ! Wait, why are we killing eachother ?

German Solider 2: Because the death of Hitler left a power vacuum that allows anyone to claim the leadership of the Reich, so our commanders all claimed leadership and ordered us to attack the others ?

German Solider 1: Are we that stupid ?

German Solider 2: Yup. (The Solider shoots his comrade.)

The 4 commanders look in shock as the men were killing eachother.

Guderian: This is such a waste of blood, these men cloud be fighting... cockroaches...
And instead they kill themselves !

Klunge: Someone should control them.

The 4 nodded and keep watching the fight. Suddenly a yell was heard behind.

"What happened ?! Did you kill Pookums ?!"

They all turn seeing a shocked Eva.

Eva: How cloud you kill the father of my children ?!

The 4 at the same time: Children ?!

Just as they see, 2 toddlers appeared from behind Eva.

Manstein: But... how c-

Eva: don't ask how because I don't know, we had a wonderful night while you guys were on Australia.

Kluge: That means... (he turns to Rommel) pay it up.

Rommel gets his hand on the pocked and takes 100 fun-bucks handing it to Kluge: I hope you choke on it.

Eva: Now what do I do ? I won't go back to photography ! Unless... Is any of you lone ?

Kluge: Heck yeah !

Eva: I guess it would be better take a cyanite pill...

Suddenly Ribbentrop comes rushing in the room.

Ribbentrop: You did it ! I saw the anarchy out there so that means you did it ! Eva ?!

Eva looks as Ribbentrop comes, she never noticed how he was so handsome, he saw Eva and felt the same.

Eva: Do you want to marry me ?

Ribbentrop: Yes.

Kluge: WHAT ?! SO YOU REFUSE THE HANDSOME KLUGE TO TAKE RIBBENTROP ?! (Kluge rushed to crush ribbi's neck but the other 3 hold him off.)

Von Manstein: Calm down Kluge !

Kluge: I WILL NEVER KNOW WHAT IS LOVE !

Von Manstein: Don't be so sure kluge (he smiles and turn his head to the door of the study).

From the door appears a blonde SBT operative looking at Kluge.

Kluge: That is nice too, now excuse me boys.

Kluge left with the SBT operative. Meanwhile Ribbentrop headed to the group.

Ribbentrop: Guys, we need to avoid The Reich from falling in a anarchy of Warlord states like china ! What are we going to do ?

Guderian: I suggest that WE rule it, instead of a single leader we will have a Triumvirate, I call supreme General !

Ribbentrop: I can't belive I will say it but Guderian had a good idea ! I will take administration and stuff.

Rommel: Don't worry about me, I plan to retire and focus on the force. And Kluge... he have other issues...

Manstein: Then I take the command and take care on the rest of stuff.

Ribbentrop: Ok it is decided then, and I think we are forgetting something...

Shandy Pines fat camp, 1 October of 1945, 12:00

Goreing was finally leaving that place after the rehabilitation post-Liposuction, the commander of the Luftwaffe finally got fit and was hearing some last words of the SS observer.

SS: I hope you learned something these years herr.

Goring: That is always important to keep slim and to not make a stupid music of the furher if I don't want to come back to this nightmare ever again on my life ?

SS: Yes, I am proud of you herr, you finally stopped being a fudge packer and became a pure German. Remember to recommend to your friends.

Goring left the camp and went to his car, as he left the camp he brought out from under the seat a bucket of butter and 20 pizzas.

Goring: Did you also told them ?

Driver: Yes Sire.

As they left the camp, a air feet of JU88s dropped their payload on the camp, soon it started to rain Ham, Pizzas, Butter, and Coke. The members of the camp went out and started eating everything they saw, even the SS Agents cloudnt resist.

Driver: that was really generous sir.

Goring: those people were needing it, that experience changed me Jarvis, I began to give more value to the little things in life, like hotdogs, Saukerkraut, Pizzas, and butter.

Driver: Beautiful sir, beautiful.

Epilogue of the Epilogue:

Goring: he managed to get most of his old weight back, but he never recovered from shandy pines, the rest of his life be combated fat camps, launching bombing campaigns of food to help save those poor souls, he saved many from losing their obesity.

Rommel: Mastered the Force Concentration douctrine, lived much of his life in luxury, he got extremely rich from getting all lotto numbers and the state pension.

Kluge: Married a SBT operative and turned the squad in a elite force that scared even the Gestapo, loved the rest of his life in Sweden.

Manstein: Even as a member of the Triumvirate, he didn't need to do much, instead he also lived in Sweden and for some reason he loves to hunt mooses.

Guderian: Oversaw Army of the Reich, modernized the armored forces, he dedicated the rest of his life dedicated to the military.

Ribbentrop: He became the der Factus leader of the Reich for years, he managed to stabilize the Empire, stop the warmongering, and divorced his wife, marrying Eva Brau and raised his son as future leaders of Germany.

Rustican: The original owner and writer of the AAR, left the forum and never did the Epilogue.

Antonioneto232: A follower of Rustican that waited for too long for the epilogue, he decided to do it himself then.


The End.

Or not ?

A shadowy figure comes to the old study of Adolf Hitler, the cloacked figure opened the Notebook and installed a game on Steam:

Hearts of Iron IV

The figure is revealed to be... Heinrich Himmler !

Himmler: Yes... I will end what the furher started, my precious...