The green whale of a toad tries to wear an eyeglass, but the dish-sized lens quickly slips on its viscid skin and falls straight into the sludge.
"Bah! It was blurred anyway. This Hubble thingie really needs fixing. Never mind. I have great news for you, oh my obsucre shadows from the dark!"
The drowned giggles. If you've never heard a drowned giggling, just keep in mind that his lungs are partly filled with water and mud. This particular one even has leaks. You won't have to listen to it for very long anyway... An elephant-like paw has decided to use it as a carpet.
"I have great news indeed. The vote is over and our unfortunate victim has been chosen. Your suggestions are so interesting that I've decided we would rule the Ming..." The declaration is welcomed by deadly silence... But then, what could you expect from marsh ghosts?
"... just to let you know who's the boss."
The silence thickens (which probably means that already inexistent sounds are muffled, to boot). There is some hostility creeping in the air.
The fat heap of batrachian meat bursts in laugher.
"Don't try to make a face! You don't have any for the time being. I'll provide you with them along with fully fleshed incarnations... I was joking anyway. Novgorod it is."
A wave of relief spreads through the assistance. Someone switches the sound on again. The Evil Toad disinters its favorite drowned.
"Now, Jean-Charles-Henri-Gontrand, go fetch those maps and reports..."
"I hate when you call me that, Master." the drowned moans.
The Evil Toad displays a smile almost larger than its head.
"I know."
The drowned soon comes back with the papers. "This is weird, Master. I don't even know where the hell I could have found these."
"Paradox." The Evil Toad spits on the papers to stick them on dead trees.
"So, here's what we have:"
General map
“Just in case you didn't know, our fluffy bear of a country will be the northern green one (and yes, it's split in two). Not exactly the suitable kind of greenness, but I should be able to fix that.”
Overview
“A merchant republic, eh? At least, they should not be difficult to convert to slyness.”
Court
“A doge? Mmm... At least, he's decent. Oh, by the way, I've taken care of his loyalty. You know, he isn't all that young and blue pills have not been invented yet... Suffice to say that I know all kind of plants in these swamps.”
“I don't know about you, but I ain't too impressed. This Massalski could make my dazzling thoughts famous throughout the known world, but the others... Not even a decent painter to portray my beauty. Hey! There's no pretending. You can't puke without a body of your own.”
Religion
“The country has sworn allegiance to a single faith. They're all Ortodox. Orthodox Christianity, that is. The good point is that we will just have to put our own Patriarch in place and no one will notice that they're Orthodox Cultists. Oh by the way, we need a Patriarch of Amphibian Heresy."
Economy
“Not bad, really. But not much to say so far. We may need a Spirit of Greed and a Mad Scientist, if someone wants the jobs.”
Military
“We have a whopping two thousand pesky footmen, and the possibility to carry them through water. I could summon a few zombies to help, but that would make things a little boring, wouldn't it? Oh, and we already have a candidate to the title of Spirit of Slaughter. If no one else covets the function, then Mats_SX has it. As to the nutshells we're supposed to call boats, they may be attached to colonization and trade portfolios... Thus falling into the hands of TheExecuter. Oh, speaking of names, given yours I had thought about nominating you as Novgorod's Senior Human Resources Manager...”
Society:
“Not much to say until we have defined our orientations...”
Two severely rotten drowned bring in a shrieking damsel in distress hogtied on a silver plate.
“Oh, yes. Since we're leaving, I won't need this bait anymore.” The Evil Toad says. It picks the helpless princess and gobbles it.
“CHOMP CHOMP CHOMP... GULP... Mmmm... Tasty! Now I understand why those manly adventurers are always so eager to rescue my tender victims. But we have much to discuss. I'll keep Ironhead 5's pattern:”
Focus
Long term goals
Short term goals
“But I would like to add another. The Nefarious Achievement! Just about any super villain should have an ultimate wicked objective...”
“Yesss! Conquering the wOrld!”
“Hear, Jean-Charles-Henri...”
“Gniii...”
“... -Gontrand...”
“Arrghh.”
“I'm an Evil Toad, not some pesky Evil Genius. I'm not a genius!”
“Yes, Master, I know that.”
“Great. I thus need another Nefarious Achievement to pursue with my faithful cult... So far, here's what we have to do:”
-> Defining a
Nefarious Achievement
-> Defining a
focus
-> Defining
long term goals
-> Defining
short term goals
->
Granting the titles of:
Spirit of Slaughter: land forces
{Mats_SX}
Spirit of Insatiable Greed: economy, trade, colonization
{TheExecuter}
Spirit of Mental Adjustments: espionage, counter-espionage
{Amric} You know all that is to know about spies and murderers, don't you?)
Senior Human Resources Manager: production, social issues
{BBBD316}
Patriarch of Amphibian Heresy: religion
{Capibara}
Spirit of Subduing: diplomacy, foreign affairs
{Snake IV}
Mad Scientist: R&D and any issue related to that
...
->
Hands in the sludge work:
DP slider change
Advisors recruitment
Religious tolerances
Economy sliders
...
OOP:
1) No one is required to play any role nor to adopt the style of the AAR.
2) I originally wanted to post drawings of my own, just for fun, but there will be many pics already (screenshots) and my own Internet connection is bad enough for me to be cautious. Plus I won't have a digital camera until late August, which would make things difficult.
