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Amric

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The offices of the EUtopian Today are located on the third floor of the Amric Al'Aeshir Holdings Building in EUtopia City. Branch offices are located in the major regional cities of each province, including the W.E.T.

Modern computers are at every desk and high speed communications are standard throughout the offices.
 

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EUtopian Today

The nation’s newspaper. Serving all of EUtopia from EUtopia City to Hurteau, New Lancaster City to Farpoint and everywhere in between!

Owner: Amric Al’Aeshir Holdings
Managing Editor: Amric Al’Aeshir
Commentary: Charles S. Morgan
















This is our premier issue of EUtopian Today. This newspaper will be published using recycled paper provided by EUtopia Recycling and environmentally friendly inks and dyes.

The recent elections for President are indeed over, and Professor Talbott has been declared the winner. The newly elected President wasted no time appointing a cabinet and getting right down to business. In my humble opinion this may be the fastest a cabinet has ever been appointed.

Adam Julseau as MDIA

Some other newspapers have wondered over the appointments to the various cabinet positions. Some have taken a view against Adam Julseau as a member of the cabinet, due to bizarre behavior in other terms. Considering everything, is he the best choice? Only time will really tell, for sure. Is he controversial? You bet he is! Is he the right man for the job?

Well in some ways his diplomatic skills leave something to be desired. BUT! Perhaps a plain speaking, tough minded diplomat is what EUtopia needs right now. With all the negative press about EUtopia throughout the world recently in the last few terms and the instability of the government it might be a good thing to have someone like Julseau dealing with the outside world at this time. IF, and that is a big IF, he can remember to use more than a big stick during negotiations.

Konstantin Vilms to Return as MILE!

After taking over last term, Per Vilms has been chosen to continue to be Minister of Immigration and Law Enforcement. Such an appointment is a bold move, considering he is still relatively new to the job. This newspaper believes it is a good choice, however, as he has been doing a fine job as MILE since he took over the position. We believe he will continue to have a strong stance against crime. He seems to be capable of doing the job, and we wish him well.

Jacob Langley Appointed as MTEF!

In a shocking turnabout, Jacob Langley who had stated publicly that he was going to retire from politics, was named as Minister of Trade, Economy, and Finance. From one time President to Minister in the space of only a few weeks, one has to wonder just how sincere his original retirement announcement was. Not only did he leave all party affiliations, he started a Lobbyist Group, of which we applaud, with a stated purpose of shining a spotlight on politicians and the government in an unbiased fashion.

Yet he then joined Michael Lundgren’s party and also took a seat in the National Assembly. From retirement to holding a powerful ministry AND an National Assembly seat! It makes one wonder if his declaration of retirement was a subtle plan to elicit just such appointments and regain some of his lost power in EUtopian politics.

Will he do a good job as MTEF? It cannot be stressed enough that Per Langley is a truly gifted politician. Can he do the job? Absolutely. But the MTEF can be argued as the most powerful ministry in the government. Can he resist the urge to advance only his own agenda as MTEF and look toward the betterment of ALL EUtopia? Only time will tell for sure.

He did resign as head of the Langley Lobbyist Group, which is considered a logical and reasonable move, considering his abrupt return to politics. But this newspaper, and certainly others, will be watching what he does as MTEF.

Siegfried Robertsson Named MECT!

The new Minister of Education, Culture, and Technology is Siegfried Robertsson. A relative newcomer to politics in general, very little is really known about Per Robertsson and it is truly difficult to gauge just how effective he will be as MECT. What his goals are as the new minister is still up for debate in many circles and his appointment is seen as an odd one at best.


Amric Al’Aeshir Reappointed as MHES!

Per Al’Aeshir has once again become Minister of Health, Environment, and Social Services. An obvious and logical choice due to his efforts during the last term dealing with the viral outbreaks throughout EUtopia and the locust migrations. Although at one point in term five he considered not returning as MHES in term six. He changed his mind some time back, but hasn’t said as to why. But it is interesting to note that he resigned his seat in the NA in favor of Michael von Struesser of the CRP party.

He has been quoted as saying thus:

“I felt that it was important to strengthen our party alliance with the CRP and since I had been recently named to continue being MHES I felt it was more important to be focused on that instead of being pulled in two different directions with also being a member of the National Assembly. Per von Struesser will do a fine job in the NA, and will give the alliance another voice in the chambers.”

Charles S. Morgan Retires From Politics?

Per Morgan, having recently lost his bid to become EUtopia’s President, has declared that he will be retiring from politics. Being a newly independent, with no party affiliation, he is also no longer involved in any ministry as well. Rumor has it, which Per Morgan has not denied, that he will be attempting to buy back The BFC Gazette which he once owned under the auspices as The Gazette. If he indeed manages to do this, which will be quite difficult due to the disappearance of former Chief of Staff Blade, it is sure he will be a formidable newsman once more.

Adam Julseau Named Vice President!

In a move reminiscent of last term, President Talbott has appointed Adam Julseau as his Vice President. Something that former President Langley did with Vasco IKK last term. Something like this is an interesting choice, as Per Julseau is also MDIA, which puts a tremendous amount of power into the hands of one man.

This newspaper truly believes that a Vice President should not also be a minister. There has been talk in numerous circles as well as debate on whether a minister should also be allowed to hold a seat in the National Assembly. If there is debate on this, why not on whether a Vice President should hold a ministry?

Term Six Government Off to Fast Start!

President Talbott has lost no time since his election. Naming a cabinet within 72 hours of his election he has already convened them and has been speaking quite frequently with various members of the newly elected National Assembly. There is a great deal of flurry going on in the government offices, but it will only be a few weeks before we all know whether this is more show than substance.

Eco-Fascist Proposal Still in Limbo!

Despite calls in the NA during the tail end of the last term by various people, nothing was done about the Eco-Fascists proposal. Or as stated by Per Josephus Sergei Locke, Per Amric Al’Aeshir, Commander Stewart, and various others, demands from the Eco-Fascists. Debate was brief, and yet inspired by Per Locke and Al’Aeshir demanding some kind of action and asking that EUtopia not be held ransom or to kow tow to terrorists in any fashion.

Something needs to be done about the Eco-Fascists, and done quickly. This newspaper believes that granting autonomy to ANY group will only lead to others demanding autonomy for whatever reason they can dream up. Granting autonomy to splinter groups or terrorists is a certain way to ensure the collapse of EUtopia as we know it.

EUpress Makes Deal with Amric Al’Aeshir Holdings!

EUpress, the parent company of the famed The Vanguard comic, wants to become more environmentally friendly. They desire high quality recycled paper and environmentally friendly inks to publish the comic. AAH has accepted the idea, and this newspaper applauds both companies in using environmentally friendly materials.

MHES Looks Into Study About Women’s and Children’s Hospitals!

Minister Al’Aeshir and Deputy Minister Rebecca Cook have been discussing the advantages of creating Women’s and Children’s Hospitals in regional locations throughout EUtopia. While some might think this is pandering to the vote of women, it actually is a fine idea. Such hospitals are well known in other nations such as Australia and the United States. We believe here at the EUtopian Today that such hospitals will be a boon for women and children suffering from diseases and other medical conditions where such hospitals specialize in the treatment of women and children.

EUtopia Energy Corporation Announces Groundbreaking

EUtopia Energy Corporation announced today that they are breaking ground on a new power facility to be based 75 miles north of EUtopia City. The company claims that it will be using geothermal energy to produce electricity in a environmentally clean and safe manner for EUtopians. We here at the EUtopian Today laud the sentiment, but wonder if it can be pulled off.

Such energy is possible, but how much will be generated and how will it be sent to the average EUtopian citizen? If EEC can manage to break into the hidebound, pollution producing power companies seeming monopoloy of providing power to EUtopians we would be very pleased to see that.

The ESE tried a few terms ago to get EUtopia Power and Light to see the need and necessity of chaning how they produce electricity, or at the very least use more efficient scrubbers prior to releasing their toxins into the atmosphere, but to no avail.

Hopefully the EEC will flourish and show the way to other power companies that clean power is possible and that EUtopians PREFER such as opposed to breathing toxins from the output of the various power companies in EUtopia.

EUtopian Today is Looking for You!

This newspaper is looking for a Sports Editor as well as a Foreign Desk Correspondant/Editor. Any interested parties please contact the EUtopian Today offices.<OOC: PM me>


Letters to the Editor are always welcome here at the EUtopian Today<OOC:pM >
 
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Letter to the EUtopian Today

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Dear Sir,

Rather quickly I noticed that your headline editor is easily excitable: he ended all but two of the headlines in the paper with an exclamation mark!

One of the exceptions was "Charles S. Morgan Retires From Politics?" which is a good enough question. The other was "Adam Julseau as MDIA".

Apparently your enthusiastically gifted editors are not so pumped up over the appointment of Julseau to MDIA, are they?

Sincerely,

C.S. Morgan
Who may have retired from politics, but still likes to think that he knows how to write!


Reply:

Thank you for our very first letter, Per Morgan. You have a good point, the copy editor is excitable, but we're pretty fond of her anway. As for Julseau being appointed to the MDIA and the copy editor not being pumped up about it....well, this is her first day on the job. Considering everything, we here at the EUtopian Today feel she will get better at editing the copy.

We do appreciate your thoughts on this however. Coming from a newsman of your stature they are encouraging. If the copy editing is the only thing you have a concern about than I think we have done a fairly good job of reporting.

Amric Al'Aeshir
Managing Editor
 

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John O’Floinn Starts His Own Talk Show

EUtopia Tonight is the name of former President and current Attorney General John O’Floinn’s new talk show. What kind of topics will he showcase and who will be his first guest on the show is still up in the air. It so far appears to be a free wheeling, informal show with the charismatic O’Floinn center stage at his most clever and entertaining.

Minister Konstantin Vilms Travels to Farpoint City

Minister Vilms will be having a conversation with Mayor Thorsbeard on a variety of subjects including the Eco-Fascist and UEF situation. We here and the EUtopian Today wish him luck and hopefully he will be able to start resolving some of the problems plaguing the Western EUtopia Territory.

Télévision d'Eutopia Airs EUtopia City Mayoral Debates

Three major candidates have emerged to contest for the mayoral seat of EUtopia City. Patrick Connel of the CRP, William K. Eldridge of the LPE, and Frederick Lascar of the ETE. For the first time in memory three candidates are vying for the seat of the nation’s capital.

Of some interest is the fact that questions are going to be posed by a panel of three moderators. MILE Konstantin Vilms as chief moderator, former MDIA Charles S. Morgan, and entrepreneur Felix Anzaldua will be asking the tough questions of each of the candidates.

Minister Vilms threw out the first question in what is likely to be a lively and interesting debate between the three men attempting to become EUtopia City's next mayor.

Speaker Elections Loom Large

In what appears to be a fight for the direction the government will pursue the speaker elections could be the most hotly contested in five terms. The most likely candidates for speaker seem to be Bram Borgman of the ESRP, and in a surprise, Michael Lundgren, son of former MILE Jacob Lundgren.

Michael Lundgren is new to the EUtopian political arena yet seems to have garnered support from various people in a bid to keep perennial Deputy Speaker Bram Borgman from assuming the Speaker position.

What is at stake? Control of EUtopia. President Talbott needs the support of the National Assembly and could be lobbying hard to prevent Per Borgman from reaching his goal of finally becoming Speaker.

Per Borgman has been accused of being difficult and willing to block legislation from going forward. He has defended himself by stating that he was doing the right thing for all of EUtopia. His main detractors seem to be the ETE and CC. Which is not a surprise as they are ideologically polar opposites.

Per Borgman has garnered support from his own party and that of the Democratic Alternative and the CRP. Whether this is enough to catapult him into the position he covets remains to be seen.

Coal Going to United States?

Last term there was talk of the United States buying coal from the mining concerns here in EUtopia. Cash strapped and having laid off thousands of workers such an act would allow many, if not all, of the miners to return to work, bringing much needed business to the hard hit mining industry and a shot in the arm to the economy as a whole.

While this is an admirable goal, in this newspaper’s opinion it doesn’t go far enough. EUtopia needs to find more trading partners to export more coal to continue to keep our miners working and keep a part of our economy from further stalling out and/or going directly into free fall.

Fishing Industry Continues to Feel the Pinch

Many fisherpers continue to be in financial difficulty due to outdated vessels and equipment. Many fishing trawlers no longer are able to go out and harvest fish due to needing repairs and upgrades that they fisherpers can’t afford.

Renard Rouge and Anzaldua and Associates have both put out proposals to the fishing community in order to help, but perhaps the government ought to provide very low interest loans or even grants to deserving fisherpers, allowing them to acquire much needed modern trawlers and updated equipment. The fishing industry is a very important part of our current economy and something must be done to help out these poor sea dependent families.

The Economy

The latest figures seem to point to a thirteen percent unemployment rate. What isn’t known is if that is a truly accurate figure. Once unemployment benefits run out those people who still haven’t found a job fall through the cracks of the system and no longer truly register as unemployed even though they still don’t have gainful employment.

What has been suggested during the Presidential and National Assembly campaigns was the idea of deferred taxes and low interest loans to encourage people to start new businesses in an attempt to stimulate the economy by having people start their own businesses.

Which is not a bad idea, but so many sectors of a modern economy need to be stimulated. Not just mining and fishing and logging, but the technology sector, the service sector, and the start of mom and pop operations that would provide jobs for many people and not have them ‘chained’ to large multinational corporations.

WHO Officials Arrive in EUtopia

Very late in term five the World Health Organization arrived at New Lancaster City to be met by MHES Amric Al’Aeshir. He spoke with them and escorted them to EUtopia City General Hospital. The WHO people are currently working with Doctor Rivers there before moving on to Hurteau where the viral outbreak started. It is expected that with the help of WHO that the virus will relatively soon be fully and completely contained and eradicated.

EUtopia Olympic Committee Formed Yet Again

For the third time the EOC has come together in an attempt to create an Olympic team to compete in the 2004 Summer Games in Athens. We applaud the efforts of the committee in trying to field a competitive team, but we are left with a burning question. Why is it the third time this is being done? How is it possible that the first two attempts ended in failure and will this attempt end the very same way?

Attorney General John O’Floinn as the only member from the original committees is also involved in this try to reach Olympic gold in Greece. Perhaps the third time WILL be the charm. This newspaper and surely many EUtopians would dearly love to see a competitive team in Athens. It would be even better if some of them managed to bring home gold, but since it will be the first time in the Olympics for EUtopia perhaps it is better to hope for decent showings by the athletes rather than putting undue pressure on them.

It is only the first Olympics in what hopefully will be a longstanding effort in future games. Just having a presence is a victory for EUtopia. Anything further would be great, but not a true requirement.

Anti Terror Commission

Outgoing MDIA Charles Morgan is chairing this committee and it is hoped that they will be able to wrap up their business and submit a plan of action to the President and the National Assembly that can be put into play and enforced.

Mini Casino to be placed in New Lancaster Airport

New Lancaster is getting an improved and enlarged airport facility that will also include a mini casino with slot machines and other betting machines in an effort to gather more income for the government of our fair island. New Lancaster Airport is not the only airport to presumably be getting a mini casino. There has been talk of doing such in other major airports throughout EUtopia. Will this come to pass? Perhaps only if the first one is a success. If it flops there is likely no reason to believe any others will be placed in airports anywhere else in EUtopia.

There has been concern among some NA members that this will open the door to true actual casinos opening their doors within EUtopia in general. Unless the mini casino in New Lancaster is a success there is little need to worry about full fledged casinos coming to EUtopia.

Tourism Touted As Way to Help Economy

In a move considered a little late coming by this newspaper, some in the government are proposing to tout EUtopia as a tourist destination for Europeans and Americans in an attempt to siphon the billions in tourist dollars spent in Caribbean nations every year. The EUtopian Society for the Environment touted Eco-Tourism back in Term Four but was virtually ignored. Would it help the economy? Undoubtedly. If EUtopia can shed the image of a banana republic so unstable as to be hazard to visitors from other nations.

There is no doubt that EUtopia is on the US list of nations that Americans should not visit except at their own risk. It is highly likely that many European nations have given similar warnings to their citizens as well. Unless and until EUtopia can clear up its tarnished image in the eyes of the world it is unlikely that tourism is going to be the quick fix for the economy that some people believe it could be.


Letters to the Editor:

Dear Editor...

I recently read your piece "Eco-Fascist Proposal Still in Limbo"... I would like to re-iterate that the EEA, nor any of its member organizations, including the EEP and EEC, have not proposed anything. We believe you are misrepresenting the EF movement by generally labeling the UEF as Eco-Fascists, who have no affiliation with us.

~1rst Secretary, EEA

Reply:

Dear Per,

Unfortunately many of our readers have no idea what the differences are between your movement and the Eco-Fascists. We would be delighted if you would write us and explain what the differences are between your two organizations.

Amric Al'Aeshir
Managing Editor
 

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Saturday Edition

Former Chief of Staff Blade! Still Missing

Former CoS Blade! is still missing. All efforts to find him or his body have proven to be fruitless. His beloved wife was found some time ago dazed, confused, and pregnant. So far she had been unable to tell her rescuers or MILE officials what became of her husband. Blade! disappeared around the same time as former President Langley in the middle of term five and so far the only thing known is that his private yacht had sunk off the coast of EUtopia. Whether he is or was a victim of foul play or perhaps some more sinister plot is unknown at this time.

Our best wishes and hopes for his recovery go out to his family. With his disappearance the entire corporate umbrella known as the Blade! Family Holdings is in disarray and the stock has gone into a kind of tailspin.

Former Speaker Dr. Jonathon Glasser is Also Still Missing

During the disappearance of former President Langley and the incapacitation of former VP and President Vasco IKK, Dr. Glasser for a brief time was interim President, filling the void left by Langley. Shortly after Langley’s return and subsequent next disappearance Dr. Glasser disappeared shortly after Christmas. His whereabouts are unknown.

No effort, as of yet, has been seen by the MILE in determining his location and whether he might be a victim of foul play. Dr. Glasser was recently re elected to another term in the National Assembly but with his disappearance it is likely that former President Vasco IKK will take over the NA seat seemingly vacated by the missing Dr. Glasser.

Rebecca Cook Named as Deputy MHES

As had been reported in passing in the first issue of the EUtopian Today Miss Cook is Deputy MHES. She is also a member of the National Assembly, recently being re elected to office as a member of the DA party after leaving the CRE party at the tail end of term five. She had also been Deputy MHES during term five and has been working closely with the MHES in a variety of issues.

Train Derailment Causes Officials to Try and Cast Blame

Various officials within the government have been pointing fingers at one another due to the recent train derailment which caused hazardous materials to spill onto the countryside. MILE and MHES officials worked hand in hand to clean up the mess and investigate the cause of the wreck. One official was quoted as saying that the accident was ‘totally preventable’. Which leads one to wonder if it was preventable why wasn’t it?

Was someone asleep at the switch, as it were? Or is it a sign of something more ominous? Is it a sign of a crumbling infrastructure that is in need of repair and upgrading? Either way, the investigation should ferret out the truth and hopefully something can be learned from this horrible tragedy and a repeat of it can be prevented in the future.

Government to Divest?

There has been talk of the government divesting itself of various government run companies and organizations such as Maritcom, Omnicare, et al. While having less government is not necessarily a bad thing, it should be cautious in allowing private enterprises to take over government companies. If such companies are to be sold off to private corporations they should be broken up into pieces to encourage and engender competition and fair trade for the average EUtopian citizen.

There are two main camps on this issue. Those who believe that divesting these companies is bad for the government and those who feel it is better to have a leaner, less intrusive government. There is a third group who feels that there should be MORE government involvement in the lives of the average EUtopian.

This issue could polarize the National Assembly in ways that have yet to be seen in EUtopian politics. Especially depending on whom becomes Speaker.

Michael von Struesser Named Deputy MTEF

Jacob Langley appointed the former MTEF as his deputy recently and the two men have been working furiously to create a brand new budget. Something we haven’t seen since term three. Term five saw a budget proposed but never ratified late in the term. With the current budget deficit and that same deficit increasing it is paramount that a budget be worked out, proposed and most importantly voted on early in the term.

The sooner EUtopia has a balanced budget, the sooner EUtopia can further its goals of economic recovery.

Vasco IKK Ponders Taking Chair of Democratic Alternative Party

Due to the continuing absence of Dr. Glasser, the current party chairman there has been back room discussions and open talk about Per IKK taking over as party chair. So far the party is starting to drift what with the disappearance of Glasser. Even with the efforts of trying to get re elected as President, Per IKK has been in constant communication with the leading members of the party and certain members of the party have been asking for him to take over the party and lead.

Big To Do Over Nothing in Douglas?

Charles Scott Morgan had a large rally at his Douglas Devil Rays Stadium with a vocal crowd when he formally announced his retirement from politics. Two members of the press, including a correspondent from this very newspaper have been asking him questions about his future plans. As has been speculated before there is rumors that he is considering returning to publishing a newspaper, but he has not given a concrete answer to that question.

New Lancaster Airport Expansion

With construction beginning on the expansion of the New Lancaster Airport the clean up from the areas demolished to make room for the expansion is coming to an end. Difficulties due to asbestos and other contaminants made the clean up take longer than originally anticipated. AAH is expected to take a loss in the clean up efforts due to their unwillingness to botch the job. Which is a laudable concern and well worth applauding in general. So few companies worry about the welfare of the environment and the citizens of EUtopia that it is a breath of fresh air when one openly declares it would rather take a loss in revenue than endanger EUtopian lives.

National Recycling Day

It’s coming soon. The MHES is sponsoring this event in an effort to raise awareness on the benefits of recycling and how it helps the environment and lowers manufacturing costs when recycled materials are used. In cooperation with the EUtopian Society for the Environment and Recycling company officials there will be brochures, television commercials and a festival to help EUtopians to see the wisdom in recycling and to educate them on what materials can be recycled.

Government costs for National Recycling Day are actually quite minimal. Television, radio, and print advertising for the Day is pretty much the only cost the government will incur, other than some police officers to keep order/peace and reroute through traffic from the event locations.

Most of the booths and such will be funded by the ESE and recycling companies, with a government booth at each location manned by an informed MHES staffer.

The benefits of recycling are so many that it would take a book to really inform our readers fully. The ESE has brochures on the subject which can give one an overview, and those and other information will be available during the National Recycling Day events.

The EUtopian Today urges its readers to attend the events and learn about recycling and its benefits to the environment, manufacturers, and the average citizen of EUtopia.
 
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Page Two

New Restaurant La Cafe Petite Opens Its Doors

A very exclusive place indeed. Reservations are a must, yet there are those who have automatic reservations at any time. Who are these lucky individuals? The President,
Any Members of the NA, Speaker of the NA, Fredrick Lascar, Owner, All members of the ETE. Private club is more in line to what this place actually represents which is a place for government people to meet and greet. But one can’t help but notice that Ministers are noticeably absent from this elite list. Is this an oversight by the owner, one Fredrick Lascar, or a unusual snub? This newspaper tends to believe it is an oversight by the owner and it will probably be corrected quickly.

The main concept seems to be a place to see and be seen for the politicos of EUtopia and perhaps the place where back office deals will be brokered.

Télévision d'Eutopia Scores Another Coup

Télévision d'Eutopia has made an offer to televise Langley Media Groups EUtopia's Political Deathmatch. A highly popular new program with the opening tagline of “Welcome to Eutopia's Political Deathmatch, where we take our nations leading political voices and have them mix it up ... until one of them drops deeeeeead!”

Negotiations are still in progress between the companies but it is almost certain that a deal will be inked and TdE will be the exclusive place to see this new and violent program that has captured the nation’s imagination.

Langley Lobbyist Group Think Tank on Foreign Policy

With a who’s who of EUtopian politicians and former politicians such as Jacob S. Langley, Chairman and MTEF, Pierre Talbott President of EUtopia, Charles S. Morgan former MDIA, Amric Al'Aeshir MHES, Michael von Streusser Deputy MTEF and MoNA, Konstantin Vilms MILE.

Yet this group has languished and not accomplished anything. Mostly due to the recent election flurry of campaigning and organizing offices, or in the case of Per Morgan, finishing cleaning out his office. But elections are over and there should be some kind of debate and discussion going on. One can hope the group can start working and get some thoughts and momentum moving toward some policy ideas that might be of some use to the government.

The Lectiosim Party’s Bid to Scrap Constitution

William Edridge is the leader of this party and has proposed a radical idea. Scrap EUtopia’s current constitution and replace it with one he has been working on. Admittedly he has worked long and hard on his creation, but is it a good idea to scrap EUtopia’s current constitution and start all over again?

There are those who agree with him, and there are those who vehemently disagree with him. With no seat in the National Assembly and no real voice in the government it will be unlikely that he will succeed in his quest, at least for this term.

EUtopian Charter of Rights Working Group

Another organization, this time chaired by Hawkton J. Tilly, a famous defense attorney, has another long list of politicians and influential people such as William K. Edridge, Konstantin Vilms, Amric Al'Aeshir, Barry Garcia, Josephus Sergei Locke, Jacob Langley, Vasco IKK, Charles S. Morgan, Professor P.G. Talbott, John O'Floinn, Ristard Deaghaidh, Michael von Streusser, Captain Roberto Martinez.

Some of whom are also involved with the moribund Foreign Policy Group chaired by former President Langley. However this group has been having lively debate between the members of the group from the very beginning.

Whether this group can actually propose a working bill that will be offered to the National Assembly, let alone passed is a matter of conjecture. With the possibility of a fractured assembly unable or perhaps unwilling to work together it could prove very difficult to get his Charter of Rights turned into a bill and then into law.

We here at the EUtopian Today wish them luck and hope that this bill in the making actually does make it onto the floor of the assembly and passes.

Military Tribunal of Vice Admiral Tulp and General Haynes Continues

Nobody on the outside of this tribunal really knows what is going on other than it is happening. Some members of the government and military have been called as witnesses but as to who is testifying and who is viewing the proceedings is nearly impossible to know at this time.

When a verdict is in, you can be sure it will be reported in this newspaper.

Jack Teano Seen in EUtopia

Reverend Jack Teano was seen in EUtopia briefly visiting with some old cronies such as Attorney General John O’Floinn and former President Jacob Langley among others while taking a break from his son’s trial in the United States

He seems in good spirits despite that trial and we here at the EUtopian Today wish him and his family well.

Baron J. Baner Still Missing

The baron is also missing in action lately. With the disappearances of Blade! and Dr. Glasser this naturally leads people to wonder if there is some sort of conspiracy going on. Both Blade! and Baron Baner are staunch monarchists, yet Dr. Glasser is not. With the baron’s disappearance the Royal Guard Society seems to have fallen into disarray and confusion.

While the EUtopian Today is not a proponent of the monarchy, it is disturbed by the recent disappearances of three of EUtopia’s most prominent citizens and believes that the MILE should step up their efforts to find not only Blade! but Dr. Glasser and Baron Baner as well.

The Collapse of the CRE

With the defection of Rebecca Cook to the DA, and the other leaders of the party going their separate ways it seems that the monarchists of EUtopia have lost their voice and their vision. There is no strong central leadership for the monarchists anymore and it definitely hurt them in the recent elections.

Which leads one to believe that although there is some support for the monarchy there is no longer a will to really try and restore it. Which in the opinion of this newspaper is not necessarily a bad thing. But for those who are staunch supports of the monarchy the total collapse of the CRE has left them without a real voice in government for the first time since EUtopia became a republic.

The other parties of EUtopia can no longer point their fingers at the CRE and speak of them as the bogeyman. They will have to find a new target for their ire and fear, and that may very well end up being the new party ETE. The left fears them and believes them to be fascists, although the CC is working with them in a sort of coalition.

Is the ETE the new bogeyman for the left and center to point at and fear? Some of the public statements of their leaders would lead some to believe that they are more dangerous than the CRE ever was. But are they really that dangerous? Or is it mostly posturing and no real substance?

They are too new a party to really know what their real goals and objectives are, but it is assumed that if they manage to keep their party together and not fragment like so many others have that they could very well be a force to be reckoned with. What that might entail is something only the ETE really knows.
 
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Eutopian Today Sunday Edition

Blood and Organs Are In Short Supply!

The EUtopian Red Cross is in desperate need of blood, particularly of type “O”. They also are in short supply of tissue and organs. The short supply of blood is a bad sign, especially since so many people are recovering from the virus that has been plaguing EUtopia.

Eutopia does not allow medical technicians to remove organs for donation after death without expressed written permission from the donor. Aggrieved families, even if they are willing to see the organs donated, often are prohibited from making such a donation of their family member's organs or tissues. And given the time sensitive nature of removing organs after death, it is often impossible to track down personal paperwork the deceased may have left giving such permission.

The Red Cross is urging Eutopians to give blood and fill out organ and tissue donation cards. The EUtopian Today also lends its voice in asking readers to go to the nearest blood donation location to give blood and fill out organ and tissue donation cards.

Retiring EUtopia City Mayor Changes His Mind About His Name

Raju Chandragupta, outgoing long time mayor of EUtopia City, has decided to change his name back to Jaideep Chandinagar. The decision was prompted by the revelation that suggested that his mother may have, in fact, not been abused, but was instead, at her advanced age, confusing her past life with a popular romance novel, have prompted the mayor, with a mix of embarassment and bitterness, to simply change his name back.

He was quoted as saying "If everyone wants to call be Jaideep Chandinagar, then fine, call be Chandinagar. Call me Chandragupta. Call me Porky. Call me anything you want, just don't call me late for dinner."

You have to love the tongue in cheek answer though.

Rare Ruby To Be Displayed Throughout EUtopia

South African heiress Witney VonVaam will travel to Eutopia to open the special "Stones of South Africa" traveling exhibit, on display throughout the nation this month.

The six city tour will feature some of the finest and rarest gemstones and jewels from the southern continent, while Per VonVaam will personally escort her family's rare "Heart of the Lion Ruby" into the country and will wear it at a special charity dinner to benefit Eutopia's museums.


Where the charity dinner is to be held hasn’t yet been decided but perhaps a grand location would be the Naitonal Museum.

Conduct Review Begins For Service Chiefs

Eutopia may be left with some vacancies in its military command structure. Or, alternatively, the credibility of our past president may be cast in extreme doubt. One of these two results are likely at the conclusion of the series of events set in motion this week by the Intermartial Judicial Council's conduct review hearing of Vice Admiral Henrik Tulp and Brigadeer General David Haynes.

Live coverage of the event is prohibitied to protect the confidentiality of state secrets, but the Eutopian Today will attempt to interview those involved once the tribunal is over.

Many prominent Eutopians have been invited to testify, including former President and Commander in Chief Vasco I Killed Kenny, upon whom much of the case rests. Several irregularities in the normal monitoring of Eutopia's command post seem to have occurred, making the truth difficult to ascertain.

In a big surprise, as the court named witnesses to appear before the tribunal, Michael Lundgren, son of deceased former Speaker and Mile Jacob Lundgren was invited to testify. With no known connection to the military, other than his mandatory conscript service, this remains a mystery.

It is unknown how long this hearing will proceed. Final outcomes range from no action and reinstatement of the service chiefs on one extreme all the way to charges of treason on the other.

The Eutopian Today will stay right on top of this story.

MTEF Launches Probe Into Maritcon

Former President and newly appointed Minister, Jake Langley, is launching a special probe in the finances and operating practices of Maritcon, EUtopia’s government subsidized shipbuilding concern.

Langley was quoted as saying, "Something here just doesn't add up,and we're going to get to the bottom of it."

Nobody at Maritcon was willing to answer phone calls in response to Minister Langley’s pronouncement.

El Maestro Puts Another Notch On His Gavel

Judge Caesar Anton added another notch to his gavel, literally, making the symbolic gesture after convicting Dolph Idiolum to death following his conviction in the murder of Charles DeSpirit, General Secretary of the national federation of the Eutopian “Soldiers of God”. Local police in the French provinces finally solved this case, which had remained open since the term of President O'Floinn.

Idiolum was a former member of the MEOR, who was caught recently trying to purchase illegal African weapons in Hurteau. Nabbed by MILE border authorities, Idiolum opened fire and wounded two agents, before he was brought in.

While hard evidence against Idiolum in the slaying of Anton was a bit sketchy, Judge Anton, using the clear evidence of the attempted weapons purchase, his name on an old police MEOR watch -list, and testimony from a cell mate of Idiolum, accepted the local magistrate's charges and sentenced him the maximum punishment.

Idiolum denied the testimony given by Marc Grimauld, that the suspected MEOR member kept him awake all night boasting of his adventures in the MEOR, of daring criminal actions and "gunning down that pig DeSpirit". Anton, in his opinion, cited Idiloum's ties to terrorism as reason enough to doubt his credibility and accused him of lying in the court in addition to the charged crimes.

This is the judge’s eleventh order for execution, and it is sure that it will NOT be his last.

Stock Exchange Names New Director

The Neuwestabden Stock Exchange today named, Zuckergußgebäck von Maazarin as Managing Director.

Per Maazarin will be responsible for keeping the exchange in good working order, in building membership, and investigating fraud and abuse.

Per Maazarin is the leader of the new "ultra centrist" movement. He is a retired second lieutenant in the 1st eutopian reserve-frogman division, and is a third generation Eutopian.

We here at the Eutopian Today congratulate Per Maazarin on his appointment and appreciates the return to a more centered approach within the Stock Exchange.

Personal Security, The Wave of the Future?

Sometimes its hard to see the trends developing among EUtopia’s elite, but not this season. Many Eutopian politicians and wealthy are looking toward personal security to ensure their safety. With the disappearances of Blade!, Dr. Glasser, and Baron Baner perhaps they have reason to be concerned.

Michael Lundgren, wealthy heir to the late Jacob Lundgren, has been seen at his Sports Tavern surrounded by football players from his football team. While on the other end of the spectrum, Captain Roberto Martinez has been keeping himself surrounded by Markinson Security men.

Is this a reasonable thing to do? Possibly, especially due to the upheavals that have been occurring nearly every term lately. Does it seem that those with money and power have the ability to buy personal protection while the average citizen of EUtopia is subject to various crimes without the recourse of Personal Security.

MILE officials and the police forces throughout EUtopia do an excellent job, but they cannot be everywhere, yet those who have the ability to buy safety can do so while so many EUtopians have no such opportunity.
 

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Sunday Special Edition

New Director of Neuwestbaden Stock Exchange Calls Press Conference

The new Director, Per Maazarin, got off to a rocky start when he ordered the closing of Maritcon stock. Apparently he was unaware that the company is completely subsidized and owned by the government and therefore is not even ON the stock exchange. The faux pas was resolved when he blamed an underling for giving him erroneous information.

If the company had been publicly traded it should be closed for trading. It has been very poorly run and officials of the company have been unavailable for comment.

Connel Industries Changes Name

The Connel Industries board voted 7-4 to incorporate all CI assets into the EBC, as from this minute on CI ceases to exist and is now The EUtopian Broadcast Corporation. All enquiries should be made at one of EBC's regional HQ's or at Head Office in EUtopia City.

Thus ends the sage of Connel Industries as it reforms into the new named entity.

Cultural Public Radio?

There has been talk of shelving the idea, which has caused some to consider bringing out to the public with the same kind of format, but as a for profit enterprise. EUpress and the new EBC are frontrunners for the opportunity to bring EUtopia cultural public radio to the masses. Such an endeavor would be of great benefit to EUtopians in general and this newspaper hopes that the two companies manage to develop the program and bring it to the airwaves.

Teano and Langley Seen at Restaurant Redlight

The two men, long time friends and periodic rivals, have been seen eating dinner at the Restaurant Redlight. As reported before, the former reverend is in EUtopia for only a brief period of time. William Edridge has also been seen frequenting the restaurant, which is a hot spot for politicians and business moguls.

MHES Develops Organ Donation Concept in Concert with President

Minister Al’Aeshir and President Talbott had a private conversation right on the heels of the EUtopian Red Cross announcement of a blood shortage along with organ and tissue deficiencies. What developed from that conversation?

Al’Aeshir, quoted in an address to his staff as saying this:

“Our current blood and organ shortage poses a serious threat to the general health of our nation. One of the problems, as least with organ donation, seems to be the lack of readily-available information on organ donors...obscure legal paperwork has to be dug up, which, I assume, hinders people from becoming organ donors in the first place. Thus, I have the following idea, based on a conversation with the President: the creation of a national Organ Donor Registry, handled by the MHES. Those who wished to donate need only sign up for the Registry, without the need for a lawyer (although if they still wanted to pursue that route they could do so), and, upon their death, a doctor could easily check to see if their names were on the registry, and, if so, take immediate action to harvest the appropriate organs.”

This sounds like a good plan that might streamline the organ and tissue donation process and perhaps eliminate the shortages in that area. Which would help save many lives that are lost due to a lack of organs and tissue currently.

We here at the EUtopian Today applaud the initiative of President Talbott and Minister Al’Aeshir.

ESRP Chairman Takes Leave

Josephus Sergei Locke, the fiery chairman of the ESRP party, has been advised by his doctors to take some time off due to the enormous pressure that has been on him the past few terms. People close to him have said that he looks very tired and has developed a twitch in his left eye.

Apparently due to lack of sleep, some of his closest friends have noted. “Uncle” Joe, as some of his most vocal detractors have called him, is going to be taking a well deserved vacation and try to rest and recuperate.

“I’m going to sleep in, perhaps read a book or two, and eat healthy foods,” Josephus said with a tired chuckle,” It’s time to have a little ‘me’ time and allow my good friend Bram Borgman run the party for a little while as I recuperate.”

We here at the EUtopian Today wish him well and a speedy recovery. Per Locke is a strong and vocal supporter of the far left and has managed the affairs of the ESRP well and kept the party cohesion in the face of other parties throughout EUtopia splintering into numerous tiny groups.

Vanguard Movie Seeks Director

Not only is a director needed, but an entire crew will have to be put together, as well as a producer. Plus there is debate on whether the cast should be high profile, high cost stars or perhaps using a cast of virtual unknowns. Then locations would have to be chosen, and sets built. There isn’t even a true movie studio in EUtopia, as far as this newspaper is aware of, so there is quite a few initial costs that haven’t been factored in.

The EUtopian Today believes that this movie could be high quality, but the costs will be more than EUpress and its partner realize.

Charles S. Morgan May Not Return to Publishing

After his big rally in Douglas questions were raised, and answered, by some of his people. One of them was if Per Morgan would indeed return to publishing. The answer? Maybe not. Why? Because of the emergence of this very Newspaper was the reply. While having such a noted former publisher saying such a nice thing, it is kind of sad to see that he seems to be drifting without having a government position.

Granted, at 64, he has definitely EARNED to the right to retire from politics. And from publishing if he so desires, but he has been a valuable and interesting member of EUtopia’s elite for so long that his absence from politics and publishing has left a huge void, in this newspaper’s opinion.

MHES to Appear on EUtopia Tonight

John O’Floinn’s new talk show has scored an interview with current Minister of Health, Environment, and Social Services, Amric Al’Aeshir. What the topic or format will be is unknown. The two men first met when former President O’Floinn appointed Al’Aeshir to replace Per Fitzpatrick as MHES near the end of term four.

The two men seemed to have a decent working relationship and have remained friends even after Per O’Floinn left office as President. The two men were seen at one point last term on O’Floinn’s new golf course playing a quick round.

We here at EUtopian Today believe that whatever the format or issues discussed on the show, it will be interesting to view. Both men have wit, charm, and an interesting sense of humor. Good luck to both of them, and we here will be watching.


EXTRA!

Charles S. Morgan has agreed to be do editorial commentary in this very newspaper! We’d like to welcome him aboard and look forward to his first commentary.
 

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Editorial

Generation C Takes Over
-C.S. Morgan

Well, it's official now. Our country has been taken over by Generation C.

What is Generation C? It's Conservative. It's Cool. And it's either Calvin Coolidge-like in its reClusive-ness, or Conspicuous in its political Climbing.

The CC is obviously the home of most Generation C-ers. Even the acronym fits.

Pierre Talbott is Captain. He was almost completely unknown when Vasco IKK appointed him into Cabinet. We at the NPP whispered to ourselves, Who is this guy? What's he like? And in a month he was President! Now he's all over the place, fighting for Commerce, Culture, and Common Cense...I mean Sense. I'm really taking this way too far, aren't I?

Next up is Roberto Martinez. He's Speaker of the Assembly now. And he is, of course, a Captain in the armed forces. It's all a Conspiracy of the letter C. As the Assembly's Chief Communicator, he will create commissions and legislate like crazy.

What about Antoine de Raph? He's MECT now. Actually, I don't know if that's really his name. Isn't he the running back for Carolina or something? Well, that's obscure for you.

And then there's Adam Julseau, who's just plain crazy.

Let's all hope that our Conservative Coalition Commander in Chief and his Conservative Cabinet can solve all our crises and keep out the Commies!

I'm in a very strange mood today.

C.S.M.
 

Amric

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The EUtopian Today would like to post a correction. Charles S. Morgan is 67 years of age, not 64 as earlier reported.
 

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EUtopian Today Monday Edition

Charles Morgan Starts His Column

Charles S. Morgan has gotten right down to work and submitted his first column. Funny, irreverent, and yet still to the point, in his own inimitable way. His Andy Rooneyesque approach is a refreshing take on things and we are expecting more of the same from our elder statesman.

EUtopia City Mayoral Debates Rage On

The three candidates, Patrick Connel, William Edridge, and Fredrick Lascar are locked in battle. None of them are giving an inch, and every one of them are passionate about their views. Especially about the subject of EUtopia City’s pollution problems.

What we find interesting is that they all seem to be taking a partial page from the EUtopian Society for the Environment’s proposal in a brochure about reducing pollution in a city such at EUtopia City. With more public transportation using electric buses and so forth. Which was suggested TWO terms ago, but they have gone a bit further with the idea of banning most automobiles, in the case of ETE candidate Fredrick Lascar, and William Edridge.

Which is laudable, in a way, but perhaps the equivalent of using a hammer to swat a fly. Banning vehicles completely? Why not just have electric vehicles, which would allow for pollution reduction. Public transportation is a grand idea, and having it all be electric is also wonderful, but completely banning all private vehicles smacks of poor, pathetic communist nations where people can’t afford automobiles anyway.

In fact, can they even do such a thing? With the national government based in EUtopia City, perhaps it should be a national government issue to demand changes in the pollution emitted by vehicles and smoke stacks. Requiring higher emissions standards from vehicles imported, or even better, demand hybrid vehicles that are gasoline AND electric powered.

Rail routes using electric trains, subways and buses also using electric power would be of tremendous help as well. That would make a small dent in the pollution around EUtopia City, but also through out the entire nation!

Now if only power generating facilities would be more environmentally responsible and use more efficient air scrubbers and even start thinking of environmentally friendly ways to produce power.

The Centrist Magazine Starts Publishing

The mouthpiece of the EUC<EUtopian UltraCentrists>, founded by Zuckergußgebäck von Maazarin, will be publisizing events concerning the EUC. We welcome them to the Eutopian publishing world and wish them luck.

Speaker Elections Over, Shocking Results!

It took three rounds to do it, but in the end Captain Roberto Martinez is the new Speaker of the National Assembly. The first round found Dr. Jonathon Glasser eliminated from contention. Then the second round has Michael Lundgren conceding defeat. The third round had Captain Martinez winning by one vote the Speakership.

What does this mean? The far right has complete control of both the executive and legislative branches of the government. Which can be a boon, or a catastrophe, depending on one’s point of view. If things go well, the far right will get the credit. If things go even further down the tubes, as it were, then they will receive all the blame.

The far left and center are now incapable of stopping the far right from enacting any kind of legislation they desire. Again, this could be a opportunity for the far right to really get things accomplished, or to bungle things even more than they are right now.

Until the National Assembly gets to real work, there is no way to know what will happen. But there is one more issue to be decided in the National Assembly. Who will be Deputy Speaker? Will it be perennial Deputy, Bram Borgman? Or will the far right further put a stranglehold on power and bring in someone else from the far right?

Nobody knows for now, and it is up to Captain Martinez to make his choice. Everyone in the hallowed halls of government just might be holding their collective breath as he ponders his decision.

EUpress to Hire Stoneman Advertising

In a bold move, EUpress has shown interest in having Stoneman Advertising to publicize and market their comic books and the possible Vanguard movie. A strong move, considering that most comic companies prefer to do such things in house. By outsourcing the advertising and marketing it could save EUpress money and create more buzz about their comic and movie due to the marketing skill of Stoneman Advertising.

TdE: Knowledge is Wealth is Still Rolling

Linc Hubberdale, the charismatic host of the show, along with his lovely co-host Cher Eveau, have had the former President IKK, current President Talbott, and Barry Garcia competing.

President Talbott has a rather commanding lead with D700, while the other two have great big goose eggs. The troubling part is that former President IKK has two ‘whacks’ as the show calls it. Barry Garcia has one ‘whack’, while Talbott has no ‘whacks’ whatsoever.

Vasco IKK is only one ‘whack’ away from being eliminated from competition. He is going to have to regroup and come on strong if he is to catch President Talbott, while Barry Garcia will have to make an almost superhuman effort to get back into the game as well.

Train Derailment Investigation Continues

The MILE is still investigating the derailment and will hopefully have a full report soon. The MHES is also still cleaning up the bio contaminants that spilled due to the derailment. What exactly spilled is unclear and the MHES office hasn’t specified what exactly spilled. When we know, you’ll know.

Military Tribunal Marches On

Testimony continues to be given, but since we are unable to report on it due to the media blackout we have decided on a different approach. We’ve been contacting various people involved in the tribunal in the hopes of interviewing them after the verdict and getting their take on the events that transpired to bring the tribunal to pass and the verdict itself and how they feel about it. Stick around and you’ll see it all in print!

Commentary by our Managing Editor

It’s nice to see that politicians are finally taking an interest in pollution. Even if it is only those running for the office of the mayor of EUtopia City. Their ideas are things that have been proposed by the ESE, the foundation that I personally founded back in term four. Which is kind of a nice thing, if I really thought any of them had actually READ the literature.

Which I seriously doubt they did. So they managed to come up with it on their own, which is all well and good, I suppose. But had they actually read the literature they would be able to possibly use that information more fully than coming up with it off the cuff during the debates.

I applaud their fervor and ardent desire to do something about the pollution in EUtopia City, but I question how much any of them will really accomplish in office. Especially since in the hot issue poll about issues of concern to citizens the environment was quite a bit down the list, and once into office one might find themselves getting sidetracked by other things and letting the pollution issue unresolved.

Let us all hope that whichever man wins, that he will stay true to his vows about the pollution without going so far as to make commerce and transportation more of a nightmare than it already is.
 

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EUtopian Today Tuesday Edition

MILE Still In Farpoint

MILE Konstantin Vilms is still in Farpoint, but there is a news blackout and therefore there is little to report other than that he is there, somewhere. The EUtopian Today is currently trying to get an interview with both the MILE and Mayor Thorsbeard to tell our readers what is going on there in Farpoint and the W.E.T. in general.

Security Companies Throughout EUtopia Via for Royal Deal

With the “Heart of the Lion Ruby” going to be presented in EUtopia at various museums there is a flurry of activity among the nations security companies trying to gain the upper hand in bidding for the contract to guard the jewels.

This ought to be an interesting development, and whichever company manages to garner the contract will be under a white hot spotlight, the glare of which will either cause their business to bloom, or melt it into oblivion if any problems occur during the exhibition.

One has to wonder why private security firms are bidding on this when it ought to be MILE officers guarding the jewels. It is a laudable concept to allow private enterprise this opportunity but why isn’t the MILE involved? Why aren’t they going to be managing the security for the jewels?

Of course this could all be a smokescreen to put possible thieves off the trail. If so, it is ill advised. Any thieves thinking of stealing these fabulous jewels should SERIOUSLY reconsider it. They can never be pawned, and breaking them up will SEVERELY reduce their value. In essence, keep your paws off of them!

Security for the jewels SHOULD be in the hands of the MILE. Where the best officers available would be guarding them. For any theft would cause a MAJOR international incident that EUtopia can ill afford. EUtopians, one and all, should have the opportunity to view these wonderful jewels, and the jewels should have a safe and trouble free exhibition around the nation.

ETE Falls Apart!

With Mediverri now the party chair it looks like there has been a falling out amongst the party members. A new party has been formed, splitting off from the ETE named the Reactionary Party of EUtopia. Antonio Garibaldi has resigned as editor of El Frente, the ETE newspaper, and followed Robert Johanssen to the RP, along with Fredrick Lascar.

Is this the first sign of the far right splintering under its own weight? Does this signal that the ETE, a quickly built, and now splintered party, will slink quietly into that good night, never to be heard from again? Or will they, phoenix like, rise from the ashes and become stronger than ever. Will the RP take over the leadership position the ETE managed to garner in such a short time, and continue to build upon the resurgence of the far right?

The CC continues to be strong and committed, and their largest supporter, the ETE has now fractured into two parties. One of which, the RP, has no real ties to the CC other than possibly ideology. The seemingly invincible far right is showing remarkable weakness right after conquering not only the Presidency, but the Speakership as well.

Does this give the left a window of opportunity? Only if the RP and ETE continue to engage in a form of internecine warfare, causing the CC to be left out in the cold, even with the power of the Presidency and the Speaker position.

The National Assembly has enough members of the left and the center to possibly keep legislation that is near and dear to their hearts from being reversed, and possibly able to enact legislation that the far right can’t stop due to their splintered situation.

This is an opportunity for both the right and the left, depending on how each side looks at it and whether or not each side chooses to work together or devolve into partisan politics and policies, deadlocking the NA.

With the seemingly fascists views of the ETE, the emergence of the RP might just signal that the far right might just be trying to moderate themselves and show a softer side more acceptable to the left. Or it could just be ideological differences that tore the ETE apart.

Until the RP shows just what they are made of, it will be hard to say whether they are a softer version of the ETE, or a more frighteningly harder version of their former party. Until more is known, it is all guessing on every person’s part.

Nardeo DiCapistrano To Return to EUtopia?

Sources inside the MHES report that the Minister is interested in attempting to bring DiCapistrano back to EUtopia in conjunction with Recycling Day festivities. The famous actor is well known as an environmentalist and even drives a hybrid electric/gasoline powered Toyota.

When asked by the EUtopian Today to state his reasons for asking DiCapistrano to the Recycling Day, Minister Al’Aeshir had this to say:

“He’s very passionate about the environment. Did you know he actually OWNS forests on five continents to preserve them from exploitation? I think his fame and charisma will help make Recycling Day a big success. He is a beloved figure throughout the world, and most especially in EUtopia. His one film, You’ll Never Catch Me had huge box office success here.

He’ll bring out quite a few people to the event and hopefully he can help us educate the people on the good recycling can and will do for EUtopia as a whole. Not just for the individual, but for business as well.”

If DiCapistrano does return to EUtopia, it is very likely the minister is right that the Recycling Day festivities will be VERY well attended.

WHO submits report to MHES

Doctor Shund and her staff have been to Hurteau and have a report that has sent the MHES into raptures apparently. The WHO managed to track back the disease, which they have dubbed Hurteau Fever, and have suggested ways to eradicate the disease for the moment.

It also stated that the living conditions of the Western Saharans are deplorable and are a direct result of the disease exploding into the epidemic that it became. Another interesting fact of the report is that Anglos are the most susceptible, while the Western Saharans are basically immune, with the those who are of latin extraction, Norse, Topa, and African are less prone to the disease.

Apparently the initial work by Doc Rivers of EUtopia City General Hospital has allowed the WHO to work with him in developing a more potent and seemingly permanent cure for it. But in the opinion of this newspaper, unless the living conditions of the Western Saharans improve it is quite likely that some other kind of outbreak will occur at some point in the future.

Therefore we call upon the government to do something about the living conditions of those poor benighted people and keep this from ever happening again. Better housing and plumbing will be a huge step in the right direction, for one thing. And we here at the EUtopian Today implore the government to do something soon!


Lundgren Named Deputy Speaker

After nearly committing a faux pas by trying to name either Langley or Robertsson as Deputy Speaker, Speaker Martinez reverses his decision and proclaims Michael Lundgren Deputy Speaker. Firmly nailing shut the coffin lid on any hopes of Bram Borgman being Deputy Speaker for another term.

Commander Stewart Arrested!

Commander Stewart, prominent member of the DA, and MoNA, was arrested when he somehow managed to find the secret military stockade that Vice Admiral Tulp and Brigadier General Haynes had been kept prior to the tribunal. Which seems harsh, but with the military jumpy due to the various coup attempts and the tribunal is not really all that surprising.

Why did Stewart do such a thing? Nobody knows for now, but perhaps a phone call routed through the military channels might bring an answer. This newspaper will attempt to contact him through such channels and try to find out what he was thinking.
 

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Perhaps I should warn you. This paper recently said my column was "funny [and] irreverent" and that they expected more of the same. Don't. Each one will be different; I want to surprise the reader each time. Not to mention, persuade them. -The Author

Got a Money Problem? Throw Money at it

Such is the apparent philosophy of Patric Connel, who proposed in the mayoral debates that EUtopia City should try to host the Olympics in order to make money.

It's good on paper. Olympics brings media attention and tourism. Plus, every decent athlete and every sports announcer on the planet will be taking hotel rooms, stopping at restaurants, paying cabbies, buying little EUtopian teddy bear souvenirs, and so on.

But hold on a sec! The question was how they'd pay for reforms. The answer (in Mr. Connel's case) was host the Olympics. Which raises the obvious question:

HOW WILL YOU PAY FOR THE OLYMPICS IF YOU CAN'T AFFORD ANYTHING ALREADY?

Think about it! You have to get all kinds of sports arenas--you can't use Violators Stadium for every event--plus the "Athlete Village" or whatever, not to mention civic improvements, and you'll have to pay for the marketing campaign to try and get the Olympics! And that doesn't include the millions of ducats in bribes you'll have to give the International Olympic Committee for them to even consider you.

That's a bad idea. Pay zillions of bucks to get the Olympics to come here, and then wait for the zillions to return. By the time you pay off the expenses, the market will be slowing down again. You know how much Sydney, Australia spent on the 2000 Olympics?
...the latest version of the Olympic budget which shows an expenditure of $1,697 million...
That's a bit much.

Good luck trying to fill a deficit with negative one billion dollars, Mr. Connel!

C.S.M.
 

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The EUtopian Today Wednesday Edition

ESE Wakes Up

After a lengthy period of seeming inactivity, the chairman has put out a call to the ESE members throughout the nation to band together and rally to the cause of Recycling Day which some members of the government would like to see repealed. Which is kind of silly, since the cost to the government is really quite minimal in actuality.

The information that will be provided to citizens is going to be coming from the ESE itself, and they, along with recycling industry leaders will be placing booths and helping to educate the citizens. Where is the downside to this?

Is it possible that these government people are unaware of the benefits of recycling? Or do they just not care? The ability to reduce the pressure on the nation’s dumps would be greatly softened and being able to reuse plastic, metal, and the many other recyclable materials would make manufacturing things like plastic cups, aluminum cans, automobiles, and the many sundry items we take for granted every day cheaper which would mean LOWER prices for the average EUtopian citizen.

Companies would be able to lower costs, lower prices somewhat and still increase profits. Which is good for business. Where is the downside to that? Or do lawmakers and ministers believe that it is better to choke our landfills with trash that can be reused and reduce our dependence on importing materials and goods.

How can they be so blind? Are they pro pollution of our precious environment that we all have to live in? Do they prefer that we live in a nation so backward that we don’t wish to recycle or live in a nation that has clean air and clean water. Do they realize that landfills can leak their contents into the water table of the nation? If they don’t, they must be drinking bottled water and apparently don’t care about the hundreds of thousands who can’t afford to purchase bottled water.

Batteries leak acid into the water table. Batteries can be recycled, the metal portions of them, and the acid neutralized so that it doesn’t pollute the water table of our fair land. So many things could and should be recycled. Why aren’t we doing it on a nation wide scale? EUtopia Recycling is the only known recycling company at this time. They are slowly expanding their reach throughout the nation, but there should be OTHER companies doing the same thing. Right now there is a single company recycler, which constitutes a monopoly of sorts.

Should more companies get involved in this enterprise? You bet there should! Yet there is not a single one out there! Is anyone else going to do something about our environment other than one company? Is anyone else BRAVE enough to get involved with recycling?

The Environment, Does Anyone Really Care?

On a related note, EUtopia Energy is the only company that outright states they are environmentally friendly. Others spew out thousands of tons of toxins, EVERY DAY! There are no laws to protect the average citizen from this monstrous state of affairs.

This is never going to change unless lawmakers in the National Assembly, from ALL parties, along with the cabinet and the President, get together and work together to pass laws that would limit the amount of pollution spewed into the air and waterways of our fair land.

Ever since the Industrial Revolution managed to crawl, gasping and trembling, onto the shores of EUtopia nothing has changed. The monarchy did nothing to protect the environment. We are now into term six of the republic and what has changed? Still no laws protecting the environment.

Have any actually EVER been proposed, let alone introduced onto the floor of the National Assembly? Even though the latest polls state that the environment is not one of the largest hot button issues, what does that really mean? It means nobody hardly bothers to bring it up. People have stopped hoping that something will be done.

During term four the ESE started talking about the environment, and did garner some support from some politicians. But they made a tactical error. The ESE didn’t get any legislation passed other than the Recycling Day bill, which is in danger. No air pollution laws, no clean waterway laws, no laws against dumping toxins willy nilly with no real legal consequences.

This is wrong! It isn’t right! We, as citizens of EUtopia, should demand action on the part of our legislators and President to enact laws that protect our air and water and land from pollution and the raping of the land to extract mineral wealth without returning the land to as close to the original state it was in prior to mining, logging, et al.

What can you, the average citizen of EUtopia do? Call your National Assembly representative. Call the cabinet members, the President, your local mayor. Let them know that you want environmental laws enacted to protect you! The average citizen of this nation. You pay taxes, you vote. You should have a say about this. Don’t just sit there and expect the politicians to do anything for you unless you demand that they do something.

Until now they have shown no real interest in doing anything about the environment. How long will you wait? Until you can’t go outside without a special mask to protect you from the pollution that has gotten so bad that to breath the air would cause you to die? To be unable to drink the water pouring into your homes because to do so will cause you to contract e coli and other unpleasant things including pollutants that have contaminated the water?

To be unable to eat the fruit and vegetables grown in our own country because they are laced with contaminants making it ill advised to eat because it might KILL you. So your expenses become quite prohibitive when you have to buy all your food grown and raised in other nations. Drink water from other nations in bottles because you can’t drink the water here in EUtopia.

So what does that leave you? Eating food and drinking water from other nations. The inability to breath the air outside of your home because you could die. So what do you do? You act NOW! Before it gets to the point just described! So do something! Call now! Before it is too late! If not just for yourself, but for your children, and your children’s children!

In fact, you should call your local power company and ask them why they aren’t using modern air scrubbers or methods that reduce emissions into the air and water. Ask them where all their profits are going. Ask them why they feel it is okay to destroy the environment that everyone in EUtopia has to live in.

Ask that smoker next to you if he or she realizes that they are not only slowly killing themselves but taking everyone else around them with them. Ask them if they really know what they are doing to themselves and the people around them. If they do, ask them if it is because they just don’t care. Ask them if they realize that they are also harming the environment. Do they care? If not, move away from them and ask your government to outlaw smoking.

Ask? Excuse me, DEMAND that they do something. Now!
 

Amric

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The EUtopian Today Thursday Edition

Rebecca Cook Leaves EUtopia!

Former CRE member and current DA member Rebecca Cook announced to her fellow party members that she is leaving EUtopia for awhile. She didn’t discuss her reasons for doing so, and so speculation is rampant.

She is also the founder of the EUtopia Homosexual Association and the most prominent female leader in EUtopia. With her leaving our fair island the women’s movement lost their most important member. The EHA will undoubtedly be in chaos until a new leader can be chosen and gather the reins of power.

But even more importantly, she has left her rabid constituents in the lurch. With her sudden decision to leave the island a new MoNA will have to be appointed by acting party chairman Vasco IKK.

Add Commander Stewart’s recent arrest and the continuing disappearance of Dr. Glasser the DA suddenly seems to be cracking at the seams. Vasco IKK will be taking over Dr. Glasser’s seat in the NA, and probably Per Al’Aeshir to take Miss Cook’s seat. Which is somewhat ironic, considering he resigned his seat in favor of Michael von Struesser of the CRP in support of the CRP-DA-ESRP coalition.

Let us not forget also that the military has been very eager to get their hands on Miss Cook since the middle of term five due to her altercation with a military officer in Farpoint which landed her in jail. With the tribunal of Vice Admiral Tulp and Brigadier General Haynes and the recent arrest of Commander Stewart she might have decided to leave our fair island until things cool down for fear of being rearrested and tried. Will we ever know for sure?

The women’s movement has taken a severe blow now, and whether it will recover or not is unknown. The EUtopian Today considers it unlikely, and that the male dominated parties of EUtopia will continue to reign supreme for the not inconsiderable future.

Something else to consider is that Miss Cook was also Deputy MHES. Her leaving will leave a gaping hole in that ministry that Per Al’Aeshir will be hard pressed to fill. Especially considering the difficulties he historically has had attracting Deputies in the past.

Per Al’Aeshir had this comment about Miss Cook:

“It is a sad day for EUtopia. For the EHA, the DA, the NA, and the MHES. I will feel her loss quite personally as she was intimately involved in attempting to create women’s and children’s hospitals in EUtopia. She and I first met in term four during a riot at the EHA headquarters and became friends over the next terms even though we were of two different parties. Then she joined the DA, and now she is gone. I wish her well, and hope that she will return soon.”

The EUtopian Today wishes her well, and many EUtopians will miss her.

Interviews Sought With Various Ministers and the President

The EUtopian Today has asked the MILE, the MDIA, the MTEF, the MECT, the MHES, and our President for interviews by this newspaper. We hope they agree as it will help educate and inform our growing readership.

The MILE has been in the W.E.T. and there is great interest in what is going on there, while with all the military instability there are questions begging to be answered by the MDIA. The economy, the WTO are the hot button issues, as well as the budget for the MTEF.

The President? Well, think about it! Questions galore and hopefully the candid answers EUtopians have come to expect from our leader.


Season Opener for EUtopian Firearms Association

Captain Roberto Martinez, newly elected Speaker, has started a new organization known has the EUtopian Firearms Association, which is quite reminiscent of the US National Riflemen Association. In a rather unusual appeal from a card carrying member of the right is that the only requirement for membership is a dedication to the cause.

What is this cause? Responsible and safe use of firearms. And to agree to use firearms in limits of EUtopian laws. Which seems to be it. That is all this group seems to be a proponent of, which is about as basic as it can get. They claim not to be a paramilitary organization.

Well, Captain Martinez seems to be an honorable man, as far as that goes. So he may not be using the EFA as such, but will his members in the group take that to heart or will they try to become a paramilitary type unit behind his back? So far, Martinez is the only member, but this is likely to change quickly.

Which could change the makeup of the Association.

Exclusive Interview with the MHES

Tomorrow’s edition will have the entire, exclusive interview with the Minister of Health, Environment, and Social Services Amric Al’Aeshir. Having served as such since the tail end of term four, he has now been serving five Presidents. O’Floinn, Langley, Glasser, IKK, and Talbott. Which is a lot of turnover at the top for only three terms.

We’re going to talk to him about a variety of subjects, so don’t miss tomorrow’s issue!
 

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The Assembly Line

Well, the National Assembly has begun its work with a bang. So far frenzied excitement has...

I'm sorry; I don't know what I'm talking about. So far the National Assembly has begun its work with a fart. Its newly elected Speaker, Roberto Martinez, showed off his political savviness by appointing not one but two Ministers to the Deputy Speaker position before realizing the Constitution bans them from being Deputy Speakers. Apparently he was not aware that MTEF Jacob Langley and MECT Antoine de Raph were appointed.

Think about that! The next-in-line to the next-in-line for the Presidency, the third most important guy in the country... doesn't read the news and doesn't keep track of the government.

Yikes!

However, Captain Martinez is a virtuosic public servant compared to Bram Borgman, the old (Acting) Speaker. Mr. Borgman does not deserve to be in the Assembly at all. It was his partisanship which allowed him to prevent votes on any legislation he didn't like. It took two Members of the Assembly throwing hissy fits to get a vote on my WTO Bill (which was originally proposed in Term Three), and Mr. Langley's firearms bill was never voted on last term even though it was ready for passage any minute.

Thank God we don't have an obstructor of due process in office anymore, at least not yet. And Michael Lundgren is a welcome Deputy Speaker, because he proves that Jacob Lundgren was not Speaker for Life: he was Speaker for This Life and Also the Afterlife.

And Jacob Langley has thrown in two good bills which might actually get voted on, now that a non-socialist is managing voting. Professor Talbott has made his speech and offered a solution to the "organ crisis".

Now it's up to the rest of the Assembly to wake up and legislate. It's been days already, and only one or two members have said anything worth it. Thank God for democracy.
 

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The EUtopian Today Friday Edition

Interview with MHES Amric Al'Aeshir

Thank you for allowing us this opportunity to speak to you.

Amric Al’Aeshir: No problem, I’m sure there are a lot of questions that you have that would be of interest to the readers of this paper. Fire away!

ET: Thank you, Minister. I’ll go ahead and start then.

AA: I’m ready.

ET: With the recent findings from the WHO, do you feel justified in the actions you have taken to combat the disease known as Hurteau Fever?

AA: Absolutely. The CDC in the United States has always been quick to respond to such things, and I felt that as MHES I could do no less. In some nations, such as China, SARS got almost completely out of control before it was finally contained. I felt that it would be irresponsible of me to not act quickly and decisively.

My only regret is not acting sooner about the infected fruit. Yes, it was harmful to the growers and grocers in the short term, but it had to be done to help slow the spread of the disease. I did convince President IKK to reimburse the growers and grocers for their losses, however. So they were taken care of in the end.

The WHO, in the form of Doctor Shund and her staff were invaluable in making a cure a reality sooner than might have been possible with just the limited resources of EUtopian medicine. I would really like to fully modernize and streamline our health care by concentrating researchers into various locations so that they can work together more efficiently with modern equipment.

I’d also like to have more modern equipment, such as portable cardio pulmonary machines for use by emergency response technicians so that more EUtopians suffering will get the best care possible.

ET: You came into office during term four after the disappearance of Minister Fitzpatrick. Do you feel you have done a good job since then?

AA: I’d like to think so. But there are things I wish I could have accomplished that I haven’t managed yet. But I am still minister, so I suppose I might get it done at some point.

ET: You started off as the chairman of the ESE and then as an Advisor to the MHES for the environment. Do you feel you have betrayed your environmental roots?

AA: Funny you should ask that. In some ways I feel I have done just that, to be honest. I have been so focused on health issues, and the locust migration, that in some ways I feel I haven’t lived up fully to my responsibilities as an environmentalist. I regret that in some ways, but as MHES I have a responsibility to the people and especially during term five that meant focusing pretty exclusively on health.

ET: So far you have been almost solely focused on health issues. Is that likely to continue?

AA: As I stated before I am going to try to rectify that. I’d like to work with the President and the NA in trying to get some environmental legislation enacted so that EUtopians can feel free to drink the water, breath the air, and not have to fear for their children about lead based paint and asbestos.


ET: What environmental initiatives are you going to promote or suggest during this term?

AA: I’d like to get a clean air bill passed, and a clean water bill passed. I’d like to have antipollution laws passed that would severely limit the amounts of pollution that power companies and other corporations spew out into the atmosphere and into our waterways.

ET: You have been working with President Talbott on a new initiative about organ and tissue donations. How is that progressing?

AA: Unfortunately it is going to require changing the current law on organ and tissue donation. President Talbott has drafted a bill that I am currently reviewing that we both hope will address this issue and make it easier for such donations to occur and hopefully save many EUtopian lives.

ET: You and the now missing Rebecca Cook were talking about developing women and children’s hospitals. Is there any chance of such actually happening?

AA: I had high hopes, as she was supposed to spearhead this initiative. But with her suddenly leaving EUtopia it might not get done this term. Researching such is a long drawn out process and with the current economic situation unless I can prove it would be economically feasible, and in fact CHEAPER to have such facilities it is not likely to happen any time soon. Which is unfortunate, but economic realities have to be accepted some times, even when it makes things more difficult.

ET: You were blasted last term by ESE loyalists as selling out when you went golfing with former President O’Floinn at his golf course. How do you respond to such allegations?

AA: First of all, I have known John for awhile now. I believe he was using environmentally proven technology and environmentally friendly herbicides and other things to make an environmentally friendly golf course. Or at least one that could be as close as possible to one.

We are friends and were having a friendly game of golf. Does doing so mean I am betraying the environment? No. You may not realize it, but John O’Floinn is a supporter of the ESE, just as former President IKK is a supporter of the ESE. John isn’t about to consciously harm the environment.

John is a good man, and a friend of mine. That is pretty much all I have to say on that subject. Next question.

ET: You’ve recently suggested that Nardeo DiCapistrano might be a good speaker during the Recycling Day/Environment Day for June 5th. What is your reasoning for this?

AA: DiCapistrano is a well known environmentalist and actually owns forests on five continents to help protect the environment and the various endangered flora and fauna that are found in those forests.

He is a well known actor as well, and a EUtopian to boot. He will draw in quite a few people to listen and see the advantages of recycling and his help might just make convincing people of the necessity and the good sense that recycling is, not only to the environment, but to lower costs for manufacturing goods as so many goods are imported and having the ability to manufacture things in EUtopia would be a boon to the economy.

Especially if we can do it far cheaper than importing everything from diapers to automobiles. Being able to use recycled materials would very much help lower costs for EUtopian manufacturers, making them VERY competitive on the world market, let alone the EUtopian market.

ET: Social Services as a division of the MHES seems to have been neglected. How do you answer those charges?

AA: In a way, I would have to say I am guilty of that. Social Services are being provided to EUtopians all over the country, but there should be a study on how effective it is and how it could be streamlined and made more efficient to help cut costs and improve service.

ET: There has been talk of privatizing Recom. What are your feelings about that?

AA: It really isn’t a company. It is an MHES division that oversees the use of the land. Basically mining and logging companies pay Recom to harvest the natural resources of EUtopia. It is also supposed to try and alleviate the pollution involved with those industries, but there are no laws that can be enforced to minimize pollution, which is unfortunate.

There really isn’t a way to privatize Recom, so I really am not all that concerned.

ET: There has also been discussions in privatizing Omnicare. What do you think about that?

AA: Well, now that is a different animal than Recom. Omnicare provides insurance of many types to the citizens of EUtopia. Would it be better to break it up and make it into many different companies that promote competition and fair market pricing? Some would say yes, and in some ways I would have to agree.

The government of EUtopia really shouldn’t be in the insurance business in my opinion. The times of the EUtopian government being able to be all things to all people are over. We can no longer afford to give the people everything.

We’re running a rather hefty deficit and costs MUST be cut, or the government will no longer be able to afford to provide ANY services to the people, such as health care, law enforcement and so forth. Personally I think health care and law enforcement might just be a TAD more important than Omnicare.

I know most ministers would fight tooth and nail to ensure no part of their ministry is taken away from them. But by selling off Omnicare in a way that would enable numerous companies to provide insurance to EUtopians and promote healthy competition will do two things. Bring in much needed cash to the government, and create a new industry that will provide more jobs and therefore help the economy.

ET: More jobs? How is that?

AA: You have to remember that Omnicare, like most government offices is VERY centralized and moribund. By spreading it out all over EUtopia there would be competing companies in every province rather than just in EUtopia City. All those companies will need people to run those numerous offices. More people than are used in just the central EUtopia City office.

Therefore, more jobs. New companies with more workers is a boon for the economy and therefore good. Simple as that.

ET: You’ve been a chairman for the ESE, a Minister for two and a half terms, a MoNA last term, and you now own a recycling company, an energy company, and a newspaper. Any plans for higher public office, or starting other companies?

AA: Higher public office? Like President? No thank you. I respect the insanity, er, dedication of those who wish to serve the nation’s people in the capacity of being President. But I don’t feel that is the direction my life is going to take. At least not for now.

As for other companies? I have no intentions right now of founding any more companies. What I have is going to keep me very busy along with my work as a minister.

ET: With Dr. Glasser gone, and now Rebecca Cook, it looks like you are going to have to take a seat in the NA. You were elected to office and then gave it away to Michael von Streusser. Why?

AA: Why resign my seat to Michael? Because he is part of our coalition and I felt that he deserved a seat in the national assembly. He deserved a seat, and I was happy enough to do my part for my party and the coalition.

As for Glasser and Cook. Well Vasco IKK will be taking Dr. Glasser’s place in the NA soon. I suppose if Miss Cook doesn’t return to EUtopia soon, I will have no choice but to take her seat as well, unless Markus Wamo takes it.

ET: What about Commander Stewart’s seat in the NA?

AA: Meaning what? Exactly.

ET: He’s in jail. How can he serve in the NA if he is incarcerated?

AA: I’m not the party chairman, and it isn’t my decision as to what is going to happen in that instance. I keep having people think I have more influence in the party and the coalition than I really do. It’s rather ironic, when you think about it.

ET: Ironic? How so?

Think about it. This is the same coalition that has two former Presidents, one of whom is Attorney General. Bram Borgman has been Deputy Speaker for five terms. Michael von Struesser has been MTEF for so long it was a shock when he wasn’t. Josephus Locke has been a stalwart in the ESRP for so long that everyone in EUtopia knows who he is.

Von Struesser, Stewart, Cook, Glasser, Locke, and Borgman are MoNA’s. O’Floinn is AG, and I am the MHES. Glasser was Speaker last term. Plus von Struesser is Deputy MTEF as well. Plenty of leadership in this coalition, believe me. Even with the loss of Glasser and Cook there is leadership galore.

ET: I see what you mean. Thank you for your time Minister.

AA: You are quite welcome.
 

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The EUtopian Today Saturday Edition

Bill of Rights Group Returns From Hiatus

After the elections and apparently having had a vacation the group has started work again, with Ministers Vilms and Al’Aeshir, along with President Talbott all agreeing on small portions of the proposed bill.

Hawkton J. Tilly, the leader of the group, also agreed in the end and the group continues to do good work, with animated discussion and no degeneration into partisan politics. Something that has been amazingly lacking during the entire time of its existence, which is unusual when a group of politicians get together from widely divergent ideologies.

When you think about it closely, other than the Constitutional Group, it is extremely rare for the various parties to work together so closely without some kind of friction and ideological diatribe from more voluble and extreme party members. How good is Tilly, really? Apparently good enough to keep such to nearly nonexistence.

President Talbott Proposes Organ Donor Bill

In response to the growing crisis with organ and tissue donations, the President crafted a bill and first showed it to the cabinet, including Minister Al’Aeshir, who gave his blessing wholeheartedly.

It was immediately questioned as to why blood donations were not included in the bill. When called by EUtopian Today, Minister Al’Aeshir had this to say:

“I suppose one COULD call it an oversight in the bill. I hadn’t myself considered that ramification, since blood donations are down, but can be brought back into line if people would just donate. The current way of getting organ and tissue donations is antiquated and very difficult to use.

President Talbott approached me about this issue, crafted a bill which I endorsed, and presented it to the NA. Should blood donation be added to the bill? I suppose it could be, and I would personally have no problem with that, if that is what ends up happening.”

So here is the question for our readers. What do you think of this bill? And do you think blood donations should be included within it?

Interview with Vice President and MDIA Adam Julseau

Minister Julseau, thank you for taking the time for this interview.

Adam Julseau: Not a problem.

ET: Let’s start then.

ET: With the recent spat of military malfeasance such as coup attempts that have rocked EUtopia lately, what do you think needs to be done to restore confidence in our military?

AJ: I plan to make soldiers choose between a political and military career. To this day I wonder how soldiers can maintain their duties being MoNA or ministers at the same time.

ET: With all the outdated equipment the military currently uses, how quickly do you truly foresee being able to bring them more up to date, equipment wise?

AJ: Rearming our Armed Forces will take many years. EUtopia doesn't have the means to buy all the new shining equipment all at once. We will have to do it in turns.

ET: A corollary to the previous question: How much do you think it will cost, and how long do you anticipate it being before the military is rearmed properly?

AJ: Military equipment is really expensive. But this government has it's priorities. We are ready to give the military as much money as it needs in order to have it back in form in the near future.

ET: What do you think will need to be done to fix EUtopia’s tarnished image vis a vis the rest of the world, most especially the US and Europe?

AJ: We need to prove that EUtopia is a country governed by wise people that has it's roots in the same political systems of the Old and New World. We also need to show we are capable of dealing with our own problems.

ET: Do you believe EUtopia joining the WTO will do much to help EUtopia’s image in Europe and the US?

AJ: Joining the WTO? Why not. Though I don't always look at national events through a prism of pleasing the US.

ET: Do you believe we need extradition treaties so that if criminals leave EUtopia they can be brought back to face justice?

AJ: Extradition treaties would ease a lot of diplomatic tension.

ET: Do you find being MDIA as well as Vice President a strain on your time and resources? How do you manage to juggle the two offices so that neither one is being neglected?

AJ: No, the main duty of the VP is to be around when the President is not. Though I had to resign from party leadership because the job of MDIA is tenious enough.

ET: Foreign Policy has been a real struggle for EUtopia for quite some time. Do you think you can forge alliances with other nations? Not necessarily military alliances, for that is another question.

AJ: Yes. I think I will do a better job than my predecessors, who I have to say were quite clumsy in their dealings.

ET: Do you feel that EUtopia needs to be in some kind of military alliance to help secure her sovereignty.

AJ: EUtopia doesn't necessarily need to be in an alliance though it needs to show the world it is ready to come with help in times of crisis. We must be known in the international arena to build up our prestige. We need close friends, we need a powerful ally but I don't think joining NATO should be a priority.

ET: How do you feel about the recent American invasion of Farpoint, and do you think it was justified?

AJ: Yes. American bases rely on local authorities to defend their bases. If we couldn't they had to do it themselves.

ET: Do you feel the EUtopian military performed adequately during that crisis, or do you feel something more should have been done?

AJ: Our soldiers did a good job but they could've done it better if they were better equipped and trained.

ET: Do you feel your past, especially during term one, will make doing the job of MDIA, most particularly with other nations, more difficult?

AJ: No, I was not allowed specially allowed to fulfill my duties in term 1.

ET: Do you think having cultural exchanges with other nations might raise the level of awareness among them about EUtopia, and that it might make things easier for you as MDIA? Would you be in favor of such?

AJ: These actions don't fall in the jurisdiction of the MDIA though I must say that supporting and organising such actions (lead by private initiative, ofcourse) is a very good idea.

ET: Do you have specific goals in mind for your term of office?

AJ: I want to implement my program and show EUtopia that the CC cares more about it than maintaining power. In the history of EUtopian politics I was always the one trying to keep the CC out of any shady political dealings and alliances. Finally the CC started campaigning on its own and we were successful just like I predicted.
 

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The EUtopian Today Sunday Edition

Langley Lobbyist Group Breaks Out of Their Torpor

Suddenly the LLG which is doing a study on Foreign Policy started actually WORKING! Apparently the sudden resurgence with the Bill of Rights Group got this one going again. It’s about time! With Ministers Vilms, Langley, and Al’Aeshir suddenly working, and Charles Morgan, our very own commentator, suddenly showing a flurry of activity. Wonderful. Simply wonderful.

Now will they actually get anything done? Will there be some solid recommendations coming from them that the government can and/or will use to help develop a more coherent Foreign Policy.

Langley, as MTEF, has some power to affect what the government does, as he has control over the budget. Vilms, as the MILE, also has a say as it will be his law enforcement people who will be in charge of protecting tourists if that part of the ideas being thrown about gets a nod.

Al’Aeshir is somewhat a puzzling choice for this group. As MHES, he really has no say on Foreign Policy, nor does he have any real experience with anything close to it. Whether he is actually influential in government? Well, in some circles he is considered QUITE influential, while in others he is considered an upstart. Just how much influence he has is still really a mystery, but he is involved with this group and the Bill of Rights group.

Charles Morgan, on the other hand, is NOT a mystery. The elder statesman of this very newspaper, a former publisher and one time MDIA his choice to be on this panel is obvious. His political savvy, contacts, and his experience will all be brought to bear and his inclusion is a coup for this group. His ability to help create possible new foreign policy can only help this group.

A notable person NOT included in this group is current MDIA Adam Jones Julseau. Since he is the current MDIA, his influence and advice could be quite useful in crafting policy that could be acted on almost immediately as he is not only the MDIA, he is the Vice President of EUtopia. The only way to be higher is to be President.

There are others, such as Attorney General John O’Floinn who have not really been heard from and there are those wondering why he is waiting to speak up. Others have also not been vocal either, and there is back room talk as to whether they will make contributions or stay strangely silent.


NA Already Drifting

President Talbott proposed a bill, it was immediately blasted by Speaker Martinez for not having blood donation on it, and then what happened? Deputy Speaker Michael Lundgren started in about armed forces reform! Instead of keeping on track with the bill being proposed, the young Deputy Speaker starts in on a totally different topic of discussion. To add insult to injury, Jake Langley continues the discussion in yet ANOTHER direction by re proposing the Firearms Bill that died on the floor last term with some minor modifications!

Michael, being young can possibly be excused for stepping right on the bill being proposed by the President. But Jake knows better. Speaker Martinez is already showing some weakness by not keeping a tight rein on the assembly by allowing this rambling to occur rather than staying on topic and pushing through some rather desperately needed legislation such as the organ and tissue donation bill.

People are being allowed to DIE because the current law is incapable of being flexible enough to be truly effective or useful. The Talbott bill would make organ and tissue donation ever so much easier and efficient. Yet what is happening? Nothing but two completely different discussions that should be done in TURN, keeping the bill proposal process more streamlined.

Should there be debate on the Talbott bill? Absolutely. But debate it! Don’t ignore it! Get together, talk it over, and then vote on it. It really isn’t that difficult to do, members of the National Assembly. Put aside your agendas and look toward helping your fellow EUtopians on a dire crisis that faces all of us. How quickly would you act if there was someone you loved who needed a heart or liver, NOW? Not weeks later, but right this very minute? And they died on the table because you were too busy screwing around in the NA instead of working together efficiently.

Get with it! If you readers agree with us, write us and let us know<OOC: Obviously via PM in a letter to the editor>.

Interview with MTEF Jacob Langley

Thank you for granting this interview, Minister Langley. Shall we get started?

Jake Langley: You are quite welcome, and by all means let’s start.



ET: How has EUtopia’s sagging economy affected the growth and creation of small businesses?

JL: Potential entrepreneurs are scared off of EUtopia right now. The shaky economy, the lack of a government budget, the perception of political instability, they all add up to make EUtopia seem like a risky place to start a business.

ET: What are the biggest challenges facing small businesses right now?

JL: The lack of demand and/or disposable income. As people are laid off or have their hours cut back, they have to be more careful with their spending. This leads to less consumption and then companies embark on another round of labor cuts. So it becomes a cycle. Small business is even more at risk, because they do not have the capital to sustain any type of long term non-profitability.

ET: What should change in the economic or regulatory environment to improve the success of small businesses?

JL: Small business growth won't pick up until the economy as a whole picks up. Most small businesses either depend on sales from large corporations or purchase their supplies and/or goods from a large corporations. As corporations are cutting back orders or service, small businesses are affected.

When the big companies start to grow, that is where the opportunity for small businessmen arises.

ET: With businesses failing seemingly left and right, what can be done to help boost start up companies?

JL: Small start up companies are going to struggle in a sagging economic environment. Short of subsidization, which is not a wise route, there is little the government can do to directly keep small businesses afloat.

What the government can do is put policies in place that make EUtopia look better to investors and businessmen, both foreign and domestic. Start up loans, or matching government funds for certain high potential industries is one way. Favorable tax cuts can also provide incentive. Plus just be providing political and economic stability, the government can improve the perception of EUtopia.

ET: There has been talk about low interest loans, or grants, and even tax breaks to entice companies to relocate here, but what about offering such to start up companies forming right here in EUtopia?

JL: These policies are not aimed at big business or small business, foreign investors or domestic ones. These policies are aimed at the industry as a whole. ESHTA had no minimum threshold. It was an open policy in a specific industry designed to bring in new business, either start up companies or relocated companies. Any similar stimulation packages would most likely be the same.

ET: Again with the spectacular closings of some large companies, and the massive downsizing in others, what can be done to help people who might want to start their own business?

JL: Get the economy back on track, and provide the necessary support and infrastructure to maintain long term growth.

ET: The recent coal deal with the US, do you think it will really do much to revitalize the economy for the long term?

JL: Long term? Not really. It is a two term deal that puts our coal workers back to work. We still need to diversify the economy, but this is a short term solution that also provides us with the funds to begin the process of diversifying.

ET: The WTO is a big step for EUtopia. How do you feel it will benefit EUtopia?

JL: I've been a very vocal opponent of the WTO, but there are certainly some potential benefits. First off, we would be protected from the dumping of subsidized Canadian lumber into our markets. The WTO would open up new markets for EUtopian businesses. Plus it would integrate our nation into the international community.

ET: Do you see a downside for joining the WTO?

JL: Frankly, I'm not personally sure if EUtopia is ready for the WTO. We would face serious competition on logging, mining, agriculture, and fishing from places do not have the same labor standards we do. Yet, those 4 industries are currently the foundation of the EUtopian economy. The coal deal will certainly buffer the mining industry for a few terms, but unless we diversify our economy, we may be priced out of our main fields by international competition.

ET: The budget. You’ve spoken candidly about the need for cutting quite a bit of the budget. What do you see as essential to remove from the budget to return the EUtopian government to economic health?

JL: Some of our nationalized companies are near the top of the list. Maritcon has suffered from inept management and burdensome government regulations due to its status as a nationalized corporation. Omnicare drains 12 billion in subsidies for non medical insurance coverage that the private sector can easily handle and probably provide better service.

Wasteful or repetitive government spending is another area. Our overall administration of government affairs could be cut by half a billion ducats without a loss in service. Beyond that, there are a few items in the budget that lack definition and may not be best place to invest the tax ducats of working EUtopians. My office is investigating several of those items, and will be making a recommendation based on our findings.

ET: Thank you, Minister Langley. It was a fascinating interview and I think our readers will appreciate your candor.

JL: You are welcome.



Letter to the Editor:

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I read with interest your coverage of Per Cook's departure from Eutopia. It is well known that

your publisher, Per Al'Aeshir, had taken Cook under his wing and mentored her through the

political process. Given that, I thought your coverage was fairly balanced, but I think you let

her off easy on some fairly disturbing issues.

As a former member of the National Assembly, Cook never left her activist roots. In some ways

this could be praised, but in others it was in appropriate. Her actions in Farpoint were

undeniably a criminal action, pelting those she disagreed with with rocks and urging her

supporters to do the same. Only tear gas and MILE intervention prevented serious bloodshed. Her

further contempt for authority was witnessed as she assaulted two members of the military.

For one crime she was released on bail and put on probation with the understanding she would

behave more responsibly and appropriate for one of her position. Not days after she was released

she interfered with military operations and again turned to violence.

It is no secret that members of our organization were no fans of Per Cook, but violence begets

violence. No matter how much the editorial staff of this paper may support her controversial

positions it is irresponsible not to condemn her actions.

A civilized society has healthy dissent, and it may get spirited at times. But when it turns to

violence, and in our opinion rash and unjustifiable violence as Per Cook exhibited, society turns

to barbarism. You cannot condemn the extremes of the rightwing and turn a blind eye those of the

left. At least, you cannot do so and maintain credibility.

The Soliders of God, as an organization, were led by a man named Charles DeSpirit who eschewed

violence and taught us that by our rational and responsible example we would win support. He was

gunned down in cold blood by political opponents.

Our members are not saddened that Per Cook has left Eutopia. We are saddened though that you have

felt obligated to portray her as a role-model, when her violent behavior is clearly not a

positive example for our children.

Sincerely,

Kurt Wagster
Eutopian Soliders of God

Reply:

Per Wagner,

It is good to know that you have been reading our newspaper. As for why we here held her up as a role model is that she was the highest profile female politician in EUtopia. Did she have a violent aspect to her character? Yes, she did. She was passionate about what she believed in, and I respect that. I also told her personally that violence was not the answer, but she chose her path.

As for bringing her under my wing, as it were, she was a politician in EUtopia before I ever came to the island, in all honesty. I suppose in a way, I did advise her in some ways, but that may be because I am older than she is and she might have seen me as an older brother or father like figure.

I never asked her, so I have no way of knowing if my theory is correct. However, in spite of her faults, she was an influential member of the National Assembly, the CRE, an advocate of homosexuals rights, women's rights, and a standard held up to many women in EUtopia.

I thank you for your letter and appreciate your point of view.

Sincerely,
Amric Al'Aeshir
Managing Editor
 

Amric

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The EUtopian Today Monday Edition

Interview with Speaker Martinez
Thank you, Captain Martinez, for granting us this interview.

Roberto Martinez: Happy to talk to the press. I’m ready to answer your questions.


ET: Okay, were you surprised at winning the election for Speaker?

RM: Quite surprised. I thought some liberal or left-winger would win it.

ET: After a near misstep you have appointed Michael Lundgren as Deputy Speaker. What was your reasoning for this?

RM: I got recommendation from an experienced politician, and Lundgren was only good choice who was not minister.

ET: What goals do you have in mind during this term as Speaker?

RM: Well, i need to do some good for Latins.

ET: You are still relatively new to politics, are you surprised at being a nationally recognized leader so quickly?

RM: Quite surprised. I'm surprised that my Latin conservative line has achieved so much popularity.

ET: You recently started an organization known as the EUtopian Firearms Association. Do you feel such an association is needed in EUtopia?

RM: Someone has to watch that liberals don't take our rights away from us, and create world where you get life sentence from shooting a junkie who's waving a gun at you.

ET: Corollary to the previous question. Is the EFA more of a gun club or will it be a lobbyist group as well to promote and protect the interests of the EFA and its members?

RM: Quite both of them. Main part of our group is to lobby for gun owner's rights in NA.

ET: What do you think of the Firearms Regulations Act that is being proposed in the NA?

RM: It's quite good, but i think military don't need to be taught by greenhorn civs on how to use weapons.

ET: Do you think such legislation is necessary and/or even desirable?

RM: Yes, because we need to limit terrorist groups' access to weapons. Let's take that Farpoint incident for example. Four far-right wackos with AKs in middle of crowd. There could have been much blood in there.

ET: This paper, and surely other people, have expressed concern that although you state the EFA is not a paramilitary group, it might develop into one as more people join the association. How do you answer this important issue?

RM: . Like i said, EFA members who use guns for criminal activity will be kicked out of EFA before they can say"Markinson".

ET: Some people in the government are not native EUtopians born in this great nation. Do you see this as a threat, or showcasing the diversity of EUtopia?

RM: I'm an immigrant myself, so that probably answers your question.

ET: You are a military man. Captain of an airborne regiment. Do you feel military officers SHOULD be politicians at the same time they are serving their country as military officers?

RM: Why shouldn't we enjoy rights we fight to protect?

ET: Corollary to previous question. Do you feel a dichotomy of being a serving military officer and Speaker of the NA? In other words, do you feel that sometimes the two positions are somewhat incompatible?

RM: No i don't feel.

ET: If you have to leave the Speakership position due to military necessity because of having to serve as a peacekeeper in another country, would you feel that Michael Lundgren would carry on your policies?

RM: Michael is a good and competent man and i'm sure he has some of his father's political skill.

ET: Being a military officer, do you feel that the military should be reorganized?<not in terms of weaponry, but otherwise> If so, in what way?

RM: Something is wrong if half of the military are planning a coup, running on WET killing Topans and Ecofacists and setting up terrorist groups.

ET: Every military man wants the shiny new weapons of war. Do you think EUtopia should ignore the many other problems facing this nation in favor of forcefully and quickly rearming the military with more modern equipment?

RM: We don't have no benefit of fancy social security if our country is filled with Russian or some other soldiers. Howewer, we have no benefit of military if there is no one to fight for.


ET: Thank you for your time Mr. Speaker.

RM: You are welcome.