Second Coming of St. Jesus the Carpenter
After fifteen years since the Death of Marcus the Marshmallow maker had came to its august in middle of the June, a young woman came crying in to the streets of Leipzig.
”Suffer o' sinners, the end is coming!”
And people passed by let her wage her rage without much of intervention.
And in third night of that June of the year 409 since the abolition of Holy Warsaw Municipality, another women came out to the street and cried:
”Hell damns us all, the sky is falling!”
And She was arrested over disturbing the quite hour, that the Land lord Guy Gauntlet had regulated in Leipzig. The woman was charged with fine and send back to her quarters, and his grim omens and revelations were duly ignored.
And day after that incident had occurred, a young women came to the streets and spoke unknown tongues, and her breasts poured 5.5 % strong Beer and turpentine. It maddened the nearby quarters and those who came to drink from her right breast got merry and joyful but soon started to be mad at trees and rocks.
Those who drink from her left breast had itching stomach pains and had feverish dreams of burning furniture.
And such ill luck had the city of Leipzig that this womens right breast carried unnoticed breast tumor that had shrunken its mammary glands. So after few hours had passed, people of Leipzig run to the streets and raved and drooled and started setting large pyres over piles of furnitures that were wrested from the very homes of kind noblemen.
And the People's Militia of Damaskus/Order that had won the contract over local police activity in Leipzig let this madness take place for few good hours as they were allegedly in secret cartel with the local furniture dealers and carpenters to make the prizes go higher.
So after the smokes begun to evaporate and the turpentine-intoxicated citizens either dying or retiring to their homes, The People's Militia of Damaskus/Order ordered the caterpillars to clean the streets.
And behold: Secretly they chuckled with the furniture enterprises and as it was foreseen, the prizes went high and the Leipzig fell into era of despair.
And people whined and groaned and agony and misery reigned. The joyful and merry times came grim and mirk and dogs howled and birds flew backwards.
The fair and gentle noblemen had no longer afford to keep shiny and pretty stools and tables and they had to eat from rickety rigs and drive their younger children to the streets to beg as there were no longer strong enough benches to support their fleshly bodies.
And people formerly free and full of spirit came down into level of beggars, thugs, Transvaalnians and someone's took Yngling Corsair names, rest just cried and wept.
And People drank more turpentine and suffered more stomach aches and had more dark dreams of dark hours.
...They came to the streets to rave and they wore sheepskins taken from their neighbours and spoke hasty judgments of their relatives and strangers.
...And people burned courthouse and repainted old churches. Taxi drivers started to wear nylons and Soldiers sold their rifles to purchase swords and lances...
And foul were time and lot of things was heard and in the second hour of the darkness, An unscheduled flight of Air-Mango's Boeing 707 flied over the sun and in that partial eclipse, cold wind blew and a Man named Ahmed spoke his words of his famous revelation.
Behold! The revelation of Ahmed Al Jib of Edinburgh:
Chapter 22
Chapters 1 to 20 deals most about market prices of various stocks of furnitures. Chapter 21 tells about different flavors of turpentine.
1The Revelation of Ahmed Al Jib o' Edinburgh, given to him freely and without forcing by the Mother Amma-Kun, thirty sixth descendant of Queen Liza, the first mother of Bassileus twice born.
2Transmitted and broadcasted by the TV-4 of Leipzig
32009 TV4
4Behold: The times are short and the demon is walking.
5He rides with horses of foul breed and low speed.
6and sometimes he has to use bicycle.
7 And to those who be blessed with vigour and understanding: Behold! He doesn't move at all in foul weather!
8 To the congregation of Halle: You haven't paid for the washing machine that I borrowed in last mont.
9I know your deeds and I shall condemn them.
10 To you who takes the tolerance and patience as signs of weakness: The time is short and if you don't pay the set prize,
11 I will **** cook your **** in melted butter!
12 Bloody *****, *****suckers....
13 Mumbling...
14 Your time will come!
15 All hail the congregation of Chicago and loved Father Nicodameus.
16 For he was well witted and fair.
17 Without lust of Sodomy in his thoughts
18 Nor deeds of villains nor corsairs.
19 Indeed righteousness man he was.
20 As righteousness was his virtue.
21 Until the end of the times.
Chapter 23
1 And I've seen that the riot will run loose and political influences will root deeply into average life
2 And opinions will run from side to another and between them the devil rides whit:
3 Either his slow horse
4or
5 With his bicycle
6 Uncharted are the roads of holy god but well is written the path of satan.
7 As it goes trough Limmerich and Brussels.
8 Via the road M5
9 Cross the Bridge of Nieberlung
10 To the Paris and Berlin!
11 And long journey that is to ride with bicycle
12 Not to mention with slow horses
13 And thirst often overtakes the journeymen
14 And doomed are those who give water to the devil.
15 As they themselves drink from the bore well of Diabolia.
16 Whose waters are not regulated by any sanitary officials nor organisations.
17 Not now and not in the past.
18 And not in future, unless the meek will vote for the Bulgarian Communist party.
19 As they have done great deal of good
20 And many civil engineering reforms have come from their initiative.
21 And they have candidates of honest lineage and reputation.
22 And those who have understanding shall count the number of the candidate.
23 And it is a rather common number.
23.1 (between 11 and 13)
23.2 (and remember to write it and only it into the voting ballot)
24 And that number is 3451.56
Chapter 26
Chapters 24 and 25 contains mostly the candidates of the Bulgarian communist party nominates to the next city council elections in Leipzig.)
1 I heard that the door to the temple was open and it still stood closed and tall.
2 And yet the path of the 12 white bicyclist lead past the doors to the temple and they entered there with various selection of bruises and injury.
3 And they were never seen again
4 But instead I saw the lamp of god eating grass on Mount Blank
5 And it was either male or female kind but still had that vicious look of neutral person.
6 And with him were the 44 thousand virgin mens from all tribes of Mongols.
7 They had not defiled themselves with women but had stayed pure and untouched by the prettier sex.
8 Some of them were just unlucky, but most of them felt that life for zealot was good excuse of social incompetent.
9 And many of them had physical problems. And some prefer other ways of pleasures.
10 Few were just plain ugly or disgusting.
11 And these followed the lamp everywhere he/she went. They had been brought among the numbers of men as a firstfruits for the Lamp.
12 And the Lamp paid many ducates over them as the Satan himself was bidding and kept pushing the price higher.
Chapter 27
1 And I heard the Lamp cry: Wolves! And three time it shouted, none came the wolf and the 44 thousand virgin men started to show expressions of fear.
2 And they took the hairiest and ugliest among themselves and gave him the name of the wolf.
3 And youngest of them, who were nothing but mere boys were sacrificed to the new wolf and the elder virgins eat the flesh of the sacrification and bonded between themselves in gently and suspicious ways.
4 And they touched each other with paternal way and gave silly nicknames to each other.
5 And the lamp ate more grass and pasture flowers.
6 The wolf was build temple and it had sixteen walls and its towers had no roof, nor its windows any glass.
7 And huge smoke rose from inside the temple as the wolf burned the pasture grass and the lamp was prepared to be tested of its sex.
8 And the men called themselves as were-wolves and they rallied all the kings of the earth into great battle. And they spoke of turmoil and despair and raised a prostitute to rule the city of Leipzig.
9 And they drunk turpentine and eat the flesh of younger virgin men. And when all that was wasted they took middle-aged virgin men to be eaten until only 13 were-wolfs and the original wolf remained.
10 And they molestated the lamp and shore the innocent wool out to make their war ensing.
11 Foul was the ensing and it carried the colors of turpentine.
12 And the sixteen virgin men, aged over 50 years of age rode to the war and teared the outer walls of the Leipzig into shatters.
13 And from its tower the prostitute laughed and threw stools and tables into the street. All the furniture he wanted to burn and all the products of carpenters.
14 And the ones who believed into the lamp fell into fear and they called the police but the were-wolves controlled all phone lines.
15 And they started to print their mark on to the ones that had defiled themselves with women. That mark was foul and it burned the flesh and it mocked those who thought it was socially bit laughable to be virgin at the age of 50.
16 And Behold! As I've seen that mark burned in the sky during various ages. It carried different shapes but it always deprivated the sexual freedom of hetero-sexual citizens of Leipzig.
17 And the Lamp I saw without no wool and I cryed and threw stools out of the window.
Chapter 29
Chapter 28 list all the furnitures Ahmad Al Jib threw from the window)
1 And then came the Angel and told me: Hollowed be the motorcycles as they rode faster than Devils bicycle
2 Not to mention his slow horse
3Behold: The four motorcyclist of Heavenly icrusion. They wore the leather suites of papal fashion.
4 And they had defiled themselves with beutiful women and sometimes with not so beutifull women and wore the marks of them as triumphs in the wall and their skin was allergic to the sign of the Were-wolves.
5 And they had the knifes to skin the wolf.
6 And huge tuba that they blew to make the wolven ears ringing.
7 And the first motorcyclist blow the horn and ten thousand little gnomes crept into the catacomb and they lit the candle and transformed into 13 and half recarnations of Elton John.
8 The third motorcyclist blew the horn before the second and the earth did tremble and buildings lost their plasterings.
9 And the fourth Motorcyclist blew the horn a melody that was accused as plagiatry from God Save the Queen but it brought the fear of god into the heart of the wolves and they had to wear sunglasses as the light of god shined trough the clouds.
10 And the good won and the hour of wolf passed and they all rode into the thecnicolor sunset.
11 except the devil, whose horse were too slow. He remained among the burned piles of furnitures.
Chapter 30
1 The Devil shake his head and looked the burned wood. He did not see the second motorcyclist who had not rode away.
2 As he was mad to have his turn taken in the grand finale.
3 And he decided to remain in Leipzig. The city of torture and pain now as no full table remained, no unbroken closet.
4 No fine chair nor bench, no coat racks.
5 And he looked the pain of the city deep in its root and grinned.
6 Were not the prices high and unreasonable?
7 Indeed it was time to make some profit...
8 St. Jesus the Carpenter had few thoughts of new Jerusalem and new tree of life.
9 But he forsake them as they were too far out and unrealistic.
10 And contained no economical security for gifted craftsman like he was.
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for reward: 20 Prestige
