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Crusader Kings III Available Now!
The realm rejoices as Paradox Interactive announces the launch of Crusader Kings III, the latest entry in the publisher’s grand strategy role-playing game franchise. Advisors may now jockey for positions of influence and adversaries should save their schemes for another day, because on this day Crusader Kings III can be purchased on Steam, the Paradox Store, and other major online retailers.
Indeed, and his current obsession is with gaining control of the rest of Columbia (mainly as its the only bit of N Andean pop out of my direct control now)
ah, but if a crocodile has to go ... hanging around with Laureen Bacall is not a bad fate ... certainly better than what happened to his medieval names sake, is I recallFinally caught up with this
It's a shame Beelzebub met a sticky end, as I was quite taken with that picture of the crocodile. There was something very smug about it...
glad you're enjoying it, its one of those things that seemed like a good idea when I started but I'm now having doubts ... still best to proceed and see what happens. The bigger problem at the moment is the UK is being very quiet, in all my tests they were hyper-active (which makes me wonder if there is something in 1.4 patch that has changed their habits)This is brilliant. Subscribed!
In which Harry cleans up several messes and Gabi is back up the Jungle
Dramatis Personae:
Harry, a bar owner who is steadily expanding his franchise
Gabi, who is by now really unhappy and back up the Nile again
Rafe, a Pope who doesn't approve of trains
Michael, an archangel who is desperate to be allowed to have a war
Fluffy and Bast, cats with missions
Ra, an Eqyptian who really likes Harry's coffee
The Emails
[1]
Scene 1: The Bar
Harry is not happy
"damn humans, they pick a fight with a country we already control ... I want the rest of Columbia"
[2]
General Guttierez wanders in very happy
"Ah General, are you enjoying all the new guns I ordered"
"yes ... and we found a use for them, you see Senor Harold, today we had a little incident ..."
"anything important?"
"oh, no, anyway we've declared war"
"thats nice, who?"
"Chile"
"Ah, and tell me, General Guttierrez"
Harry picks up a stick celery and waves it ominously
"just how is our army to reach them, Peru gives us no access, our Pacific Fleet can transport 3 brigades?"
"Oh"
"Fluffy, stop playing with Bast and go and sort this mess out"
Scene 2: Just outside the graveyard
Scene 3: The Cabinet
"So we dig a hole, and it brings us fame and prestige ... seems so"
"and this, yep that too"
"now gentlemen, we must have a secret discussion, I think we have a problem"
[1] - I made the wrong choice, I could have imposed a white peace (ie end the war), I offered a white peace (ie I opted out the war) instead ... ah well Mexico needs to learn to stand up for itself?
[2] - I want a CB on Columbia as otherwise it'll cost me 20 infamy to invade, as it has 300,000 N Andean population, I'd be near to a second NF if I can manage that
Harry, a bar owner who is steadily expanding his franchise
Gabi, who is by now really unhappy and back up the Nile again
Rafe, a Pope who doesn't approve of trains
Michael, an archangel who is desperate to be allowed to have a war
Fluffy and Bast, cats with missions
Ra, an Eqyptian who really likes Harry's coffee
The Emails
[1]
Scene 1: The Bar
Harry is not happy
"damn humans, they pick a fight with a country we already control ... I want the rest of Columbia"
[2]
General Guttierez wanders in very happy
"Ah General, are you enjoying all the new guns I ordered"
"yes ... and we found a use for them, you see Senor Harold, today we had a little incident ..."
"anything important?"
"oh, no, anyway we've declared war"
"thats nice, who?"
"Chile"
"Ah, and tell me, General Guttierrez"
Harry picks up a stick celery and waves it ominously
"just how is our army to reach them, Peru gives us no access, our Pacific Fleet can transport 3 brigades?"
"Oh"
"Fluffy, stop playing with Bast and go and sort this mess out"
Scene 2: Just outside the graveyard
Scene 3: The Cabinet
"So we dig a hole, and it brings us fame and prestige ... seems so"
"and this, yep that too"
"now gentlemen, we must have a secret discussion, I think we have a problem"
[1] - I made the wrong choice, I could have imposed a white peace (ie end the war), I offered a white peace (ie I opted out the war) instead ... ah well Mexico needs to learn to stand up for itself?
[2] - I want a CB on Columbia as otherwise it'll cost me 20 infamy to invade, as it has 300,000 N Andean population, I'd be near to a second NF if I can manage that
"If you want your marbles back, don't listen to Joan." That is a beaut.
Harry's reign of competence continues, though there appear to be slight cracks in the facade. Quetzlcoatl (or whatever the spelling is) can't be pleased about the about-face Harry pulled off there.
Highlight continues to be the uncomprehending flailing by Gabi and Raphael. They are so far out of their depth (and Michael, while slightly less befuddled by all the modern goings-on, isn't exactly acquitting himself well either)... And all the while Harry and Astarte are running amuck, and the old Pagan gods are stirring... If the Big Yin ever comes back from his retirement cruise, he'll have his work cut out for him.
Harry's reign of competence continues, though there appear to be slight cracks in the facade. Quetzlcoatl (or whatever the spelling is) can't be pleased about the about-face Harry pulled off there.
Highlight continues to be the uncomprehending flailing by Gabi and Raphael. They are so far out of their depth (and Michael, while slightly less befuddled by all the modern goings-on, isn't exactly acquitting himself well either)... And all the while Harry and Astarte are running amuck, and the old Pagan gods are stirring... If the Big Yin ever comes back from his retirement cruise, he'll have his work cut out for him.
In which crocodiles cause an international incident
Dramatis Personae
Harry - an innkeeper with expansion plans and several immediate problems
Sukot - an Egyptian offended by Harry's treatment of
Beelzebub - who was a crocodile but is now a fashion item retained by
Freyja - a Swedish goddess with style
Gabi - a bemused explorer stuck up the Nile
Rafe - an archangel starting to make waves in the modern world
Michael - who has one of his better periods
Quetzalcoatl - who suffers as a result
Wirakoche, an Incan god who joins
Jin, a Cambodia god, to meet Harry for a nice cup of coffee
Scene 1: The Bar
Harry is checking his emails and sipping his morning coffee
"Gabi, where's Gabi .. I want him now"
"Sire, he's still up the Nile"
"oh ... look go and see Freyja"
"I think we need Beezie back, preferably intact"
"and if she refuses?"
"we'll arrange for an accident to affect one of them"
Scene 2: Our IT person is still reading
slowly he is understanding the forces that have shaped the modern world
Scene 3: The Cabinet Office
(the discerning reader will remember a secret conversation was about to take place at the end of the last post)
"and, ... look check the door's locked"
"its about 'Senor Harold' ... I know we've done well from his 'guidance', but I think he wants to replace us"
"I think we have to strike now"
the door slides open, the hinges squeal, the temperature falls
"oh, Senor Harold, how good of you to join us ... we were just about to approve this decree"
"ummh ... fluffy, you know what to do"
"no, no, Senor Harold you misunderstand ... look we'll pass this as well"
As Harry leaves the building, he glances at the wall
Scene 4: The Bar
A particularly special coffee is being roasted to welcome Wirakoche and Jin
"ah so glad you could join us ... come in .... come in"
Harry - an innkeeper with expansion plans and several immediate problems
Sukot - an Egyptian offended by Harry's treatment of
Beelzebub - who was a crocodile but is now a fashion item retained by
Freyja - a Swedish goddess with style
Gabi - a bemused explorer stuck up the Nile
Rafe - an archangel starting to make waves in the modern world
Michael - who has one of his better periods
Quetzalcoatl - who suffers as a result
Wirakoche, an Incan god who joins
Jin, a Cambodia god, to meet Harry for a nice cup of coffee
Scene 1: The Bar
Harry is checking his emails and sipping his morning coffee
"Gabi, where's Gabi .. I want him now"
"Sire, he's still up the Nile"
"oh ... look go and see Freyja"
"I think we need Beezie back, preferably intact"
"and if she refuses?"
"we'll arrange for an accident to affect one of them"
Scene 2: Our IT person is still reading
slowly he is understanding the forces that have shaped the modern world
Scene 3: The Cabinet Office
(the discerning reader will remember a secret conversation was about to take place at the end of the last post)
"and, ... look check the door's locked"
"its about 'Senor Harold' ... I know we've done well from his 'guidance', but I think he wants to replace us"
"I think we have to strike now"
the door slides open, the hinges squeal, the temperature falls
"oh, Senor Harold, how good of you to join us ... we were just about to approve this decree"
"ummh ... fluffy, you know what to do"
"no, no, Senor Harold you misunderstand ... look we'll pass this as well"
As Harry leaves the building, he glances at the wall
Scene 4: The Bar
A particularly special coffee is being roasted to welcome Wirakoche and Jin
"ah so glad you could join us ... come in .... come in"
In which Harry finds that diplomacy is less fun that it seems
Dramatis Personae
Harry - a bar owner facing a revolt and trying to keep some allies
Quetzalcoatl - a Mexican who believes a change of title might improve his fortunes
Astarte - an empress who is really not happy when Harry insults her
Gabi - a briefly popular revolutionary in Egypt
Raphael - a Pope with something to prove
Scene 1: A flat in New York, our IT person reads
... he slowly comes to understand the true nature of international politics in the nineteenth century:
Egypt's history seems to be closely linked to the fate of a crocodile skin handbag
Argentina's government was overthrown due to an ill-judged insult
and this just seemed ... rather doomed to failure.
However, as ever, not all the records were electronic, meaning he missed some key events in Latin American history as Astarte took revenge on Harry:
Scene 2: A very posh villa in Caracas
The plotters plot the final stage of their revolt against Harry.
"So, now we have the election results"
"and we have united all our people by conquering Columbia"
"it is time to overthrow the tyrant"
"so first we kill his rabbit"
"and then we defeat his leaderless troops on the field of battle"
Scene 3: The Bar
Harry seems rather cheerful after all the chaos and bloodshed. Gabi has been in disgrace since the Egyptian 'events' decides he can risk a question.
"Harry, what .... "
"oh don't worry your head about that sort of thing"
"no ... not that, why are we doing this?"
"I fancied a new statue"
Harry - a bar owner facing a revolt and trying to keep some allies
Quetzalcoatl - a Mexican who believes a change of title might improve his fortunes
Astarte - an empress who is really not happy when Harry insults her
Gabi - a briefly popular revolutionary in Egypt
Raphael - a Pope with something to prove
Scene 1: A flat in New York, our IT person reads
... he slowly comes to understand the true nature of international politics in the nineteenth century:
Egypt's history seems to be closely linked to the fate of a crocodile skin handbag
Argentina's government was overthrown due to an ill-judged insult
and this just seemed ... rather doomed to failure.
However, as ever, not all the records were electronic, meaning he missed some key events in Latin American history as Astarte took revenge on Harry:
Scene 2: A very posh villa in Caracas
The plotters plot the final stage of their revolt against Harry.
"So, now we have the election results"
"and we have united all our people by conquering Columbia"
"it is time to overthrow the tyrant"
"so first we kill his rabbit"
"and then we defeat his leaderless troops on the field of battle"
Scene 3: The Bar
Harry seems rather cheerful after all the chaos and bloodshed. Gabi has been in disgrace since the Egyptian 'events' decides he can risk a question.
"Harry, what .... "
"oh don't worry your head about that sort of thing"
"no ... not that, why are we doing this?"
"I fancied a new statue"
Rather involved, this international diplomacy game is, isn't it? I'm surprised you're able to find enough deities to sub for all the countries involved.
Wait, what's that I hear? I have pressing matters and will check back in later.
Wait, what's that I hear? I have pressing matters and will check back in later.
the main problem is that both Brazil and Argentina are in a permanent cycle of anarcho-liberal and reactionary revolts, so every time one wins my influence is set back to 0 ... add to that my capitalists will not build small arms factories so I can't expand the army --- no problem with tbe booze, its the guns that are the problem
In which Harry has a party
Dramatis Personae
Harry, bar keeper and active correspondent
Astarte, may lose a war, but she keeps her mojo
Jean, who wins the war
Michael, finds his realm shrinking
BY, a mysterious new ruler who does the shrinking
Gabi, sent off up the desert with his own trowel
Rafe, a pope who likes canals and hates trains
Quetzalcoatl, who may be trying to borrow Harry's trowel and wants some extra pyramids
Part 1: The Electronic Record
Scene 1: Harry's party
The invites have been sent
The guests invited
And Harry is acting as host for the evening
"And this, so proud of this ... our first proper colony"
"It'll be a chance to replace my old statue"
At which he is interupted
"Sire, sire, a rebellion"
Harry looks for fluffy and thumper
"Ok boys, sort it out"
On his way back, Fluffy looks at the latest diplomatic messages:
Dramatis Personae
Harry, bar keeper and active correspondent
Astarte, may lose a war, but she keeps her mojo
Jean, who wins the war
Michael, finds his realm shrinking
BY, a mysterious new ruler who does the shrinking
Gabi, sent off up the desert with his own trowel
Rafe, a pope who likes canals and hates trains
Quetzalcoatl, who may be trying to borrow Harry's trowel and wants some extra pyramids
Part 1: The Electronic Record
Scene 1: Harry's party
The invites have been sent
The guests invited
And Harry is acting as host for the evening
"And this, so proud of this ... our first proper colony"
"It'll be a chance to replace my old statue"
At which he is interupted
"Sire, sire, a rebellion"
Harry looks for fluffy and thumper
"Ok boys, sort it out"
On his way back, Fluffy looks at the latest diplomatic messages:
So God himself has chosen the side of the Confederacy... Wow, I'll have to re-evaluate a lot of the history I've learned about this adopted country of mine...
Nice digs at Michael and Astarte, even though dissing Astarte is clearly a losing proposition for Harry. Of course, Harry's never been one for the common sense.
Was that your first larger-scale rebellion? Didn't look too bad, with only four provinces rising up - course, you're not playing 1.1, right, when hordes of rebels would swamp every country.
Nice digs at Michael and Astarte, even though dissing Astarte is clearly a losing proposition for Harry. Of course, Harry's never been one for the common sense.
Was that your first larger-scale rebellion? Didn't look too bad, with only four provinces rising up - course, you're not playing 1.1, right, when hordes of rebels would swamp every country.
They seem very unsure if they want an ultra-reactionary or an anarcho-liberal govt. See what you mean, if those statues were secret nuclear missiles then it would be a perfect setting for James Bond to do his thing
It was the second rebellion, but they are getting larger. At least I've now solved the firearms crisis so my army is growing.So God himself has chosen the side of the Confederacy... Wow, I'll have to re-evaluate a lot of the history I've learned about this adopted country of mine...
Nice digs at Michael and Astarte, even though dissing Astarte is clearly a losing proposition for Harry. Of course, Harry's never been one for the common sense.
Was that your first larger-scale rebellion? Didn't look too bad, with only four provinces rising up - course, you're not playing 1.1, right, when hordes of rebels would swamp every country.
In the next episode Harry and Astarte have a monumental falling out ... and Harry may get a bit too optimistic
In which Harry finds diplomacy is soooo boring
Dramatis Personae
Harry - a bar owner with a low boredom threshold;
The Big Yin - who Harry makes the mistake of thinking is too busy beating up
Michael - a man whose realm may be growing again
Astarte - who decides she fancies a strange bedfellow if it annoys Harry
Gabi - an archangel left to solve a riddle
Scene 1: The Bar
Harry is reading the paper and is bored ... very bored.
Worthy economic news fails to hold his attention for long
News that 10% of the population have one grievance or another fails to interest him
Flicking to the obituary columns he is briefly forced to wonder just what the navy is up to
I mean this is scarcely news
and then he sees something tucked away in the middle pages that catches his interest
so he shouts to thumper to come with him to the Ministry of War
Scene 2: The Ministry of War
Harry is explaining things the way he sees them.
"look their main ally is involved in a major war .... we attack with all our allies, capture Costa Rica and ... "
"but"
"no look no need to worry ... I did it this morning"
"but"
"and all our allies have already joined us"
"but, senor Harold .... we have news of a major revolt"
"oh don't worry, fluffy'll sort that out"
Part 3: The various electronic records
So will Harry win his war against the might of the British Empire ... or has he rather gone too far this time? More in the next update.
Harry - a bar owner with a low boredom threshold;
The Big Yin - who Harry makes the mistake of thinking is too busy beating up
Michael - a man whose realm may be growing again
Astarte - who decides she fancies a strange bedfellow if it annoys Harry
Gabi - an archangel left to solve a riddle
Scene 1: The Bar
Harry is reading the paper and is bored ... very bored.
Worthy economic news fails to hold his attention for long
News that 10% of the population have one grievance or another fails to interest him
Flicking to the obituary columns he is briefly forced to wonder just what the navy is up to
I mean this is scarcely news
and then he sees something tucked away in the middle pages that catches his interest
so he shouts to thumper to come with him to the Ministry of War
Scene 2: The Ministry of War
Harry is explaining things the way he sees them.
"look their main ally is involved in a major war .... we attack with all our allies, capture Costa Rica and ... "
"but"
"no look no need to worry ... I did it this morning"
"but"
"and all our allies have already joined us"
"but, senor Harold .... we have news of a major revolt"
"oh don't worry, fluffy'll sort that out"
Part 3: The various electronic records
So will Harry win his war against the might of the British Empire ... or has he rather gone too far this time? More in the next update.
The Big Yin is sounding rather threatening there... More OT than NT, perhaps?
I'm impressed with Harry's performance against the British, but overall the balance must be strongly in favor of Britain. It seems exceedingly unwise to reject that offer of white peace, particularly in the tone that Harry chose...
I'm impressed with Harry's performance against the British, but overall the balance must be strongly in favor of Britain. It seems exceedingly unwise to reject that offer of white peace, particularly in the tone that Harry chose...
Especially unwise as even if you win you would only get Belize. Main asset = 6 million mosquitos. the value only goes up if you add in locally based Tory Peers.
This is definitely an OT model of celestial intervention ... but Harry, for once, manages to avoid falling into an obvious trap.
that is part of the problem .... not only have I almost no way of getting a warscore that counts ... I really don't want what I can gain -- even worse than Ashcroft, I might be visited by Hague ... a fate far far worse than eternal damnation
In which Harry and Astarte trade favours
Dramatis Personae
Harry, a bar owner, with a lot of rebels easily to hand
Astarte, an empress with a rubbish navy and a lot of rebels of her own
B.. Y.., a ruler who really wants to get Harry back where he belongs
Gabi, Rafe, two archangels not really up to the nineteenth century
A lot (I mean a lot) of revolting Brazilians
The Rurikovich dynasty - or at least their descendents, now threatening to catch up with Harry for his part in their history
Part 1 - the electronic records[1]
Scene 1: The Government Offices
Various ministers and officials are discusing what is known, in very refined circles, as the Senor Harold problem.
"Well his idea to invade Costa Rica was a disaster"
"Yes, thats true, I mean what has he ever done for us"
"The population is being driven to drink to keep his bars profitable"
"we're a government of liberals and we seem to have legalised Trades Unions"
"and this NHS thing ... I mean ... whats the point of being a liberal if you have to fund this sort of thing"
"and the women are revolting these days"
"But then ... we do rule the whole continent"
The electronic archive ... part 2
Just as he closes up his laptop for the night, our IT person glances at a final email
[1] - of course there is no truth to the rumours that the email cache has been selectively edited before being placed in the hands of our lonely, elderly IT person.
So will Harry continue to defy the Big Yin? What will happen when the Rurikovich's catch up with him? Can Venezuela hold on to Latin America? How will Astarte handle her rebel problem?
Harry, a bar owner, with a lot of rebels easily to hand
Astarte, an empress with a rubbish navy and a lot of rebels of her own
B.. Y.., a ruler who really wants to get Harry back where he belongs
Gabi, Rafe, two archangels not really up to the nineteenth century
A lot (I mean a lot) of revolting Brazilians
The Rurikovich dynasty - or at least their descendents, now threatening to catch up with Harry for his part in their history
Part 1 - the electronic records[1]
Scene 1: The Government Offices
Various ministers and officials are discusing what is known, in very refined circles, as the Senor Harold problem.
"Well his idea to invade Costa Rica was a disaster"
"Yes, thats true, I mean what has he ever done for us"
"The population is being driven to drink to keep his bars profitable"
"we're a government of liberals and we seem to have legalised Trades Unions"
"and this NHS thing ... I mean ... whats the point of being a liberal if you have to fund this sort of thing"
"and the women are revolting these days"
"But then ... we do rule the whole continent"
The electronic archive ... part 2
Just as he closes up his laptop for the night, our IT person glances at a final email
[1] - of course there is no truth to the rumours that the email cache has been selectively edited before being placed in the hands of our lonely, elderly IT person.
So will Harry continue to defy the Big Yin? What will happen when the Rurikovich's catch up with him? Can Venezuela hold on to Latin America? How will Astarte handle her rebel problem?
STOP! COOKIE TIME