The Cypriot Knights

[Hughrocks123]

Hello and welcome to my Cypriot AAR! I have been a lurker of EU3 AARs for quite awhile and I have always wanted to start one.
I mostly play small nations, and the tiny island nation of Cyprus caught my eye. Its in quite a situation and mostly surrounded by enemies. However, what really made me choose Cyprus was its demonym Cypriot, which I thought was hilarious. Cyp·ri·ot.

Here are the House Rules:

-No Reloading,Cheating (Duh)
-No going over the Infamy Limit
-Max Vassals 3
-No Spamming Royal Marriages just to get PUs, they will be a relations tool only.
-No Running off to the New World (I mean, what fun is running away for 200 years?)
-Cyprus won't become a major trade power (As of above, I don't want to sit around for 200 years sending merchants to places. This is a AAR about Conquest, not Merchants.) This doesn't mean I can't have Merchants, I just cant have a monopoly in every trading center.

Goals:

-Maintain the Dynasty for as long as possible.
-Expand Cyprus
-Liberate the Mediterranean islands from their evil mainland oppressors.

Basic Info:
Normal Diff
Lucky Nations Random
Colonist 200
Everything else Normal

Table of Contents-
Chapter 1 Below
(if anyone can PM me a way to link post with words it would be appreciated)

 

[Hughrocks123]

Chapter 1- Every Journey Begins with a simple step.

Soon to be the capital city of the world.

King Janus de Lusignan enter the room with a big smile on his face. His advisers didn't. After emptying his bottle of Cypriot wine, he sat down.

"Ah, the Peaceful island of Cyprus. How are our Cypriot people."

The advisor of state spoke first. "The people of Cyprus hate you. They think you don't understand there culture and that you are too intruding with your French ways."

The Government doesn't exactly fit the island.

"What? Who wouldn't want to be French? This is an island that produces wine, how can we not be French!"

"The Greeks think that a Greek island should be ruled by a Greek government, sir."

"That doesn't make any sense, but I guess I will have to give in."

"I'll get ready to deliver the message in the least offensive most stable wa...."

"Don't worry about it!, am the king, I can handle such a simple task."

The king's speech mention how he was selflessly giving up his obviously superior French culture to become measly Greek. The population didn't approve.

After an hour the king returned.

"I don't think that was the right way to handle it, king."

"Nonsense, if those Greeks can't handle the truth then it is their fault."

"Our island is completely unstable now!"

"Adjusting, not unstable. Am tired of your protest, your only hindering the great island of the Cypriots! Your dismissed."

The adviser of state left frustrated.

"Alright, now on to a much more sensible topic. Adviser of Religion, how are our people serving god?"

"Sir, they aren't Catholic. I told you that it wouldn't be a good idea to make the state religion Catholic while our country is still Orthodox. People aren't inspired to work for you.

"Nonsense, this is a French nation and all Frenchmen are devout Catholics."

"We aren't French anymore."

"On paper, adviser, on paper. The truth is Cyprus will always be a French nation."

"... Anyway, the people think you will serve them better if you convert to Orthodox."

"I have a better idea. How about we convert all of them to Catholicism!"

"That is very imprac..."

"Enough, adviser, I have made my decision. You're dismissed."

The adviser left the room in the same mood as the last.

"This is Crazy. Adviser of diplomacy, you have something more reasonable to say other those two, right?"

"Yes sir, in fact I have a diplomat from Granada that wants to talk to you right now."

"Excellent work, bring him in immediately."

"The Adviser of diplomacy gave a signal and the diplomat walked in."

"Hello, great king of Cyprus. My Sultan just wanted to confirmed our peaceful intentions within Europe and to the great nation of the Cyprians."

"What?"

"I said I wanted to.."

"Get out."

"Huh?"

"Get out. Now. Tell your Sultan to never return."

"A-am sorry, is there a problem?"

"OUT!"

The diplomat hurried out.

"What wrong sir? He was declaring peace!" The adviser of diplomacy said.

"He was insulting us! How dare he even think of saying the word Cyprian! We... are... CYPRIOTS!"

"Sir you can't be serious!"

"Quiet, you fool! Adviser of the military, gather the troops, this is war.

The adviser of the military couldn't believe what he just heard. "Sir, I was just going to explain how our military is completely unable of conquering even a nation like Rykuyu! We can't possibly..."

"I don't know where Ryukyu so it matters not. This is an order!"

The adviser of the military left the room full of shocked officials of Cyprus.

As the king left for the docks, the adviser of diplomacy spoke up. "Sir, you still have 14 other diplomats to talk to!"

"Tell them to go away." And the king left.

(Hope you enjoyed this post, any suggested just say. Also, I know about the spelling error in the first picture.)

 

[ATBKING]

We Are CYPRIOTS!!! HAHAHA!!! that was priceless. Subscribed

 

[Valens Bellator]

Haha I recall trying the knights of Rhodes once (it didn't go well) and always wanted to follow through with a crusader state... I wish you luck!

I'll certainly be following this one!

 

[Hughrocks123]

Chapter Two- The Taste of Blood

"How Can you do this? We don't even have enough men to create two regiments! We only have two ships! Our military in no condition! We don't even have a reason for war!" The adviser of the Military yelled from the docks.

"You may not call this group of men "military" anymore, we are Knights now. Cypriot Knights on a quest to restore Cypriot honor!" The kind responded.

"That doesn't change the fact that our mi... our "Knights" are totally unfit for this!"

"A true knight is fuller of bravery in the midst, than in the beginning of danger."

"What does that mean!?"

"I don't know, but am going to wreck Granada! For the Cypriot People!"

The State Adviser then quickly came and pushed aside the adviser of the military.

"Sir, we can't leave, the island will most like revolt from that speech you gave!"

"Then I'll give them something they like. Hmm, what do people like these days... hmm... Freedom! Yes, freedom the big thing today. Give them more freedom!

"Okay... I'll get right to it." Responded the State Adviser.

"In fact, ill even make the speech myself." The king said.

"NOO! Ah, I mean, my king, your really busy and must get ready for the war. I insist, let me take care of the job, it is my duty."

"Hmm... okay. Take care of Cyprus, am off to war."

The Adviser did a better job.

And Janus de Lusignan of Cyprus, head of the Cypriot Knights, and conqueror of Granada, left. For now, it is time for Cypriot to get its revenge!



Meanwhile, in Madrid...



"We intend to do no harm to Castille. We are here on peaceful means, Granada offers Friendship to Castille." Said the Granada diplomat.

"Great, I hope the peace with help both our nations prosper." Replied the Spanish king.

"Granada wants to thank the Spanch people." said the diplomat.

"What..."

"I said that Granada wants to thank the Spanch people."

"Get out."

"Again..."

"GET OUT" The Spanish king yelled.

A week later...

Back to the Cypriot Knights...




And he sailed. For one week he traveled from one side of the Mediterranean sea to the other. Finally, he reached the coast of Spain.

The Captain of the ship approached the king. "Ay, my majesty, my boys have been back from the Iberia. Castille will let us dock on the coast."

"Excellent, now we won't have to attack from sea. Knights, onto land!

The Cypriot War Effort. Granada had 2000 seizing a Spanish province to the north.

Together, Janus and the Spanish destroyed the enemies army. Then, just as he was about to enter the land of Granada, Spain dropped out! Granada was wide open!

And soon enough...

Europe was now safe from Demonym abusers. (And from Islam too I guess).

And, more importantly, Cyprus was now a two province minor! Wrong culture, religion, and uncored, but it will do.

They are also the most hated nation in Europe.

 

[Hughrocks123]

Feedback

ATBKING- Thanks for the First comment and compliment, I hope you will enjoy the AAR!

Valens Bellator- The Knights of Rhode are no real knights, they will be dealt with. Thanks for the luck! Enjoy the AAR!

I also find it ironic that both poster have AARs about small island nations.

EDIT: Forgot about basic info! Added to first post.

 

[ATBKING]

Birds of a feather Right!! And how dare you call yourself weaker then Ryukyu!! No one is weaker then Ryukyu!!!

HAHAHA!! and what in the world is a Spanch.

 

[Hughrocks123]

Spain + French.

 

[Hughrocks123]

Chapter Three- War of the Diplomats

"And So, I am Glad to announce that the great Byzantine Empire will protect your small state in the event of a foreign attack." Said the Byzantine diplomat.

"Your a three province minor that gets sacked by the Turks every 5 years..." Responded King Janus de Lusignan, King of the Cypriots, head of the Cypriot Knights, and Conqueror of Granada.

"That is not relevant! These days small Orthodox Greek states must be protected, and we Byzantines are a proud protector!"

"Were French and Catholic..."

"It says right here that your Greek."

"On paper... Oh just get out, your annoying me."

The diplomat left.

"Sigh. Diplomats these days."

Suddenly the State Adviser came in. "Sir, I have some news for you."

"Yeah, what else is new. What is it Pageous?"

"You call me by my name sir?"

"We are a two province country now, Pageous, we are significant enough to name ourselves! Now what is it?"

"About that... Granada revolted again."

"Again? This the third time! Why would they revolt anyway?"

"Well, you did attack their country for no reason."

"There was plenty of reason! We can't let them go around saying what they were!"

"Maybe so, but they still don't like you."

"Sucks to be them. There about to face the wrath of two thousand angry Cypriot Knights."

"Our give the order sir. In other news, I have two individuals that want to see you."

"Bring them fourth."

Soon came two men, each with long white beards, red caps, and lots books in each hand.

"We, sir, are diplomats."

"Oh God No Go Away Now."

"No, No, please wait. Our Names are Zsigmond and Zygimantas. We heard that no one likes your country."

"Surprise there." Responded the king sarcastically.

"Yes, quite, but you see, as diplomats, we can lessen that!"

"Hmm you got my attention. By Just how will you do this?"

"Look here. This is the "infamy rating" that we have assigned to your country."

"Go on"

"Currently, its pretty high. If you hire us, the we promise it will go from this

to this

"Amazing. I don't know what that means, but I like it. Consider yourself hired!"

Satisfied, they two diplomats walked away.

"Hmm" That King said to himself as another man was approaching "Maybe Diplomats aren't as bad after all."

"Hello, it is me again, the Venice diplomat. I would like to ask you for trade rights for wine for the seventh time."

"Nevermind" The king mumbled to himself.

 

[ATBKING]

Where are the Updates??

 

[Hughrocks123]

I updated to DW, didn't think anyone was interested in a HTTT aar by the lack of communication. If people care I could start a DW one.

 

[ATBKING]

Do it and gain more readers that way. The way the forum works is you get alot of Lurkers. Trust me, People are reading they just arent commenting.

 

[dodedo]

Do it and gain more readers that way. The way the forum works is you get alot of Lurkers. Trust me, People are reading they just arent commenting.

like me!

 

[I8Strudel]

DW or not, I like how you're carrying this AAR out in both strategy & narration, so don't get discouraged!

 

[unmerged(471650)]

count me in to subscribed

 

[Hughrocks123]

Expect an update on Sat/Sun then.

 

[Webstantine]

I've been following this, I would've spoken to you but I didn't have an account. Your humour is amazing by the way.
Also I've been waiting over a month for that update on Sat/Sun.