The Crusading Tradition
Henry the Saracen Slayer part III
It is the common fate of sons to be misunderstood by their fathers, and of fathers to be unloved of their sons, but it has been the particular bane of the English throne.
-John Harvey - Richard I, page 58
Henry II as rendered in Cassell's History of England (1902)
Ah, Ohio, is beautiful in the summer, yes? Even in the stinking city. Like I’ve always said I have no problem with Columbus except it’s a city, and I will always be a country boy at heart.
No good sir, I have no money.
Jimmy, I wasn’t about to give that bum money; he’d just spend it on illicit narcotics.
No, Jules but I have a very good inkling. And I trust my gut. I wouldn’t have let it get this big otherwise. Ha ha!
…Well I thought it was funny. Anyway, let’s go to Pochie and sip on the overpriced milk tea, shall we?
OK, I said I was gonna talk about Henry II and his conquests, so let me finish up while we’re walking.
We have to talk about two Saints of the Plantagenet Empire if we are to ever understand the fate of the realm: Thomas a Becket and Muhammad the Berber. Both were ambitious, brilliant men, but whereas Thomas a Beckett was more of a politician, Muhammad more of a spiritual guru, but both severed England well, as long as old Hank behaved himself.
Oh you guys know about Thomas a Beckett?
Beckett was in deed murdered after Henry stupidly exclaimed, “Who will rid me of this troublesome priest.” What you may not know is that for a long time he was a good friend and faithful servant of Henry, and that’s what makes his death so tragic. Henry simply didn’t mean what he had said, but rash words can cost people more than their pride. And not only did the murder of Beckett in 1170 cost the King problems in the realm…
…Oh yes, I neglected to mention that after the battle of Sivas, Henry departed from the east, never to return, within a month of Sivas, he had settled back in his court at Angers, where, a party, and probably a little tipsy, he said those famous words. Not only had Beckett been a good steward and diplomat, he was also the lifeline between Rome and Henry. Henry had to return most of the money he had been given for the crusade, which amounted to about 3,500 Pounds, but by this time, he holdings in Egypt were tightly secured and the Crown was making substantially more monies that it really needed…
Murder of Thomas a Beckett
You see…well your right Jules, that is an extreme exaggeration, but the point is, even by the end of the Plantagenet Crusade, Henry was able to recover most of the costs by putting his own men in charge of tax collection, militia duty and even castle ownership. Many of the same nobles who bought Henry’s castles in England and France exchanged them for castles in far off Libya or Spain, or the Rumlands, where Henry’s eyes were not so watchful. This could have been a disaster for Henry, and in North Africa it nearly was. And then a miracle happened: Muhammad the Berber.
Muhammad the Berber was as important to Berber and Arabic Catholicism as St. Olaf was to Scandinavian Catholicism and St. Augustine of Canterbury was to English Catholicism. Did you guys see Voice in the Dessert a couple of years ago? No? It’s all about him, it’s a good movie. He was originally a Berber scout of some note, before finding himself walled up in Cordoba in 1156 by Henry’s forces. Supposedly he prayed to Allah, the Muslim God, asking him to give victory to the Muslims in their hour of need. When the city surrendered, he prayed to the Christian God saying if he was allowed to go home in one piece, he would follow Him all the days of his life.
Call it divine intervention, but Henry, like I said before, did not allow his soldiers to take one copper penny, not to ravish one woman. And I think this impressed the young Muhammad more than any prayers. Long story short, he took up the cloth, and became a friar. Now, Now, the rules were often bent for fellows like him, converts: he refused to change his name, stating that if it was a bad name, he would do his best to make it good enough for a saint. He was allowed to keep his wife, Marium, and by her he had seven children of which only two survived, and both their lines continue to this day. I know NOW the Catholics don’t allow any sex for the priests, but that was still almost 100 years into the future for Mo.
Mo went home to North Africa, a rough place En-Nassaria, where he preached the gospel from memory, and five times, yes five times defeated the local Imam in debate, and by 1170, he had convinced the ruling elements of the city, including the Imam, to convert to Christianity. They trekked to the sea, and there was much rejoicing as for 10 days, people came, and camped and were baptized one by one. Now there is one story that the Muslims in the city, and it was virtually all the Muslims who remained, shut the doors against the new Christians and would not let them in. Well, according to this story, Muhammad came to the door, knocked on it loudly and commanded it to open. At that moment, a terrible earthquake stuck, collapsing the gate and killing 7,000 people in the city, and none of the new converts outside. Now, the earthquake is not in dispute, but was Muhammad the Berber there? I will leave that up to you
But that story was believed by Henry, who, eager to appease the Pope after the death of Beckett, sent money and supplies and by his death, the Berbers had, almost to a man converted to Catholicism. I believe the numbers today are 5% non-Christian?
St. Muhammad was considered such even in his own lifetime; such was his conviction, decency and all around goodness. He worked tirelessly for the conversions of the Arabs around the Berber areas too, but Henry would not give him any financial support for that as religious policies were to show tolerance towards Muslims and let the priests do their own thing. Nonetheless, St. Muhammad the Berber wandered the desert for almost 30 years from his conversion to the day he set foot in the city of Tlemcen in 1190, where he said St. Augustine of Hippo bad him go in a dream. There he preached for several months, until a large crowd gathered. Some wished to convert; the others swore to kill any who deserted the faith of the Prophet. It is said that the converts were larger, but the fires of fanaticism burned in the Muslims so hot they killed them all systematically. Meanwhile, they seized St. Muhammad and tore him to pieces with their bare hands as he tried to bless them. They tore out his tongue. At the cathedral in the city, where he is buried, on the spot of him martyrdom is the relic of the Tongue of St. Muhammad. It is said that it still salivates and who ever touches the spittle of the saint will be granted great wisdom. To each his own I guess. In any case, the murderers of the martyrs were sold stricken with leprosy and kicked out of the city; they came back after supposedly crying out to St. Muhammad and begging his forgiveness for their sins. With their rapid healing, the entire city converted. With some prodding by the local magistrate and clergymen I might add.
A modern rendition of what St. Muhammad might have looked like as a young man
Now there’s the issue of the East. A very surprising thing happened in the Levant. That the Greeks rejected the Catholic views of Fliloque and other such non-issues is no one’s surprise, what is, is how readily the other Christian variants so readily adopted Catholic beliefs. The Turks and Persians in Tabriz, the Syrians in Lebanon, the Nestorians in Mosul (that would the Arab name for Nineveh), they all converted and reconciled to Rome within a decade of the conquest, and what in unexplainable is why the Arabs would convert as well. Truth be told, it wasn’t THAT hard to figure out.
Henry made a compromise with Rome: they would put a pro Roman Patriarch in Antioch and Alexandria, and in turn, the Patriarchs would have full leave way in administration of their territories. And Henry in turn leaned on him HARD to conduct services in the vernacular, so unlike the services elsewhere, one did not need to know Latin or Greek to understand the sermons. Knowledge of what your priest is saying is generally a good thing if you want to get your neighbor to come in with you.
So the Antiochian Catholic Church had three services a day in the cities: one in Latin, one in Arabic, and one in Syrian, and likewise the Alexandrian churches had three as well, only sub Coptic for Syrian. And so the Peoples of northern Mesopotamia, one and all, kissed the Pope’s as….ring, kissed the ring.
But not all was peaches: the "Angevin Curse" of infighting between father and sons, is infamous amongst the Plantagenet rulers. Trying to divide numerous lands amongst numerous ambitious children resulted in many problems for Henry. He gave over many of his lands in France to his son Henry the Young King, but Eleanor, that bitch, turned all her children against their father except for John, the youngest. It got so bad Henry had to lock her away in a convent until he died, and even this did not stop the viper
In 1173, Young Henry and Richard moved against their father and his succession plans; trying to secure the lands they were promised. While both Young Henry and Richard were relatively strong in France, they still lacked the manpower and experience to trouble their father unduly. He should have executed his son for treason, but I guess in the end, he was the Saracen Slayer and I’m not.
In 1182, the Plantagenet children's aggression turned inward. Young Henry, Richard and their brother Geoffrey all began fighting each other for their father's possessions on the continent. The aggression was exacerbated by French rebels and the French King, Philip Augustus. This was the most serious threat to come from within the family yet, and the King faced the monastic tragedy of civil war. However, on 11th June 1183, Henry the Young King died. The uprising, which had been built around the Prince, quickly collapsed and the remaining brothers returned to their individual lands.
“He cost me much, yet I wished he lived to cost me more.” That’s what Henry said about his rebellious son. I hope someday I can love someone like that.
The final battle between Henry's Princes came in 1184. Geoffrey of Brittany and John of Ireland, the youngest brothers, had been promised Aquitaine, which belonged to elder brother Richard. Geoffrey and John invaded, but Richard had been controlling an army for almost 10 years and was an accomplished military commander. Richard expelled his fickle brothers and they would never again face each other in combat, largely because Geoffrey died two years later, leaving only Richard and John.
The final thorn in Henry's side would be an alliance between his eldest son, Richard, and his greatest rival, Philip Augustus. John had become Henry's favorite son and Richard had begun to fear he was being written out of the King's inheritance. In summer 1189, Richard and Philip invaded Henry's heartland of power, Anjou. Defeated, Henry II met his opponents and agreed to all their demands, including paying homage to Philip for all his French possessions.
Weak, ill, and deserted by all but an illegitimate son, Geoffrey, Archbishop of York, Henry died at Chinon on 6th July 1189. His legitimate children, chroniclers record him saying, were "the real bastards." His eldest remaining son, and conqueror, was crowned Richard I of England on 1st September 1189.
What was the good news? As the Greek Empire fell apart under the misrule of Andronicus Comnenus and then the infamous Angeli family, many of its pieces in the east defected to the relative safety of the Plantagenet Empire, the internecine fighting contained to France. Most of the Rum Provinces converted by Henry’s death, after the spilling of much blood and ink, and I do mean that quite literally. And in Ireland, the province of Meath was handed over to Henry directly in 1167 by the Scots, followed by the annexation and vassilation of the other four Irish provinces. Henry was unable to add the title of High King of Ireland to his extensive title lists, but Richard the Lionheart would.