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Actinguy

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TheExecuter said:
Aww...young love blossoms at a wedding.

Incidently, I will be at a wedding tomorrow...perhaps I ought to ask someone to dance...hmmm.

:D

TheExecuter

Just make sure it's not your homicidal cousin!

:D

And for those of you who were grossed out...really?

A severed ear, a slit throat, falling 50 feet into a fire, an arrow through the neck, a knife through the heart, a leg taken off by cannonball...these things don't bother you.

But two cousins in the middle ages...dancing?



Really?


:D
 

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Actinguy said:
Just make sure it's not your homicidal cousin!

:D

And for those of you who were grossed out...really?

A severed ear, a slit throat, falling 50 feet into a fire, an arrow through the neck, a knife through the heart, a leg taken off by cannonball...these things don't bother you.

But two cousins in the middle ages...dancing?



Really?


:D
Well, I watched Alien 3 with a friend when we were nine years old, so I am detached from violence (even though none of us could sleep for a week after that). :D And I've played enough CK -- as well as read enough Knud Knýtling -- not to really mind the incest.
 

TheExecuter

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Actinguy said:
Just make sure it's not your homicidal cousin!

:D

<head down, writing on notepad>"Make sure it's not my homicidal cousin...CHECK!"

"Hmm, but what if the cousin is not homicidal?"

"Is that okay...?"

:p

TheExecuter
 

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Every Exit Is An Entrance Somewhere Else

Late Winter, 1085 - Mediterranean Sea

A bloodbath.

Four hundred lay dead, sprawled across the deck, mostly the count's men...but a fair share of pirates as well.

Robert stood cornered in the Captain's quarters, fighting off three attackers. The first swung, and he barely had time to parry before the next sword was headed his way. Robert ducked and then lunged at the third pirate before he could strike. The third pirate easily paried, and then Robert was turning just in time to parry the first one again.

Robert was an excellent swordsman...naturally talented, and then trained by Bishop-turned-captain Humphrey...but he couldn't defeat three grown-men. Yet...surrender was not an option. If he was to survive, he would need a miracle. A miracle...like...

A flash of light.

The three pirates and Robert both whirled toward the light, temporarily blinded, but when their vision cleared, they saw a man as dark as night, holding a single piece of gold.

The man's eyes went wide...and then he charged at them, unarmed. The pirates raised their swords at this new attacker, and Robert used the opportunity to slash one of them in the back, watching as he fell to the ground.

Robert swung his sword around and sliced a second pirate across the neck, dropping him as well...but just as his dark miracle reached the third man, he disappeared in another flash of light.

The last surviving pirate had seen crazier things during his time, and, frankly, was more relieved than alarmed by the man's disappearance. He turned and lunged at the young child, prepared to finally finish him off...but the child leapt backwards, and his sword instead connected with a metal box sitting on the captain's desk. The box fell over and opened, as a lit candle spilled out, igniting the papers and maps spread across the desk.

The fire spread quickly, soon reaching the pirate's pant leg, and then shooting up to his long, scraggly hair. He screamed, falling to the ground as he tried to extinguish himself.

Robert ran back to the deck...but there wasn't a living soul in sight. Just hundreds of bodies.

He looked back at the captain's quarters, now entirely engulfed by flames.

The ship would be gone in a matter of minutes.

There was only one thing to do.


Robert took a deep breath, tightened his grip on his sword...and then he dove into the freezing cold sea.
 
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He's out at sea, probably not sure where he is, and he's planning on going swimming. He's as dead as Abe Lincoln after a visit at the theatre.

...although weirder things have happened here, of course.
 

Actinguy

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And Enewald has misplaced his verbs again.

Or...perhaps you are attempting haiku?

;c)
 

Slinky

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Actinguy said:
Robert took a deep breath, tightened his grip on his sword...and then he dove into the freezing cold sea.
Yes this is the smart thing to do: dive into the freezing water with your heavy metal sword in hand. :wacko:
 

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Slinky said:
Yes this is the smart thing to do: dive into the freezing water with your heavy metal sword in hand. :wacko:
That will make his few minutes before death even harder, yes. :D Which also gives a bigger chance that he will be able to get out of it somehow.
 

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Snugglie said:
That will make his few minutes before death even harder, yes. :D Which also gives a bigger chance that he will be able to get out of it somehow.
Most likely he has cut his own ear of while jumping in the water. Then, because of the blood, he is surrounded by sharks in no time. He fights them gallantly with his sword and constructs a raft out of driftwood. He can use the shark entrails as rope and the skin as sail. Oars can be made out of the dorsal fins. :D

Or, because he doesn't want to die a slow death by drowning, he kills himself with the sword :cool:

Either way I think we will see some sharks in the next update :p
 

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Slinky said:
Yes this is the smart thing to do: dive into the freezing water with your heavy metal sword in hand. :wacko:

He just survived a pirate attack...only through the intervention of a time-travelling engineer...and a burning ship...and...on top of all of this...he is just a kid, people! What do you want from him? :D

Great.

Now I've got to write some sharks into the story.


Robert doesn't have enough problems?

:rofl:
 

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Actinguy said:
He just survived a pirate attack...only through the intervention of a time-travelling engineer...and a burning ship...and...on top of all of this...he is just a kid, people! What do you want from him? :D

Great.

Now I've got to write some sharks into the story.


Robert doesn't have enough problems?

:rofl:
We know you've got plans for him anyway -- letting someone of such bravado die that easily does not go according to anyone's plans. :p
 

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Wow, the family just doesn't get lucky, does it? another miracle will be needed to save poor Robert from the dangerous seas. That's another one who can't stand ships and rather walk three years over land instead of half a year on a ship!
 

unmerged(106914)

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Wow, time travelling pirates, child prodigy assassins, butterflies, this AAR has it all!

I'm eagerly awaiting the sharks. :cool:
 

Actinguy

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Fun fact: I suck at writing action scenes. If I had it to do over again, Guines would be the most pacifistic county in the history of Crusader Kings. :D

Alright...here we go...with yet ANOTHER stupid action scene. :rolleyes:

EDIT: Actually...I don't suppose any of you just LOVE writing action scenes, and would enjoy co-writing this AAR? Whenever there's an action scene, I'd hand it off to you with a list of two or three things that needed to happen somewhere within it?

You know you want to!

:D
 

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What Good's A Brick To A Drowning Man?

Late Winter, 1085 - Mediterranean Sea

Robert erupted from under the deadly cold water, gasping for air.

Captain Humphrey's sword was too heavy. He would need all of his strength for the fight ahead...and yet...

Robert had only been six years of age when Reinel passed away...possibly in this very spot...and as such, he had no real memories of his father. And while Osbern was a good and true brother, as only four years Robert's senior, he could hardly be seen as a father figure.

No, it was Captain Humphrey who had taken that role. And now that Humphrey was dead, Robert just couldn't part with the last item the Captain had given him.

A burning piece of the ship fell inches from Robert's head, creating a wave that crashed over his head. Robert came back up for air, struggling. He wouldn't last much longer like this.

He dove beneath the burning piece of driftwood, then shoved from underneath until he had flipped it over, extinguishing the fire. Robert laid the sword on the make-shift raft, then climbed aboard, quickly shedding his tunic and breeches. It was too cold to go without them, of course, but even colder to continue to wear them while they were soaked. He needed to dry them quickly.

Using his sword as an oar, Robert began to paddle towards the burning ship, planning to use the fire to warm his clothing...


...when he heard a scream.


Captain Humphrey landed with a splash into the sea.


Shocked and relieved to find the Captain alive...but knowing he wouldn't last long without a leg in these waters...Robert once again dove into the water and began swimming to Humphrey. He wrapped his one arm around the man's chest, and then slowly led him back to the floating piece of wood.

Using up nearly the last of his strength, Robert finally managed to shove the captain up onto the boards...when he felt a nudge from below. He looked down at the source...


...and found himself staring right into the teeth of a sea dog.
 
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Actinguy said:
Fun fact: I suck at writing action scenes. If I had it to do over again, Guines would be the most pacifistic county in the history of Crusader Kings. :D

Alright...here we go...with yet ANOTHER stupid action scene. :rolleyes:

EDIT: Actually...I don't suppose any of you just LOVE writing action scenes, and would enjoy co-writing this AAR? Whenever there's an action scene, I'd hand it off to you with a list of two or three things that needed to happen somewhere within it?

You don't suck at writing action scenes.
 

Actinguy

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@Phargle: Thanks...but I disagree. :D I did have a lot of fun writing the Matilda-Osbern fight scene, because it was so unique (a life-and-death fight between a young boy and girl), and am fairly happy with how it turned out...but the whole pirate scene sucked. And soon I have to write of a whole series of battles...blah.

No wonder France became pacifist. Makes it easier for chroniclers.

:D
 

unmerged(83622)

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Ah, a shark. Just what they needed now. :D

Also, nothing wrong with your action-scenes.