The Blind Emperor

[Grubnessul]

Or how I stopped to learn worrying about my eyes and love the guy who blinded me.

Funny story amidst all the angry Aztec anxiousness

Prince Kosmas was not happy at all. His father would not die and he wanted to become Basileus. So the prince schemed and plotted and got every Doux of the Eastern Roman Empire in his faction to overthrow his father.

Every Doux?

No. One little Doux in Trebizond decided he could not care less about the throne. Moreover, he had some claims on lands of Prince Kosmas. So the clever Doux declared his own war on the Prince. Months later on the steps north of the Caucasus, the Doux fought some troops of the Prince. He could not believe his luck. Amidst a small band of infantry, he captured the Prince in combat. Not fully sure about the game mechanics of Legacy of Rome, the Doux hoped he could end the civil war by blinding the Prince. He was wrong. Soon the blind Prince was made emperor by his victorious troops.

Would the new Basileus use his power for revenging his sight? No. Not a month later, he made the Doux of Trebizond his trusted marshal and Anthypatos.

-The End-

 

[Pelarys]

Wait, what? A non anger related post in these dark ages of a few hours?

 

[Dalewyn]

Cool story, bro.

No really, that's a cool story. I mean it! What happened to the blind emperor and his marshall afterwards?

 

[Grubnessul]

Wait, what? A non anger related post in these dark ages of a few hours?

Yes! A post about happiness, pink fluffy unicorns and red hot irons!

Cool story, bro.

No really, that's a cool story. I mean it! What happened to the blind emperor and his marshall afterwards?

The marshal had to go to bed.

 

[burny26]

The marshal had to go to bed.

WITH his testicles?hmy:

 

[Martinus]

WITH his testicles?hmy:

In a pouch.

 

[Grubnessul]

With his testicles in place!

Clearly he understood it was nothing personal.

 

[The_13th_Ronin]

Maybe the emperor was grateful you spared his life or maybe just pragmatic that you did a good enough job to beat him once so you'd make a great martial?

 

[burny26]

Makes me think of this :
www.youtube.com/watch?v=d2Y0oaq1sdM

 

[Grubnessul]

Makes me think of this :
www.youtube.com/watch?v=d2Y0oaq1sdM

Sadly, Kosmas didn't give me large estates

 

[imperium3]

Maybe the Doux put on a different voice so Basileus the Blinded never realised it was him.

"Alexios, Doux of Trebizond? Nah, that was some other guy."

 

[ZechsMerquise73]

Or how I learned to stop worrying about my eyes and love the guy who blinded me.

Love that movie. Also reminds me of 1984. Bonus!

 

[Grubnessul]

In the end, the blind emperor died of 'complications due to blinding' at a respectable age. The Doux would soon lose Trebizond to the Seljuks (who during a massive civil war invaded and too most of Anatolia), but his heirs would work hard to acquire the crown of Georgia and one day return to their ancestral home.