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Jestor

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Hajji Giray I: Thank you for the high praise! :) Hope the Afterword was to your liking, too. :D And you may have a reason to come back at some later date....

Fiftypence: Thanks. :) It was a fun ride and I loved being able to blend the two together.

J. Passepartout: I'm guessing that's a Hearts reference, where you get nailed with 13 points for having the Queen of Spades? (I don't play the game myself, but I'm familiar with it).
 

unmerged(24320)

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Jestor: ...I don't know what's going to happen after this, but I do know that I've found my beautiful girl at last.

wonderful ending ! ! wonderful AAR ! ! :cool:

MANY THANKS ! !
:)
 

J. Passepartout

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Jestor said:
J. Passepartout: I'm guessing that's a Hearts reference, where you get nailed with 13 points for having the Queen of Spades? (I don't play the game myself, but I'm familiar with it).
Nah, Pushkin/Tchaikovsky reference, actually. I take it you haven't read The Queen of Spades so ignore the fact that I have given away the ending.
 

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You know I figured out a way P-Dox could make oodles of money. If they own these writings they can make a compendium and sell it.

And I have to say this story has been one of the best I have read on P-Dox. Only a few stories have truly come close to it, with fewer still even finished. I just wish I had the artistic ability to do so as well.

I am actually attempting to write a novel but I expect little of it as my writing ability for a novel is actually fairly bad. Meh but this story really gives me some points to work off of.

If you want I could PM you what I plan on doing.
 

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Finally. back online and you go and ... finish the story. OKay so Nick and Melody are engaged - but she's one crazy female and I can't imagine a smooth marriage and

what happens to the de Senmurs?
 

Jestor

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GhostWriter: Thank -you- for reading along and commenting. :)

Prussian_King: Thanks for the praise. :) I've a few ideas in mind, certainly.

J. Passepartout: Consider it forgotten.

billy bob: That's a good idea, though I'm not sure how well it would sell honestly. :) As far as the novel writing difficulties go, that's something that comes only with time and practice. I've been writing AARs/dynasties for games for around 8 or 9 years and when I started, I wasn't very good. The same goes for creative writing in general, or really any endeavour. Potential and talent can only carry so far without practice, practice, practice.

So the best advice I can give you is to write, write, write and read, read, read. Reading as much as you can helps fire the brain with ideas.

Chief Ragusa: All excellent questions... ;)
 

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It´s time for me to write my few comments here. And I guess it won´t be a short post...

First of all, this is one of the most awesome stories I ever got to read. Jestor, you have my respect and deepest appreciation.
You pulled of this story, made it what it is and you suceeded doing so in a way most people could only dream of. It´s truly the work of a genius, everything coming together. But I´ll start where all this began for me.

When I first started to read this story, everything was still fine for me. I accidently found this when looking through the AAR-section in some minutes of boredom and I started reading, anticipated by the somewhat uncommon title.
I read the first few pages in one sweep, before real-life forced me to stop reading for some time and I slowly forgot...

By this time, I was already of the opinion that this is a good AAR, worth reading despite the fact that I´m not the guy who reads through long narrative parts.
But everything matched when I started to read.
The CK-Parts excellently connected with the story-part.
At the beginning, it was quite confusing and caused some of the headache Nick experienced...

However, I forgot this story for sometime, until three weeks ago I was struck by severe problems with girlfriend breaking up with me because of some other guy, loving both and not able to decide which one to take / keep.
After she finally decided to take the other one, I was so depressed that I simply looked for something to do.
In fact, it was in this situation when your AAR came back to my mind.
Hoping for some nice lovestory, I began reading again. After the first few pages, I experienced something that usually only happens with the very best books: I got addicted to reading this.
I read everything, the Story, the comments, the guesses and speculations of the entire readership.

It was a strange experience reading through this story, especially in the state of mind that I was in.
It was like I could perfectly understand, and just didn´t understand at the same time, as Nick is a somewhat different Character than me.
However, somewhere in the middle I had to stop reading for some days, when the letter came and reminded me somewhat of my situation.....
I took my time and started reading from there again, in a better mood, and I got afflicted by it again.

The biggest negative critique I have to let lose on you is the Becky-thing... It was all too quickly, at least when reading the entire story in one part.
She appeared and 2 updates later Nick was soooo fascinated by her and stuff, although he should have though more on Melody instead.
It´s not the general happening that bothers me regarding this, but the speed... At least when reading it.
However, you got this thing rightened after some more updates, so I was finally over it a few pages later, especially as Nick recognized what going on with him...

When it came to the end, I was somehow surprised by the sudden twist, cutting out the CK-Part of the AAR for the sake of the story.
On the one hand, it speeded things up, on the other hand it had really been interesting to see even the AAR-part continue... Because, as much as I looked forward to reading the story-updates, I missed the CK-Part in the end....

Another thing about the end.... I don´t even know how to find the right words, but it was astonishing.
Just the way you managed it to keep the thrilling suspense even in the moment when the suspense was about to fade because of decisions made (especially mentioning the "choose your girl"-part at the Suchet-Party - it was intense, and I really really hoped it´d be Melody... and then you came up with using "she" instead of the name - I almost died ^^)

The duel... well... I don´t quite know what to say. That was impressive. Really impressive.
Especially as you switched the view and gave us a look into the different perspectives - It was like watching a film. It was like a screenplay for the cinema in my head.

At this point, I had already started to feel with Nick for almost 25 pages. It was not always the understanding of his actions, indeed, in certain situations I was shocked about his behaviour, but it was always those emotional parts that made me literally melt away.
Scenes like Melody showing her gems, the first weekend they spent together, the letter, the dance at the party and so on - those were the really intense ones, that made up for everything that sometimes bothered me.

But back to the duel...
Perfectly inscenated, perfectly executed and with a surprising end. With an awesome end.
I especially liked that everything came together - even small details from the beginning: Terry calling.
This was really impressive!
And in the end, love prevailed...
We all know that life´s not always that way - but it is just like there could not have been a different ending.
Not really, at least.
Not satisfying in any way.
In a moment of fascinated reading, I had tears in my eyes, although I´m not that emotional for normal.
But this really dragged me into itself...

There´s no way I could have been in this state of mind if any other ending had been chosen.

Thus, I have to bow before you, Jestor, for you have written this wonderful tale that I may never forget. It gave me a distraction, a warm shelter in one of the worst times I ever experienced, it helped getting rid of some of the worries I had.

As everytime I finish reading an excellent story, I somehow regret that it has endet... Reading such stories is just like wanting to go on reading forever :)

Well, this AAR does not only deserve the title of "best overall CK AAR" - but "best overall AAR"
Unfortunately, this category does not really exist yet.


However, in my opinion it is the best overall AAR I´ve read so far.

And I´ll stop here for now, of course eagerly awaiting the next AAR you´ll write.

Sincerely,
Robert
 

Jestor

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Black Guardian said:
It´s time for me to write my few comments here. And I guess it won´t be a short post...

First of all, this is one of the most awesome stories I ever got to read. Jestor, you have my respect and deepest appreciation.
You pulled of this story, made it what it is and you suceeded doing so in a way most people could only dream of. It´s truly the work of a genius, everything coming together. But I´ll start where all this began for me.
Thank you very much for the kind words. :) I don't know if I'd call it genius or not (and I certainly wouldn't call myself one), but I'm glad you think so.

When I first started to read this story, everything was still fine for me. I accidently found this when looking through the AAR-section in some minutes of boredom and I started reading, anticipated by the somewhat uncommon title.
I read the first few pages in one sweep, before real-life forced me to stop reading for some time and I slowly forgot...
Understandable. I, too, have lost track of AARs I've initially followed. Sometimes I get back to them, most times I don't (a bad habit of mine, I admit).

By this time, I was already of the opinion that this is a good AAR, worth reading despite the fact that I´m not the guy who reads through long narrative parts.
But everything matched when I started to read.
The CK-Parts excellently connected with the story-part.
At the beginning, it was quite confusing and caused some of the headache Nick experienced...
That's one of the pitfalls of my AAR style. Things tend to be a bit convulted and confusing at first until I gradually figure out what's going on and everything sorts itself out.

However, I forgot this story for sometime, until three weeks ago I was struck by severe problems with girlfriend breaking up with me because of some other guy, loving both and not able to decide which one to take / keep.
After she finally decided to take the other one, I was so depressed that I simply looked for something to do.
In fact, it was in this situation when your AAR came back to my mind.
Hoping for some nice lovestory, I began reading again. After the first few pages, I experienced something that usually only happens with the very best books: I got addicted to reading this.
I read everything, the Story, the comments, the guesses and speculations of the entire readership.
I'm very sorry for your lost love. :( I know all too well the pain of that. But I'm extremely flattered that you got hooked on it. :) Especially for someone who doesn't normally get engaged by narrative AARs.

It was a strange experience reading through this story, especially in the state of mind that I was in.
It was like I could perfectly understand, and just didn´t understand at the same time, as Nick is a somewhat different Character than me.
However, somewhere in the middle I had to stop reading for some days, when the letter came and reminded me somewhat of my situation.....
I took my time and started reading from there again, in a better mood, and I got afflicted by it again.
Reminds me of the time I wound up yanking Chasing Amy out of the VHS player and flinging it across the room because it was too painful, my first girlfriend having broken up with me for her girlfriend. So I understand completely.

The biggest negative critique I have to let lose on you is the Becky-thing... It was all too quickly, at least when reading the entire story in one part.
She appeared and 2 updates later Nick was soooo fascinated by her and stuff, although he should have though more on Melody instead.
It´s not the general happening that bothers me regarding this, but the speed... At least when reading it.
However, you got this thing rightened after some more updates, so I was finally over it a few pages later, especially as Nick recognized what going on with him...
I still struggle with pacing and pacing and action are probably the weakest points of my writing as it stands. You're quite fair to criticize me for it, though in my own defense, I look at Becky as a reflexive rebound crush by Nick and I also think he knew her before. On the other hand, I find myself a little irritated upon re-reading that Becky echoed Melody a bit too much, so you're again right to criticize me on it. :)

When it came to the end, I was somehow surprised by the sudden twist, cutting out the CK-Part of the AAR for the sake of the story.
On the one hand, it speeded things up, on the other hand it had really been interesting to see even the AAR-part continue... Because, as much as I looked forward to reading the story-updates, I missed the CK-Part in the end....
As you no doubt read, you weren't alone in that camp. But I needed to do it, as I was starting to get fatigued playing the CK portion of it and wanted to get the AAR wrapped up, particularly since I was starting to lose the sense of the story and its characters.

Another thing about the end.... I don´t even know how to find the right words, but it was astonishing.
Just the way you managed it to keep the thrilling suspense even in the moment when the suspense was about to fade because of decisions made (especially mentioning the "choose your girl"-part at the Suchet-Party - it was intense, and I really really hoped it´d be Melody... and then you came up with using "she" instead of the name - I almost died ^^)
This was literally the result of months of thought and playing around with different scenarios. The girl-selection and dance scene were, as I noted before, originally intended to be the conclusion of the AAR, until the duel somehow made its appearance.

The duel... well... I don´t quite know what to say. That was impressive. Really impressive.
Especially as you switched the view and gave us a look into the different perspectives - It was like watching a film. It was like a screenplay for the cinema in my head.
That's exactly how I pictured it as I was writing the duel scenes, as a movie, so I'm glad that sense got across. I deliberately pared down the prose to try and create that cinematic effect.

At this point, I had already started to feel with Nick for almost 25 pages. It was not always the understanding of his actions, indeed, in certain situations I was shocked about his behaviour, but it was always those emotional parts that made me literally melt away.
Scenes like Melody showing her gems, the first weekend they spent together, the letter, the dance at the party and so on - those were the really intense ones, that made up for everything that sometimes bothered me.
Those were my favorite scenes as well, both to write and to read, particularly the gem scene and the letter.

But back to the duel...
Perfectly inscenated, perfectly executed and with a surprising end. With an awesome end.
I especially liked that everything came together - even small details from the beginning: Terry calling.
This was really impressive!
And in the end, love prevailed...
We all know that life´s not always that way - but it is just like there could not have been a different ending.
Not really, at least.
Not satisfying in any way.
In a moment of fascinated reading, I had tears in my eyes, although I´m not that emotional for normal.
But this really dragged me into itself...
I'm amazed that you had it affect you the way it did and I'm flattered that it did. Terry calling was a spur of the moment addition that may have been contrived, but it worked fairly well I think. My favorite part about that concluding scene was the "You're my Paraiba tourmaline" line. It's a line that I could see being said on the screen and becoming an instant classic.

There´s no way I could have been in this state of mind if any other ending had been chosen.

Thus, I have to bow before you, Jestor, for you have written this wonderful tale that I may never forget. It gave me a distraction, a warm shelter in one of the worst times I ever experienced, it helped getting rid of some of the worries I had.

As everytime I finish reading an excellent story, I somehow regret that it has endet... Reading such stories is just like wanting to go on reading forever :)

Well, this AAR does not only deserve the title of "best overall CK AAR" - but "best overall AAR"
Unfortunately, this category does not really exist yet.


However, in my opinion it is the best overall AAR I´ve read so far.

And I´ll stop here for now, of course eagerly awaiting the next AAR you´ll write.

Sincerely,
Robert
I'm grateful to you for taking the time to include this response. It's an incredible feeling for a writer to know that one of their works has impacted a reader to the degree that my little tale has you.

I'm glad it was able to serve as a catharsis for you during some rough times and I look forward to seeing you around for my next AAR. :) (Which is already started ;)
 

unmerged(60841)

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Bravo all around. I missed some aprts of this but I'm glad I caught the end. Very well-drawn characters, and I think everyone will remember Ms. Suchet for some time to come. On the whole, I'd say your characters and dialogue are your primary strengths as a writer- you have a particular knack to write foils well. Hope the Masters is going well. Now I'll read the new one.
 

Jestor

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JimboIX said:
Bravo all around. I missed some aprts of this but I'm glad I caught the end. Very well-drawn characters, and I think everyone will remember Ms. Suchet for some time to come. On the whole, I'd say your characters and dialogue are your primary strengths as a writer- you have a particular knack to write foils well. Hope the Masters is going well. Now I'll read the new one.
Thank you. :) I credit my archetypal Gemini personality for the ability to write foils. :D The Masters is going pretty well so far, though grading papers is proving a real pain so far.

I think I'm going to go for my MFA after this, as the PhD seems to me to lead down a road where I suffer from paralysis of the creativity due to overload on the intellect.
 

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dola,

The ACA awards are up and this AAR does qualify, I think.

So let's give it one last hurrah. :D

Or if not, that's fine too. Just vote!

By the way, does anyone know when the CrusadAAR's Chalice is up again?
 

Jestor

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Heh, so I've only been playing CK for a couple of months, and I saw the nomination thread (mentioned in the previous post).

Glad I saw it. I've spend every hour of free-time I had on the past 5 days to read this AAR. I didn't have many, so I ended up sleeping a lot less than I should have, because I simply couldn't stop reading this. I only slept 3 or 4 hours this night because I had to finish reading this ARR.

It is my opinion that this is indeed the best AAR I ever read.


Absolutely brilliant. ;)
 

Alfred Packer

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Heh, so I've only been playing CK for a couple of months, and I saw the nomination thread (mentioned in the previous post).

Glad I saw it. I've spend every hour of free-time I had on the past 5 days to read this AAR. I didn't have many, so I ended up sleeping a lot less than I should have, because I simply couldn't stop reading this. I only slept 3 or 4 hours this night because I had to finish reading this ARR.

It is my opinion that this is indeed the best AAR I ever read.


Absolutely brilliant. ;)
;) Since you've found the best AAR, you should probably share that opinion (and you're vote!) right here!
 

Johan11

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Still reading through the first pages.

Very interesting reading. Will be trying to catch up....
 

Jestor

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Cromelex: Thanks for the high praise! :) I know well what it's like to be consumed by an AAR like that. :D

Alfred Packer: Thanks for the link. :)

Johan11: Hope you continue enjoying it. :)

Note To All
One of the nominees was accidentally left off the original voting thread, it seems, so they've reset it.

http://forum.paradoxplaza.com/forum/showthread.php?t=396947

There's the link. Click on it and vote! Whether it's for me or for someone else! :)
 

Johan11

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Whew.....

As to quote GhosttWrier: Awesome!

20 pages to go! Reading very slowlyyy