• Crusader Kings III Available Now!

    The realm rejoices as Paradox Interactive announces the launch of Crusader Kings III, the latest entry in the publisher’s grand strategy role-playing game franchise. Advisors may now jockey for positions of influence and adversaries should save their schemes for another day, because on this day Crusader Kings III can be purchased on Steam, the Paradox Store, and other major online retailers.


    Real Strategy Requires Cunning

Enewald

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Still I fear. :p
Mount and Blade is a fine game I say.
 

Valhallas Call

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Giorgi 'Sevatosi' Bagratuni - Part VIII (for realz)

BEHOLD!



Castle Bagrat is complete!




MUAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!




In other news, Helene finished her edumacation. It looks like she's going to be good at diplomatical talkamizations.




Less than a week later, my eldest son and heir Teimuraz The-Not-Quite-So-Awesome-As-His-Father-Giorgi-Who-Is-Extremely-Awesome Bagratuni comes of age, and I - WHOA




SWEET JESUS, I MADE A GOOD-LOOKING KID!




Anyway, I immediately have him wed to Helene, before my nephew Nino tries to abduct her again.




Oh, well, this... is definitely not awesome news. What exactly is a pettifogger, anyways?!?! It does not sound awesome at all.




Wasn't his marshal skill like 11 two seconds ago? Meh. I would blame myself for raising him, but I sure as hell won't. I am simply too awesome, I did all I could for the boy, my awesomeness just didn't rub off correctly on him. Ah well.




I give him the title of Prince of Abghazia as a wedding gift, and I throw in Kasogs for good measure! Have fun trying to sway those hairy, unwashed barbarians away from Jeff God of Biscuits, son! Now I finally will be able to go to the privy without some messenger barging in on me doing my awesome business with news of another revolt in Kasogs!




So toward the end of 1086 we're pretty much doing awesome. We're raking in craploads of cash, stability's great, the army's growing, and overall, I think it's almost time to throw it all away with another war!​
 

unmerged(59077)

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Pettifoger. Sounds like something Starbucks would sell.
 

Murmurandus

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Yup, definitely time to start a war...:D
 

Johan11

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Weeeeeeeee!!

More Insanity!!!!!

I love this AAR!
 

Valhallas Call

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Giorgi 'Sevatosi' Bagratuni - Part IX



Awwwww, Tourettes made a friend.




SON OF BACKWASHI!
He seems decent enough. Nowhere near as awesome as I am, to be sure. He also has a rivalry with my son, which may or may not become a major plot device some time in the future... maybe.




Oh yeah, I still got it!




I send Tourettes to foster with the Bishop of Semender. It was a difficult decision between him and a few other bishops, but it all boiled down to the fact that he has the same first name as me, and therefore is possibly awesome (though not as awesome as I am, of course).




Great Success!




I am almost positive that the war between the Alan Rickmans and the Khazars has been going on for, like, a bajillion years, and STILL nothing has happened. Wait, what's this...




Oh my! Prince Durgalurgamurgafurg has died, and his son Yas... Yasy... Yassir Arafat is now prince! I'm also in the line of succession, which is pretty nifty. I could be all sneaky-like and kill the other two schmucks that are ahead of me, but sneaky =/= awesome.




AWESOME = discovering you have a claim on his title!




WOOP!




Seriously? We've been at war for, like, only ten days and I already have to sell buildings? CURSE YOU, MONEY, FOR RUINING MY FUN!




Meh, another daughter? Well, at least she's not inbred.




That same day, I offer terms to Yassir Arafat. This news is much more awes - NO, HELENA, I DON'T WANT TO HOLD THE FREAKING BABY!




AWESOME.
 

Murmurandus

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Coolness Awesomeness Niftyness Great Successness!!!:D
 

unmerged(59077)

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Applying the one-state solution to the Caucasus, i see.
 

Enewald

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Alania remains independent?
Shame.
Send them some inbred kids.
 

Johan11

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Valhalla's Call;9721775That same day said:
NO, HELENA, I DON'T WANT TO HOLD THE FREAKING BABY![/B]

Eeeeehh..... Right.........

I love this. I really really really love this
 

Valhallas Call

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Coolness Awesomeness Niftyness Great Successness!!!:D
Indeed. :D

Applying the one-state solution to the Caucasus, i see.
Oh yes. I forget if I achieve fully uniting the Caucasus with Giorgi or his successor, though (probably Giorgi, after this last update we're officially half-way through his reign)

Alania remains independent?
Shame.
Send them some inbred kids.
Not for long!

Eeeeehh..... Right.........

I love this. I really really really love this
Thank you!




So I did some research on the Wikiped and found out our dear Giorgi is actually Giorgi II, and historically he was actually pretty lame: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/George_II_of_Georgia

Update forthcoming either today or tomorrow!
 

Valhallas Call

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Giorgi 'Sevatosi' Bagratuni - Part X



I kinda forgot to strip away Yassir Arafat's personal lands. My bad.




Jeez, what an ass.




So my oldest daughter finally comes of age and promptly comes down with pneumonia. Definitely not awesome. I need to marry her off quick before she kicks the bucket!




Soooo remember when I had a ridiculously awesome amount of surplus gold to fund my war against the Alan Rickmans? Me neither.




These Hungarians seem really, really lost. I think they took a wrong turn at, oh, I dunno, Europe. Like, all of it.




I marry Ripsime off to some random Rurikovich, whose name I don't even know because he's definitely not awesome... and I forgot to take a screenshot of him. But his name doesn't really matter anyway, because A.) there are like six hundred kajillion Rurikoviches, B.) Ripsime's likely to hack up a lung and die within a year (not that I told her husband and father-in-law that!) and C.) I got a nice happy lump sum of cash moniez from the deal! AWESOME.




The rebellion in Kasogs has finally ended. I hope my son didn't cave in to the Jeff God of Biscuits cultists... if he did, I'm heading over to Abkazhia and giving him a stern talking-to about the differences between AWESOME and NOT AWESOME.




My marshall's daughter, Shawshank Redemption Iagaris, comes of age. Quite the looker, really. I thought about marrying her off to my other son, then I remembered that my other son is Tourrettes.





In other news, Kartli can't seem to catch a break. First they had to sell their huge tile-making industrial complexes, and now their farmers ran out of poop.
 

unmerged(59077)

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Not enough manure? I thought this was the middle ages and the damn stuff was everywhere!