While waiting for the next update you can check out my nice AAR. It involves Italians...
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Weeeellll sir, I am drowning in school, meeeellllltiiiiing, er wait no, drowning. "Well if you are posting this why aren't you playing now?" I am getting ready to go out right now thank you very much. I have tried to continue on a few times but it always had the same result, a slightly magnified off center shot of my desktop so I decided to concentrate on my studies, you know how it is. However, I could forsee playing sometime soon.
"J'me appelle [name omitted], je suis alcoolique."
"J'me appelle [name omitted], je suis alcoolique."
This is really really really embarassing but...I lost my cd, I've been looking for it since mid Sep. and that is why I haven't been updating this. Maybe if I cleaned this room.
Edit:OH MY GOD I AM SUCH AN IDIOT it was in my *drumroll* CD case! This whole time I had thought it looked like the paradox logo......*slap*
Edit:OH MY GOD I AM SUCH AN IDIOT it was in my *drumroll* CD case! This whole time I had thought it looked like the paradox logo......*slap*
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"Sir...sir wake up"
"...unnh I keep telling you I thought your wife was the Queen of Uzbekistan...."
"SIR!"
"AHHHH WHAT?!"
"Sir you've been asleep for months."
"Oh no this isn't going to be like that Bob Newhart show where it was a dream and I am a psychiatrist or something?"
"Sir, I hate you."
"Well I guess that settles that then."
The year was 1546 the month was July, the day was..2?
Our "glorious" (*laugh track*) nation had just annexed the Crimea and was still at war with Persia (Who had a trading post and a lvl 1 colony directly adjacent to the former Sibir) I instruct my awaiting scout unit (1k cav) to burn the trading post. The Persians decline my peace offer after slaughtering their traders...jerks.
September 10- I tell a merchant to go downtown to our COT, he says "No you forgot to say the magic word." I appologize and ask him to "please go to our COT." he says "Certainly."
Sep 13- I disband our navy in Crimea, none of our men can swim and it apparently "costs money" to "maintain" a navy, pfffft
Nov 25- Someone knocks on my door and runs away, when I go out to see who it is they have left an army of 5500 infantry and 1100 cavalry in a wicker basket with some nice fruit preserves, my beard is red with appreciation (random event)
Dec 3- The Persians reject peace, again [expletive deleted]
Dec 25- Something called England pays 175d to Scotland I dance The Dance of The Night Sandwhich in total apathy of these events
1547
Jan 1- This Scotland becomes Protestant, they'll get theirs right after Russia and Poland and Turkey and Austria and Hungary and Denmark and Sweden and Bavaria and Greece and Serbia and Persia and the Uzbeks and France and Lorraine and Savoie and Cologne and Hamburg and....
Jan 3- I finish listing the order of the countries that will get theirs and order that a fortress be upgraded in Volgograd
Feb 6- oooooooooooooooooooh fantastic the Persians generously accept a white peace
Mar 16- Inspired by my benevolence France and Austria sign a similar peace, always trying to copy me sheesh
Apr 4- Savoy is vassalized by the French, I protest outside but no one can read whatever the language is that I....I admit it I can't read or write
Apr 5- Wait a minute how would I be writing this if I couldn't read or write, I CAN read and write, crisis averted
May 1- Some uprising in Lugansk ends (I usually just let winter attrition end my uprisings because I am lazy)
1548
Jan 1- A man called Calvin says some things....I add him to THE LIST!
Jul 29- Spain annexes the Aztec empire, I dye my beard a furious red and send a messanger my message says "I had dibs on that, DIBS! I called it this is so unfair!"
Sep 6- Unhappy with my failure to capture the Aztec Empire the people are unhappy (+5 revolt risk)
Nov 1- ...and how there's a revolt in Lugansk, I'll crush this one
1549
Feb 1-
"Sir the pesants in Kalmuk are revolting."
"They sure are! Hahahahaha you see I took revolting and changed it from a verb to an adjective, I call it a pun."
"Sir that is stupid."
"We'll see about that send a note about 'puns' to my friend Bill in England, I tell you it'll be huge I'll go down in literary history."
Apr 1- Lugansk revolt, again...fine that's just FINE it's not like it hurts me when they do that. You know, I have feelings to and what does it say about me when they revolt? Huh? That I'm not good enough, and that really really hurts *sheds a tear*
Aug 20- I write some poetry and sip hot water under a shady tree while my troops retake Kalmuk. My new army arrives, 10 shiny guns and four thousand not so much shiny but very dirty men arrives to join us in Kalmuk
Nov 7- Lugansk is retaken, I order the 13k new infantry from Astrakahn to meet with my main army in Volgograd
Dec 1- The Netherlands is declared, it is at war with Spain and Cologne
Dec [the month]- in other news Hungary, Moldavia, Serbia, and Austria go to war with Turkey and Wallachia
oh and also
France, Savoy, Britanny, Navarra, The Hafsid Empire, Genoa, and Bavaria all go to war with.......Lorraine (you'll like what happens)
1550
Jan 1- Volgograd revolts but my army is there so nyah!
Jun 30- The Netherlands pays 30d to Spain and ends its war
Mar 1- Volgograd revolts, again
1551
Jan 1- Volgograd revolts, agaaaaain *counts backward from 10*
Feb 21- I promote a legal counsel in Astrakahn
Apr 1- Kouban and Uralsk revolt, when i hear this I spill my water all over the Swedeish embassador, I guess a Swede-Tartar alliance is out of the question....shazbot
Apr 29- Uralski revolt is put down, this is getting slightly annoying
Jun 9- Volgograd revolts, crushed on the spot
Oct 3- Kouban finally is retaken sheesh
Dec 1- Good news I dye my beard with...Land Tech 6? (Land tech 6)
1552
Nov 3- The French alliance gives Lorraine status quo peace (AHAHAHAHAHHAHAHA!)
"...unnh I keep telling you I thought your wife was the Queen of Uzbekistan...."
"SIR!"
"AHHHH WHAT?!"
"Sir you've been asleep for months."
"Oh no this isn't going to be like that Bob Newhart show where it was a dream and I am a psychiatrist or something?"
"Sir, I hate you."
"Well I guess that settles that then."
The year was 1546 the month was July, the day was..2?
Our "glorious" (*laugh track*) nation had just annexed the Crimea and was still at war with Persia (Who had a trading post and a lvl 1 colony directly adjacent to the former Sibir) I instruct my awaiting scout unit (1k cav) to burn the trading post. The Persians decline my peace offer after slaughtering their traders...jerks.
September 10- I tell a merchant to go downtown to our COT, he says "No you forgot to say the magic word." I appologize and ask him to "please go to our COT." he says "Certainly."
Sep 13- I disband our navy in Crimea, none of our men can swim and it apparently "costs money" to "maintain" a navy, pfffft
Nov 25- Someone knocks on my door and runs away, when I go out to see who it is they have left an army of 5500 infantry and 1100 cavalry in a wicker basket with some nice fruit preserves, my beard is red with appreciation (random event)
Dec 3- The Persians reject peace, again [expletive deleted]
Dec 25- Something called England pays 175d to Scotland I dance The Dance of The Night Sandwhich in total apathy of these events
1547
Jan 1- This Scotland becomes Protestant, they'll get theirs right after Russia and Poland and Turkey and Austria and Hungary and Denmark and Sweden and Bavaria and Greece and Serbia and Persia and the Uzbeks and France and Lorraine and Savoie and Cologne and Hamburg and....
Jan 3- I finish listing the order of the countries that will get theirs and order that a fortress be upgraded in Volgograd
Feb 6- oooooooooooooooooooh fantastic the Persians generously accept a white peace
Mar 16- Inspired by my benevolence France and Austria sign a similar peace, always trying to copy me sheesh
Apr 4- Savoy is vassalized by the French, I protest outside but no one can read whatever the language is that I....I admit it I can't read or write
Apr 5- Wait a minute how would I be writing this if I couldn't read or write, I CAN read and write, crisis averted
May 1- Some uprising in Lugansk ends (I usually just let winter attrition end my uprisings because I am lazy)
1548
Jan 1- A man called Calvin says some things....I add him to THE LIST!
Jul 29- Spain annexes the Aztec empire, I dye my beard a furious red and send a messanger my message says "I had dibs on that, DIBS! I called it this is so unfair!"
Sep 6- Unhappy with my failure to capture the Aztec Empire the people are unhappy (+5 revolt risk)
Nov 1- ...and how there's a revolt in Lugansk, I'll crush this one
1549
Feb 1-
"Sir the pesants in Kalmuk are revolting."
"They sure are! Hahahahaha you see I took revolting and changed it from a verb to an adjective, I call it a pun."
"Sir that is stupid."
"We'll see about that send a note about 'puns' to my friend Bill in England, I tell you it'll be huge I'll go down in literary history."
Apr 1- Lugansk revolt, again...fine that's just FINE it's not like it hurts me when they do that. You know, I have feelings to and what does it say about me when they revolt? Huh? That I'm not good enough, and that really really hurts *sheds a tear*
Aug 20- I write some poetry and sip hot water under a shady tree while my troops retake Kalmuk. My new army arrives, 10 shiny guns and four thousand not so much shiny but very dirty men arrives to join us in Kalmuk
Nov 7- Lugansk is retaken, I order the 13k new infantry from Astrakahn to meet with my main army in Volgograd
Dec 1- The Netherlands is declared, it is at war with Spain and Cologne
Dec [the month]- in other news Hungary, Moldavia, Serbia, and Austria go to war with Turkey and Wallachia
oh and also
France, Savoy, Britanny, Navarra, The Hafsid Empire, Genoa, and Bavaria all go to war with.......Lorraine (you'll like what happens)
1550
Jan 1- Volgograd revolts but my army is there so nyah!
Jun 30- The Netherlands pays 30d to Spain and ends its war
Mar 1-
Volgograd revolts, again1551
Jan 1- Volgograd revolts, agaaaaain *counts backward from 10*
Feb 21- I promote a legal counsel in Astrakahn
Apr 1- Kouban and Uralsk revolt, when i hear this I spill my water all over the Swedeish embassador, I guess a Swede-Tartar alliance is out of the question....shazbot
Apr 29- Uralski revolt is put down, this is getting slightly annoying
Jun 9- Volgograd revolts, crushed on the spot
Oct 3- Kouban finally is retaken sheesh
Dec 1- Good news I dye my beard with...Land Tech 6? (Land tech 6)
1552
Nov 3- The French alliance gives Lorraine status quo peace (AHAHAHAHAHHAHAHA!)
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Having temporarily stumbled into the wrong forum our intrepid hero, after doin his own personal version of the Oddesy (our intrepid hero sucks at spelling) mixed w/Paradise Lost, finally returns to the proper forum after being laughed out of the "non beard dyeing" people of the Golden Horde (kindof an oxymoron isn't it?)
Hooray for me!!! Hooray for the, uhhhh, Astrakanites??? I've found my people!!! Yeah Me!!! Hand me the Ms Clairol for the time has come to dye the beard a shade of lavinder in celebration!!!
[stumbles out of the forum dancing the Dance of Embarrasing Mistakes Being Brought Pointed Out And Causing Ridicule To Be Heaped Upon Oneself] needless to say, one is quite tired after dancing that little jig...
nice to see the AAR ride agin...
Hooray for me!!! Hooray for the, uhhhh, Astrakanites??? I've found my people!!! Yeah Me!!! Hand me the Ms Clairol for the time has come to dye the beard a shade of lavinder in celebration!!!
[stumbles out of the forum dancing the Dance of Embarrasing Mistakes Being Brought Pointed Out And Causing Ridicule To Be Heaped Upon Oneself] needless to say, one is quite tired after dancing that little jig...
nice to see the AAR ride agin...