• Hearts of Iron IV Survey

    Help us make HoI IV better by sharing your experiences in this 5 minute survey


  • Crusader Kings III Available Now!

    The realm rejoices as Paradox Interactive announces the launch of Crusader Kings III, the latest entry in the publisher’s grand strategy role-playing game franchise. Advisors may now jockey for positions of influence and adversaries should save their schemes for another day, because on this day Crusader Kings III can be purchased on Steam, the Paradox Store, and other major online retailers.


    Real Strategy Requires Cunning

Alfred Packer

Off Again
42 Badges
Jun 3, 2007
2.251
261
  • Rise of Prussia
  • Europa Universalis III Complete
  • Victoria: Revolutions
  • Europa Universalis: Rome
  • Semper Fi
  • Victoria 2
  • Victoria 2: A House Divided
  • Victoria 2: Heart of Darkness
  • Rome: Vae Victis
  • 500k Club
  • Europa Universalis IV: Pre-order
  • Europa Universalis III Complete
  • Mount & Blade: With Fire and Sword
  • Crusader Kings II: Way of Life
  • Crusader Kings II: Horse Lords
  • Crusader Kings II: Conclave
  • Crusader Kings II: Reapers Due
  • Tyranny: Archon Edition
  • Crusader Kings II: Monks and Mystics
  • Crusader Kings II: Jade Dragon
  • Crusader Kings II: Holy Fury
  • Europa Universalis III
  • Crusader Kings II
  • Crusader Kings II: Charlemagne
  • Crusader Kings II: Legacy of Rome
  • Crusader Kings II: The Old Gods
  • Crusader Kings II: Rajas of India
  • Crusader Kings II: The Republic
  • Crusader Kings II: Sons of Abraham
  • Crusader Kings II: Sunset Invasion
  • Crusader Kings II: Sword of Islam
  • Deus Vult
  • Hearts of Iron II: Armageddon
  • Europa Universalis III: Chronicles
  • Divine Wind
  • Europa Universalis IV
  • Europa Universalis IV: Art of War
  • Europa Universalis IV: Conquest of Paradise
  • For the Motherland
  • Hearts of Iron III
  • Hearts of Iron III: Their Finest Hour
  • Heir to the Throne
I guess they don't know it is BC yet.

Archidamus Eurpontid

King of Sparta



Taking Stock, 1 January 474 AUC to 20 January 474 AUC





01-01.jpg






Hello, I am Archidamus. I am King of Sparta. We used to be pretty big shots, but, well. Let’s just say our ship has sailed. For example, we don’t date from our big wins over Persia and Athens. We don’t date from our big losses to Thebes or even Thebes’ humiliating defeat at Macedon’s hands. No, our calendar is based on when the City of Rome was founded. I don’t even know where Rome is!

Not only that, but the King of Sparta, me, is an orphan.




01-02.jpg






Here is my son Eudamidas. He is more popular than I am even though he looks like someone just shot his dog. And I mean all the time.





01-03.jpg






Aannnd this is Sparta. Yeah, we don’t yell that anymore. Not since we lost all those great Helots. It’s not as easy to be warrior-heroes when you have to darn your own socks. Plus, our bottomless well caved in.





01-04.jpg






Even the hated Achean League has a larger army and richer lands. Well, they don’t know we hate them yet, but if we are going to restore glory to Sparta, we need enemies right?






01-05.jpg






Oh yes, I also command the army. All 1,000 of them.






01-06.jpg






My son commands our boat.





01-07.jpg






I would offer a sacrifice to the gods to get their support for my plan to restore Sparta to greatness, but we are so poor, our sacrifices would only insult them.

So, we are on our own.




01-08.jpg





My diplomatic initiatives are not off to the great start I had hoped for.

Poor Eudamidas. He was hoping we could use the wood to build a second boat.






01-09.jpg






Well, we do have one trade route. With my secret enemies the Achean League. I’m selling them the supplies they will need to raise effective Heavy Infantry.

I’m really not good at this.







01-10.jpg






This is my new wife Eirene. When you are King of Sparta, you can’t be too choosy.




Archidamus has set a worthy goal! Restore Sparta to greatness. However, is he the right man for the job? Is his son? Does it even matter? Join us next time as Eudamidas pretends not to be grossed out that his step-mom is younger than he is on the next exciting episode of The Adventures of House Eurpontid!
 

coz1

GunslingAAR
29 Badges
May 16, 2002
13.727
286
hearthehurd.typepad.com
  • Victoria: Revolutions
  • Crusader Kings III
  • Imperator: Rome
  • Imperator: Rome Deluxe Edition
  • Crusader Kings II: Holy Fury
  • Crusader Kings II: Jade Dragon
  • PDXCon 2017 Awards Winner
  • Crusader Kings II: Monks and Mystics
  • Crusader Kings II: Reapers Due
  • Crusader Kings II: Conclave
  • Europa Universalis: Rome Collectors Edition
  • Europa Universalis III: Collection
  • 500k Club
  • 200k Club
  • Europa Universalis: Rome
  • Crusader Kings II
  • Europa Universalis III Complete
  • For The Glory
  • Europa Universalis IV
  • Europa Universalis III
  • Deus Vult
  • Crusader Kings II: Sword of Islam
  • Crusader Kings II: Sunset Invasion
  • Crusader Kings II: Sons of Abraham
  • Crusader Kings II: The Republic
  • Crusader Kings II: Rajas of India
  • Crusader Kings II: The Old Gods
  • Crusader Kings II: Legacy of Rome
  • Crusader Kings II: Charlemagne
Another Sparta AAR. How did I know this would be a popular one. At least you don't shout it anymore. ;) Good luck, AP. May the Gods be with you (when you can afford them.) :D
 

Phax

First Lieutenant
46 Badges
Oct 12, 2003
259
0
  • Stellaris: Humanoids Species Pack
  • Hearts of Iron IV: Together for Victory
  • Stellaris - Path to Destruction bundle
  • Cities: Skylines - Mass Transit
  • Europa Universalis IV: Mandate of Heaven
  • Europa Universalis IV: Third Rome
  • Hearts of Iron IV: Death or Dishonor
  • Stellaris: Synthetic Dawn
  • Age of Wonders III
  • Cities: Skylines - Green Cities
  • Europa Universalis IV: Cradle of Civilization
  • Hearts of Iron IV: Expansion Pass
  • Stellaris: Leviathans Story Pack
  • Stellaris: Apocalypse
  • Europa Universalis IV: Rule Britannia
  • Cities: Skylines - Parklife Pre-Order
  • Cities: Skylines - Parklife
  • Europa Universalis IV: Dharma
  • Cities: Skylines Industries
  • Stellaris: Megacorp
  • Europa Universalis IV: Golden Century
  • Hearts of Iron IV: Expansion Pass
  • Hearts of Iron IV: La Resistance
  • Europa Universalis IV: Common Sense
  • Crusader Kings II
  • Europa Universalis IV
  • Europa Universalis IV: Art of War
  • Europa Universalis IV: Conquest of Paradise
  • Europa Universalis IV: Wealth of Nations
  • Hearts of Iron III
  • Europa Universalis IV: Res Publica
  • Europa Universalis: Rome
  • 500k Club
  • Cities: Skylines
  • Europa Universalis IV: El Dorado
  • Hearts of Iron II: Armageddon
  • Cities: Skylines - After Dark
  • Europa Universalis IV: Cossacks
  • Cities: Skylines - Snowfall
  • Europa Universalis IV: Mare Nostrum
  • Stellaris
  • Stellaris: Galaxy Edition
  • Stellaris: Galaxy Edition
  • Hearts of Iron IV: Cadet
  • Europa Universalis IV: Rights of Man
  • Stellaris: Digital Anniversary Edition
There is no such thing as too many spAARtans.
 

Berrrie

Captain
11 Badges
Sep 22, 2006
356
0
  • Hearts of Iron Anthology
  • East India Company
  • Europa Universalis III Complete
  • Hearts of Iron III
  • Heir to the Throne
  • Europa Universalis III Complete
  • Europa Universalis III Complete
  • Semper Fi
  • 200k Club
  • 500k Club
  • Europa Universalis IV: Common Sense
In your universe, Sparta and its leaders seem rather... dull. Try to get something done with those losers... :rolleyes:

I like this AAR already! :D
 

pit

Looking back 08/05/04 18/08/06
7 Badges
Feb 6, 2001
283
0
  • Europa Universalis III
  • Hearts of Iron IV: Cadet
  • Hearts of Iron IV: Together for Victory
  • Hearts of Iron IV: Expansion Pass
  • 500k Club
  • Imperator: Rome Deluxe Edition
  • Imperator: Rome
mmm nice start
 

General_BT

Blasted Conniving Roman
96 Badges
Apr 20, 2007
1.711
92
  • Europa Universalis: Rome
  • King Arthur II
  • Knights of Pen and Paper +1 Edition
  • Lead and Gold
  • Leviathan: Warships
  • The Kings Crusade
  • Magicka
  • Majesty 2
  • Majesty 2 Collection
  • March of the Eagles
  • Naval War: Arctic Circle
  • Europa Universalis IV: Res Publica
  • Victoria: Revolutions
  • Impire
  • Rome Gold
  • Semper Fi
  • Ship Simulator Extremes
  • Sword of the Stars
  • Sword of the Stars II
  • Supreme Ruler 2020
  • Starvoid
  • Teleglitch: Die More Edition
  • The Showdown Effect
  • Victoria 2
  • Victoria 2: A House Divided
  • Stellaris: Necroids
  • Darkest Hour
  • Arsenal of Democracy
  • Cities in Motion
  • Cities in Motion 2
  • Crusader Kings II
  • Crusader Kings II: Charlemagne
  • Crusader Kings II: Legacy of Rome
  • Crusader Kings II: The Old Gods
  • Crusader Kings II: Rajas of India
  • Crusader Kings II: The Republic
  • Crusader Kings II: Sons of Abraham
  • Crusader Kings II: Sunset Invasion
  • Crusader Kings II: Sword of Islam
  • A Game of Dwarves
  • Dungeonland
  • Europa Universalis III
  • Divine Wind
  • Europa Universalis IV
  • Europa Universalis IV: Art of War
  • Europa Universalis IV: Conquest of Paradise
  • Europa Universalis IV: Wealth of Nations
  • For The Glory
  • For the Motherland
  • Hearts of Iron III
Alfred Packer said:
Well, we do have one trade route. With my secret enemies the Achean League. I’m selling them the supplies they will need to raise effective Heavy Infantry.

I’m really not good at this.

Ah... classic Alfred Packer at his best! Hilarity is bound to ensue! :rofl:
 

hjarg

Insert witty title here
103 Badges
Dec 23, 2000
5.868
878
  • Rome: Vae Victis
  • Heir to the Throne
  • Europa Universalis III Complete
  • Europa Universalis III Complete
  • Hearts of Iron II: Armageddon
  • Victoria: Revolutions
  • Europa Universalis: Rome
  • Rome Gold
  • Semper Fi
  • Victoria 2: A House Divided
  • Victoria 2: Heart of Darkness
  • Europa Universalis IV: Res Publica
  • Crusader Kings II: Reapers Due
  • Stellaris: Synthetic Dawn
  • Europa Universalis IV: Pre-order
  • Tyranny: Gold Edition
  • Cities: Skylines - After Dark
  • Europa Universalis IV: Cossacks
  • Cities: Skylines - Snowfall
  • Europa Universalis IV: Mare Nostrum
  • Stellaris
  • Crusader Kings II: Sword of Islam
  • Crusader Kings II
  • Crusader Kings II: Charlemagne
  • Crusader Kings II: Legacy of Rome
  • Crusader Kings II: The Old Gods
  • Crusader Kings II: Rajas of India
  • Crusader Kings II: The Republic
  • Crusader Kings II: Sons of Abraham
  • Hearts of Iron III Collection
  • Deus Vult
  • Europa Universalis III
  • Divine Wind
  • Hearts of Iron III: Their Finest Hour
  • Hearts of Iron III
  • For the Motherland
  • Europa Universalis IV: Call to arms event
  • Europa Universalis IV: Wealth of Nations
  • Europa Universalis IV: Conquest of Paradise
  • Europa Universalis IV: Art of War
  • Europa Universalis III: Chronicles
  • Europa Universalis: Rome Collectors Edition
  • Crusader Kings II: Way of Life
  • Pillars of Eternity
  • Europa Universalis IV: Common Sense
  • Crusader Kings II: Horse Lords
  • Europa Universalis IV: El Dorado
  • Europa Universalis IV
  • Crusader Kings II: Conclave
  • Victoria 2
Hehee, thanks for the laughs. And sorry to hear about the well. :rofl:
 

comagoosie

Perennial Dreamer
53 Badges
Apr 14, 2007
8.759
44
  • Cities: Skylines - Green Cities
  • Europa Universalis IV: Common Sense
  • Cities: Skylines - After Dark
  • Europa Universalis IV: Cossacks
  • Europa Universalis IV: Mare Nostrum
  • Stellaris
  • Hearts of Iron IV: Cadet
  • Europa Universalis IV: Rights of Man
  • Hearts of Iron IV: Together for Victory
  • Cities: Skylines - Mass Transit
  • Europa Universalis IV: Mandate of Heaven
  • Europa Universalis IV: Third Rome
  • Hearts of Iron IV: Death or Dishonor
  • Rise of Prussia
  • Europa Universalis IV: Cradle of Civilization
  • Hearts of Iron IV: Expansion Pass
  • Europa Universalis IV: Rule Britannia
  • Cities: Skylines - Parklife Pre-Order
  • Cities: Skylines - Parklife
  • Europa Universalis IV: Dharma
  • Cities: Skylines Industries
  • Europa Universalis IV: Golden Century
  • Imperator: Rome
  • Cities: Skylines - Campus
  • Imperator: Rome - Magna Graecia
  • Europa Universalis 4: Emperor
  • Europa Universalis III Complete
  • Crusader Kings II
  • Europa Universalis III
  • Divine Wind
  • Europa Universalis IV
  • Europa Universalis IV: Art of War
  • Europa Universalis IV: Conquest of Paradise
  • Europa Universalis IV: Wealth of Nations
  • For the Motherland
  • Hearts of Iron III
  • Hearts of Iron III: Their Finest Hour
  • Heir to the Throne
  • Europa Universalis III Complete
  • Hearts of Iron Anthology
  • Europa Universalis IV: Res Publica
  • Europa Universalis: Rome
  • Semper Fi
  • Victoria 2
  • Rome: Vae Victis
  • 200k Club
  • 500k Club
  • Cities: Skylines
  • Europa Universalis IV: El Dorado
  • Europa Universalis IV: Pre-order
Haha, I have high hopes for the 2nd AAR about Sparta :D

Good luck you are probably going to need it.
 

unmerged(56754)

Rule Britannia
May 7, 2006
3.409
2
Kill all your kings till you get a Leonidas, have just 1,000 men, use attrition to get just 300 men, march north to the hot gates and beat Persia (Or Selucis or macedon) there and then! Who needs 25,000 hoplites??!
 

Lord Durham

The Father of AARland
12 Badges
Apr 29, 2001
6.633
2
  • Crusader Kings II
  • Deus Vult
  • Europa Universalis III
  • Europa Universalis III: Chronicles
  • Europa Universalis III Complete
  • Europa Universalis III Complete
  • Europa Universalis: Rome
  • Victoria 2
  • Victoria 2: A House Divided
  • Rome: Vae Victis
  • 500k Club
  • Hearts of Iron II: Beta
Alfred Packer said:
I would offer a sacrifice to the gods to get their support for my plan to restore Sparta to greatness, but we are so poor, our sacrifices would only insult them.
I got a real laugh out of that line.

Good job. Really... :)
 
Jan 9, 2005
8.858
4
Haha, brilliant. I absolutely f*cking wet myself at this bit:

"My son commands our boat."

:rofl: :rofl:
 
Last edited by a moderator:

Lord Valentine

Lord Protector of Britain
82 Badges
Jul 5, 2006
999
135
  • Crusader Kings II: Way of Life
  • Rome Gold
  • Sengoku
  • Victoria 2
  • Victoria 2: A House Divided
  • Victoria 2: Heart of Darkness
  • Rome: Vae Victis
  • 500k Club
  • Cities: Skylines
  • Crusader Kings II: Holy Knight (pre-order)
  • Europa Universalis IV: El Dorado
  • Mount & Blade: Warband
  • Mount & Blade: With Fire and Sword
  • Europa Universalis: Rome
  • Pillars of Eternity
  • Europa Universalis IV: Common Sense
  • Crusader Kings II: Horse Lords
  • Europa Universalis IV: Cossacks
  • Crusader Kings II: Conclave
  • Europa Universalis IV: Mare Nostrum
  • Stellaris
  • Stellaris: Galaxy Edition
  • Stellaris: Galaxy Edition
  • Hearts of Iron IV Sign-up
  • Stellaris Sign-up
  • Imperator: Rome - Magna Graecia
  • Europa Universalis III
  • Hearts of Iron II: Armageddon
  • Crusader Kings II
  • Crusader Kings II: Charlemagne
  • Crusader Kings II: Legacy of Rome
  • Crusader Kings II: The Old Gods
  • Crusader Kings II: Rajas of India
  • Crusader Kings II: The Republic
  • Crusader Kings II: Sons of Abraham
  • Crusader Kings II: Sunset Invasion
  • Crusader Kings II: Sword of Islam
  • Darkest Hour
  • Deus Vult
  • Arsenal of Democracy
  • Divine Wind
  • Europa Universalis IV
  • Europa Universalis IV: Art of War
  • Europa Universalis IV: Conquest of Paradise
  • Europa Universalis IV: Wealth of Nations
  • Hearts of Iron III
  • Heir to the Throne
  • Europa Universalis III Complete
  • Europa Universalis III Complete
  • Europa Universalis IV: Res Publica
You've done it again Alfred! A great start! Especially liked the "Here is my son Eudamidas. He is more popular than I am even though he looks like someone just shot his dog. And I mean all the time."-line. Wonderful stuff :rofl: :rofl:

~Lord Valentine~
 

Dakar

Economic Refugee
11 Badges
Feb 18, 2001
744
2.975
  • Darkest Hour
  • Europa Universalis III
  • Europa Universalis III Complete
  • Hearts of Iron III
  • Europa Universalis: Rome
  • Europa Universalis III Complete
  • Europa Universalis III Complete
  • 500k Club
  • Pride of Nations
  • Hearts of Iron IV Sign-up
  • Crusader Kings II: The Old Gods
Very funny AAR, I´ll be following it.