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firezatswill9

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Hey, it's been some time, hasn't it? Last AAR of mine finished a few months ago. And between then and now, I've done international travel, gotten sick (not 'Rona), broke both my arms at the elbows, got sick AGAIN (still not 'Rona), and honestly haven't even been able to play until recently due to aforementioned broken arms. And honestly, after all that bad luck, I have a stupid idea that I want to see played out. Another European Custom Nation run, something I honestly didn't expect to do again. But here we are I guess.

20221128093637_1.jpg


So, as you can see, I've made a custom nation with France's modern day borders, or as best I could figure them out using EU4's provinces. If anything looks wrong, tell me and I'll fix it in console (Italian borders were tricky.) But that's besides the point. I've made an outrageously overpowered, Roman cultured, custom nation, ruled by the immortal 6-6-6 Imperator Napoleon de Gaul. But unlike Belgium, the previous OP as hell nation I made, I'm not going to be expanding my borders at all, not even via colonization or vassals. So tall Gaul rules over them all, right?

Well, that seems like it would be a little boring, even if I'm in the mood for a good ROFLstomp to compensate for the absolute dogwater luck I've had these past few months. So, here's something else I'm going to do. I will use console to reach tech 32 and fill out my idea groups in full, before then allying 5 nations and doing my best to grow them into something more formidable. And in that aspect, I WILL be taking suggestions for nations to ally with and grow (I'll use yesman to make sure they ally with me, so no need to worry about relations or logical stuff like that,) and maybe every 20-30 years see if any allies should be swapped out for someone else.

Of course, I'm running with a few mods that allowed me to make such on OP nation, as well as a mod that gives custom nations an actual mission tree. And OBVIOUSLY console will be used here and there as necessary. But this seems like a really dumb idea and I want to see how it goes.

So please, hit me up with suggestions for nations to ally in the Euro-north African-slight bit of the middle east-sphere to ally with. No guarantees that I'll go for those nations exactly, but I think it's a lot more interesting than spinning a wheel or closing my eyes and clicking around at random.
 

HistoryDude

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This looks interesting. What's Gaul's backstory in this universe?

Your expansion will be based on the scraps that your allies give you?

Will you attempt to aid your fellow legacies of Rome in Byzantium or Trebizond?
 

Steckie

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Looks interesting, let's see if i can find 5 suggestions that could make a weird game:
- the remains of Burgundy outside French borders, i think 1 or 2 provinces?
- either Albania or Moldavia (would mean ending their march-event)
- either Georgia or Circassia
- any Irish minor
- And something in the Middle East, maybe Aq Qoyunlu?

I'm looking forward to see what other people suggest.
 
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firezatswill9

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This looks interesting. What's Gaul's backstory in this universe?

Your expansion will be based on the scraps that your allies give you?

Will you attempt to aid your fellow legacies of Rome in Byzantium or Trebizond?
Well, Gaul here is the remnants of the true Roman empire that had splintered off during the gothic and hunnic invasions of the rest of the empire. Those remnants basically just refused to answer the door when then barbarians were knocking, a bold and untested move by the rest of their victims. With no one answering the door, the despoilers, being polite and neighborly fellows, left them alone and moved on to their next target, like a bunch of murderous Jehovah's witnesses.

So with the lands of Gaul still holding on to the technology and other advancements of Rome, they didn't experience the "dark ages" the rest of Europe did, and instead became highly advanced through more experimentation, including a highly secret but successful attempt at alchemizing a way to immortality.

So now, with everything on their side, its basically time for them to unturtle themselves and uplift their newer neighbors, like the ancient aliens before them did for humans, of course.

And as stated, there will be NO expansion of our borders at all. We will let others expand their borders, but if for some reason we get land in a war, it will be given away ASAP.

Looks interesting, let's see if i can find 5 suggestions that could make a weird game:
- the remains of Burgundy outside French borders, i think 1 or 2 provinces?
- either Albania or Moldavia (would mean ending their march-event)
- either Georgia or Circassia
- any Irish minor
- And something in the Middle East, maybe Aq Qoyunlu?

I'm looking forward to see what other people suggest.

Interesting suggestions to be sure! I also am curious about others suggestions! This is basically a blank check for any nation, a super advanced, non expansionist country willing to fight on their behalf and strengthen them with no strings attached!
 

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So are you planning on declaring wars yourself and basically force-feeding those nations or just wait for them to act and see what they decide to do with you as their wrecking ball?
 

firezatswill9

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So are you planning on declaring wars yourself and basically force-feeding those nations or just wait for them to act and see what they decide to do with you as their wrecking ball?

It's going to depend on the situation, really. I'm not planning on force feeding anything, unless we get into a problem area like declaring a conquest war on an OPM, only to just pillage the capital and leave them be like in previous patches. So unless I, or someone else, comes up with a plan for any of the countries I ally with that would require nudging in a direction, I'm basically leaving it up to the AI, a dangerous proposition to be sure.
 
Chapter I: Napoleon de Gaul's Decree

firezatswill9

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Chapter I: Napoleon de Gaul's Decree

"Sire, has it worked?" a servant asks the Imperator as he opens his eyes.

"Well, I don't appear to be dead. Or I'm otherwise some weird zombie thing." the Imperator, Napoleon de Gaul, retorted bluntly.

"Perhaps it didn't take? I'd imagine your eminence would feel SOMETHING different had it worked."

"What I'm feeling is annoyed at all these questions. SOMEONE FETCH ME SOME OF MY MEDICAL WINE! I got a headache listening to this guy jabbering my ears off!"

After the imperator pounded down an entire bottle of the FINEST Gaullic medical wine, and then another.... and another... he was feeling a lot more... generous.

"Hhey, y-ya know what? I feel FUCKING GREAT! Just... woooooooooo!" the imperator stumbled around, spinning around with his arms outstretched.

"But, like, and listen to me, just WHAT happened?"

"Well, sir-" the same servant was interrupted immediately.

"Oh, fuck off with that 'sire' and 'your eminence' crap. Just call me.... Napoleon... or de Gaul... or you know what, I like you. I'm gonna call you Frank, and you can call me whatever, ok Frank?" Napoleon slurred, slinging an arm around Frank's shoulders and bringing him close, all buddy buddy like.

"Alright, your em- I mean, uh, Napoleon-" Frank uncomfortably replied, before getting cut off again.

"THAT'S MR. NAPOLEON TO YOU, FRANK! YOU'RE ON THIN ICE, I SWEAR TO ORTHODOX JESUS!" Napoleon exploded, waving an angry finger at Frank.

Napoleon_De_Gaul.jpg


Napoleon de Gaul, Imperator of Gaul, wasn't known for being the most normal of folks. A genius, to be sure, but definitely a bit... eccentric. One would have to be to blindly drink alchemical mixtures in an attempt at immortality.

"So, Frank, now that... now that I'm a myth among men, whaddya say you do your job and *hic* write down my new decrees?"

"*sigh* Yes, sir Nap-" Frank stops after getting a death glare from Napoleon. "Er, MISTER Napoleon."

"Okay Frank, so... we've been, absolutely turtled up for like, what, a decade?"

"Try nearly a millennium, give or take a century or two."

"Ah, same difference! Anyways, Frankie, why don't you tell me about who's still around. Are the Visgoths still living next door? Maybe it's the immortality speaking, but I feel like we can bury the hatchet with them. I mean, those romans were kinda pricks."

"...You are aware that WE are, in fact, romans, yes?"

"And you just proved my point, Franksy!"

"*deep sigh* No, they haven't been around for centuries."

"Oh, what about those other goths, the Ostrogoths? They were kinda chill at the one party."

"Again, no."

"What about the Saxons? I feel like they wouldn't just up and move away without letting us know!"

"Well, yes and no. They are still around, but they're not what you think they are now."

"What, are they something cooler, like a chimera or something?"

"...I feel it would be faster if we just looked at a map, Mr. Napoleon."

"To the big map room, then!" Napoleon then drunkenly stumbled out of the room, bumping into a decorative suit of armor, and ordered its execution for getting in his way. Come dawn tomorrow, that suit shall be hung by the neck until dead.

20221128093637_1.jpg


"So, Mist-" Frank gestured to the map, before being cut off by his liege again.

"Please, my father was a Mister. Call me Napoleon."

"...Of course." Frank then mumbled under his breath "I pray that potion he drank was the dead opposite of an immortality potion."

"What was that?"

"I was just saying that all the nations on the map are still around. What is your decree, Napoleon?"

"FIRST, I DECREE THAT OUR DECADE-SLASH-MILENNIA OF ISOLATION IS OVER! And as our first outside alliance, it shall be...." Napoleon circled his hand around the map aimlessly before plopping his finger down on one country after another. "THIS ONE HERE, AND THIS ONE, AND THIS GUY, AND ESPECIALLY THIS ONE! First is, uh, Mun-moon-mann... This guy!"

"Ah, Munster of the Emerald Isle. Of course, it shall be done."

20221206195728_1.jpg


An envoy later was sent to Munster, inviting MacCarthy to visit Gaul to formalize the alliance.

20221206195735_1.jpg


Simultaneously, another envoy invited the Karamanid Bey to the Gaullic capital.

20221206195740_1.jpg


Another envoy was sent to the republican leader of Florence, again inviting them to meet with the Imperator of Gaul.

20221206195745_1.jpg


And lastly, the Berger duke Julich-Berg was invited to formalize the alliance with a meeting of the rulers.

"Of course, the envoys will be sent post-haste. Shall I alert you when your guests arrive?"

"Eh, I'm a busy guy, just wait until they're all here, THEN tell me. I only want to say this deal for them once, I hate repeating myself."

"I'm sorry, I didn't quite catch that last bit, could you say that one more time?"

"Ah, yes, I said I hate repeating myself."

"Very good, Napoleon. I shall let you know when they arrive. Now, it may be best to get some rest, the leaders of these backwater nations will take some time to arrive here, with their primitive technology and all."

"Of course, thank you, Frank. You may go now."

Some time passed, and after a few weeks, the invited leaders of Napoleon's selected countries arrived in the capital.

"Welcome, welcome. Have a seat anywhere" Napoleon greeted his guests, before gesturing to what amounted to a coffee table with some lounge chairs parked around it. With a shrug, the four sat down, with Napoleon sitting last after jostling some papers together.

"Now, I bet you're wondering why I've called you here, after a long history of brutally killing anyone who dared walk into our lands even by accident, be they man, woman, or sheep. Well, have I got the deal for YOU!" Napoleon handed out the papers to his guests, while their attendants rapidly translated for their respective liege.

"Have you a neighbor you just hate? Or someone you fear knocking down your door and pillaging your land, ravaging your spice cabinets, and stealing your wives? Or need someone to back you up because you got too many badboy points on your sin card? Well, you're in luck! Gaul is an absolutely advanced, all powerful nation, who has taken careful consideration of the current political, religious, and economical climate, and chosen to back you four in any and all endeavors you embark upon! All you need to do is just ask, and we shall roll up, ready to gun down any fools you deem in your way! And we ask for... NOTHING in return. It's a blank check for your ambitions! There's nothing that can stop you with us at your backs! So, what do you say? Partners?" Napoleon asked, putting his hand in the center of the coffee table, waiting to see who agreed with his deal. Unsurprisingly, his hand quickly found the Irish, Turkish, Italian, and German leaders hands on top of it, before they broke on the rally cry of "screw those other guys!"

It did not take long for Napoleon's offer to be taken up by his newfound "allies."


20221206202358_1.jpg


In February of 1447, a mere 3 years after the meeting of the minds that started such a partnership, Julich-Berg decided he wanted a more direct connection to Gaul, a measure of added stability, of course.

20221206202444_1.jpg


Gaul, being lightyears ahead of everyone regarding technology, their rifles made quick work of the Trierian army, with the only two casualties being attributed to a short stint of food poisoning, with the two victims recovering shortly thereafter.

20221206202503_1.jpg


The walls of Trier, while good at defending from their neighbors, had no recourse when faced with the Gaullic army.

20221206202704_1.jpg


While it was not necessary at all, Gaul was going to be getting SOME reparations for their work in the form of a tribute taken from the defeated and vanquished's treasury.

20221206202845_1.jpg


With the treaty of Versailles (1447), Trier was removed from the map, and allowed Berg a direct connection to Gaul for ease of future communications.

20221206203950_1.jpg


Not a year later, Florence as well decided to cash in part of that blank check they were written. With Gaul's strength behind them, the result of this war was a forgone conclusion.

20221206204119_1.jpg


Again, Gaul suffered minor casualties post battle, all attributed to one man tripping on a bullet riddled corpse of the felled Italians, and accidentally knocking over 4 more men in front of him, resulting in a few broken bones.

20221206204302_1.jpg


Again, Gaul received tribute for their efforts in Ferrara, while Modena now experiences freedom from their oppressor's yolk.

20221206204334_1.jpg


Lucca, however, was integrated into the Florentine republic as a part of the Treaty of Versailles (1448).

20221206204912_1.jpg


Not missing a beat, the Bergers called on Gaul for aid in their war against several of their neighbors. Upon hearing of said call, Napoleon wrote back "You shall definitely have the requested assistance!", with said letter being delivered by the exact soldiers the Bergers were asking for help from.

20221206205058_1.jpg


Of course, the Berger army would have no chance at defeating such a numerous foe, were it not for the brave Gaullic army, ready to bravely shoot at them like fish in a barrel from a safe distance!

20221206205114_1.jpg


Shoot bravely and valiantly, you beautiful bastards!

20221206205122_1.jpg


Alas, some men were injured by exploding powder kegs or tripping on branches in the woods. But compared to their enemy, it's the preferable fate of the two.

While awaiting the Berger peace, Napoleon was asking his advisors/servants about goings on in the world, as part of his attempt at learning about just what's going on, who's still around, and who kicked the bucket.

"Well, Napoleon, it seems that our neighbor to the north, across the channel, is getting a bit cocky, and now it's biting them in the rear."

"What, the Picts?"

"No, sire, the English."

"The what?"

"English. Anglo-saxons."

"Look, I know they're a bit haughty, but calling themselves Angel-Saxons is a bit blasphemous, don't you think? I would have thought these more religious folk wouldn't be so keen to annoy their deity so brazenly, but who am I to judge?"

"No, just... Look, the island dwellers to our north, which will be the subject of our next geography lesson, are infighting, and the highlanders seem to be winning, against the odds."

"Oh, well why didn't you just say so? Serves them right for being so full of themselves, stupid angels."

20221206205320_1.jpg


Somehow, against the odds, Scotland and a few Irish minors are absolutely thrashing England.

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Despite having not been the main target of their anger, Gelre ceded land to Berg in the treaty of Versailles (1449), and paid tribute to Gaul.

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Shortly thereafter, Napoleon oversaw the surrender of Cologne and the transfer of Westphalia to Berg in the treaty of Versailles (1450.)

20221206210425_1.jpg


Still not missing a beat, Florence requested help in their war against Siena, Bologna, and Venice, which was met with a rapid deployment of soldiers to the Italian peninsula.

20221206211249_1.jpg


Our men march on Venice, with the Florentine soldiers following, wishing to see Gaullic tactics in person.

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It appears that the Doge of Venice also wished to see Gaul's soldiers in action, and led his men into battle himself.

20221206211309_1.jpg


Unfortunately, the Florentine army found itself confused by the Gaullic technology, and ended up shooting a fair number of each other before our soldiers could get them away from the spare rifles. It's like babies and Legos. Sure, they mix together, but you'll be lucky to even have just one of those things at the end of the day.

20221206212149_1.jpg


Thankfully, despite the somewhat slow nature of breaching and sieging Venice itself, a peace was agreed upon, and Florence grew further in the treaty of Versailles (1453.)

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Seeing their European contemporaries growing thanks to their deal with Gaul, Munster called in a favor regarding their neighbor, which was happily met by Gaul's finest.

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The conflict was brief, and resulted in Munster growing by 200% in the treaty of Versailles (1455.) But after that, there was a small window of peace amongst Gaul's "allied" nations.

During which, there was news about a new, hip trend popping up in Italia.

"Frank, have you heard the news from Italia?"

"What news, exactly?"

"Apparently, there's this new trend going on, and it's sweeping the nations over there. Apparently some guys got some hot ideas about a number of things, and they're now making some pretty neat art."

"Oh, you mean the Renaissance."

"The what?"

"They're reviving 'lost' techniques and 'undiscovered' ideas from back when Rome ruled the continent. You know, things that we were doing ever since Rome decided to just explode."

"Oh. Well, maybe we had a hand in them learning about it?"

"Well, it's possible. You DID open the borders, after all."

"I'm going to say it was all us, we deserve the credit."

"Yes, indeed we do."

20221206214158_1.jpg


The Renaissance is "invented", 1456.

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Being bored from that cultural crap, Munster again calls for aid against their northern enemies, which quickly was dealt with and resulted in their growth in the treaty of Versailles (1458).

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Florence, ever the ambitious one, has again decided to take on their neighbors, including a distant neighbor in the form of Aragon. Well, this won't take long, I'm sure of it.

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Outnumbered nearly two to one, our soldiers have absolute and total faith in their training, as well as faith that their enemy will just be charging at them in a straight line.

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Of course, when the Gauls show up for battle, it appears to be on every monarch, doge, and tribal leader's bucket list to see how these roman soldiers fight.

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Alas, it was not a complete wipe, but these men will have little respite in the coming days.

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After the utter destruction of the Aragonite army, Gaul was given 453 ducats in recompense for the 50 men that were injured in the fighting.

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And with the rest of the alliance sieged down, Florence spreads her grasp further along the shaft of the Italian peninsula, expanding greatly as a result of the treaty of Versailles (1459).

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After taking a short period to rest and recover, Florence was in it again, going for another expansion play against Naples this time. But Naples has a fair amount of the Italian states as allies, as if that will make a difference for our elite soldiers.

However, Napoleon, having celebrated his 59th birthday, came to the realization that he will, soon, be looking too young to be in his 60s. There's only so long he can claim that smoking opium and drinking Gaullic wine keeps him looking so young and spry.

"Frank, we have a problem."

"What is it?"

"I'm too young."

"Should I break your knees to make you feel older, then?"

"No! I mean, I'm too young looking to be 60, people will find out I'm immortal soon! What should I do?"

"Have you considered abdicating and retiring to an island in the Mediterranean?"

"No, that's too obvious. Plus, who would be my heir? I've never shown anyone my family tree before."

"Plus one needs to have an heir in order to introduce said heir."

"Dammit, that's true! ...WAIT A MINUTE!" Napoleon exclaimed as a metaphorical match lit above his head as he had an idea. "No one knows my family, or lack thereof, yes?"

"Correct."

"So, if I were to die, the only one who could possibly be listed as the claimant to the throne is whomever I state as my heir, yes?"

"Theoretically, yes? But considering your unfortunate case of immortality, I don't see how-"

"Frank, I know what we're going to do today."

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With the state of the world having been changed forever with the pseudo-awakening of Gaul, several nations have been making their moves. But are those moves proper? Or are they squandering the potential they were given in the form of a juggernaut of an ally? Only history (or readers) will be able to tell.

And of course, what is Napoleon de Gaul planning, exactly? What is his grand plan he just came up with? And will Frank ever get his birth name back? FIND OUT NEXT TIME ON... THIS!

(Hope you've enjoyed, I'm trying a new format that's a bit more narrative/character driven, but not entirely so. I DO like pictures, after all, and screenshots really do say a thousand words. And now that it's been 20 years, I will ask if there's any nation whose alliance we should drop and change out. If so, who's getting dropped, and any suggestions for a replacement? Let me know and I'll consider any and all suggestions!)
 

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HistoryDude

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Napoleon is an... interesting character...

Your allies are certainly benefitting from Gallic aid. What will you do with all of the money you're taking from their enemies?

Gaul takes credit for the Renaissance. I wonder how the Arabs and the Byzantines feel about that?
 

Steckie

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Wait, is Karaman being occupied by the Ottomans? Probably didn't call you in because you're already in the war against Naples, but still that's worthy of a Darwin Award nomination.
If they get annexed it might be interesting to pick up a Russian OPM's to see if they think you're strong enough for them to risk taking chunks out of Muscovy.

Or, with the rebels in Castille and their war with Aragon this might be the time to help out Tafilaft. They seem to be off to a good start this game.
 

firezatswill9

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Napoleon is an... interesting character...

Your allies are certainly benefitting from Gallic aid. What will you do with all of the money you're taking from their enemies?

Gaul takes credit for the Renaissance. I wonder how the Arabs and the Byzantines feel about that?
Well, considering how every few decades, alliances CAN be shaken up, it makes sense that a more... arbitrary leader be in control of the country. Maybe he'll mellow out with time.

And the money that is given to us as tribute is put directly into improving the economy. While we did start with max tech and ideas, none of our provinces had any buildings. So we're slowly building up the snowball, which is also why the army is so small at the moment.

And why WOULDN'T Gaul take credit for their own invention? Just because it was new to THEM doesn't mean it was new to the WORLD, after all!

Wait, is Karaman being occupied by the Ottomans? Probably didn't call you in because you're already in the war against Naples, but still that's worthy of a Darwin Award nomination.
If they get annexed it might be interesting to pick up a Russian OPM's to see if they think you're strong enough for them to risk taking chunks out of Muscovy.

Or, with the rebels in Castille and their war with Aragon this might be the time to help out Tafilaft. They seem to be off to a good start this game.
I actually noticed that once I was in the war with Naples, but it turns out that, even though they have our undying support, they also had the brilliant idea of allying the Mamluks. The Mamluks who were declared upon by the Turks, and called in Karaman to defend them. But we'll see if they survive.

But those are some good ideas for alliances to swap to, we'll see how things go, and if anyone else has some ideas to throw out there :)
 
Chapter II: The Reign of Napoleon de Gaul II (1464-1484)

firezatswill9

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Chapter II: The Reign of Napoleon de Gaul II (1464-1484)

*We cut to the exterior door of the royal chambers, with manservant Frank leaning against the wall, waiting impatiently for his liege's "brilliant idea" to be revealed*

"Trust me, Frank, this is going to go PERFECTLY!"

"You've assured me of such at least a dozen times over, sir."

"Because it IS perfect, you see!"

"With all due respect, I currently DON'T see, not with the mahogany door keeping me in the hallway."

"Hah! Always a kidder. That's why I like you, Frank. Always with the jokes! Now, if I just... fiddle with this here... and add that over there... almost... BY PURPLE CROSS'D JESUS, I'VE DONE IT! I'VE CREATED MY HEIR!"

"Eight seconds, a new personal best for you, my liege."

"That's not wh- hey, wait, why are you so formal with me so suddenly?"

"I was under the impression that I may call you whatever I so choose, Imperator."

"Ah, right. Wine ramblings and such, of course. Well, anywho, it's time to unveil my new heir... Napoleon de Gaull II!"

*with that, the door swung open with vigor, slamming against the marble wall of the palace. With an annoyed expression, Frank looked inside to see what the "perfect plan" was."


Napoleon_De_Gaul_II.jpg



Imperator Napoleon de Gaul II, ascended to the throne in 1464 after the sudden "passing" of Napoleon I and subsequent disappearance of his corpse.

"Psst, Frank!" Napoleon de Gaul II lifted his glasses to reveal that he was, in fact, Napoleon de Gaul I in actuality. "It's really me, I'm my own heir!"

"If it weren't for you revealing the secret to me, sire, I never would have guessed. Not in a million years" an unamused Frank replied.

"The way I see it, as long as I keep changing my appearance every few decades or so, no one will suspect a thing! Now, go and quickly spread the word of my demise and ascension of my heir who had been secreted away for his safety!"

"Should I plan a funeral service?"

"Of course! Only the best for me- I mean, my dearest father! He was always such a subdued, humble man, he should have a funeral celebrating that about him. So make sure we erect several monuments to him and his glory, and declare a mandatory one month of national mourning!"

"As you wish, my Imperator. I shall gather our diplomats and clergymen to inform them about your decrees. And if I may be so bold, sir, that now that a 'new' Imperator has come into power, should we perhaps reconsider our alliances, or at least invite our allies heads of state to meet with the new head of their benefactor nation?"

"Excellent proposition, Frank! Send the diplomats, we shall have a meeting of the minds once more! And they will never suspect that it's actually me! Oh, but first, isn't there that scuffle going on in Italia? What's the status there? Are the Florentines still dragging their heels on ending their conflict?"

"They are, but with our armies approaching en force, it's certain to come to a conclusion soon."


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With the signing of The Treaty of Versailles (1465), Florence has officially joined the great powers club.

"Ah, excellent. So, now that that rabble is dealt with, our nations can have a true meeting of the minds! So with Berg, Munster, and Florence, we should be able to discuss any future plans they have."

"What about the Karaman Beyliks, sir?"

"...the Who?"

"Karaman, my liege. We signed an alliance with the Karamanoglu dynasty two decades ago, if you recall."

"Now that you mention it, Frank, wasn't there a fourth alliance we had made?"

"Yes, with the Karamans, as I was just saying."

"What's even going on with them? They haven't even sent a letter or a condolences card for the passing of me!"


"Well, if you'll look at this report from our diplomats..."


"Let me see that! Hm, alliance with us, good. Alliance with the Mamluks, fine I guess. And... oh, I see now. The Mamluks are dragging them down into the annuls of history by asking for their assistance in the war defending against the Ottoman Empire, is that right?"

"Indeed, sir. Death by chivalry, as it were."

"Well, that just won't do. Send them the 2nd regiment to assist them in their war against their stupid ally's rival, and make sure they know we won't take no for an answer!"

"And you suggest we do so how?"

"Ship the troops over, make landfall with them, and have them start shooting anyone that's not on our ally's side!"


"But that would drag us into the conflict de facto, sire."


"Ah, but not if we stitch the Karaman flag to their uniforms, it won't! Trust me, I've had time to think about how to handle situations like these with tact and grace."


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By forcing the Karaman's to let us help them through our very convincing yesman, despite our "lack of land connection to their capital", we are allowing them to survive this lapse in judgement. (And as a note, I feel like this is the reason for Karaman not expanding at all, despite our unquestionable superiority. Distance between us and lack of a land connection to them is making them docile and scared. Irish Munster is the same, but to a lesser degree, likely due to the close proximity to our countries.)

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With the Gallic aid getting to work under the Karaman flag, hopefully Karaman's participation score will skyrocket.

"Well, I suppose while we wait for that situation to resolve itself, we should meet with our more immediate neighbors whom we are still backing. Let's bring in Julian-Berg, the Medici, and MacCarthy for a CHRISTIAN meeting."

*Over the coming weeks envoys were sent, and not long after, the dukes and consuls of Berg, Florence, and Munster arrived in Paris.*

"Ah, respected leaders! I would like to welcome you back to our humble nation. Please, let us continue our conversation somewhere more comfortable"
Napoleon then gestures over to a gilded room that bordered on gaudy with the amount of gold covering everything.

"So, I've assembled you gentlemen here to discuss the continuation of the deal that I-I-I've inherited from my father and have decided to continue. N-now, would you care to explain your goals, and how Gaul may assist you in those aims?"

"Aye, that I can" the Irish Domhnall MacCarthy spoke first. "What we want is some peace and quiet, and to try and keep those English bastards from trying to make us kiss the ring!"

"Ah, that I can get behind. Stupid angle saxophones, thinking they're better than everyone. And their food is dreadful too! I swear, they could conquer a quarter of the world in an effort to find flavorings to make their food palatable, but their tastebuds are so underdeveloped they'd get said spices and then decide they don't want it anymore, because it makes their food too spicy and flavorful!"
Napoleon de Gaul II ranted against the English.

"Seems a tad specific there, Imperator, but I suppose they would. But our gripe is with them expanding into the Emerald Isle unopposed, why we're practically in a corner here!"

"You could just ask us for help and we'll kick their ninety degree asses all the way to the instrument shop for you."

"Bah, that'd be cheating! And we're no cheats!"

"I guess that's your prerogative. What about you two? Any goals you wish to share?"

"Ja, I got plans!" Gerhard Julian-Berg spoke up, slamming his drink down on the table. "Mein country is split in two! I want to make it one, and BIGGER!"

"Okay, now we're getting places. So, what are you thinking of doing, and how can we help?"

"Well, first, we will beat up those dirty rotten swamp Germans! All hoity-toity with their windmills and wooden shoes!"

"Yeah, what's with that anyways? Wooden shoes sound so uncomfortable, and leather and cloth is so plentiful."

"It is just so strange! So we will beat them up, and all mein problems shall be fixed!"

"I see nothing wrong with this plan, it flows perfectly. So how about you, Consul Medici?"

The Italian consul just sat there in silence, almost in a trance as he looked forward, past the Imperator, past the walls of the palace, and seemingly beyond.

"Italy..."
he mumbled.

"What was that?"

"ITALY SHALL BE RULED BY THE ITALIANS, THE TRUE RULERS OF THE PENINSULA! NAPOLI SHALL FALL BENEATH OUR BOOTS, ITS NECK CRUSHED BEFORE WE MOVE NORTH AND DECAPITATE THE VENICIAN DOGE! THE RUBICON WILL RUN RED WITH THE BLOOD OF OUR ENEMIES, AND ALL SHALL UNDERSTAND THAT ITALY BELONGS TO FLORENCE, AND THAT THEIR ONLY SALVATION WILL BE SUBMISSION OR DEATH!" the middle aged man raged, a blaze raging in his eyes.

"... Well, good luck with that!"
Napoleon de Gaul II gave a thumbs up before checking the time. "Oh, it's really that late already, is it? I think we best retire from these diplomatic talks and head to the dining hall. I heard that we're having spaghetti tonight!"

"Oh sweet I love a good spaghet!" Consul Medici piped in before eagerly getting up from the table and rushing towards the dining hall.

"Now, I wonder how the Karamanoglu's are doing..."


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With the arrival of Gallic aid, the tide of the war swings drastically in the favor of the Mamluks and Karamans.

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As had been discussed at the meeting of the minds earlier, Munster was seeking to grow to protect themselves. But they refused to call fo Gallic handouts against the English. But their fellow Irish and the Scots, however, were fair game...

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"Sir, we seem to have found an illegal joust going on."

"Ah, jousting, good fun. Gotta keep it illegal, though, to keep the thrill of jousting in secret alive for the youths!"

"Yes, well sir, we seem to have captured the winner of the joust."

"Oh, really? Well, we don't really have much use for knights or anything so obsolete. Can he do other things than ride a horse and hold a pointy stick?"

"He can shoot and command very well, it seems."

"Excellent! He can be either made into a general, or executed by firing squad, his choice!"


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With the Treaty of Versailles (1467), Munster now has a majority control over Ireland, as well as a foothold in the Scottish highlands.

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Berg then calls us for aid in their war against NOT swamp germans, which was odd, but this may be the unification war that was mentioned.

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Meanwhile, continual assassination attempts are made by our men on Mehmed's life, but he somehow manages to keep eluding our bullets and fleeing faster than the speed of light! Lucky sob.

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Joust champion seems to be doing well in his new profession.

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And in the Summer Treaty of Versailles (1468), Brunswick is reduced to an OPM, while Berg grows larger.

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Back in Anatolia, our troops continue to try and commit regicide and murder Mehmed, but he wasn't at home unfortunately.

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However, our arrival has clearly spelt the Ottoman's doom.

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And in the Winter Treaty of Versailles (1468), Berg finally gets access to the seas. Still not sure how this will help beat up Swamp Germans, but eh, what do I know?

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And finally, the Mamluks win their war, granting Karaman some land, but otherwise leaving the Ottomans rather intact. And our soldiers made the trek back home.

But as they did, it turns out they brought some... visitors with them.

"Imperator Napoleon, it appears our soldiers are back from Anatolia."

"Ah, good! Back with glory and gold, I can assume?"

"Well, yes and no. Glory, yes, gold no. But they did seem to accidentally gather a following."

"I don't follow."

"You recall how they had managed to sack Istanbul?"

"Ist-You mean Constantinople?"

"Istanbul was Constantinople. Now it's Istanbul, not Constantinople."

"So if I had a date in Constantinople..."

"She'll be waiting in Istanbul."

"Really Frank? All that land, and THAT'S what they changed? Why did Constantinople get the works?"

"That's nobody's business but the Turks, sir."

"Huh, learn something new every day I suppose. So anyways, what's happened during the sack of Istanbul?"

"Our soldiers seemed to have had a few refugees of the Byzantine Empire tag along with them, begging for their brethren to help them."

"What? No way! Those guys were lame, they couldn't stop a few nomads from coming in and wrecking the place! Plus they're not even Roman, they're greeks pretending to be romans! Show them the door, they can go beg on a street corner in Iberia for all I care!"

"Very well, Napoleon."


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The Byzantine refugees were expelled post haste, we don't need them stinking up our country with their filth.

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The next envoy to arrive carried details of the Florentine plan for consolidating in Italy. Of course, with prior knowledge of these plans, we were ready to move at a moment's notice.

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Unfortunately, our champion of the joust died at an illegal thumb wrestling tournament, meaning we had to hire a new general to take his place. But fortunately, his replacement is MUCH better, and more disciplined than his predecessor.

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In the Treaty of Versailles (1472), Florence has finally connected their northern lands, allowing for a direct land bridge to Gaul, negating any need for military access, or transportation fleets. Speaking of... The Imperator was in his lounge, reclined on a sofa, tossing a ball into the air and catching it, waiting for more envoys or other Imperator matters to arrive at his feet.

"Hey Frank?"

"Yes, my liege?"

"I was thinking. About boats."

"Boats, my Imperator?"

"Yes, boats. And how Rome had the best boats, ruling the entire sea."

"Well, the Mediterranean, at least."

"And I got to thinking, we should make a boat. A BIG boat. With a lot of cannons. Like an absolute SHITLOAD of cannons."

"To project our power overseas, yes?"

"To make our navy look cool as all hell!"

"I should have figured as much."

"And we should dedicate it!"

"Dedicate it? To whom?"

"Who else but dear old deceased me?"

"How ever so humble of you."

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And so, construction on the flagship of the Gallic navy, the GS Napoleon de Gaul started in 1475.

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Thanks to the death of a high profile general who happened to be a prolific jouster, crackdowns on illegal jousting grew more frequent. But in spite of it, some held on to their traditional death sport, and even enlisted to help recruit more people to their tournaments!

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And as an aside, 11.5 morale in general is absolutely nuts for any point in the game.

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And, to answer what we've been doing with money and monarch points, we've first been building universities everywhere to maximize our deving discount, as seen above, before deving our lands to the moon and back.

20221213212832_1.jpg


Ah, now after nearly two decades, Gerhard decided to indirectly beat up the Dutch!

20221213213016_1.jpg


And again, thanks to prior planning, we were more than ready to do our part.

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Luneberg lost land in the Treaty of Versailles (1479) but is still around.

20221213213541_1.jpg
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And in the Treaty of Versailles (1480), Berg has managed to eat two more members of the HRE, gaining a lot of AE in the process. How much, you may ask. So let me show you.

20221213213657_1.jpg


Berg is literally being saved by our alliance. Without it, they would be absolutely smoked by a coalition or four, bombarding them back to the stone age.

20221213213715_1.jpg


Meanwhile, Florence isn't AS bad, they might be able to get some other meaningful alliances aside from us. But Austria would likely come kicking their door down and beating them in a coalition. But considering how much dev they've eaten, it's a surprisingly small list of potential coalition members.

20221213213959_1.jpg


And speaking of Florence, it's time to commence Operation That's My Pizza and make sure they control the south of the peninsula.

20221213214742_1.jpg


Surprisingly, during Operation That's My Pizza, Berg calls for assistance against more german minors who are NOT Dutch. But regardless, we heed the call!

20221213215028_1.jpg


As the German operation continued, Florence managed to absorb most of Naples, and gain a few footholds on Sicily in the Spring Treaty of Versailles (1482)

20221213215454_1.jpg
20221213215536_1.jpg


Meanwhile, after some extended talks and agreements on the wordage of the agreement, German Munster signed the Summer Treaty of Versailles (1482), allowing for the Berger annexation of Hesse, as well as the transfer of Munster lands to Berger control.

20221213215611_1.jpg


And in the Final 1482 Treaty of Versailles (1482), Mainz was incorporated into Berg. However, these expansions didn't come without diplomatic cost to Berg herself.

20221213215627_1.jpg


Thanks to that expansion spree, Berg found herself hated by damn near anyone in central Europe, and even spreading slightly west to England, and further east to Poland and the Danish exclaves.

20221213220228_1.jpg


But seeing that we've been helping our other allies, Irish Munster calls for our assistance against the Scots, and our first order of business is beating up the Dutch, like our good friend Gerhard would want us to!

20221213220854_1.jpg


In fact, we beat up anyone we could in that conflict, and ended it quickly with the Treaty of Versailles (1484).

20221213221337_1.jpg



And as such, here is what the world looks like. Our impact is definitely noticeable, and while I do blame the current lack of Karaman growth to their regency council, they ARE sticking out as the runt of the litter, in terms of everything compared to our other allies.

So again, I pass the question off to you. Should we keep our alliances as they are? Should we swap anyone out for someone else? If so, who are we dropping, and what are some ideas as to replace them with? Let me know and I'll consider any and all ideas!

Hope you enjoyed, see you in the next part!
 

HistoryDude

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Good job beating up the Ottomans!

Florence is doing well and so is Berg. Our aid is very useful

It's a shame that we refused to help our fellow countrymen in Byzantium...
 

Steckie

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If you were to drop Berg now, the HRE would coalition them to pieces within months....

I'd suggest Circassia or Perm, but the distance modifier is probably going to give you the same problems as Karaman.
Maybe Montenegro? I think i see them with 2 provinces in the Balkan, could be interesting.
 

firezatswill9

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Good job beating up the Ottomans!

Florence is doing well and so is Berg. Our aid is very useful

It's a shame that we refused to help our fellow countrymen in Byzantium...

Well, I'm not sure just HOW closely related we were to the Byzantines at this point. I mean, they were greek, and we're roman. I'm sure that there's nothing in history that would have put these cultures in close proximity or relation ;)

If you were to drop Berg now, the HRE would coalition them to pieces within months....

I'd suggest Circassia or Perm, but the distance modifier is probably going to give you the same problems as Karaman.
Maybe Montenegro? I think i see them with 2 provinces in the Balkan, could be interesting.

Is that a suggestion to drop Berg, or just a passing thought?

I'm actually going to run a few test games to see if the distance between nations is actually a problem or not. I've got a feeling that it's actually an issue, but that could just be a coincidence. I'll announce my findings when I finish my tests.
 

firezatswill9

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Well, I did a 30 year test, dropping Berg and Florence so that my only allies were Karaman and Munster, to make sure that I was free to join any conflicts they started. I even made sure that Karaman had a LOT of cash and a militaristic ruler, with claims on all the land surrounding them. Literally gave them no reason NOT to go to war. But neither Karaman or Munster declared on their larger neighbors.

Which make me wonder if the AI is now coded to not declare on nations that are much bigger than them, regardless of what allies they may have. Munster DOW'd Scotland because they were weakened after fighting England, so that would explain why Munster expanded and called me in to their wars, while Karaman has done nothing. I even went so far as to give myself a core province right next to them, with my army stationed there, in case that would help them locate their balls and try and expand with my assistance. And remember, I give every nation I ally max trust and favors so that they use the favors for war or aid instead of bumping trust up to max.

So at this point I'm fairly confidant that, without my direct intervention in starting the wars, Karaman will just sit there like a tumor, surviving solely because of the alliance we have with them. Munster, I have a LITTLE more hope for, considering how they're over 100 dev now, putting them CLOSER to England's dev amount. Which may also determine any wars.

So yeah, I have no idea why this is and will try another test tomorrow. But for my preliminary findings, our alliance with Karaman is literally just there to keep the Ottomans from getting their easy claims on the Levant and beyond.

Oh, and BTW, Berg got coalitioned into 2PM-dom and was getting multi-coalition wars for the entire 30 years I tested, leaving them in a bankruptcy spiral. So as I said, bombarded back to the stone age. Florence was fine though, they allied Bohemia and everyone seemed too preoccupied with Berg to declare on Florence, even though the coalition against the Italian state did form.
 

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If you want to test if it's distance or size of neighbours, you can change the situation a bit.
Let's say you happen to get yourself a client state in the Sinaï. And discover India due to the brilliance of Napoleon.
That would remove any distance multiplier to Karaman and give you a route to India where you can ally one of the medium powers that should still be around in the Indian thunderdome. Preferably one with several small to medium nations around them that don't have too much dev and they would feel safe declaring war on.
That way you can see what Karaman does with you on their doorstep and see what a distant nation with smaller neighbours would do with France as their ally.

It would go against your self imposed rules though, so i can understand if you don't want to go there.

Berg is pretty much what i expected when i saw the screenshot with the AE map.
Now the question is: do you want to build up like that and watch the world burn as soon as you cut them loose or do you want to create something more stable?
 

firezatswill9

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If you want to test if it's distance or size of neighbours, you can change the situation a bit.
Let's say you happen to get yourself a client state in the Sinaï. And discover India due to the brilliance of Napoleon.
That would remove any distance multiplier to Karaman and give you a route to India where you can ally one of the medium powers that should still be around in the Indian thunderdome. Preferably one with several small to medium nations around them that don't have too much dev and they would feel safe declaring war on.
That way you can see what Karaman does with you on their doorstep and see what a distant nation with smaller neighbours would do with France as their ally.

It would go against your self imposed rules though, so i can understand if you don't want to go there.

Berg is pretty much what i expected when i saw the screenshot with the AE map.
Now the question is: do you want to build up like that and watch the world burn as soon as you cut them loose or do you want to create something more stable?
I did do more testing, including your idea of a client state. However, it seems that a combination of neighboring AI's size and general distance between borders is what's giving the AI some hiccups. But the biggest offender seems to be neighbor's size, as when I sold Corsica to Karaman, after coring it they DOW'd Sardinia and called me in during one of these tests. I also allied Tafilalt and Herzinogov (that blue balkan state, not Montenegro unfortunately), and waited for anything to happen, and nothing did.

So, I'm considering giving Karaman ONE last chance via more direct intervention, as opposed to leaving them at the helm. But if that doesn't work, I'm going to need to consider what to do instead. As is, I'm not in love with the idea of doing things like DOWing nations just to break up the stalemate, but it's either that or DOWing and forcefeeding these dumbass nations.

And as for your question, I have a couple ideas of how things COULD progress in the later game. But for now, it's either let these guys build up and become powers, or let them crash and burn, either is fine with me. No skin off my nose if these guys bite off more than they can chew once we're not babysitting them XD
 

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So, I'm considering giving Karaman ONE last chance via more direct intervention, as opposed to leaving them at the helm. But if that doesn't work, I'm going to need to consider what to do instead. As is, I'm not in love with the idea of doing things like DOWing nations just to break up the stalemate, but it's either that or DOWing and forcefeeding these dumbass nations.
As the game progresses you're only going to have to do more and more direct intervention i susptect.
Minors getting eaten will only result in more nations that are too afraid to DOW because of neighbour size. And the AI wont DOW on your allies, because big scary Gaul is on their side....

And after all the times i've seen people complain about suicidal AI, you're stuck in an AAR where the AI has an overpowered army helping them and they're too afraid for their miserable lives to do something with that army :)
So i'm curious how you're going to break this AI-stupidity stalemate, will be following.
 

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Poland looks to be pretty strong. Maybe you could support Danzig's independence and hope they break free for an alliance there.