That's a Nice France You've Got There - An Anglo-French MEIOU and Taxes AAR

[Drewbdu]

Welcome to my first AAR! This will be an AAR on the progression of the Anglo-French Union through the era of Enlightenment, Colonialism, and French Liberation!

This is Europe in 1356 Anno Domini. The French think that they deserve their homeland, however Edward III Plantagenet has a rightful claim to the French throne, and the English people are willing to fight for it... or possibly be forced to fight for it.

Chapter 1: The...25 Years War

Letters from the King of England and France
January 13th, 1356

To John Chandos, General of the English Army,
Word has reached me that there are only five thousand men in all of our continental holdings!​

How do you expect us to beat these French dogs without sufficient means to do so? There are twelve thousand troops garrisoning London! On an island nation with no threats except the tribals to the north. I order an immediate retreat of all English armies to the coastline immediately!
Edward III, King of England and France

April 20th, 1356

To John Chandos, General of the English Army,
Now that the English troops have devastated the French army,​

I have found it fit to make the victory a bit more... lopsided. The figures have been added up to be fifteen thousand English troops against sixteen thousand French troops. Although we destroyed a larger force than our own, I would appreciate it if the numbers could be changed to show the true superiority of the English soldier. I think a more fitting "estimate" would be eight thousand English troops destroying the horde of eighteen thousand French troops.
Edward III, King of England and France

June 1st, 1356

To the newly created Board of Mercenary Recruitment,
Although England has been largely successful against their foe on the mainland, the tribals to the north have took it​

upon themselves to side with the French over us!This has led me to hire those soldiers who have no obligation to any single state, so they may fight our enemies with vigor, only with their pay in mind. I hope to have the Scottish under control within the year.
Edward III, King of England and France
September 1st, 1356

To the Board of Mercenary Recruitment,
Despite the recent conquests in France, you imbeciles have dried my coffers clean while getting​

an army of ten thousand completely destroyed! Who do you think you are, forcing me to give money, only for it to go to waste funding the destruction of the English nation? The Scottish, not the tribals, as they have earned their nationhood in my eyes due to the incompetence of your program, have taken the large city of York, along with all of Northumberland and the remaining wealth that the English have. I order you to be efficient with the remainder of the money provided or face being hanged, drawn, and quartered; the popular method of disposal for treasonous filth.
Edward III, King of England and France

Edward III has recently felt that his thoughts should be written down in a diary of sorts... a Dynastic Journal of the Plantagenet. Unfortunately, the king has become obsessed with his new dog, a Corgi by the name of Iron Fist.



August 17th, 1356

The French must now give in to my legitimate claims to the throne! Paris has been taken, and with it​

, all French morale left in the soon to be English territory!However long this war takes, no matter if for one hundred years, this will be seen as a glorious English victory! As English troops march into the suburbs of Paris, crowds will cheer for me, as the reigning French monarch had seen fit to treat his subjects like rabid dogs, I will treat them like a slightly more worth animal... possibly a rabid horse... or possibly a Corgi, as I heard those are pleasant animals.

September 25th, 1357

The Corgis of Paris have arisen to the occasion, and are fighting off the French horde at this very​

moment. My vassals have told me that calling the French corgis has upset many of the citizens there, however the dogs are really quite extraordinary, so I doubt any of my vassals are serious. They must be joking, of course.

April 2nd, 1358

Much of Northern France has become occupied by the English, and much more will be occupied​

by the end of this war. I have become slightly weary though. This war has raged on for twenty-one years, and I fear the nobles may want a reform of sorts, so I may need to rule with an iron fist instead... or simply buy them all Corgis!

February 20th, 1360

My men have pushed back the Scottish to their homeland, driven the French out of their wealthiest territories​

, and destroyed all those who oppose me. The only thing which can come out of this war is an English victory, and the ignorant fools in France need to learn that there is no hope for them in their homeland! All shall pledge their allegiance to Edward III, or face the might of the sword!

August 25th, 1360

It is done. What is being called the "Twenty-Five Years War" has come to an end.​

The French nobles have realized their mistakes, and have made up for them by handing over the French populace to my control. Under my reign, England has become a power which is completely unopposed by anyone, and is on friendly terms with all... except those Iberians to the south, which will pay with their lives for what they have done to our faithful Basque allies. All hail England... All hail Anglo-France.

This is the first time Edward III spoke of the nation of Anglo-France. Before this, talks were all about England crushing the French menace, however giving the French equal terms in the new territories would go a long way to ensure Edward III's stabilization of the realm.







This is the end of Chapter 1. Post any suggestions/comments in the thread and I will try my best to answer them!

 

[leemys2004]

So, former King of the French now Jean de Valois is mere Daunphine now...well, still long way to integrate French realm into single crown!
wait, what happened to Brittany? nor Montfort or Blois was victorious?

 

[Drewbdu]

So, former King of the French now Jean de Valois is mere Daunphine now...well, still long way to integrate French realm into single crown!
wait, what happened to Brittany? nor Montfort or Blois was victorious?

Monfort peaced put after getting one of their provinces sieges :sad:. Both shall pay tribute to the Anglo-French Empire though.

 

[leemys2004]

Monfort peaced put after getting one of their provinces sieges :sad:. Both shall pay tribute to the Anglo-French Empire though.

Well, anyway, John V declared himself and Brittany as vassal of France. Right? early days when I tried to claim French throne with M&T saw strange failure with Montforts not willing to become vassal of me...

 

[blklizard]

Wow, France looks really weak at this starting date. Do they have no vassal whatsoever? I'm asking because I, coincidentally, started an English game on EU3 (Death and Taxes) today and France is a huge pain to deal with . If it's not too much trouble, can you give a brief summary of the diplomatic situation in the France region? There are so many nations and, being unfamiliar with MEIOU and Taxes, I have no idea. Thanks and I will follow along to see how things develop.

 

[EU3NOOB]

Wow, France looks really weak at this starting date. Do they have no vassal whatsoever? I'm asking because I, coincidentally, started an English game on EU3 (Death and Taxes) today and France is a huge pain to deal with . If it's not too much trouble, can you give a brief summary of the diplomatic situation in the France region? There are so many nations and, being unfamiliar with MEIOU and Taxes, I have no idea. Thanks and I will follow along to see how things develop.

This is because French vassals do not start out at war with England. Rest assured, France has vassals.

 

[Drewbdu]

Wow, France looks really weak at this starting date. Do they have no vassal whatsoever? I'm asking because I, coincidentally, started an English game on EU3 (Death and Taxes) today and France is a huge pain to deal with . If it's not too much trouble, can you give a brief summary of the diplomatic situation in the France region? There are so many nations and, being unfamiliar with MEIOU and Taxes, I have no idea. Thanks and I will follow along to see how things develop.

France has all the surrounding territory as vassals (even Burgundy), however only France, Alençon, and Blois start out at war with England. France has numerical superiority even with just their starting army, however they get negative modifiers to morale and discipline to simulate French feudalism vs England's semi-professional army. The biggest thing as England to worry about during the Hundred Years War is to not get stretched too thin when sieging provinces.


Edit: Also, if Dauphiné rebels after the HYW, I will be most certainly screwed, as Dauphiné + vassals is a force to be reckoned with.

 

[blklizard]

France has all the surrounding territory as vassals (even Burgundy), however only France, Alençon, and Blois start out at war with England. France has numerical superiority even with just their starting army, however they get negative modifiers to morale and discipline to simulate French feudalism vs England's semi-professional army. The biggest thing as England to worry about during the Hundred Years War is to not get stretched too thin when sieging provinces.

Edit: Also, if Dauphiné rebels after the HYW, I will be most certainly screwed, as Dauphiné + vassals is a force to be reckoned with.

Ah, that makes more sense. So, your next war with France will be a lot tougher, I would assume. Good luck beating down the BB before they become the BBB .

 

[GoshDaMule]

Subbed.

 

[metalinvader665]

Cool, Anglo-France. Do they get English events like the War of the Roses or the English Civil War?

The Hundred Years War may not be over just yet...

 

[loup99]

A hated England dominating my beloved France in a mod that was mainly made by two guys, one French and another British? Subcribed.

 

[RepublicanIV]

This is really cool

 

[Drewbdu]

Ah, that makes more sense. So, your next war with France will be a lot tougher, I would assume. Good luck beating down the BB before they become the BBB .

If there's another war with France .

Subbed.

Hope you enjoy the AAR!

Cool, Anglo-France. Do they get English events like the War of the Roses or the English Civil War?

The Hundred Years War may not be over just yet...

I'm not completely sure. Hopefully the War of the Roses will not occur due to the HYW being a decisive English victory!

A hated England dominating my beloved France in a mod that was mainly made by two guys, one French and another British? Subcribed.

Hehe, the English will "share" the glory with their "fellow" Frenchman .

This is really cool

Thank you!



If anyone has any suggestions to improve the AAR (making it easier to read/more convenient), or if anyone has any tips on using the indent tool (It's causing me great troubles), then post the below!


Edit: Expect a new update either tonight or tomorrow night!

 

[Enewald]

Meiou <333

 

[vengeance88]

Good luck, and a lot of posts from your AAR

 

[Drewbdu]

As the Twenty-Five Years War ends, tensions still run high. England is in a very weary economic position, with debt skyrocketing, and from which even the most basic military assets may not be paid for in full. Dauphiné is in a very tight spot overall. They are in a bad position militarily, with feudal setbacks still apparent, and with no manpower reserves left. Also, they are in a deplorable state economically, having to pay much of their money to their rightful overlord, and being in almost as much debt as England. What is a fledgling superpower may be a paper tiger in this chapter of That’s a Nice France You’ve Got There.


Chapter 2: The Glory Of London

A note to Edward III from Tyrone is as follows:

Edwardus Dei Gracia Rex Franciae et Anglie et Dominus Hibernie,

I come before you a servant of Tyrone, as a courtier in my lord’s capital. I bring news to you which may fill you with great happiness and joy. The heir to Tyrone is of the Plantagenet dynasty, due to the seemingly successful marriage tying our lands together. A great celebration is being held at this very moment, with a feast in commemoration of the birth,

May God be with you, (name cut out due to “grave ignorance”)

This letter put Edward III into a mad rage. Not because of the baby, but because the courtier had said “our lands” and not “my overlords land, as well as my pitiful county”. Due to this “grave ignorance”, the courtier was immediately imprisoned and his name taken out of history. However the baby was good news, at least…

A letter to the treasurer of England:

To England’s apparently absent treasurer,

Have you no sanity? Over Two thousand two hundred and twenty ducats are due to various parties, and not a penny has been payed! I have just fighting a glorious war for England, and your only job was to make sure we had enough money to continue operating… It was your only job!

Edwardus Dei Gracia Rex Franciae et Anglie et Dominus Hibernie,

The next years saw little-to-no combat, as both England and Dauphiné recovered from their devastating war. Edward III peacefully lived out his years into old age, however the great king died on July 2, 1370, at the age of 58. This saw Edward IV come to power, and for his daughter Elizabeth to become heir, however he was better known by his other name… The Black Prince. Edward IV was a legendary military strategist, just as his father was, which led to English militarism returning… or at least English-run-French-militancy.

In the Plantagenet dynastic journal…

April 25th, 1370,

I have risen to be the most important person that I know. What my father believed was “tribals” to the north happen to be a legitimate kingdom, and as such, I have made the decision to exert English authority over them. The Scots must pay for their policy of disobedience to the English crown.

Edward IV “the Black Prince”


The invasion continues as planned, and Scotland loses battle after battle, and city after city, under the lead of the ruthless Black Prince. The advance slows down however, as new enemies rise against England’s faithful allies.

An excerpt from the “ 1st Treaty of Support of 1371” by Edward IV…

…The Aragonese kingdom has decided that Pisa would be its newest victim, however they are under the protection of the Holy Roman Emperor of Bohemia… Which is protected by mighty Anglo-France. Our armies have an estimated one hundred thousand soldiers, and twenty thousand cavalry, with only forty-five thousand troops on the enemy side. I expect an utterly devastating victory against those Iberians, with minimal losses on our side…

This war started a new strategy of the English under Edward IV… one that both helped England and was detrimental to France. Dauphiné had a vastly inferior army to the English, however this was countered by the huge French armies of both Dauphiné and their feudal vassals. England had a much larger and more diverse navy than the French or the Spanish. this led to the French fighting England’s land wars for them, and the French having the English fight their naval wars for them. This wore down the French much more than the English, and due to the inferiority of the French army, often led to the effective dismantling of the French army. Due to the masterful diplomacy of Edward IV, the Kingdom of England was able to effectively make the French weak while simultaneously increasing England’s wealth…



A letter between Edward IV and his treasurer:

You must have been sent from God! England has repaid all her debts in just fifteen years, and has nearly tripled her income! You shall receive a personal gift from me to hopefully motivate your work even further. May our commerce thrive, and England’s coffers fill under your leadership!
Edward IV “The Black Prince”

Despite the success of England, the constant warfare in the past twenty years has cause a large scale peasant revolt right at the heart of England. Due to this threat, the English army expands to fifteen thousand men, with ten thousand infantry, and five thousand cavalry. This became the standard build of England’s armies until the arrival of artillery. Luckily, the revolt was crushed within a few months of it getting started, and England returned to the status quo…

June 12th, 1376 - June 1st, 1406
To the “Kings” of Dauphiné, Albret, and Scotland,

I order an increase in the percentage of taxes given to your rightful overlord, and an increased levy in time of need! Failure to take these into consideration will certainly result in war. Centralization will continue until I see fit for it to stop, and if demands are not met with compliance, it will be seen as an act of treason against myself, and the Kingdom of England.

Edward IV “The Black Prince”

This was the last major order sent from the Black Prince before he perished in London on the morning of March both, 1379. His death may have been caused by his unhealthy lifestyle, or perhaps he was killed by a chicken, as legend has it. The king died at the age of forty-eight, and his daughter Anne I rose to the throne, due to the recent death of Elizabeth I.

An excerpt from the “2nd Treaty of Support of 1381”


…Despite my rise to the throne, I will uphold my duties and obligations to defend the Kingdom of Bohemia against all aggression towards it. The Danish have decided to invade Bohemia’s faithful ally of Holstein, and Anglo-France has brought it upon herself to protect both Holstein and the Holy Roman Empire against the Danish and the rebellious Mecklenburgians."

However, her true feelings were a bit contrary…


In an order to her top generals, Queen Anne I stated…

"I am not a puppet! Those Bohemians may think of us as their “trustworthy ally”, however they are in for a rude awakening once this war is over! May God have mercy on their soul, for they shall see the might of the English sword weigh down upon their shoulders. Starting now, do not send any English… or French… soldiers into the midst of battle. Tell the Danish we will not demand anything from them, and let Bohemia fight them on their own."

The “War of Bohemian Aggression”, as Queen Anne I called it, caused a drift of England away from the powerful Holy Roman Empire, and in effect started the hostile relations with Bohemia to come. Eventually, Holstein retook all their cores and part of Skane away from Denmark, however by this point, Queen Anne I had brokered a separate peace with the Danish and had broken her alliance with Bohemia.

Throughout the 1380s, Lollardy became an increasingly appealing religious option for England, as the priest of its origin continued to speak of Church corruption, and what the Church should and shouldn’t be. This came to a climax in 1385 when a petition was formed asking for the election of priests instead of appointments. The Heresy Acts effectively stopped the spread of Lollardy throughout England.



In 1386, Queen Anne I wisely declared war on Artois, and quickly seized and conquered the area, which had revolted from Anjou recently before this. This territory was great to the English because it connected the Pale of Calais to Dauphiné, and allowed quick passage from France into Caux by the English.

What comes next was a surprise to both England and those surrounding her. Because of Portugal’s long-lasting friendship and alliance with England, Queen Anne I quickly joined Portugal in their War of Aggression against the heathen Fassian armies. The King of Scotland was ordered to send his troops to siege Melilla, and in a separate peace, Melilla was taken by England. This is the first time that England actively took part in the conquest of overseas territory, and despite it being a failure, it paved the way for future conquests against far away victims. The peasants in Melilla quickly arose against their Christian overlords, and Queen Anne I was forced to sell the province back to Fez.

In December 1391, Friesland attacked Holland, which was a vassal of Burgundy, which was a vassal of Dauphiné, which was a vassal of England. The now reformed professional French army quickly wiped out the Frisian armies, and a peace was brokered in August of 1392.

Queen Anne I was quoted as saying “We are lucky the French are ours to keep, or else they may destroy us just as easy”

As well as “…The Castilians were asking for it! They had no right to tell me what my troops can and cannot do around their border…”

England went through a period of peace for the next eight years, and this caused even more wealth to accumulate in the newly built treasury. The most important architectural achievement of Queen Anne’s reign is most definitely the Notre Dame de Londres, which was built in this period of peace, and it is a sight which even the Notre Dame de Paris has trouble standing up to. The Cathedral took nearly a decade to build, and it can be seen far and wide in London, towering over the houses and churches in the booming city.

In Queen Annes personal diary she wrote “This magnificent structure rises into the heavens, and it may very well be God’s gift to all Englishmen… actually, it is my gift to all Englishmen, for I am chosen by God to lead!"

Hope you enjoyed this extra long Chapter 2!

 

[EU3NOOB]

It seems Anne is a tad bit arrogant...


ALL HAIL BRITANNIA!!! ALL HAIL THE HELLIX FOSSIL!!!

 

[Drewbdu]

Meiou <333

MEIOU and Taxes is the Emperor of Kings of Mods.

Good luck, and a lot of posts from your AAR

Thank you!

It seems Anne is a tad bit arrogant...


ALL HAIL BRITANNIA!!! ALL HAIL THE HELLIX FOSSIL!!!

Yes, Anne is a 1/1/3, so she is stupid but militant .

 

[Enewald]

Now make Friesland a vassal of Holland, which is a vassal of Burgundy, which is a vassal of Dauphin, which is a vassal of England.

YOU MUST GO DEEPER.

 

[blklizard]

How big is Dauphine's army? What exactly does the assimilation events do (do they show the progress you are diplo-annexing them)? How does it work with having these vassal chains? Did they occur before the game started or were they development following ingame events and/or wars?