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Yuri3.7

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Chief Ragusa- Thank you very much! We'll see what happens to Livonia in the next update. I'm sure you'll be pleased. As a result of these last two updates, I've played maybe 15 more years of the game. I'm at 1485, I think. The very latest session was VERY exciting. :D

Verdas- Welcome to the thread! You're absolutely right about Austria and Hungary killing each other, but hey, I'm sure that won't happen to me anytime soon... I think my overall plan is to crush Poland and Lithuania, consolidate Germany, and just see where the winds take me from there. Regardless of what happens, I'll do my best.
 

Yuri3.7

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I also wanted to let everyone know that it's the beginning of Thanksgiving Break for me here in the United States, and I'll be away from my gaming computer for the next 5 days or so. As a reward for your patience, I'll make a new chapter as soon as I return home, but I can't guarantee anything as I arrive back very late at night.

Once again, thank you all very much for making my first AAR such a good experience!
 

Yuri3.7

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Hello everyone! I wanted to apologize for not posting an update yesterday. I'm in grad school right now, and I had a fairly important 20 page paper to finish up, which I did, but only barely. I promise that I will write the next update later tonight. Thank you all so very much for your patience! I promise the next update is worth the wait!
 

RepublicanIV

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Is this AAR over?
 

Yuri3.7

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Brave readers, I bear bad news. My workload exploded in the last month or so and then I went home for the holidays with none of my screenshots carried with me. I'm applying to Ph.D. programs right now too, as well as mopping up coursework that I had to take incompletes this semester for. I am quite sad that I haven't updated the AAR, but I've just had no time. I think I played through 2 good chapters' worth of material, so there's certainly stuff to go around. Hopefully when I return to my main computer in January I can resume the AAR. It was just getting good, though I admit that the Protestant Reformation hadn't happened yet so I haven't braved Prussia's terrible, terrible conversion woes which are nothing short of hilarious.

I guess I learned from writing this much how disciplined the other writers of AARLand are, and that I simply have a lot of work to do to catch up to their professionalism and prowess. I really appreciate how you all are quite supportive of Teutonic Tribulations. If you would like, I can try to write a pictureless series of chapters over the next month to tie us over. Would you, my noble readers, like that?
 

RepublicanIV

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Hmm....

I have an idea... why don't you write about a major battle so far as one of the soldiers or perhaps the commander, like a little fan fiction chapter?
 

Yuri3.7

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Alright! I'm back in Colorado to resume school, and as an added bonus I have my computer with all my screenies on it too!

We're probably all aware of the upcoming (11 hours!) release of Conquest of Paradise. I intend to copy the current version of EU4 over to a non-steam locale on my computer so that I can keep this AAR running unmolested, but I will ask those of you who still want me to write a question: Should I abandon this work and instead just start a new AAR with a different country with the new Expansion? There's merit to keeping this one alive too, so I'm not against either choice. But know that I will now institute a hard rule- Updates Every Thursday. There, I said it. I can't go back on my word now. Please ignore all the times over the last two months when I did go back on my word. That was then. This is now.
 

Mkoll13

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I concur!
 

Overkill

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The main thing I want to see is an AAR on the Teutonic Order. Whether you start over or continue this one does not matter to me.
 

Yuri3.7

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Chapter 4: Turning the Tide

In the last chapter of Teutonic Tribulations, we saw how the great Hochmeister Heinrich managed to subjugate Pomerania and conquer the wealthy province of Riga in a largely successful campaign. Heinrich’s victory had been challenged by uppity generals who balked at the supposed difficulty of his achievements. Heinrich needed a new target to truly demonstrate his empire-building skills. He found it up north. Livonia would need to be brought to heel.
As Heinrich readied the armies of the Order to march north, disturbing news came from Lithuania.

budb.jpg

The dog is off its chain!

Lithuania had broken free from its Personal Union with Poland following the death of the old Polish king. Teutons everywhere breathed sighs of relief since the threat of a united Polish-Lithuanian Commonwealth, a ludicrous and absurd idea, seemed to have evaporated. Their tune changed quickly when the Lithuanians allied with Poland and then had their own designs on Livonia.

jit7.jpg

At least they’re at war with Muscovy?

Heinrich wasted precious little time. When the army was ready, he ordered it north, hoping to secure enough territory to vassalize that which was once Teutonic before the Lithuanians gobbled too much of it. The Livonian army was vastly weaker than the Teutonic army, and without Muscovy to fight, the Teutons expended little effort in subjugating the country. Nonetheless, Lithuania managed to take over Kurland, preventing the Order from having a contiguous land route to Livonia all to itself.

hn9y.jpg

Heinrich made good on his promises, didn’t he, generals?

Unfortunately for the good Hochmeister, Heinrich’s successes in battle did not protect him from the depredations of war. Weakened by such continual stress, Heinrich died while on campaign, his victory clearly present before him.

l30x.jpg

Der Hochmeister ist tot. Long live Hochmeister Wolfgang! He’s not that bad of a Hochmeister himself!

Wolfgang had the privilege of finishing what Heinrich had started. With Livonia broken, the Order waited for Lithuania to take Kurland before submitting its peace terms. The Livonians had no choice but to accept.

ocfo.jpg

It’s okay to take some Aggressive Expansion because making the Order more durable against its enemies is totally worthwhile, right? Besides, what harm could possibly come from vassalizing the Livonians?

Wolfgang had much to be proud of. Though his successes were built off of Heinrich’s efforts, he had ensured the Order gained another victory, and through conquest came manpower and money. Time would tell if the Teutons’ neighbors would allow them to consolidate all these newly found gains.
 

Yuri3.7

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Dear readers, the outpouring of support I've read from all of you really has inspired me to keep on going with Teutonic Tribulations. I confess that a month is a long time to take to resuscitate something, but I'm sure it's not the first time such a pause was taken in AARLand. I should explain that the delay stemmed from the confluence of Final Exams, Ph.D. applications, and finally some serious personal drama that ended quite unsatisfactorily. Lest I complain on the internet about that, I will keep my peace as to the details.

Nonetheless, I apologize for this short post to inaugurate a new beginning. I indeed moved the files so I'll be playing 1.3 unabated and the purity of Teutonic Tribulations will be maintained. There are at least two chapters more of gameplay for me to write about before I have to play some more (what a shame), so take heart in the Thursdaily schedule I've set for myself. I will start writing off personal responses to all of your fine and encouraging posts this weekend! Thank you all once again for sticking with me. Hopefully my game will stop being so nice to me and get back to throwing some curveballs. Honestly, we're all here to see me fail spectacularly, right? I know I would be. :)
 

draik

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Ah, excellent! I greatly enjoyed the start of this AAR and eagerly look forward to its continuance. Keep up the great work knowing that those of us reading are excited to see where it goes, curveballs and all!
 

Yuri3.7

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Chapter 5: Livonia’s Revenge
Hochmeister Wolfgang’s smashing victory over the Livonian Order brought the old northern chunks of the Order back together politically with the Teutonic South. When things were just starting to look up for the Order, there was really no chance that things could go south!

Teutons everywhere had reasons to think so! Soon after the Knights’ victory against Livonia, the Order began to annex its old enemy-turned-vassal, Pomerania. In 10 years, the Order would own even more of the Baltic coast and even more of the juicy trade that flowed through it. Scotland, for some reason, saw that the winds of change were blowing in the Baltic and proposed an alliance. Wolfgang was confused, understandably, but decided that having more friends never hurts. After all, Scotland could surely do much more to help the Order than Hungary and the Kalmar Union ever did back in the dark days of the First Livonian War. Finally, the Order’s treasury was filled to the brim when the leading clergy decided that they should sell, ahem, cede some church functions to leading noblemen. Things were truly looking up for the brave Teutons.

DenmarksBidforOsel_zpsd164629b.jpg

Well, shit.

The Knights were taken aback that Denmark, their old unhelpful ally, thought that the Teutonic Order was so weak as to attempt to take Osel from the newly vassalized Livonian Order! Teutonic generals and soldiers sighed with relief that the war would mostly be fought on the Baltic, where Teutonic naval prowess had already been demonstrated on many occasions. Nevertheless, the army was mobilized and ordered to move north into Livonia to head off any incursions by land and specifically to defend Osel so as to rack up war score.


Well, crud. Also on this list are allies too insignificant to mention: Luneburg and The Hansa.

Lithuania’s entrance in the war sounded alarms throughout the Order. There was not a single knight or peasant who had forgotten the disasters wrought by tens of thousands of homicidal Lithuanians decades prior. The entrance of Lithuania, however, prompted Austria to join on the Order’s side in defense of the Empire.

The first engagement of the war came when the Teutonic army, shipped to Livonia, got bushwacked by seemingly inferior Swedish troops who solidly crushed the poor Knights.


Drat.

The Teutonic army rushed deeper into Russia where it was hoped that the troops could rest and reinforce so that they might fight another day. But Sweden had other ideas.


Double drat.

The Teutonic army was shattered and forced to retreat. Meanwhile, 30,000 Lithuanian and Polish troops started seiging the homeland again. While we had counted on protection from the Emperor and our allies, our diplomats were aghast to see our worst fears—Austria and Hungary were busy duking it out. Once again, things looked grim for the Order.


Why.

After a few ping-pongs from Polish and Lithuanian troops unable (or unwilling?) to finish the Order’s army off, the death blow came. Wolfgang’s successful career seemed to be going down in flames.


Well, we honestly knew this was coming when the Lithuanians joined in.

While the war was going bad for the brave Teutonic Knights, the Order’s allies seemed to be having better luck. The Hansa and Luneburg, aided by the Teutonic and their own fleets, began a full-scale invasion of Denmark, hoping to knock the Danes off balance.


Honestly, I’m as astonished as you are that I have useful allies.

The Teutonic generals were astonished at this turn of events. Historically, the only useful ally the Order has ever had was Hungary, and the Hungarians were truly only useful for being meat shields for the many battles the Order got itself into. Such a crisis of conscience was on the generals’ minds when they broke into open unrest at choosing a particular line of strategy. We chose to go defensive because, let’s face it, was there really much of a choice at this point?


That stab loss hurts, but getting a 10% defensiveness buff is nice to have in times like these.

Meanwhile, Scotland’s leadership was utterly befuddled that it might be called into a defensive war due to its treaty obligations with the Order. The Scottish army decided that the only prudent thing to do was to wait on the coast of Scotland, looking out to the Baltic in the hopes of staring the Danes down. Even when their country was invaded by equally malicious Norse, the Scots refused to budge.


We can’t have good allies all across the board here. That would be unseemly.

With the army completely destroyed on land and the situation turning desperate, but not unsalvageable, the Order unleashed its wooden wall, winner of several important wars in the past decades. The battle fleet caught the entire Danish fleet in transit near Bornholm.


The fate of the war lay in the hands of the Teutonic sailors.

Luckily, the allies took note of the Order’s last-ditch naval assault and poured their formidable fleets into the fray. Their contributions ensured victory in the Baltic.


It’s a beautiful and rare occurrence to see our men beating the whole of the Kalmar Union.

By chance, Austria and Hungary decided at this moment to stop fighting and peace out with each other. Austrian troops quickly marched to the rescue of their beleaguered Teutonic subjects and caught the Lithuanian army in the Palatinate. The Lithuanians were skewered to a man.


The clouds have parted!

Swollen with pride and captured vessels, the Teutonic navy set sail to hammer the final nails in Denmark’s coffin. The Danish army was caught at Fyn by the allied expeditionary force. Unable to retreat, the Danes surrendered quickly.


Now, that’s more like it!

The Danes saw the writing on the wall and put feelers out to the Order and its allies while the battle was engaged. Austria and Scotland immediately bailed from the war with white peaces. The Hansa follows that trend quickly afterwards. We decide to be a bit more exacting with our terms.


Perhaps a paltry treaty, but at least the Order won a victory by any definition! Apparently we frightened off Brandenburg with our victory as well.

No sooner did the ink dry on the treaty, than Munster attacked our ally Luneburg. We joined in defense of our loyal friend. In addition, the admin points that were built up finally got us to Admin level 7. With all the loans the Order has been taking, it made sense to go for the Economic idea branch. Cheaper loans, cheaper inflation reduction, and higher taxes all sound good to me.

What a doosy of an update! The brave Teutonic Knights overcame adversity and won a war! Now who can stop them? Will the Knights ever not be attacked by an aggressive enemy? Will Lithuania ever rear its ugly head again? Will the Kalmar Union finally break? What about the rest of the German principalities? Stay tuned for the next exciting episode of Teutonic Tribulations!
 

Yuri3.7

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Feb 22, 2005
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And now for some long overdue author responses...

First of all, I want to briefly apologize for being a bit later than Thursday with this most recent submission. I hope you can appreciate the hugeness of this chapter and my need to make my writing as funny as possible, and sometimes it just doesn't want to flow. However, I am now only one update away from having to play this game some more so I hope to get that to you all this coming Thursday!

Anyways, onto the comments! :D

RepublicanIV- Thank you so much for your enthusiastic and helpful suggestions to try to help me get Teutonic Tribulations on track! I'm sorry I didn't respond to you sooner, but I should say right now for the record that I have not a single creative bone in my body, so doing something creative as writing a character based battle narrative just isn't my style. It really was a good idea. This is an open invitation to anyone, however, who would like to write a creative piece in the world of Teutonic Tribulations, that you have my permission to go ahead and do just that! I would be flattered to see something creative spawn from a crazy game of EU4. :)

The Colonel- I'm back now and I hope you like the two new updates I have! Thank you for your concern!

I also received a few comments from November:

Berlichingen- Thank you so much! My Thanksgiving was a pretty good one I'll say, though the details are not as vivid now that it was two months ago. Welcome aboard the AAR!

Repent- Welcome to Teutonic Tribulations! May I just say that your name is fitting for an AAR about the Order? I hope the new chapters I have were worth the wait!

And to all of you who have read this humble AAR of mine, thank you so much for sticking with me and encouraging me to write more. It's a very cathartic, if guilt-inducing, exercise and it does force me to be a bit more intimate with a videogame than I'm used to. I hope to see more of you around the Paradox forums! :)