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Yuri3.7

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The Teutonic Order, a state which historically would square off, ultimately unsuccessfully, against the arrayed might of Poland and Lithuania, and would eventually form the basis of the eastern provinces of Brandenburg. A crusading order with a storied history, filled with dramatic ups and downs.

A country which from EU3's start date was like this:

ky95.jpg

Woah. Vanilla EU3 is quite uglier than I recall.

and now is like this:

3for.jpg

Look at that! I don't even have Estonia and Latvia anymore! But at least I get Neumark?

Welcome to my first AAR! If you’re reading this, you’re about to experience the joys of playing the Teutonic Order in a single player Ironman game because anything else is for wusses. A country in dire need of pacified neighbors, but one that cannot enter royal marriages. A country in dire need of powerful allies, but smack dab in the middle of a whole mess of countries that would rather skewer it than ally with it. A country that is at the total mercy of the rest of Catholic Europe to trigger the Protestant reformation because a good deal of those events that add reform desire only apply to monarchies. Oh, and did I mention that my heirs are randomly generated and I have no idea what the next one is going to be like until the current Hochmeister dies?

I’m keeping all the options that I can change to their defaults, and the difficulty to medium, because I’m still not great at this game. Buckle up, ladies and gentlemen. This is going to be one wild ride.

Goals:
1) Survive as the Teutonic Order long enough to form Prussia.
2) Form Germany.
3) ?????
4) Profit

Table of Contents:
Chapter 1: Setting the Stage
Chapter 2: The Great Livonian War
Chapter 3: Consolidation and New Allies
Chapter 4: Turning the Tide
Chapter 5: Livonia's Revenge
 
Last edited:

Yuri3.7

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Chapter 1: Setting the Stage

There’s a fair amount to do in the beginning of any game of EU4. First thing’s first, I need to think of whom I can ally with, given my precious 4 diplomatic relations.

i38c.jpg

The Teutonic Order, a rather medium sized fish in a pond full of big ones.

My strategy for this game is to buddy up with big powers that do not have immediate designs on my territory and prevent myself from acquiring an alliance structure that is fundamentally unstable, while at the same time gaining a group of allies who would be more than happy to contain Poland and Lithuania. It is especially important that if I intend to deal a blow to Poland, I do so before the Poles inevitably make the decision that gives them a PU with Lithuania. Tens of thousands of screaming Lithuanians invading Danzig would not do well for morale.

Thus I choose to ally myself with Denmark, whose navy is gigantic and their PU with Sweden guarantees them a large army and even more boats, Hungary to contain Poland from the south, and Bohemia to contain Poland from the west and give Neumark some well-needed help. I also plan to ally myself with Muscovy since they provide excellent cannon fodder against Lithuania, I hope. I start with Denmark and Bohemia, since they’re the most powerful ones I’ve just mentioned,

You might notice that I didn’t ally with the Livonian Order. I honestly feel that their lands are marginal at best, and their cultures aren’t accepted by the Teutonic Order at the game’s start, but they are so weak that they would be better off being vassalized and then annexed by me rather than left alone as an ally which just dangles itself in front of Denmark just waiting for the Danes to attack Osel and drag me into said maelstrom. Besides, I’m a theocracy- I don’t get to absorb people the diplomatic way. I even elect to ignore a nice mission asking me to ally with the Livonians and set my sights on conquest.

kjnn.jpg

Look at that cash flow.

Economically, the order is in semi-decent shape. We’ll need to tech up to get temples before the cash will really start to flow. More importantly, we just need some good base tax provinces. These lie to the south in Poland and to the east with Riga. Hopefully things will go well for us. My plan is to take out a whole bunch of loans to build temples and drive down the inflation with admin as I wait for ahead of tech penalties to burn off as I’m waiting to research the next admin tech. My advisors are a bit sparse, and since I can barely afford three, I take a diplomatic reputation guy, a reinforce speed guy, and a revolt risk guy. Hopefully these three will allow me to make allies faster, keep my armies in the fight just a little bit longer, and keep the homeland from tearing itself apart. Trade wise, the game already places merchants in the optimal territories. As largesse allows, hopefully I’ll be able to make a move for a greater hold on the Baltic. Right now, light ships are a bit too pricey.

9dji.jpg

It’s a good thing I got really lucky with my advisors because my Hochmeister sucks.

Finally, I choose some lame mission about spreading my culture to Chelmno. Honestly, I think the culture spread mechanic is a bit gamey, but hey, it was either change culture or ally with the Livonian order. Besides, by flipping Chelmno, I actually will make more money and manpower for fewer points than if I flipped Neumark. I congratulate myself for my mathematical prowess.
I unpause the game and learn that, sadly, the Bohemians want nothing to do with me and that they only said that I would make a really good ally at the beginning of the game to get my hopes up. I pick myself up with the knowledge that at least the Danes and their Kalmar Union are safely in my court, and move ahead to allying with Hungary. Meanwhile, I start fabricating a claim on Kurland and set the Livonians and the Poles as my rivals and then get to work on buttering up Austria, just in case.

mhvu.jpg

Does anyone else find it sad that despite the whole CB thing, the Livonians want to ally with me?

As my diplomat just finishes fabricating the claim on Kurland, a quick check of the diplomacy screen reveals a terrible reality: the Livonians have successfully allied with Lithuania! Concerned, but not undeterred, I check the ever-helpful ledger. Lithuania indeed has 23000 homicidal maniacs ready to spring on me. I am counting on them not pulling Poland in, as Poland and Livonia have no direct relationship. In addition, the Danes and Swedes have 20,000 men, as do the Hungarians (who sadly lack any sort of contiguous borer with my enemies). Austria is getting warmer, but I can’t risk Poland’s PU coming to fruition. As for the Livonians and Rigans, I count only 8,000 total. I should be able to win this, so long as my allies come through. The time to act is now.

u1yv.jpg

Alea iacta est! Also, we might be down a few thousand cavalry, but we’re up 10,000 infantry.

Will the Teutonic Knights be able to retake their long lost Estonian provinces? Will Bohemia stop being a sour puss towards me? Will Austria warm up in time to take their place by my side as guardians of the East? Tune in next time to Teutonic Tribulations!
 

CatKnight

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I'm stunned Denmark allied with you. When I played the TO they were too busy trying to make landfall in Livonian territory. Perhaps the difference is I used a 1399 start with the LO my vassal.

This is winnable, but just. It all depends on containing the Lithuanians - and if they drag Poland in, you have bigger problems.

Once this is over you might want to just get rid of Neumark. It's nice to have, sure, but just antagonizes Brandenburg and Bohemia and opens up another potential front.
 

MiniaAr

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Interesting to see that you did not chose to enter the HRE, which is possible at game start with a bit of lip service to the soon-to-be Archduke in Austria. This would have helped you in case you wanted to connect Neumark with your main territories (hello Pommerania).
 

unmerged(58610)

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I think the intention is to link Neumark via Poland and that's a war that will start 61 days before the one with Livonia-Lithuania will end. I rather like the EU3 Teutonic Order. It's more substance than its 1440 EUIV counterpart.

I'd like to see you stay the Teutonic Order at least until the Protestant reformation spreads into your lands.
 

Panzer4life

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The Teutonic Order is rather in a crap position, since Neumark is cut off from the rest of the Order, and the Lithuanians are so god damn big in terms of their starting armies. Though I wonder why the revolts it gets never drown their army, they always seems to deal with foregin powers first. :(

That said, if you can get to form Prussia, then the Order has some serious potential to wreck Eastern Europe a new one.
 

unmerged(37855)

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In my Teutonic order games(2of them) , it was impossible to ally Danes, they always choose TO as rivals. I started spreading in direction of Neva and eventually I grabbed decent part of Novgorod and Livonian order to survive Poland-Lithuania attacks
 

Warlord Skorr

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It's a little disconcerting to see that all of Scandinavia combined only slightly outnumbers Lithuania if you assume the Livonian and Teutonic Orders are equal. I haven't played around in eastern Europe yet, so I hadn't quite understood the danger of the formation of the Commonwealth before.

May God favor the Brothers of the German House of Saint Mary, for no one else shall.
 

Mkoll13

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Hopefully your homicidal maniacs are more maniacally homicidal than theirs!
 

Yuri3.7

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Hello everyone! I apologize for the immense delay in the second chapter- I've been quite busy at school over the past week, and it doesn't seem to be letting up. I've played through to around 1490, so I have a lot of chapters still to write- including the Great Livonian War! Expect a chapter tomorrow night at the latest.

Thank you so much for your interest in my AAR. I promise I'll get better at writing these on schedule!
 

Mkoll13

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Reality comes first unfortunately but it is good to hear that a new update is coming!
 

Yuri3.7

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First of all, I want to apologize again for starting this AAR without adequately preparing myself for a regular posting schedule. As I mentioned earlier, I have played a lot more of the game, and I'm finding that it's a really big challenge to not play the game before I've written more of the AAR first! Anyways, time for some responses to you, my blessed fans! Thank you so much for taking the time to read my first AAR! If you have any opinions about my writing style, or the format as a whole, please feel free to give them to me! I only request that we keep it gameplay oriented because I can't be bothered to be creative. Not one bit.

CatKnight- You know, every game I've booted up as the TO starts with Denmark more than happy to ally with me. They were a lucky catch, but, as we'll see in a minute, not very helpful. I also have to say that your AARs were actually a huge inspiration for this one and I'm really happy you stumbled across mine. It's a pleasure to have old veterans here advising new blood!

MiniaAr- While it's absolutely true that I was going to try to take down Pommerania, I had honestly not at all considered joining the HRE. As you'll see from this next chapter, that might be necessary after all. Thank you for this excellent suggestion!

Chief Ragusa- Yup! I certainly would like to roleplay when it suits me, and it just so happens that the requirements to go Prussia are Admin 10, and to be Protestant. I'm not going to switch immediately (a few test games have shown the transition to be...unstable), but I am definitely going to switch when the Reformation frees us from an awful government system.

Panzer4life- The TO's start is simply awful! But there's Danzig and Ostpreussen which control two estuaries and have humongous base tax levels that keep this ship afloat. In test games, I've found the old EU4 death spiral (War that leads to no manpower, which leads to permanent rebels) is certainly a major risk, so I can't afford to do anything crazy until I get Prussia's awesome ideas. I can't wait to tear Poland and Lithuania a new one and get moving into Germany.

eugene171- Well, not for the moment, at least ;)

Dmondragon- That's basically the strategy I am going to try. I wonder why I'm able to ally with Denmark when you and CatKnight can't? Oh well. They didn't do much anyways.

Warlord Skorr- Your prayers are gratefully accepted! Honestly, there's even more bad guys coming than I ever thought would come.

Mkoll13- Thank you for picking up on that nice little joke. We Teutons are brave warriors and pious knights, but will our sword arms be able to withstand the aches of slaughtering thousands of Lithuanians? I do not know.
 

Yuri3.7

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Chapter 2: The Great Livonian War

When we last left off, our intrepid Teutonic Knights had smelt opportunity and decided that the alliance structure between Livonia and the Lithuanians gave them a perfect chance to smash the Livonians and take over the northern Baltic.
Unfortunately it wouldn’t go that way.

First of all, somehow, even though the Teutons had invited all their allies, Hungary did not decide to join the war. A Teutonic diplomat hastened from Danzig to requisition their aid. Apparently their previously reserved tone changed to outright enthusiasm, and the Hungarians sent their assent back with the diplomat. Unfortunately, when the diplomat returned, he brought more sad news.

mxx6.jpg

Uh oh.

It seemed that while the brave Teutonic armies plunged headlong into Livonian territory, trying to force a decisive battle while the Lithuanian army still hadn’t reached the border, the Lithuanians took the mantle of the war upon themselves and just as quickly summoned their allies. Novgorod also answered Lithuania’s call for aid shortly thereafter. The tides had quickly turned against the Knights. But since they were a brave crusading order on the fringes of eastern Europe for hundreds of years, the Knights had not lost hope!

The loss of hope came with the complete and utter destruction of the Teutonic army. While the Knights were easily able to slaughter Riga’s army, Lithuanian cavalry tore north, eventually linking up with the Livonian army as well as Novgorod’s army, which had also quickly assembled. The Teutonic Knights scrambled back to Kurland, and then attempted to board ships and make it to Osel where they would be safe, but sadly were intercepted and killed to a man. It was now up to Denmark and Hungary to handle Lithuania’s alliance system.

s3jj.jpg

Not even before the blood of the Knights had grown cold on the battlefields of Kurland did Lithuanian homicidal maniacs begin barreling down upon the Teutonic heartland.

Sadly, the Teutonic allies had been too caught up in their own struggles to make much of a difference in the Order’s fate. Hungary earlier had decided the best way to aid the war effort was to attack Moldavia. True, they were allied to the Teutons to deflect Poland’s ire, but Moldavia?

q3m7.jpg

Stupid Hungarians. They probably attacked Moldavia because they knew they could win there.

Luckily for the Knights, the Hungarians quickly got the message that their allies were in trouble and made haste towards the north to try to salvage the situation. They make it as far north as Leczyca before they are shredded by tens of thousands of Polish troops.

wy04.jpg

Perhaps that last comment was too close to home.

While the Hochmeister had decided to take emergency measures and take many loans to furiously rebuild the army, Brandenburg smelt blood in the water and judged that it could retake Neumark safely now. With that news, Denmark broke the alliance with the Teutons, though the resilient Hungarians, even though their army was destroyed, joined in this new war.

ecbe.jpg

The strategic situation days after Brandenburg declared war. Note how they are already in Neumark. Greedy bastards.

Hungary, however, somehow managed to reconstitute its forces and sent an army, 11 thousand strong, into Neumark to save the beleaguered Knights.

0nwa.jpg

Well, maybe I was wrong about you Hungarians.

Hungary’s valiant act was repaid by none other than Pomerania, who decided that it would be wise to attack the Knights when a strong Hungarian army was at their doorstep.

qtud.jpg

When it rains, it pours.

While insanity ensued on the western front, Teutonic generals were pleased to see that the Kalmar Union had made what seemed to be a breakthrough against Novgorod. Kalmar troops even entered the fringes of Estonia, and it looked like there might be a breakthrough from our good Danish friends after all.

3km3.jpg

You guys might have bailed on me, but as long as we gain ground somewhere, we can do something.

Yet these same Teutonic generals were horrified when the Kalmar troops began splitting up to besiege territories instead of cluster together to fight the massive Lithuanian and reconstituted Novgorodian armies. These Kalmar detachments were picked off, one at a time. No aid would be coming from the north. The war, which had once started on such bombastic and haughty goals, had turned into a war for survival. The troops that were drafted in the Hochmeister’s emergency measures were attached to the Hungarian army in the hopes of repulsing some of the enemy armies. A last ditch battle was fought at Kurland between the Livonians and Novgorodians and the Hungarians and Teutons.

rsgu.jpg

Is this our deliverance?

Sadly this was not meant to be. Lithuanian troops once again belted towards the brave knights, and on the same plain as before, the knights were slaughtered mercilessly, along with our Hungarian allies. Defeated, Teutonic diplomats were sent to Vilnius to seek appropriate peace terms. Interestingly, these terms were quite mild. The Lithuanians were content to continue to bleed the Teutonic treasury, so long as the Knights terminated their alliance with Hungary. Without consulting our noble Hungarian allies, we quickly grasped Lithuania’s olive branch, relieved that, though our brave soldiers had died for nothing, we had not lost a single inch of land.

3g4x.jpg

Well, at least those Hungarians weren’t terribly useful allies in the first place!

While this peace treaty had ended the Great Livonian War, Pomerania still had to be dealt with. Hungary, as war leader in both engagements, had peaced out with Brandenburg for a few ducats. Pomerania still had some fight left in it. Luckily our fleet had been left completely alone in the war thus far, and it sailed out to engage the Pomeranians and their allies, the Mecklenburgers. While we fought the Pomeranians to a standstill, the Mecklenburger navy was vastly smaller than the Teutonic fleet, and collapsed quickly.

qx71.jpg

Thank god for the galley combat bonus in seas!

nd70.jpg

Lopsided naval victories like these help keep the fleet fresh and get us nice new barques to make more money with.

With their navies beaten and ports blockaded, Pomerania and Mecklenburg quickly came to simple terms with Hungary. The wars were over. Now we have to lick our wounds and rebuild.
 
Last edited:

unmerged(58610)

Field Marshal
Jul 2, 2006
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Well that went well. All wars lead to the Teutonic Order. It's advisable not to lose your army. Vultures descend, when you do. You got out with loans but no loss of land. Surprisingly both Denmark and Hungary provided some assistance. Not perhaps as much as they could. You're alive to fight another day.
 

Mkoll13

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I wonder if "and then the army was annihilated to a man" will become a recurring theme? :p
 

Yuri3.7

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Let's just say that the war could have been managed much better had I remembered that wars for claims on territory can switch alliance leader. I thought it would be just like EU3 wars and pin Livonia in with Lithuania as a junior partner. I'm happy it's not. Honestly, it's very frustrating to read AARs in which the player only wins. That's boring! So I don't mind losing my army to the last man if it means a more dramatic story. Just as long as I win in the end. ;)
 

Yuri3.7

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Chapter Three: Consolidation and New Allies

The catastrophic defeats against Lithania and her allies had left us beaten, but the generous peace terms, as well as Hungarian intervention prevented the Teutonic Order from being completely shattered. It also helped that the majority of our manpower was left untapped since our armies were all slaughtered to a man. It was time to rebuild both the country, and the army.
The first thing of note was that the attempt to change Chelmno’s culture finally completed, completing the mission we had chosen back at the game’s start.

rqk3.jpg

Gamey, but effective at bolstering our flagging economy.

Our next order of business was to take stock of our diplomatic situation. Denmark had abandoned me during the Great Livonian War, and I had abandoned my faithful but hapless Hungarian allies in order to save myself from the scourge of Lithuania. New friends had to be made. We had begun working on ingratiating ourselves to Austria prior to the war, and yet we still were unable to make a dent in their opinion of us. Muscovy too, the most logical anti-Lithuanian choice, still remained out of reach for an alliance.

n0zx.jpg
x4wm.jpg

Austria’s a bit closer than Muscovy, but the complete destruction of my army is not helping my chances...

Finally, a strange event about Serfs fired, forcing us to either lose provincial base tax for my capitol’s to improve, or to hilariously keep “the serfs on their turf”. The decision was an easy one to make.

sv4v.jpg

SERFS on their TURF?! Where does Paradox find these guys? A-grade puns, that’s for sure.

Not only was the decision funny, it also allowed us to cheaply boost our stability. An important thing for us to do given our precarious economic position, though we would need a fair production of Admin points that our current Hochmeister simply cannot give.

i98b.jpg

Well, that was convenient.

Heinrich V is an excellent administrator and a competent strategist, though his diplomacy leaves much to be desired. Still, he’s the man we need for right now. With his insane admin production, we get to work taking loans and throwing up temples and armories, while increasing stab with our discounted rates. Life is good.

7kpa.jpg

Apparently, life can get even better.

Unsurprisingly, Heinrich leaps at the chance to ally with Austria as soon as he can. That treated cinched our entry into the Holy Roman Empire quite handily. With Austria now in our camp, we started making a claim on Pomerania. We need revenge for their opportunistic strike on the order. Also, we re-allied with Hungary as soon as we could. As much hate as I slung their way, they basically did save the Knights in our hour of need. More interestingly, the alliance between Livonia and Lithuania broke. Most interestingly, so did the PU between Poland and Lithuania.
Luckily for us in our eventual designs on Pomerania, they did the work for us. Somehow the Pomeranians got caught up in a war with the Hanseatic League. Our claim finished right after this happened. War was the only reasonable solution.

lq1p.png

Time to die, Pomerania!

Luckily for us, Pomerania brought their little lackey, Riga, into the mix. Salivating, the Teutonic armies, now comfortably rebuilt with Heinrich at the helm, marched west to do battle with token Pomeranian resistance. The fleet waited outside of Pomerania’s ports to ensure that no supplies would lengthen any siege. The result was nothing short of perfect.

1qjm.jpg

Even though the goal of the war was to vassalize Pomerania, Teutonic seamen insisted on doing their part to get revenge on the hated foe.

When the Pomeranian fleet broke out of port as their territories were occupied one at a time, our fleet gave chase, hoping to battle them on the high seas. At the same time as this major naval battle was taking place, a small infiltration force landed at Riga to commence the siege. The brave Teutons were pressed but ultimately they prevailed.

wxig.jpg

Yum! Boats and territory!

With their fleet destroyed, their ally annexed, and all hope lost, the Pomeranians begrudgingly joined the Teutonic Order as a vassal. Unfortunately, such an “aggressive” act still irked the Poles, who formed a coalition with us and were promptly joined by the insidious Brandenbergers.

j8zo.jpg

Remember when I almost lost all this? Yeah, I don’t either. Not painted blue on this map- our new Pomeranian spoils.

Heinrich’s great victories in the war, however, were met with skepticism by the leading generals of the realm, questioning whether he had actually earned them through his own skills or if he simply attacked the right place at the right time.

1x9a.jpg

You can’t please everyone.

Heinrich, angered by his generals, now craved one final conquest that his predecessor could not achieve. He would wait patiently to see such a plan unfold, but for now, he had stabilized the Order and had given it a new lease on life. Perhaps a greater Prussia is within our grasp after all...

Will Heinrich conquer further territories without stupid events firing to punish you for taking probably the best early game NI? Will Poland ever act against the Order? What of Lithuania’s designs? Will the Kalmar Union fragment? Find out next time on Teutonic Tribulations!
 

unmerged(58610)

Field Marshal
Jul 2, 2006
5.114
44
That war went much better. You took the opportunity to grab Riga with both hands. Being in the HRE gives any potential attacker the Emperor as an enemy. The Poland -Lithuania PU has broken up, very conveniently for you.
Pommerania is your vassal -a nice little earner. Depending on Livonia's allies, you can claim half of the country. Then, if it was the right half, vassalize it in the war after.
 

verdas

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Subbed; this looks like fun.

Good call on entering the HRE; as long as Austria doesn't collapse (which it usually doesn't on normal, but is certainly possible given it's wars with France and Burgundy) you should have some decent cover. And maybe consider selling Neumark to Brandenberg, if you're still planning to work east. Or keep it and go right at those jerks.

And as Chief Ragusa said, the break up of Poland and Lithuania is huge for you; they'll almost certainly be at each other's throats from here on out.

Edit: Although you may find your loyalty tested if Austria and Hungary get into it like they often do.