Plucking a Leg of Turkey
1594 - Ottoman / Bavarian Border
“Onward Gluttonic Knights! Ride! Ride to glory!” Augustus IV ordered, rallying the Bavarian troops against the straggling Turkish defenders of Banat.
“Honestly, Augustus, don’t you think men of our age should be far removed from the battlefield?” asked Connery, shifting uncomfortably in his padded saddle.
“Men of our rage?” asked Augustus, “Sorry, I don’t follow you. My hearing is beginning to go out. Getting old, you know.”
The knights overhearing this exchange didn’t understand it. Sure, they had heard of the famous Lord Augustus IV and Sir Connery (whom some knew as “loyal sidekick” and others as “that Irish guy”) since the days of their childhood, but, if anything, the two appeared quite ageless - men in their prime leading them into battle. Sarcasm was lost on many of the knights.
Pest fell to the knights’ siege by mid 1594, and the knights rode on to Banat. Bavarian reinforcements arrived in Odenburg to ward off the constant, if ineffective, Turkish attacks from Krain. The Ottomans offered 152 ducats for peace, but the decision had been made by King Wilhelm, Augustus, and their advisors to liberate as many Christian lands from the Turks as possible, and to cripple the ability of the Sultan to make further war against Bavaria.
Banat fell to the Gluttonic Knights and they pushed onward into Serbia, driving out the majority of its defenders and entrenching themselves to starve out yet another beleaguered Muslim garrison.
The remainder of the Western Army of the Ottomans, reassembled in Krain, advanced on Odenburg for a last gasp effort to turn the tide of the war, which was, just in case you hadn’t noticed, favoring the Bavarians. Just as a lone child stands knee deep in the ocean trying to hold back the advancing waters from demolishing his afternoon’s toil, a beloved castle made of sand, so did the Ottomans’ efforts come to naught, and their assault was swept back leaving nothing but metaphoric seaweed and medical waste in its wake. Perhaps a clumsy metaphor, but remember, Bavarian literature had, for centuries, been forced to rely on second-hand descriptions and borrowed accounts for describing the ocean. See Professor Heindel’s authoritative reference “What the Hell is that Big Blue Thing?” for more details.
With the Western Army of the Ottomans decimated (or more accurately “pentimated”) and retreating the defenders of Odenburg rode forth like a great host of riders, since that’s what they were, and overran the Turks in Krain, scattering them to the hills.
Desperate Turkish counter-attacks were launched against the Bavarians in Serbia and Transylvania, but they were repelled by the superior military skill of the Gluttonic Knights. The attack against Serbia did inflict heavy casualties, however, and the decision was made to abandon the siege of the territory and send the Bavarian regiment deep into Ottoman territory, pillaging their way to the capital. And pillage they did - though civilians were allowed to flee east with their lives, their belongings, particularly the contents of their pantries and fields, were appropriated by the invading Bavarians until, ultimately, the knights reached Thrace, and outside of the city’s fortifications laid waste to the countryside.
A new peace offer was communicated from the Sultan, 182d in reparations to end the war and return to existing borders. This was flatly refused.
The Catholic bishops of Bavaria, in addition to the Protestant clerical leaders, demanded harsh treatment of captured Muslims, and demanded a commitment to aggressive missionary work among any Muslims incorporated into Bavaria as a result of the war. Yes, it was a narrow-minded policy, but Enigmus advised the king, in the presence of the assembled clergy that this was a wise concession. In private, Lady Emma confided that that the clergy had the young king’s crown jewels in their grip, figuratively, because religious instability at home would greatly hinder the war.
1595 began with the news the England had won another series of wars against the native Americans, and had claimed large swaths of territory deep into the continent, which was proving to be much more vast that originally thought.
The regiment of Gluttonic Knights pillaging Thrace beat back an army of equal size sent by the Turks to liberate their capital. They expected to be joined by the Bavarian troops from Transylvania, who marched toward the capital after capturing that land from the Ottomans. Something went horribly wrong, however, as the regiment from Transylvania was intercepted and apparently defeated by the retreating Ottomans from Thrace. This cannot be confirmed, however, as there were zero Bavarian survivors. The Bavarian army was reported, with numerous survivors, retreating back to Transylvania, but they never arrived. Locals credited the Lost King of Siebenburgen, rising up to drive all invaders from his land, but the Bavarians dismissed this as superstition.
The people of the western Ottoman provinces sensed that the reign of their Turkism masters was ending soon, and many revolts broke out in lands captured by the Bavarians. Rebels surfaced in Transylvania, hoping their deeds would prove worthy of the Lost King. Rebels in Krain threatened the Bavarian siege of the territory. King Wilhelm V offered the Sultan a way out, peace in exchange for Banat and Pest, but was refused. Thus, the war continued.
Krain soon fell and the Bavarian armies proceeded to Rumelia, continuing their territory-by-territory conquest of the Ottomans. Knowing that they were powerless to take back their lost lands, and fearful of the fall of Thrace, the Turks offered the Bavarians Pest and Krain, along with the Baltic Sea land of Dobrudja and the African colony of Guinea for peace. As 1595 ended, King Wilhelm agreed to the peace, and added the Christian lands of Pest and Krain to Greater Bavaria. Dobrudja had a large Orthodox and Muslim population, and it had not been a target of the Bavarian King or his advisors. Lord Augustus, in particular, had some suspicion about the province and, for unexplainable reasons, seemed to have dim memories of endless revolts in the province against Bavaria. But that was silly since Bavaria had never controlled Dobrudja, at least not in this reality.