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Hmm, the end looms near!

Indeed, only 50+ years to go ... will Bugra be the success of the Rurikovich breeding programme, will Harry finally get it right ... so much to resolve, so little time

Boo! Not fair quoting in foreign tongues were a copy-paste Google search doesn't give me an exact translation! :p

I must say, that is not the strongest defense Harry has ever mounted: "I bothered the bishop a bit". Although getting the chaste Bugra to seduce a bunch of his vassals' daughters is somewhat of an achievement.

Having pagan Norse gods high-fiving is certainly an... interesting... image in the mind's eye. ;)

According to Dante, you meet Minos at the second circle in Hell (the first is full of pagans who died before Christ), he listens to your attempt at justification and then winds his tail 2-9 times, that indicates the relevant circle for your sins. So I reckon if he can do that, he can pick his teeth with his tail as well? I'm amazed that google fails to provides translations from medieval tuscan ...

overall, this isn't Harry's best period, and well Odin and Freyja are trying to be 'relevant' and thus hip and cool ... they see a way back to being major players in the celestial game

Glory be for Wikipedia! I didn't have a clue what you two were talking about, but now... I can certainly see some parallels. Though I'm not sure your Harry is as competent as his. ;)

Here's a good summary - http://www.bbc.co.uk/comedy/oldharrysgame/

In effect the other Harry is probably more successful than this one, but then mine has rather able subordinates, and Scumspawn is not actually that able (though he is very loyal) and doesn't really grasp the essence of being a demon as a regular sub-plot is his attempts to find something good in a particularly loathsome speciman of humanity ...
 
Bugra, 1392-1396, war, plague & as a special bonus: injured generals!

Scene 1: The Clerks Room, they've invited in Ukko as he was looking so bored

So lads, whats coming up in the next session

various papers are picked up, examined and tutted over

well it seems as if Bugra had worked out that though he was King of Finland, he didn't actually own any of it ....

makes a change from all his excuses about the map being the wrong colour, he's now on some sort of legalistic thing ... oh and Mstislav's old excuse of saving the Finns from the Norwegians,



ah, that takes me back

oh here's another – a rebellion



in my days we had those every week

oh .... heh lads look at this, you know in my day this happened all the time



The two clerks look a bit worried ... Ukko may be on the verge of reminiscing about the events of his glorious reign


yes, could never understand these modern commanders, too much training not enough spontaneity if you ask me

Scene 2: Gabi's Bar

Harry is explaining his latest success

".... and it just dropped off when he tried ..."



He waits for the appreciative laughter ... and becomes annoyed

"well you do better"

"its not that Harry, its just that Astarte was very plain ... you need to make sure Bugra and Edla have no male heir"

"this one .... "

"well I wouldn't annoy her"

Scene 3: Heaven, Michael is trying to reach an opinion on Bugra but is distracted by further evidence that Harry and Astarte are not exactly co-operating


why else would one of them send a plague to Bugra's home town



and the other convince someone they are now hearing angels



when he stumbles on this rather worrying piece of information



he asks the celestial records office and there is indeed no authorised monastry in Tver, but there is evidence that Astarte runs one of her castles there ...



Scene 3: Somewhere on the edge of Bifrost

Odin and Freyja plot, a snake rustles nearby

So, lets be clear, no matter what Edla does (& he really doesn't seem to be interested in sex), as long as he lives another 6 years, Peksen gets married and has a male child, we're back in the game?



Yes

No way to make sure that Peksen inherits

No, our lawyers have checked

the snake wanders off, only to become distracted by some apples



so are we back to normal, generals who can't avoid self-harm, rebellious vassals and creative excuses to invade Finland? Or?
 
".... and it just dropped off when he tried ..."
The dropping off part is horrible enough, but dropping off while in flagrante delicto... Yerg!

Definitely about the most drastic way possible to achieve celibacy. :)

Gotta love the Astarte/Harry tag team method. It might not guarantee success, but it certainly guarantees an enormous amount of collateral damage.

Is that snake the demon Crowley? <Recently read Good Omens for the first time>
 
Do Odin & Freyja even need a male heir? Couldn't they just start a 14th Century feminist movement and put Peksen in charge? After all, Astarte has been outplaying the boys in Hell for a while.

The dropping off part is horrible enough, but dropping off while in flagrante delicto... Yerg!
Isn't this just a variation on the traditional wifely threat of chopping it off if it is used improperly? A sort of instant justice.
 
Stupendous stuff. Odin and Freyja attempting to muscle in on Harry's turf. Harry joining in union with Astarte, which is rather worrying in a huge number of ways. Rurikovich military traditions finally being adhered to once more, horrendous incompetence returning to the fore. Excellent updates. I very intrigued to see if Harry, with the very able aid of Astarte, can actually triumph for once and best the insidious Odin and Freyja. Poor Peksen being placed in Astarte's 'monastery' seems promising for the two.

Bugra himself seems a pretty genial and competent chap, bar some warmongering on the ground of aesthetics of course, quite at odds the usual Rurikovich ruler's charming uselessness.

Very good developments all round. News of a possible continuance into M&B makes me all the happier. Oh and this line...

".... and it just dropped off when he tried ..."​

Superb!
 
Males are overrated. :p

indeed, & it seems that male demons are particularly inept

The dropping off part is horrible enough, but dropping off while in flagrante delicto... Yerg!
Definitely about the most drastic way possible to achieve celibacy. :)
Isn't this just a variation on the traditional wifely threat of chopping it off if it is used improperly? A sort of instant justice.
Oh and this line...
Superb!

I don't suppose there is any way I can convince any of you that actually Harry was telling a variant of the tale where the boy sticks his finger in the dam to stop the water pouring through? No? ah well.

Gotta love the Astarte/Harry tag team method. It might not guarantee success, but it certainly guarantees an enormous amount of collateral damage.

Is that snake the demon Crowley? <Recently read Good Omens for the first time>

yes its random and pretty ill-thought out, but pretty effective. I sort of meant the snake to be Harry ... as you'll see in the next post he is having memory problems at the moment ;)

Do Odin & Freyja even need a male heir? Couldn't they just start a 14th Century feminist movement and put Peksen in charge? After all, Astarte has been outplaying the boys in Hell for a while.

I checked and there is no inheritence law in CK that allows a female to inherit or I would have selected it (& set off a monumental civil war), so the best is that Peksen can construct an inheritence line .. but as with the reply to Enewald, the male characters do seem to be rather useless at the moment.

Stupendous stuff. Odin and Freyja attempting to muscle in on Harry's turf. Harry joining in union with Astarte, which is rather worrying in a huge number of ways. Rurikovich military traditions finally being adhered to once more, horrendous incompetence returning to the fore. Excellent updates. I very intrigued to see if Harry, with the very able aid of Astarte, can actually triumph for once and best the insidious Odin and Freyja. Poor Peksen being placed in Astarte's 'monastery' seems promising for the two.

Bugra himself seems a pretty genial and competent chap, bar some warmongering on the ground of aesthetics of course, quite at odds the usual Rurikovich ruler's charming uselessness.

Very good developments all round. News of a possible continuance into M&B makes me all the happier.

It was soo nice to get the military incompetence messages, I've had about 80 years of good news from the battlefront and it seems so .. incorrect.

I still need to think about M&B, am teaching myself the basics, at least I can now get on a horse and stop it (my earlier stopping technique was to ride it directly into a tree to stop), but it seems the natural home for this bunch ...
 
Bugra, 1396-1400, the p(l)ots boil nicely

Scene 1: A particularly sleazy inn in Trebizond

Harry is in disguise

"look its all about cause and effect. These idiots will believe anything



and in any case everyone knows that sex is a cure for the small pox"



He wanders off, thinking to himself, that should produce some more souls for later ... now what was it that Astarte said

....

male heir good or bad? Good or bad? Bad idea or good idea? I think she said it would be a bad idea ... handy I arranged for this then"



Scene 2: An old castle near Helvetesnutane in South Norway

Odin and Freyja too are plotting, but at least they can remember what they want

so you're sure

yes

there is one problem, well she seems rather .... rather religious?



So what, its not her we need, she just has to produce a male heir before Bugra dies

so what are you waiting for ... get over there quickly



Scene 3: Gabi's Bar

Astarte bursts in

... & looks around ... it is clear she is rather annoyed

"where is Harry?"

a demon sensibly concentrates on using one of the damned to clean the floor

"where ...... is he?"

....

"ok, when he is next seen, remind him that he was meant to sort out the sucession, not arrange for us all to be cast into oblivion ...."



will Bugra live long enough, will Peksen be interested, will Harry remember just what it is he is meant to want?
 
...at least I can now get on a horse and stop it (my earlier stopping technique was to ride it directly into a tree to stop), but it seems the natural home for this bunch ...

And that sounds like the Rurikovich way of getting your horse to stop. :D

Well, Harry's up (down?) to his usual level of competence... But wait! Bugra has a brother! That must mean he's a Rurikovich! Only a few murders and the succession is secure, Hell made safe for democracy... er, Harry and Astarte, at least.

Or, slightly less drastic, change your laws to elective and load up the titles on Bugra's lil' bro... He is a vassal, right?
 
I still need to think about M&B, am teaching myself the basics, at least I can now get on a horse and stop it (my earlier stopping technique was to ride it directly into a tree to stop), but it seems the natural home for this bunch ...

I really think the spawn of Harry and Astarte marauding through Calradia will make a wonderful tale, from my own time playing the game, M&B seems the perfect place to develop a character. Clearly too Harry's competence is already making itself felt in the game with regards to your riding ability, you are destined to continue onto there!

With regards to Bugra's younger brother, is he a brother-in-law, hence the lack of blood ties? As he does seem to be married to a Ruvikovich. If so, which is his dynasty? If not, has there been some marriage within the family by this Rurikovich (the offspring produced by two Rurikovich parents is a frightening thought)? Is Sviastoslav receptive to the idea of being bribed (may as well put Bugra's horde of cash to some use) to accept the Ruvikovich name? Or can Bugra perhaps produce a bastard heir who can quickly be given rights to succession? Or is it this a moot point as Peksen shall give birth to a son and Odin and Freyja will take over regardless? Is this the potential end for both Harry and Astarte and the Rurikovich family in this game?! Uhm...I'll stop asking questions now... Although I'm desperate to find out the answers!
 
Or shall you lose the game?

indeed, get to 1400, own almost all Russia, large parts of Central Asia and ... lose - good thing about CK is it hides inept game play

And that sounds like the Rurikovich way of getting your horse to stop. :D

Well, Harry's up (down?) to his usual level of competence... But wait! Bugra has a brother! That must mean he's a Rurikovich! Only a few murders and the succession is secure, Hell made safe for democracy... er, Harry and Astarte, at least.

Or, slightly less drastic, change your laws to elective and load up the titles on Bugra's lil' bro... He is a vassal, right?
I really think the spawn of Harry and Astarte marauding through Calradia will make a wonderful tale, from my own time playing the game, M&B seems the perfect place to develop a character. Clearly too Harry's competence is already making itself felt in the game with regards to your riding ability, you are destined to continue onto there!

With regards to Bugra's younger brother, is he a brother-in-law, hence the lack of blood ties? As he does seem to be married to a Ruvikovich. If so, which is his dynasty? If not, has there been some marriage within the family by this Rurikovich (the offspring produced by two Rurikovich parents is a frightening thought)? Is Sviastoslav receptive to the idea of being bribed (may as well put Bugra's horde of cash to some use) to accept the Ruvikovich name? Or can Bugra perhaps produce a bastard heir who can quickly be given rights to succession? Or is it this a moot point as Peksen shall give birth to a son and Odin and Freyja will take over regardless? Is this the potential end for both Harry and Astarte and the Rurikovich family in this game?! Uhm...I'll stop asking questions now... Although I'm desperate to find out the answers!

yes I was pressing the W button to move (as you do on foot) and of course the damn thing either stayed at the same speed or got faster (I have to confess that in RL horses scare the sh*t out of me), finally worked out that S didn't mean reverse (horses apparently have no real reverse gear ... presume a bit like cats?) but slow down, so less riding straight at some solid object as the only way to stop. So I'll try a few of the battle scenarios then run a few tests ... & should be good to go (if rather ineptly)

I'm not going to do anything to force this for the moment. If Bugra dies without a male heir I will do a fiddle to keep going as Sviatoslav is indeed his real nephew (oddly Bugra has a large collection of brothers and sisters which is why the relative infertility is a bit hard to explain). So tension mounts as Harry and Astarte plot to murder Edla, Peksen gets married & all are interfering with exactly who produces a child first (or at all). But you are right & that explains it, Sviatoslav is in fact Bugra's sister's brood, the previous non-directly related heir was his brothers - so that offers another way to keep this on the road to 1453.

I've got a very odd project on at the moment -at one level its hugely timeconsuming but at another its something I can only do blocks of and then need a break (I'm coding up a lot of interview transcripts in preparation to writing a report - do 3/4 and you need a break), so another update later today.

Can I thank everyone who voted (for anything, but especially this) in the ACA awards, so this is now officially the comedy CK thread ... must work out how to properly celebrate being the heir to Suenik and Ethiopia.
 
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Bugra 1400-1404, we can ignore the wars for now

Gabi's Bar

Harry is plotting in a back room

"so if we kill Edla, he can remarry, someone not Nordic, and its all ok again

and we'll be subtle this time



ok, try to be more subtle the next time:



Now while you handle that, I've some more ideas to improve life in Trebizond:




Odin and Freyja's castle

Odin is looking proud

thats my girl, such nice manners as well



Freyja comes in a bit flustered

well thats now properly arranged, he has all the right characteristics, all we now need do is wait for a male son and we're back in the game




Astarte's tower


... even at his daughters wedding? Don't tell me this was Harry being 'subtle' ... and failing?



Well someone needs to sort this out properly, I for one am not losing all this influence over the Rurikovichs. I'll sort out the sucession problems .... my way:








Bugra's trial

Michael is leading the interogation, Harry seems strangely subdued[1]

... all those deaths, yes it was quite unpleasant for a while

did you order them?

Me, no of course not

Michael expresses disbelief

I can't have been that bad, I mean look at all these bishops joining the realm



Michael taps on the character portrait of Bugra in the file,



We do have evidence you know

Bugra looks disappointed

thats taking a very narrow view of things ... anyway can we discuss all the wars and rebellions I had to face at that time?

Michael looks bored

Not really, I mean absolutely no one was taking any notice, they all seem to have had other concerns.

[1] - Harry is subdued as he is trying to think. Even worse he is trying to work this out:



Which leaves our various celestial plotters with very different aims as to what to do next:



So who will inherit? and what will be the consequences? Will Michael succeed in re-establishing the celestial order?
 
Why not marry Peksen to some Rurikovich?

Good thought, but apparently too late. :)

Still, Astarte manages an impressive killing spree in just a few months, if she can keep that up, Peksen's bound to die sooner or later. I guess that several dozen attempts on Loukas' life are also in order. After all, what has Rus to lose? You have more money than you know what to do with, and piety... Pah, nothing bad can come from low piety, right? :)
 
... even at his daughters wedding?

A good assiasination attempt mid-wedding helps to break up the speaches. Could it actually be Theodorotos' 'mother-in-law joke' gone wrong?
 
I was rather enjoying Harry's brand of subtelty, especially at the wedding! Astarte proving her competence as usual though, actually getting things done. Poor Peksen must be rather worried now to say the least.
 
Why not marry Peksen to some Rurikovich?
Good thought, but apparently too late. :)

Still, Astarte manages an impressive killing spree in just a few months, if she can keep that up, Peksen's bound to die sooner or later. I guess that several dozen attempts on Loukas' life are also in order. After all, what has Rus to lose? You have more money than you know what to do with, and piety... Pah, nothing bad can come from low piety, right? :)

I'll keep that in mind in case a bored killer finishes off her current husband, but for the moment will stick (literally) to Astarte's game plan .... after all how many grandchildren do you have to have murdered before you end up in Hell?

A good assiasination attempt mid-wedding helps to break up the speaches. Could it actually be Theodorotos' 'mother-in-law joke' gone wrong?
I was rather enjoying Harry's brand of subtelty, especially at the wedding! Astarte proving her competence as usual though, actually getting things done. Poor Peksen must be rather worried now to say the least.
I love the wedding party carnage - it made for a welcome return to this AAR :)

You'll all be pleased that the next update has an even more spectacular wedding sequence then ... initiated by Bugra murdering his wife and concluded by him murdering his grandchild ...
 
Bugra 1404-1408, not exactly a happy family life

Scene 1: Bugra's trial

Bugra is doing his best to justify some fairly hard to justify events

"well that is, if I may say, taking a very narrow view of events. I mean you are ignoring the Royal Cheese Factory I had built, and the University ..."



Raphael sighs and turns over his papers

"can we go back to your colour problem"

"Muscovy?"

"yes Muscovy"

"well its simple really ... I was prepared to let him be independent but he just had to chose purple as the colour for his realm didn't he? I mean he was disrespecting me was he not?"



"so you invaded and took his realm off him"

"if you put it like that ... well basically yes – but look how well I did in the war"



The clerks draw Raphael's attention to the file, he just shakes his head wearily



"well I'm sure you know this does not look good on your record sheet. Now lets concentrate on the all the assasinations shall we"

"oh you mean the evil attempt to kill me at my wedding"



Harry perks up and chuckles fondly to himself, foiling Odin's and Freyja's plot had almost been as much fun as his most recent act of bambi-killing



"well that is one way to put it. A way I must say that ignores you only needed to be at the wedding as you'd just killed your wife"



"you are just being picky, no doubt you'll be going on about the strangely high death rate among my grandchildren"







Scene 2: Outside the Court, Raphael is arguing with Harry

"look I know you're meant to tempt them and so on ... but with someone so addicted to murdering his family as Bugra he doesn't take a lot of suggesting"

Harry (tries to) look innocent

"are you telling me all these people are dead because of your feud with Astarte?"

"no, its related to the feud we're having with Odin and Freyja ... you really ought to get out more you know ... I mean stuck up there you get so out of touch"

Scene 3: The gates of Hell

Harry is explaining to Astarte that Raphael seems to be rather suspicious. Astarte is not that concened.

A nameless demon creeps out and tentatively tries to attract their attention

"well its good and bad news ..."





will Yeldem last longer than the rest of Bugra's grandchildren? will they need to dig a new level in Hell to cope with Bugra? Has Kettu finally become only the second most murderous Rurikovich?