Davyd, 1325-1332, he finally bestirs himself and ends up dead
Scene 1: Harry's asylum and immigration tribunal. Harry's case is being heard by St Peter and St Catherine (the only saint he could round up at such notice despite her volatile reputation).
Look do I get seen by angels?
Oh no, you see this is now just a routine administrative process.
So?
Well we decide and then you can appeal if you want. But till then no entry to heaven even on a limited basis. We have a hell of a job tracking down and deporting those who overstay.
Ok, well I've been evicted from Hell, I'm a refugee, I claim political asylum.
Yes, yes all very good, but before we let you in we need to be sure you are no longer doing evil. So lets have a look at some events from Davyd's reign shall we.
You're still acting as his bishop?
Yes
and was this anythng to do with you?
Harry looks at the document
plague, no thats more Astarte's line than mine ... you know its horrible when you possess someone and they catch the plague ... ugh
anyway, (
Harry picks out another document), look at my effect on their morals, you lot like this sort of thing?
all very well, but was this anything to do with you?
Harry looks at the file and fondly chuckles ... before he remembers he's meant to deny all involvement
and this?
No that was Astarte, she felt that Rannveig was just not coming up to expectations, there was some Byzantine princess she'd been grooming for a while who she believed was sooo much more appropriate
anyway it was so boring that even bedridden former marshalls were desparate to get away, I mean if this was the extent of my evil influence then Astarte may have had a point all along?
I mean Davyd really was boring ...
Catherine sparks up ...
well that shows how unsuitable you are ... he seems a lovely man, well suited to life in heaven and I look forward to welcoming him, later ...
and about then, he finally produced a son ...
St Peter intervenes
yes but then there is the mysterious injury to his marshall, I mean he had 7000 men, he was fighting 319 peasants and this happened
Harry looks a bit bemused
So?
Well was it you?
No, I mean you've studied the history of the Rurikovichs? Well, lets keep this simple, he's a marshall, he works for a Rurikovich, just what do you expect if he strays onto a battlefield?
Catherine starts to get agitated
Harry turns to Peter
Look if she starts spinning around, I'll use it as evidence in my appeal
anyway, look I rest my case:
Satan, what about this?
I keep on telling you, female things, go talk to Astarte. Anyway as you can imagine he did nothing.
This?
(Harry shuffles his hooves)
Yes well I was bored, I tried, you can guess his answer.
Nope ... Astarte, she was getting desperate to try and provoke something
which sort of worked ... he stormed into the Council and announced he'd declared war on someone ... ok someone small and unimportant but it was a start
well it seemed to get others interested ... I think most of the Rus princes were bored with 15 years of near total peace
he was so keen now he actually raised the Novgorod regiments and went off to lead the war himself
Harry shakes his head sadly
then in the next battle, he really was so careless
Scene 2
Raphael is speaking to Peter and Catherine
Look I don't care, he's not getting in ... but I may just have another solution, its something we're keen to test out somewhere in any case
Scene 3: Dis
Astarte is musing on recent events. Clearly doing evil is not so straightforward and the Crovan introduction has proved to be a major disappointment. Still where there is life there can always be temptation ....
Just what does Sofia manage to do? Can the next Rurikovich (who is only 4) be this boring again? If Harry's refugee claim is overturned where can store any souls he collects? Is Harry actually still allowed to attend the court?