Scene 1: Throne Room in Hell
Harry is changing into his best trial robes.
I tell you Astarte, I did my best to kill him so we could get started early on the reconquest of heaven, do you have any idea how many people in his army were called Ratmir?
Still it wasn’t all a waste of time:
still got that part of my mojo working. .... Oh by the way, Astarte, have you seen the pigs recently?
No, not that recently
Shame … they must have drowned in the barbecue pit, problem with trainee demons, they just can’t manage a really good possession, you know they get carried away and forget that other things can't always fly.
Now this is what I call a proper possession
See what marrying Germans does to you
Err, Harry, don’t you think you maybe overdid it a bit?
No, but anyway the plague was a bit painful so I just left him to get on with that bit on his own
Meanwhile Ratmir had problems with other sons too, and that was nothing to do with me, first Vladimir kept up the family tradition of harmonious marriages to Greeks from Asia Minor:
More and more the proper Rurikovich every day
Which was handy as his other two sons went and died
The only real problem was when Ratmir had a bit of a religious phase, had to lie low for a while:
But the war in Prussia was fun, never realised they were so wealthy
and then he got into another Mongol war:
And then when that was over, he decided on a land grab in Armenia:
odd little place just in the corner of the map seemed to really catch his attention
Ok, well I’ll be back with him soon
So was that Harry's finest possession? Will he bring back Ratmir, especially now he seems to have lost the bacon? Just what will Vladimir be like if he comes to the throne?