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Boris 1100-1105, the bid for sympathy?

[voices approach … “mine…no mine…he’s a perfect fit…mine, and why are you dragging all those flies around … will you two stop fighting, we need to make a proper report, then --- he will be properly allocated]

Oh there you are … ah there are all of you … the smelly scaly one, the mad woman … no valkyries … look I demand to speak to someone in authority this is becoming ridiculous and I refuse to be treated this way

[well sir there are rules and procedures … look if it would help, tell us about your pagan thing]

Well as you know, my bishop, Sila, became a heretic, so after a while I replaced him with Itlar, who I had to throw in jail and then exile as even in jail he was carrying on with my wife





[that is not awfully clear ... could you explain why]

Well he disaproved of something or the other,

[I'm not losing another Rurikovich on the idiocy/confusion defense ... Harry please calm down, you know what happens if you get agitated ... anyway -you started favouring the pagans?]

perhaps, but look it wasn’t the first time either



And I was feeling very very lonely, it wasn’t just the incessant revolts and rebellions, all my court either ended up leaving or going to jail





And when I let him out he promptly defected



And my marshall hopped it too (and in this case that is not a metaphor):




Even my 12 year son, Vladimir, who I’d made Count of Moskva and Prince of Estonia (ok I’d lost all Estonia but it’s the title that matters) was becoming disloyal



And even when I heroically won battles, Itlar gave me no credit



[well it does seem as if no one really liked you]

Well yes, exactly, and the pagans kept on being nice to me, offering not to revolt if I let them do their thing, and with my piety score I felt I had nothing to lose.

[not really much of an excuse though]

Well there were also all the wounds and things:





And then whilst I was a bit groggy from the head wound it seemed a good idea to change the inheritance laws:



And that set off a new round of civil wars – to be helpful here’s another table:



[aahh, being helpful - thats nice ... behave Harry and stop drooling]

And that really was that



[so, was that your attempt at the sympathy vote? We notice you’ve skipped over things like this]



No no no, look at all those wars, victories, wounds, I was a hero and deserve to be treated as such, and in wars, well things happen

[except there was no war in Pskov at that stage]

look its clear on the table ... oh

[Harry what do you think … obviously mine – look at the numbers, 666 and all that … I mean I agree with Hel that he belongs somewhere cold … and I’ve got a new ice machine installed in the Tenth Circle … anyway she’s a bit of a has-been … all this Nordic stuff … its sooo not the future … listen scaly I was collecting the damned long before you … so your place is full then … please please stop the arguing]

Yes stop, I demand my proper place
[are you sure?]

Yes

[oh, ok then]

Where did Boris go to? Will Vladimir prove any better?
 
Heavy on the excuses, spreadsheets and things didn't go to well.

Sounds like management material to me :rofl:
 
1103moredisloyalty.png

score
 
And my marshall hopped it too (and in this case that is not a metaphor)​

Brilliant line. Boris should be feeling ashamed of himself however, Marshals actually survived under his rule!
 
That sequence of injuries is almost beyond belief - it's like slapstick routine! Not to mention all the rats leaving the sinking ship... It sure is a desperate situation and neither the Mongols nor the plague have even arrived yet!
 
I'm guessing Valhalla is not beckoning...

I believe there is ongoing litigation as to who actually has him, but its cold and icy in any case

Heavy on the excuses, spreadsheets and things didn't go to well.

Sounds like management material to me :rofl:

aye, he's a bit like every management consultant you've ever have visit - lots of good ideas and no idea why they all fail to work ;)


Brilliant line. Boris should be feeling ashamed of himself however, Marshals actually survived under his rule!

yes. probably the one thing he did better than his affable if idiotic father

That sequence of injuries is almost beyond belief - it's like slapstick routine! Not to mention all the rats leaving the sinking ship... It sure is a desperate situation and neither the Mongols nor the plague have even arrived yet!

Its one of those wierd sequences that CK produces, I'm not sure if its random (and of course you spot it better when writing it up) or planned. But in the current sequence I've had one who first had his leg injured and then got knocked on the head - so I imagine he was a bit slow in the second battle.

Well I have a wee problem, as I feared, this style only really works when my Kings die with some sort of frequency. Vladimir despite illness, wounds, worms and single handed combat against Mongols is hanging in there.
 
Hey Loki. I don't play CK myself but I've followed you over to this from your excellent HOI3 AAR. I'm really enjoying this and I'm sure despite Vladmirs lack of mortality you'll find a way to make him entertaining. Given how this game seems to work a long life just seems to provide more opportunities for bad things to happen.
 
Hey Loki. I don't play CK myself but I've followed you over to this from your excellent HOI3 AAR. I'm really enjoying this and I'm sure despite Vladmirs lack of mortality you'll find a way to make him entertaining. Given how this game seems to work a long life just seems to provide more opportunities for bad things to happen.

Glad you're enjoying it ... yes what is so fascinating about this game is the real enemy isn't the opposition AI, thats almost irrelevant ... its your own deranged family and all the rather fun options it offers to you


been thinking about that... I'll play some more and see what happens ... without doing too much of a plot spoiler as he lives longer the inheritence question is getting more and more interesting in itself
 
A short interlude

[Phoowee, I’m bored … even worse the next one is going to cause sooooo much work when he finally arrives ... I mean just look at the size of the file … you can just imagine them all wanting to go over that to see if he fits their specifications

Do you reckon that Harry fancies another Rurikovich?

Could be … understand that him and Hel are locked in custody battle over Boris …. Of course the first problem is they can’t agree which court they will use

And Harry is still in dispute with Gabi about Mstislav … seems that Harry is claiming that idiocy is not that good a defence

Harry’s doing a lot of litigation then – well he does have a lot of lawyers to hand so I think he can manage it

But look at this one … pity in a way, he does seem to have kept up some family habits … but just look at his siblings – both his brother and sister were murderers




Phew … You washed today?

Oh hi Harry … you two got anything for me yet … no this one is doing ok … not much in it for you

Has he worked out who is the serial killer yet? Doesn’t seem to …. Even despite all this evidence …



?



Well there is no way this one gets off on the idiocy/incompetence defence so give us a call when he arrives … you never know …

but whow ... now she does show promise]​
 
Harry’s doing a lot of litigation then – well he does have a lot of lawyers to hand so I think he can manage it​

As a lawyer myself, I look forward to working with him in the future! Nice teaser, I look forward to reading more about Vladimir.
 
Hmm, a serial kinslayer. And a mention of a mystery post-mortem claimant. I can't wait for him to drop dead so we can get the whole story!

Oh, and, for the record, we of the new branch est. 986 have no interest in such a bloodthirsty barbarian. :D
 
So, it looks like Predslava gets a taste for blood after her first time... She's been quite busy between the ages of 24 and 45. With that ongoing Rurikovich bloodbath, I'm surprised that Boris manages to hang in there for as long as he does.
 
As a lawyer myself, I look forward to working with him in the future! Nice teaser, I look forward to reading more about Vladimir.

Hmm, a serial kinslayer. And a mention of a mystery post-mortem claimant. I can't wait for him to drop dead so we can get the whole story!

Oh, and, for the record, we of the new branch est. 986 have no interest in such a bloodthirsty barbarian. :D

must work your place names into this somehow - sounds rather appropriate ;)

So, it looks like Predslava gets a taste for blood after her first time... She's been quite busy between the ages of 24 and 45. With that ongoing Rurikovich bloodbath, I'm surprised that Boris manages to hang in there for as long as he does.

ah don't jump to conclusions too early, all will become clear now he's finally died (naturally as well)

so off we go again :D
 
Vladimir 1105-1107: Making an impression

[come on you two work to do … oh hi Gabi what’s up … oh right, this should be a bit of a challenge … you going to introduce us Gabi? … oh ok

Vladimir … over here … we need to talk to you]

Oh hallo, sorry to disturb you ... Who are you?

[oh just humble functionaries in the machinery of eternity … we’ve got to work out where you belong you see]

You mean you do this for everyone

[well we don’t handle everyone … our specialism is ex-rulers of your part of the world]

And

[well we advise people like Gabi … and Harry who’ll probably pop in later on … and, er, others … as to where you belong for eternity]

Do you mean you had to judge my father … and grandfather … what happened to them?

[oh we can’t tell you that at the moment]

So what do you want to know?

[well we’ve got this massive file and really we need you to help us to understand it … apart from the odd war and bit of murder here and there … you seem to have been … not exactly typical of your family]

From the beginning?

[well from when you inherited]

Ok, well as you probably know I inherited a mess from my father … wars … economy in ruins and pagans running around … why is that woman with the bad hair laughing in the background?



[oh that’s Hel, she had a strong claim on your father and I think she’s looking for supplementary evidence for her joint custody case]



So my initial goal was to end as much of the wars as possible and to end all the various peasant revolts. Not surprisingly my spymistress was stressed:



And in doing so I give up on some of the less tenable claims – basically those collected by Great-Uncle Dmitri in his saner days.




And at the end of all this, by about 1107 I had stabilised the realm, admittedly a lot smaller than Grandfather had left it:



Managed a marriage:



And checked out on some distant relatives:



And this included healing the feud with my other great-uncle, Svyatopolk, who was ultra-loyal to me, and made an ideal Marshall



Of course the family luck with army commanders continued:




As did the need to deal with small scale Mongol incursions.



[voices wander off – “intelligent, polite, such a nice person … what do you think Gabi? … well lets see how it develops before deciding heh"]

Why are the assessors being so nice? Was Vladimir really that good? Will his testimony further implicate Boris?
 
Vladimir 1107-1115: Being (mostly) rather good

[Vladimir would you like to explain what happened next … can we introduce you to Gabi … seems as if he might see you as some sort of role model]

Hallo Gabi, well, for the most part, I was taken up by trying to rebuild the kingdom, but in early 1109, Dularkuk died:



So I married Anna of Sinope, helped to build links with Greek Orthodoxy and of course she was an excellent steward



In an attempt to ensure my new Counts and bishops remained loyal I reduced their tax burden – I needed loyalty more than I needed cash.

My first daughter was born:



Unlike my grand father, I felt no urge to hire every passing mercenary and then start a war just to keep them busy:



So by 1111, most of the revolts were put down and the provincial discontent was lessening. But amongst all this good news, Moskva remained a real problem



At this time what mattered most was ensuring the loyalty of my vassals



I also carried on cracking down on paganism, they even wanted to celebrate the birth of my new daughter



[“hah”… Hel behave you know you’ve now got full visiting rights to Boris … I want him all the time … then Harry can come and ask me when HE wants to visit]

And the level of brigandage slowly declined:



[Look lads I’m off, things to do … ok bye Gabi, oh hi Harry … think Hel was looking for you … didn’t think you wanted this one … well we are getting to the adultery and murder so I thought I’d pop in … Vladimir would you like to explain about Irina?]

Well I was worried about the inheritance, two daughters, I was almost constantly leading small campaigns and I rather needed some sons – so it seemed a way to maximise the chances. Anna of course really did not like it:



But at least a legitimate son soon turned up



And then to reward my great uncle, and marshall, I gave him some of the reconquered lands in Finland



But probably due to the unfortunate incident, domestic life got less fun



Although things were generally peaceful, there were the usual peasant revolts, one of which led to this



Still we managed to fit in one extra son this year, despite my wounds and the general frostiness.

[it was about this time the murders started?]

Yes well the first one was blamed on my brother, it was suggested he was bored as we didn’t carry out any assassinations and was just practising. The useful thing was of course no-one found it hard to believe that a Rurikovich marshall just happened to die:



The odd thing was that Nainnas never admitted he’d done it even to me. Also some servants indicated that Halsten had been seen with a veiled woman just before he died – but then my brother was always found of disguises.

Is it downhill from here for Vladimir’s reign? Is a bit of adultery and covering up a murder enough to put Gabi off?
 
The useful thing was of course no-one found it hard to believe that a Rurikovich marshall just happened to die​

I've never read more true words! Very good updates.
 
I get the distinct feeling the revolving door for marshals is about to start spinning very fast...

Good couple of updates!

~8Y8~