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    Real Strategy Requires Cunning

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morningSIDEr

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Very nice update. However, what the...Harry actually snared someone for once? I get a premonition that things are about to go very, very badly...
 

wolfcity

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glad you're enjoying it, aye they get everywhere. The screen for 'my relatives' in the ledger is huge and they've got to most of Europe. If one is called Mstislav, don't let him near a baggage train :cool:/QUOTE]

:rofl: where is that in the ledger?
 

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Good stuff, Vladimir proving once again that a place in heaven can be brought. A reincarnated Kettu sounds promising. I think after this update, I'll ever walk warily past any blind person using a cane, worried that it is infact a swordstick!

Blind Fury, that 1989 gem starring a slumming Rutger Hauer?!? Bless you for that reference! :)

Caught up and thoroughly in awe at the utter implosion of Russia. That was something else...

Looks like Harry's run out of luck in the management department, ironically just as he's bagged two additions for Hell in a row. Fitting for his style, though, that even when things are looking up for him, there's something to make sure it all ends in tears. ;)
 

loki100

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a quick thank you

Just to thank everyone who voted for this AAR in the recent round of awards ... that it picked up votes in 3/4 categories probably reflects the extent to which this is actually a conventional game play AAR wrapped in a lot of digressions ... so next time I intend to convince at least 1 person to vote for me in the history book section :) then I have 4/4 ....
 

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I'm not quite caught up yet, but this really brightened my night. I daresay the tester can stand some improvement: this AAR has made me laugh, entertained me in general and features characters that I can empathize with. None of these things a Dan Brown book has done for me (for shame, I actually read that Da Vinci drivel some years ago. I also tried one of the earlier books but had to put it down when I finished the half-page hagiography that was the description of a main character - Dan Brown seems utterly unable to create a believeable character: you know, the type that isn't either a slavering monster or an übermensch superhero).

ah the critical difference is I've just written a 100 page report and probably won't earn what he gets for a sentence of utter tosh - there's some sort of message there :confused:

Good to know there is still space in hell. :p
Very nice update. However, what the...Harry actually snared someone for once? I get a premonition that things are about to go very, very badly...

pah, you have too little faith in Harry, he knows what he's doing (its just he doesn't know how to do it)

:rofl: where is that in the ledger?

Its one of the screens under characters - my dynasty and it lists (I think) everyone who is a blood relative, can be quite a hoot to spot the more outlandish end points

Blind Fury, that 1989 gem starring a slumming Rutger Hauer?!? Bless you for that reference! :)

Caught up and thoroughly in awe at the utter implosion of Russia. That was something else...

Looks like Harry's run out of luck in the management department, ironically just as he's bagged two additions for Hell in a row. Fitting for his style, though, that even when things are looking up for him, there's something to make sure it all ends in tears. ;)

It was indeed some collapse, but as you'll see Russia will arise from the ashes once I get my titles back and a bit of prestige - as long as you keep (or your family regains) the main titles you do get a steady trickle of returning vassals

it also helps to finally have a king who outlives your average fruit fly
 

loki100

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Vseslav, 1306-1310, kids, families and wars

Scene 1: The Nail and Tail Bar

Harry is sipping vodka [1] with Gabi, Perun and a few of his cronies, expanding on his version of the attributes needed to be the Prince of Darkness

You see this demonic thing, it all comes down to subtlety, you have to decide early on what to do, if you have natural ability its all so easy, I mean look at this one, so easy to decide how to handle him



Pompous little so and so chaste, modest, priest … I mean, obviously not one for us

Perun perks up

He maybe chaste but look at all those kids

Pah, should add, he’s a bit hypocritical



But lets keep quiet, I really don’t want this one

Scene 2: Astarte’s Tower in Dis

A waitress-demon passes on Harry’s latest bon-mot

He said what? There was I, stuck in that damn tower in Beloozero, inciting and inciting [2]




That man is impossible

Scene 3: The nail and tail

Must say we did a good job on the kids




Its gonna be fun when that lot grow up

But Harry, given how religious he was, why did he abandon his bishop?



Oh well at the start they were such mates



And then … well then Fedor … well he claimed he only went back to the baggage train for his spare crucifix, didn't take that much convincing to be honest



Naturally he’s not the only careless general:



But once the war with Bjarmia went in his favour



So he ended up with



The others look a bit dubious, Harry’s version of a successful persecution doesn’t seem to quite match reality

What are you lot looking at? Ah no, you just don’t understand, vassals mean?

Prizes?[3]

No disloyalty



Like this little gem over in the East, a right little b….



And then you see he gets so wrapped up in his family stuff




And of course, when he wasn’t paying attention



[1] Quite prepared to do product placements in return for sponsorship
[2] older readers may remember that it was from this castle that she rendered Ivan legless for the rest of his reign
[3] A reference that will make no sense to anyone who doesn't remember 'Humph'


So is the Rus Kingdom on its way back up? Has Harry convinced anyone? If vassals aren't prizes, what are the use of points?
 

morningSIDEr

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A spectacular fall for the Kingdom of Russia...and a seemingly spectacular rise once more (fuelled, of course, by many marshalls losing numerous limbs and a great many heroic baggage raids!)! Excellent stuff.
 

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The lesson of Dan Brown making millions with drivel is an old one: life ain't fair. :)

That is an impressive rebound, after the near-total implosion. Life is not dull in Russia. Short, brutal and nasty, yes, but not dull.

I'm a little puzzled by Harry's rejection of Vseslav. He's a hypocrit, a liar, and isn't one of Harry's honorifics 'Prince of Lies'? Oh well, I can't see Harry's method to his madness, nor do I feel confident that he'll succeed, but at least he's content with his lot and that counts for something, right? ;)
 

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Going back one update:

I think that was a bit harsh on Mikula. He only killed one nephew (and he wasn't even a very good one). He should have just planned ahead and put together a team of crack theologians to develop a just war-style defence for family assasination.

Note: He needed a team of crack theologians, not the A-Team in theological mode (which wasn't realy their greatest strength)
 

loki100

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A spectacular fall for the Kingdom of Russia...and a seemingly spectacular rise once more (fuelled, of course, by many marshalls losing numerous limbs and a great many heroic baggage raids!)! Excellent stuff.
That is an impressive rebound, after the near-total implosion. Life is not dull in Russia. Short, brutal and nasty, yes, but not dull.

Aye, easy come easy go, seems that CK's mechanisms encourage this sort of expand-contract around a defined core. The main reason for the return to some sort of power was attracting back previous vassals, so the key seems to be to keep your larger titles if you can

What if the mongols return?

well there are a lot of them running amok in the Middle East and Asia Minor at the moment, I'm hoping the Golden Horde has given up. If not it could be quite handy, last time the Kingdom expanded so much was at the expense of picking up provinces from them.

Going back one update:
I think that was a bit harsh on Mikula. He only killed one nephew (and he wasn't even a very good one). He should have just planned ahead and put together a team of crack theologians to develop a just war-style defence for family assasination.

Note: He needed a team of crack theologians, not the A-Team in theological mode (which wasn't realy their greatest strength)
I'm a little puzzled by Harry's rejection of Vseslav. He's a hypocrit, a liar, and isn't one of Harry's honorifics 'Prince of Lies'? Oh well, I can't see Harry's method to his madness, nor do I feel confident that he'll succeed, but at least he's content with his lot and that counts for something, right? ;)

Mikula was also a full party to the 'lets kill everyone' events during Roman's reign, so his hit list was a bit larger. But yes you're probably right, given this is medieval Russia why should murdering your nephew get you permanently damned? Of course that maybe why Harry has got a bit less keen ... one easy claim and he's more interested in hanging out with his demonic chums than actually doing the tempting/luring/active evil stuff.

Now the next update is a bit heavy on the losses ... it involves, and look away if you're squeemish, a war in Poland ... and we all know what happens to the Rus nobility when asked to fight there (as a reminder).
 

loki100

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Vseslav 1310-1312, A German invasion of Russia

Scene 1: The Clerks office.

The two clerks are sorting and collating papers.

How are we doing

Ok, almost got the next file made up for the Court, just a bit of domestic stuff

one more child … I thought he was meant to be chaste?



and here's a marriage



Are we not a team?

No

Oh

Oh, oh oh

Are you ok?

No

Look at this



Yes?

Well whats between Bohemia and Russia?

Poland

Oh

Yes Oh

Ukko? Great idea

Calls out into the corridor

Heh Ukko are you doing anything at the moment?

A rather depressed voice is heard:

No just waiting for someone to take notice of me

Well we have, do you fancy sorting out a file for us, you know neatly sorting out all the injured marshalls … that sort of thing?

Might as well, I’ve got most of eternity after all (in a depressed voice that would have stopped Marvin in his tracks[1])

Wanders off with file


Scene 2: Ukko is chained to his bench sorting out the files

Muttering to himself as he works

Well, they do start early in Germany don't they



strange they told me this war went badly for a while



ah, the traditional disloyal vassal, good to see that some things never change



ouch, nasty



maybe he was distracted?



my this is impressive




so brutish these Germans, we should really try to keep them out of Russia



good to see our heroic Russians hurling them back with no thought for their own safety



they should take some care though




No wonder the Germans gave up:



not sure why this is in my file? ... oh its nice to see that Vseslav has the traditional bastard too



Calls out to the clerks

Ok lads, finished

Scene 3: The Nail and Tail Bar

Harry is in a relaxed mood

I tell you there are times you just leave them alone, its amazing what these Rurikovichs can do without any external intervention

[1] - You all know who Marvin is?

is there anybody left uninjured in the Rus Nobility? Has Germany learnt its lesson? What might happen if Harry actually did his job?
 

Enewald

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It is a shame you cannot kill disloyal former vassals after you conquer them. They don't deserve more.
 

morningSIDEr

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It is a shame you cannot kill disloyal former vassals after you conquer them. They don't deserve more.

If they rejoin the Rurikovich Empire, they can be easily killed; simply declare war on someone and raise the regiments your disloyal vassal has. He'll end up dead, alongside half a dozen other marshals within mere minutes of the first battle!

A very nice update, and I am very glad to see the link to your HoI3 AAR, as I never venture on to that board otherwise (due to the fact that I bought HoI3 as soon as it was released and was reduced to fits of anger with its bugged and horrendously unplayable state upon release). Needless to say I'll be checking it out forthwith!
 

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I know who Marvin is, but that doesn't do me any good. Nothing ever does.
 

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I assume you refer to Marvin the Paranoid Android, but a quick troll through Wikipedia gives alternatives such as Marvin the Martian and Marvin the Tap-Dancing Horse...

Nice to see Ukko make another appearance - a position in the clerical temporary office pool seems a fitting afterlife for him.

I must say that the amount of ill that befalls your commanders is always awe-inspiring. That poor Ivan suffered THREE injuries in one campaign! I don't know how the man still managed to hobble into battle, but the sight of him coming back for more ought to be enough to scare off the most ferocious attackers. :)
 

Alfredian

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I think Ivan may be related to the Black Knight. "Its just a flesh wound".
 

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It is a shame you cannot kill disloyal former vassals after you conquer them. They don't deserve more.

well as Morningsider puts it, best solution to a disloyal vassal is merely to call up their regiments and watch them slaughter themselves

If they rejoin the Rurikovich Empire, they can be easily killed; simply declare war on someone and raise the regiments your disloyal vassal has. He'll end up dead, alongside half a dozen other marshals within mere minutes of the first battle!

I know who Marvin is, but that doesn't do me any good. Nothing ever does.

Pure Hilarity!

I assume you refer to Marvin the Paranoid Android, but a quick troll through Wikipedia gives alternatives such as Marvin the Martian and Marvin the Tap-Dancing Horse...

Nice to see Ukko make another appearance - a position in the clerical temporary office pool seems a fitting afterlife for him.

I must say that the amount of ill that befalls your commanders is always awe-inspiring. That poor Ivan suffered THREE injuries in one campaign! I don't know how the man still managed to hobble into battle, but the sight of him coming back for more ought to be enough to scare off the most ferocious attackers. :)

I think Ivan may be related to the Black Knight. "Its just a flesh wound".

aye I did think that Ivan was being really very careless after a while, obviously after the first cut the poor man lost the will to live ... but couldn't quite manage to get himself killed either

update later today hopefully, more or less written but its one I keep on changing my mind over, a trip to the wild west of Paisley (a town where so few shops are open, they've started painting the windows to make it look like there's a real shop there), should help me decide how to put it together.

I do so hope with CK2 they don't give in to all the various desires to complicate the game. One of its delights (to me) is all the stuff around trade, innovations etc you can just ignore and slip into the delicious madness of the events & your family's less sociable traits. Having said that, its def good to see it on the way.