• Crusader Kings III Available Now!

    The realm rejoices as Paradox Interactive announces the launch of Crusader Kings III, the latest entry in the publisher’s grand strategy role-playing game franchise. Advisors may now jockey for positions of influence and adversaries should save their schemes for another day, because on this day Crusader Kings III can be purchased on Steam, the Paradox Store, and other major online retailers.


    Real Strategy Requires Cunning

This thread is more than 5 months old.

It is very likely that it does not need any further discussion and thus bumping it serves no purpose. If you feel it is necessary to make a new reply, you can still do so though.

morningSIDEr

General
15 Badges
Mar 31, 2008
2.362
0
  • Hearts of Iron II: Armageddon
  • Crusader Kings II
  • Deus Vult
  • Europa Universalis III
  • Divine Wind
  • Hearts of Iron III
  • Heir to the Throne
  • Europa Universalis III Complete
  • Europa Universalis III Complete
  • Victoria: Revolutions
  • Europa Universalis: Rome
  • Victoria 2: A House Divided
  • Victoria 2
  • Rome: Vae Victis
  • 500k Club
Oh I’m slowly training up a small squad of demons who will infest major cities about 800 years from now and we’ll lure humans into installing these things in their houses.

What? You mean it was actually a demon who managed to trick me into getting the avacado bathroom installation?! Well I still think its stylish...

Brilliant update, always nice to see how poor Harry will come a cropper.
 

naggy

Field Marshal
68 Badges
Oct 23, 2003
5.755
2
Visit site
  • Cities: Skylines
  • March of the Eagles
  • Europa Universalis III Complete
  • Europa Universalis IV: Res Publica
  • Europa Universalis: Rome
  • Semper Fi
  • Sword of the Stars
  • Victoria 2
  • Victoria 2: A House Divided
  • Rome: Vae Victis
  • Warlock: Master of the Arcane
  • War of the Roses
  • 500k Club
  • Majesty 2
  • Crusader Kings II: Holy Knight (pre-order)
  • Europa Universalis IV: El Dorado
  • Mount & Blade: Warband
  • Crusader Kings II: Way of Life
  • Pillars of Eternity
  • Europa Universalis IV: Common Sense
  • Crusader Kings II: Horse Lords
  • Europa Universalis IV: Cossacks
  • Crusader Kings II: Conclave
  • Europa Universalis IV: Mare Nostrum
  • Stellaris
  • Prison Architect
  • Divine Wind
  • Cities in Motion
  • Crusader Kings II
  • Crusader Kings II: Charlemagne
  • Crusader Kings II: Legacy of Rome
  • Crusader Kings II: The Old Gods
  • Crusader Kings II: Rajas of India
  • Crusader Kings II: The Republic
  • Crusader Kings II: Sons of Abraham
  • Crusader Kings II: Sunset Invasion
  • Crusader Kings II: Sword of Islam
  • Europa Universalis III
  • Europa Universalis III: Chronicles
  • Hearts of Iron Anthology
  • Europa Universalis IV
  • Europa Universalis IV: Art of War
  • Europa Universalis IV: Conquest of Paradise
  • Europa Universalis IV: Wealth of Nations
  • For the Motherland
  • Hearts of Iron III
  • Heir to the Throne
  • Europa Universalis III Complete
  • King Arthur II
  • Knights of Pen and Paper +1 Edition
You're banned from mentioning the 80's again. (infact can we get a forum ban on mentioning the 80's plzkthxbai)

so, you want the forum to stream the Go Gos and hair bands whenever you're on? :)
 

Sophilia

Gloria in excelsis Yakumo.
9 Badges
Nov 30, 2009
32
0
  • Crusader Kings II
  • Crusader Kings II: Charlemagne
  • Crusader Kings II: Legacy of Rome
  • Crusader Kings II: The Old Gods
  • Crusader Kings II: Rajas of India
  • Crusader Kings II: The Republic
  • Crusader Kings II: Sons of Abraham
  • Crusader Kings II: Sword of Islam
  • Crusader Kings II: Way of Life
...aaaaand now I'm imagining "A Finnish Rurikid in Allfather Odin's Court."

Bloody brilliant.
 

loki100

Field Marshal
22 Badges
Jul 1, 2008
7.559
6
  • Rome Gold
  • Mount & Blade: Warband
  • Victoria 2: A House Divided
  • Sword of the Stars
  • Semper Fi
  • Hearts of Iron II: Armageddon
  • Victoria: Revolutions
  • Europa Universalis III Complete
  • Europa Universalis III Complete
  • Heir to the Throne
  • Hearts of Iron III
  • For the Motherland
  • Divine Wind
  • Europa Universalis III
  • Deus Vult
  • Crusader Kings II
  • Victoria 2
  • Warlock: Master of the Arcane
  • 500k Club
  • Crusader Kings II: Holy Knight (pre-order)
  • Pride of Nations
  • Rise of Prussia
Harry is really turning into the protagonist of this story, isn't he? I mean, the Rurikovichs are a bunch who vary from somewhat-endearing-yet-idiotic to utterly-psychotic-and-idiotic, but Harry's a reliable constant: always scheming, always failing.

Perhaps he'll get a measure of revenge from dealing with Gabi, but given the way Gabi's outsmarted him in the past, I am more inclined to expect yet more disappointment for Harry from his barbecue shenanigans.

Its odd how sometimes AARs find their voice as you go on. I sort of imagined this as being a set of renditions by each king with some prompting and a final judgement. I can now see how I could write it with scant regard to what actually happens in the game.

Anyway the barbecue has a starring role in the next update. I've written two reports this week, designed a survey-monkey questionnaire and Boris has finally died.

The first Finn in Walhalla? :cool:
Haha. Yes, perfect.
...aaaaand now I'm imagining "A Finnish Rurikid in Allfather Odin's Court."Bloody brilliant.

Well I have a serial killer running amok somewhere in heaven so a Finn disturbing all those manly norse drinking games seems a small deviation from the known realities of the afterlife :cool:

What? You mean it was actually a demon who managed to trick me into getting the avacado bathroom installation?! Well I still think its stylish...
You're banned from mentioning the 80's again. (infact can we get a forum ban on mentioning the 80's plzkthxbai)
so, you want the forum to stream the Go Gos and hair bands whenever you're on? :)

I wonder if I can work in the idea of torturing the damned by exposure to prog rock, and thus complete the 70s/80s horror show being slowly constructed in Hell? Genesis on permanent loop?

always nice to see how poor Harry will come a cropper.

I've sort of got Dick Dasterdly from Wacky Races in mind with Harry at the moment - lots of cunning schemes that fall apart right at the end.
 

loki100

Field Marshal
22 Badges
Jul 1, 2008
7.559
6
  • Rome Gold
  • Mount & Blade: Warband
  • Victoria 2: A House Divided
  • Sword of the Stars
  • Semper Fi
  • Hearts of Iron II: Armageddon
  • Victoria: Revolutions
  • Europa Universalis III Complete
  • Europa Universalis III Complete
  • Heir to the Throne
  • Hearts of Iron III
  • For the Motherland
  • Divine Wind
  • Europa Universalis III
  • Deus Vult
  • Crusader Kings II
  • Victoria 2
  • Warlock: Master of the Arcane
  • 500k Club
  • Crusader Kings II: Holy Knight (pre-order)
  • Pride of Nations
  • Rise of Prussia
Boris II: A summary of his miseries

Scene 1: A small room in the main Courthouse

The two clerks are sitting working through the immense set of files connected with Boris. Ukko sits chained to his bench, looking rather bored.

How far have you got?

Only up to 1205. I mean does he really have to report every church he built?



Wonder what the high heidin’s will make of him?

Aye it does seem pretty straightforward really, mind you he did seem to have an awful lot of bad luck

Scene 2: The barbecue pit in Hell

Harry is lounging by the side of his unlit, waterlogged barbecue pit. Gabi stands nearby, his robe is rather singed. Harry is drunk and maudlin.

Astarte, come over here ... you’re my only real friend you know?

Well maybe you shouldn’t have squashed Beelzebub

But its so frustrating, I mean here we are in hell and I can’t even find a builder who can construct a decent barbecue. Who would have thought that hell had a problem with being water logged.

Anyway do you think we handled Boris the right way?

Not sure, we’ll have to see, but, … it was a lot more fun.

Yes but I’m not sure that making their lives a misery whilst they are alive quite compensates for not being able to torment them for all eternity.

But then, there he was trying to be noble and pious, and all this was going on instead.

We almost convinced his wife to leave him after less than 6 months marriage



And again a few years later



We did do a really good job on his vassals



We finally got to his bishop



We even convinced his mother to rebel



Don’t you think burning the church was a bit blatant though?



Ah but what fun …

And then there was that incubus thing



And did he really believe that stuff about the Holy Grail?



Twice?



Was Harry the cause of all Boris' problems. Will his new approach of tormenting the Rurikovich's whilst they are alive work out any more successfully? Is realm duress really that much of a problem?

 
Last edited:

Stuyvesant

Field Marshal
40 Badges
Dec 7, 2002
6.230
44
Visit site
  • Victoria 2: Heart of Darkness
  • Magicka
  • Europa Universalis III Complete
  • Europa Universalis IV: Res Publica
  • Victoria: Revolutions
  • Europa Universalis: Rome
  • Semper Fi
  • The Showdown Effect
  • Victoria 2
  • Victoria 2: A House Divided
  • Leviathan: Warships
  • Rome: Vae Victis
  • Warlock: Master of the Arcane
  • 200k Club
  • 500k Club
  • Crusader Kings II: Holy Knight (pre-order)
  • Europa Universalis IV: Pre-order
  • Pride of Nations
  • Mount & Blade: Warband
  • Achtung Panzer
  • Europa Universalis III
  • Cities in Motion
  • Crusader Kings II
  • Crusader Kings II: Legacy of Rome
  • Crusader Kings II: The Old Gods
  • Crusader Kings II: Rajas of India
  • Crusader Kings II: The Republic
  • Crusader Kings II: Sons of Abraham
  • Crusader Kings II: Sword of Islam
  • Deus Vult
  • Hearts of Iron Anthology
  • Divine Wind
  • Europa Universalis IV
  • Europa Universalis IV: Conquest of Paradise
  • Europa Universalis IV: Wealth of Nations
  • For the Motherland
  • Hearts of Iron III
  • Hearts of Iron III: Their Finest Hour
  • Heir to the Throne
  • Europa Universalis III Complete
Definitely an A for effort. Not so sure about the payoff for eternity, but hey, at least Harry was enjoying himself. :)

Unlike his barbecue adventures - not being able to light a fire in the pit of Hell must count as an all-time low.

The bit where the chaplain was enjoying his orgies too much... Shades of Rasputin? ;)
 

morningSIDEr

General
15 Badges
Mar 31, 2008
2.362
0
  • Hearts of Iron II: Armageddon
  • Crusader Kings II
  • Deus Vult
  • Europa Universalis III
  • Divine Wind
  • Hearts of Iron III
  • Heir to the Throne
  • Europa Universalis III Complete
  • Europa Universalis III Complete
  • Victoria: Revolutions
  • Europa Universalis: Rome
  • Victoria 2: A House Divided
  • Victoria 2
  • Rome: Vae Victis
  • 500k Club
Is realm duress really that much of a problem?

In a realm ruled by a Rurikovich? Yes, I rather think so! Cracking stuff, a waterlogged barbecue makes me think of setting up my own sorry effort in the back garden...
 

loki100

Field Marshal
22 Badges
Jul 1, 2008
7.559
6
  • Rome Gold
  • Mount & Blade: Warband
  • Victoria 2: A House Divided
  • Sword of the Stars
  • Semper Fi
  • Hearts of Iron II: Armageddon
  • Victoria: Revolutions
  • Europa Universalis III Complete
  • Europa Universalis III Complete
  • Heir to the Throne
  • Hearts of Iron III
  • For the Motherland
  • Divine Wind
  • Europa Universalis III
  • Deus Vult
  • Crusader Kings II
  • Victoria 2
  • Warlock: Master of the Arcane
  • 500k Club
  • Crusader Kings II: Holy Knight (pre-order)
  • Pride of Nations
  • Rise of Prussia
Definitely an A for effort. Not so sure about the payoff for eternity, but hey, at least Harry was enjoying himself. :)

Unlike his barbecue adventures - not being able to light a fire in the pit of Hell must count as an all-time low.

The bit where the chaplain was enjoying his orgies too much... Shades of Rasputin? ;)

I was surprised at the sex mad bishop, I thought I'd only appointed the celibate true believers during this particular reign. But yes you must be right, he's only setting up the precedents and standards for future generations.

In a realm ruled by a Rurikovich? Yes, I rather think so! Cracking stuff, a waterlogged barbecue makes me think of setting up my own sorry effort in the back garden...

I was wondering when one of them would be so bonkers as to trigger realm duress. I get the impression its not a proper CK AAR till you've had a least one, but in reality it wasn't too bad, as you'll see from the next update I'd lost 3 of the principalities at the end ... but it all got so much worse when 'mummy' got a bit angry.

How many wives have you so far beheaded?

I think I'm on two executions and one casual murder (Kettu, who else), so not too bad ;)
 

loki100

Field Marshal
22 Badges
Jul 1, 2008
7.559
6
  • Rome Gold
  • Mount & Blade: Warband
  • Victoria 2: A House Divided
  • Sword of the Stars
  • Semper Fi
  • Hearts of Iron II: Armageddon
  • Victoria: Revolutions
  • Europa Universalis III Complete
  • Europa Universalis III Complete
  • Heir to the Throne
  • Hearts of Iron III
  • For the Motherland
  • Divine Wind
  • Europa Universalis III
  • Deus Vult
  • Crusader Kings II
  • Victoria 2
  • Warlock: Master of the Arcane
  • 500k Club
  • Crusader Kings II: Holy Knight (pre-order)
  • Pride of Nations
  • Rise of Prussia
Boris II: tieing things up neatly in knots

Scene 1: Ante-Chamber to the Courtroom

Present: Ukko is making himself useful helping out the two clerks

Thanks for letting me do something, you know its really very boring sitting chained to a bench for over 60 years.

Well given the sheer amount of paperwork that Boris has created we need all the help we can get … just remember to put the shackles back on if one of that lot turn up.

Ok, well I think I’ve finished up the injured marshall file, you know, even by the family standards he was rather careless. Not only that, he forgot the idea was to get your generals damaged so that you stay intact.

So what I’ve done is to separate out his personal damage from the others
:






ummh, wonder if it was the same leg each time, wonder if he has a bit of a wobble?

And the rest













That’s really useful, Ukko thanks, for some reason the court likes that part of the file.

Now, have we sorted out his wars.

Yep looks like we can divide them into:

The War of Southern Expansion, 1194-95:

Seems he started by attacking the Crimea



And then moving to complete his grab of the area around Azov:







My that is an impressive looking map (side note - the dark green is the realm).

Aye Ukko, better than you managed

There’s then a quiet period with just a few small wars around Kiev, we think he was planning to attack the Qara-khanid again

Civil War: 1198-1201

That then seemed to set off a massive revolt across the South as his realm fell apart, and it spread to Estonia

So he was left with



Still not too bad, so he’s lost Azov, Kiev and Estonia.

That was then followed by the:

War of the Rebellious Mummy 1202-1205

Which left him with:



Reconquests 1207-1210

Which started with Beloozero and ended with Kiev






And finally:

The war he inherited from Mummy 1213-1215





That’s a neat file

Well lets see what they all make of it, wonder what his defence will be?

Having been the victim of Harry's games while he was alive, is Boris now doomed for eternity? What was it between him and his mummy? Was he really very careless with his marshalls?

 
Last edited:

Enewald

Enewald Enewald Enewald
58 Badges
Oct 17, 2007
23.941
1.814
  • Europa Universalis IV: Res Publica
  • Hearts of Iron III: Their Finest Hour
  • Hearts of Iron III Collection
  • Heir to the Throne
  • Impire
  • Europa Universalis III Complete
  • Iron Cross
  • Leviathan: Warships
  • The Kings Crusade
  • Magicka
  • Majesty 2 Collection
  • March of the Eagles
  • Europa Universalis III Complete
  • Hearts of Iron III
  • Victoria: Revolutions
  • Europa Universalis: Rome
  • Rome Gold
  • Semper Fi
  • Sengoku
  • Victoria 2
  • Victoria 2: A House Divided
  • Victoria 2: Heart of Darkness
  • Rome: Vae Victis
  • Warlock: Master of the Arcane
  • 500k Club
  • Crusader Kings II: Sword of Islam
  • Arsenal of Democracy
  • Hearts of Iron II: Armageddon
  • Cities in Motion
  • Crusader Kings II
  • Crusader Kings II: Charlemagne
  • Crusader Kings II: Legacy of Rome
  • Crusader Kings II: The Old Gods
  • Crusader Kings II: Rajas of India
  • Crusader Kings II: The Republic
  • Crusader Kings II: Sons of Abraham
  • Crusader Kings II: Sunset Invasion
  • Darkest Hour
  • Deus Vult
  • Dungeonland
  • East India Company Collection
  • Europa Universalis III
  • Europa Universalis III Complete
  • Divine Wind
  • Europa Universalis IV: Art of War
  • Europa Universalis IV: Conquest of Paradise
  • Europa Universalis IV: Wealth of Nations
  • For The Glory
  • For the Motherland
  • Crusader Kings II: Way of Life
You ought to have more and weaker vassals. Those areas of revolts are too insane. :D
 

naggy

Field Marshal
68 Badges
Oct 23, 2003
5.755
2
Visit site
  • Cities: Skylines
  • March of the Eagles
  • Europa Universalis III Complete
  • Europa Universalis IV: Res Publica
  • Europa Universalis: Rome
  • Semper Fi
  • Sword of the Stars
  • Victoria 2
  • Victoria 2: A House Divided
  • Rome: Vae Victis
  • Warlock: Master of the Arcane
  • War of the Roses
  • 500k Club
  • Majesty 2
  • Crusader Kings II: Holy Knight (pre-order)
  • Europa Universalis IV: El Dorado
  • Mount & Blade: Warband
  • Crusader Kings II: Way of Life
  • Pillars of Eternity
  • Europa Universalis IV: Common Sense
  • Crusader Kings II: Horse Lords
  • Europa Universalis IV: Cossacks
  • Crusader Kings II: Conclave
  • Europa Universalis IV: Mare Nostrum
  • Stellaris
  • Prison Architect
  • Divine Wind
  • Cities in Motion
  • Crusader Kings II
  • Crusader Kings II: Charlemagne
  • Crusader Kings II: Legacy of Rome
  • Crusader Kings II: The Old Gods
  • Crusader Kings II: Rajas of India
  • Crusader Kings II: The Republic
  • Crusader Kings II: Sons of Abraham
  • Crusader Kings II: Sunset Invasion
  • Crusader Kings II: Sword of Islam
  • Europa Universalis III
  • Europa Universalis III: Chronicles
  • Hearts of Iron Anthology
  • Europa Universalis IV
  • Europa Universalis IV: Art of War
  • Europa Universalis IV: Conquest of Paradise
  • Europa Universalis IV: Wealth of Nations
  • For the Motherland
  • Hearts of Iron III
  • Heir to the Throne
  • Europa Universalis III Complete
  • King Arthur II
  • Knights of Pen and Paper +1 Edition
Reincarnate Mummy, so you can have The Mummy Returns.
 

morningSIDEr

General
15 Badges
Mar 31, 2008
2.362
0
  • Hearts of Iron II: Armageddon
  • Crusader Kings II
  • Deus Vult
  • Europa Universalis III
  • Divine Wind
  • Hearts of Iron III
  • Heir to the Throne
  • Europa Universalis III Complete
  • Europa Universalis III Complete
  • Victoria: Revolutions
  • Europa Universalis: Rome
  • Victoria 2: A House Divided
  • Victoria 2
  • Rome: Vae Victis
  • 500k Club
That’s really useful, Ukko thanks, for some reason the court likes that part of the file.

I certainly like it! It still beggars belief that the Rurikovichs can still find men willing to become their marshals. I loved that Boris was club-footed twice, I guess it evens things up for him. Superb update as ever.
 
Last edited:

Stuyvesant

Field Marshal
40 Badges
Dec 7, 2002
6.230
44
Visit site
  • Victoria 2: Heart of Darkness
  • Magicka
  • Europa Universalis III Complete
  • Europa Universalis IV: Res Publica
  • Victoria: Revolutions
  • Europa Universalis: Rome
  • Semper Fi
  • The Showdown Effect
  • Victoria 2
  • Victoria 2: A House Divided
  • Leviathan: Warships
  • Rome: Vae Victis
  • Warlock: Master of the Arcane
  • 200k Club
  • 500k Club
  • Crusader Kings II: Holy Knight (pre-order)
  • Europa Universalis IV: Pre-order
  • Pride of Nations
  • Mount & Blade: Warband
  • Achtung Panzer
  • Europa Universalis III
  • Cities in Motion
  • Crusader Kings II
  • Crusader Kings II: Legacy of Rome
  • Crusader Kings II: The Old Gods
  • Crusader Kings II: Rajas of India
  • Crusader Kings II: The Republic
  • Crusader Kings II: Sons of Abraham
  • Crusader Kings II: Sword of Islam
  • Deus Vult
  • Hearts of Iron Anthology
  • Divine Wind
  • Europa Universalis IV
  • Europa Universalis IV: Conquest of Paradise
  • Europa Universalis IV: Wealth of Nations
  • For the Motherland
  • Hearts of Iron III
  • Hearts of Iron III: Their Finest Hour
  • Heir to the Throne
  • Europa Universalis III Complete
However did that poor steward manage to get severely injured twice?!? Isn't it supposed to be the case that a severely wounded character can no longer lead armies? Or did he have miraculous recovery - just in time to get shafted again?

Between the conga line of injured/killed/ransomed marshalls and the awe-inspiring collection of injuries Boris suffered, it's a small miracle that any battle could be fought, let alone won, by the Rurikoviches. :)
 

naggy

Field Marshal
68 Badges
Oct 23, 2003
5.755
2
Visit site
  • Cities: Skylines
  • March of the Eagles
  • Europa Universalis III Complete
  • Europa Universalis IV: Res Publica
  • Europa Universalis: Rome
  • Semper Fi
  • Sword of the Stars
  • Victoria 2
  • Victoria 2: A House Divided
  • Rome: Vae Victis
  • Warlock: Master of the Arcane
  • War of the Roses
  • 500k Club
  • Majesty 2
  • Crusader Kings II: Holy Knight (pre-order)
  • Europa Universalis IV: El Dorado
  • Mount & Blade: Warband
  • Crusader Kings II: Way of Life
  • Pillars of Eternity
  • Europa Universalis IV: Common Sense
  • Crusader Kings II: Horse Lords
  • Europa Universalis IV: Cossacks
  • Crusader Kings II: Conclave
  • Europa Universalis IV: Mare Nostrum
  • Stellaris
  • Prison Architect
  • Divine Wind
  • Cities in Motion
  • Crusader Kings II
  • Crusader Kings II: Charlemagne
  • Crusader Kings II: Legacy of Rome
  • Crusader Kings II: The Old Gods
  • Crusader Kings II: Rajas of India
  • Crusader Kings II: The Republic
  • Crusader Kings II: Sons of Abraham
  • Crusader Kings II: Sunset Invasion
  • Crusader Kings II: Sword of Islam
  • Europa Universalis III
  • Europa Universalis III: Chronicles
  • Hearts of Iron Anthology
  • Europa Universalis IV
  • Europa Universalis IV: Art of War
  • Europa Universalis IV: Conquest of Paradise
  • Europa Universalis IV: Wealth of Nations
  • For the Motherland
  • Hearts of Iron III
  • Heir to the Throne
  • Europa Universalis III Complete
  • King Arthur II
  • Knights of Pen and Paper +1 Edition
However did that poor steward manage to get severely injured twice?!? Isn't it supposed to be the case that a severely wounded character can no longer lead armies? Or did he have miraculous recovery - just in time to get shafted again?

"It's just a flesh wound!"
 

loki100

Field Marshal
22 Badges
Jul 1, 2008
7.559
6
  • Rome Gold
  • Mount & Blade: Warband
  • Victoria 2: A House Divided
  • Sword of the Stars
  • Semper Fi
  • Hearts of Iron II: Armageddon
  • Victoria: Revolutions
  • Europa Universalis III Complete
  • Europa Universalis III Complete
  • Heir to the Throne
  • Hearts of Iron III
  • For the Motherland
  • Divine Wind
  • Europa Universalis III
  • Deus Vult
  • Crusader Kings II
  • Victoria 2
  • Warlock: Master of the Arcane
  • 500k Club
  • Crusader Kings II: Holy Knight (pre-order)
  • Pride of Nations
  • Rise of Prussia
However did that poor steward manage to get severely injured twice?!? Isn't it supposed to be the case that a severely wounded character can no longer lead armies? Or did he have miraculous recovery - just in time to get shafted again?

"It's just a flesh wound!"

I've had this sequence before of a general getting severely injured in one battle and then the same, or worse usually, soon after. Its obvious the game engine won't place a severly wounded character into command (I know this from the next reign - small plot spoiler) but I'm not sure it actually removes them if they are already in command till their regiment is disbanded.

I certainly like it! It still beggars belief that the Rurikovichs can still find men willing to become their marshals. I loved that Boris was club-footed twice, I guess it evens things up for him. Superb update as ever.

Between the conga line of injured/killed/ransomed marshalls and the awe-inspiring collection of injuries Boris suffered, it's a small miracle that any battle could be fought, let alone won, by the Rurikoviches. :)

But one does wonder if Boris' leg wounds were both to the same side or if in some wierd way its sort of evened him up. Such are the dilemnas that CK poses.

Its when I do a list like that, I realise how many I'm getting through each reign, says something for the collective sanity of the Russian nobility? Most of the battles I win, I do so having first made sure I seriously outnumber the opposition - you may notice I'm very sparing in my use of screenshots that report individual battles - I've usually got far too much to hide.

You ought to have more and weaker vassals. Those areas of revolts are too insane. :D

I think you're right on this. Sometimes I've inherited a super-vassal, that often happened the first few times I got control over Pereyaslavl and a few times I've created one. Since I've often had very low levels of loyalty (can't even start to imagine why), I've tended to give stuff to one of the few Prince(-esses)s that I can trust. Which is great till they or their heirs get uppity in turn. I'll see if I can move to a system of more but smaller vassals.

Reincarnate Mummy, so you can have The Mummy Returns.

One of the regular themes has been mummy problems. Added to that the disloyal ex-wife & you have a problem that has affected quite a few of my kings.
 
Last edited:

loki100

Field Marshal
22 Badges
Jul 1, 2008
7.559
6
  • Rome Gold
  • Mount & Blade: Warband
  • Victoria 2: A House Divided
  • Sword of the Stars
  • Semper Fi
  • Hearts of Iron II: Armageddon
  • Victoria: Revolutions
  • Europa Universalis III Complete
  • Europa Universalis III Complete
  • Heir to the Throne
  • Hearts of Iron III
  • For the Motherland
  • Divine Wind
  • Europa Universalis III
  • Deus Vult
  • Crusader Kings II
  • Victoria 2
  • Warlock: Master of the Arcane
  • 500k Club
  • Crusader Kings II: Holy Knight (pre-order)
  • Pride of Nations
  • Rise of Prussia
Boris II, 1191-1215, the trial

Scene 1: The Courtroom

Gabi runs in late, his robe is wet and muddy

Gabriel, this court decides men’s fate for eternity, I think you could at least bother to turn up clean and tidy, obviously doing penance in Hell is bad for you

Its Harry …

You mean the Prince of Darkness

Yes, yes, him. He’s got most of hell digging drainage ditches in an attempt to relieve the waterlogging of his barbecue.

You mean he hasn’t yet understood the nature of divine punishment for all his evil acts aimed at the noble Boris?

Scene 2: The trial starts

Boris we know you reigned for almost 25 years but could you keep this brief. We have evidence of a malign conspiracy against you due to evidence supplied by a certain female demon, so we may discount some events.

Gabi looks bemused

Who?

Don’t you know?

No?

Oh

Excuse me

Yes, Boris

Does that mean you don’t want to know about all my churches?

Raphael turns to the clerks

We’ve only one on file?

Oh well it’s a sort of exemplar you see

I do not want exemplars, I want evidence. But Boris if you don’t mind, we’ll skip the full list. Maybe you can quickly give us the examples of piety that happened during your reign?

Well, it started well, what with members of the court being seen as saints and all that





Then one of them decided to start murdering the wildlife



And then they moved onto each other ... despite all the wars





I really didn’t understand these women, what with Mummy and Aunt Venla being so rebellious as well.

At least my son, Ivan started out well:



But I became more worried later on



But then he got back on track



But over the next few years he became even less able



So I married him off to the traditional Greek, hoping that would improve him:



but ... I mean just look at that chin



Ummh, ok now we’ve been over your wars and your zeal for bashing Muslims in the south was, well zealous. Could you give us an idea why?

Well, I was zealous so that sort of helped, and then I discovered what they’d done to Ireland and northern Britain:



Oh yes, we may have to look into that at some stage.
So we come to your death, do you have any idea who? I mean you’d defeated almost all your vassals in battle, you were planning a new religious war in the Ukraine, you were publicly denouncing your son as a numpty, so it’s a bit difficult to find candidates for:



However, when it comes to sentencing you, we are aware you were the victim of a considerable degree of malice from Hell

Was I?

Yes you were … and you have amassed a quite amazing piety score.

I think you should be sentenced to the fourth terrace of Purgatory[1]. You probably are guilty of too many crimes for direct entry.

Scene 3: Hell (a plot teaser)

Harry and Astarte stare at the barbecue pit. Harry is explaining that for some reason having now dried it out, all the fires in this corner of Hell have gone out.

“So do you think we should move it to somewhere a bit warmer? Even if I burn one of the damned they just splutter a bit”

“but you’ve put so much effort into it here …. I mean you’ve had the bare earth so nicely landscaped”

“Aye Astarte, you’re probably right … anyway don’t you think you were a bit rough with Ivan. I mean a short session with you and the poor lad could scarcely walk for the rest of his reign”.

[1] look it up yourselves, it sort of makes sense.

Does anyone care who poisoned Boris? What has Astarte done to Ivan? Why has she betrayed Harry’s secrets to Raphael? Pity about Ireland though
 
Last edited: