Sweden and the never ending climax (Divine Wind)

[I-15]

Hey all,
This is my first EU3 AAR, hopefully it survives until the end.

Everything is set to default and difficulty is Normal.
Lucky Nations is on Random.

I am playing as Sweden in 1492. Mostly as this is a pre-defined start date and I am neither at war no in the unholy disadvantage union with denmark.

Hopefully the first update will follow within the following 24 Hours.


Table of Contents
Chapter One
Chapter Two (NEW)
Chapter Three (Coming Soon)

 

[I-15]

Chapter One

Ahh the Known world, bask in it's glory in this year of 1492. Far off Rumors tell of the New world off the West and Vast countries off to the east. However none of these concern us. Even this is too much. Far too much indeed.

The Glorious north. This is where our interests lie. The East calls as Muscovy covets our borders, they must be pushed back. To the South Denmark, our leige, those dastardly opportunists once sought to rule us as our king lay dying and to the West there ally the Norwegians. Denmark rules us indirectly however soon they will come to recognize the power of Sweden.

For this is the time of Sweden, Sweden shall be lord of the north. Nothing can stand in our way. Even our glorious Capital has a glorious name, Stock.... Wait a minute... thats not right...

There we go much better. Now to make it formal.....

“What do you mean we aren't able to change the name of our Capital”
“Government Charter?”
“Since when did we have one of those?!?”
“This is SWEDEN!!?”

Mwahahaha... cough cough “now that I have dealt with that guy we can move on with our plans”

FOR SWEDISH DOMINATION!!! MWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!

To be continued...

 

[Ivir Baggins]

Your next king NEEDS to be called Johan.

 

[Derahan]

Yes, and the rest of them aswell, LONG LIVE KING JOHAN!

 

[Malurous]

Okay, the start is hilarious. Let's see what follows...

 

[Boris ze Spider]

Love the start, cant wait to read more.

 

[I-15]

Hey guys,
Thanks for the comments so far. It is sad really as if I had any modding practical knowledge I would have modded that in but alas I do not

But in the meantime the 2nd update is almost ready. I fought a war

 

[unmerged(58493)]

I think it'd work if you edit the 'sweden' .txt file in the common->countries folder, found in your game directory. Then if you were to take out every name except Johan, I'm pretty sure that'd do the trick.

 

[I-15]

Would that take affect immediately or would i need to start a new game?

 

[Chamboozer]

Your thread title is very....suggestive.

 

[blsteen]

Your thread title is very....suggestive.

Indeed, quite the epic

 

[tuore]

Would that take affect immediately or would i need to start a new game?

I think it works immediately, but it prevents you from getting the achievement.

 

[I-15]

@Chamboozer This was very much NOT intended and I have only just realism the Implications.. :/ uh oh methinks King Johan might need to be a pimp now..

@Spuzzter and Tuore Thanks for that have changed the Sweden txt file. Hopefully it will work and not destroy the game from me not doing it right

BTW 2nd update coming later on today NZ Time..

 

[Range]

Nice beginning...good luck in surviving.

 

[I-15]

Update yay

Chapter Two

First, we need to look at our army. With 3000 Infantry, 1000 Calvary and a lot of land to cover I think we made need to expand. On the other hand... We could save money by cutting military spending, reducing wages, etc and invent a revolutionary game called... Europa Universalis

Of course expansion is needed but soldiers do not need wages.

Johan's Armada. The pride and glory of our proud country. With 4 BIG HUGE SCARY ships, 2 FAST BIG HUGE SCARY SHIPS, and 4 LITTLE BIG HUGE troop carrying SCARY ships all other nations should fear us. Expansion is not needed as all nations surely cannot muster as many ships as us. However as always wages are not important so we shall build new ships anyway.

Frederick the Choir Boy - “Sire what is wrong with you lately...?”
KING - “NURFING TIS WONG... STILLY FARMY ND STF...”
Frederick the Choir Boy - “If you say so Sire but I really think you should talk to someone”
KING - “Aint Nurfing wong me saids 2... mmm pie”

The Kings advisor later stated that the king was unexpectedly incapacitated and could not make it to his interview with the Danish delegate. The Danes as well as withdrawing Danish gold and silver from the country have seen this as an insult. Sadly the king looks set to live on for a while.

In the light of the kings recent drinking problems his previous advisor Johann Snell has chosen to hire two new ones to help Sweden along the path to glory.
Johan the Merchant secretly wishes to rule Sweden as he views Hans as too German sounding to rule Sweden.

Ahh Lappland*. King Hans has redirected funds from all other facets of Swedish life to set up a Ski Resort, Pub and Private Lounge there. Methinks King Hans does not have Swedens best interests in his heart.

HOLY SHIT, Where did Russia come from.....

To be Continued



*I was rather saddened when lappland only had Iron rather than fur

 

[blsteen]

Ah Russia...maybe they'll be busy on the steppe for a while allowing you to stab them in the back

 

[unmerged(157031)]

Ah Russia...maybe they'll be busy on the steppe for a while allowing you to stab them in the back

By the looks of things, they'll be busy with the Ottomans before they can bother the Swedes!

 

[Boris ze Spider]

Interesting read, Russia is scary, as u have pointed out.

 

[I-15]

Hey guys thanks for the comments,

Sweden had bad luck in game no crash but horrible luck.

Next update soooon.