Going OT for a bit....
Any of you folks ever been to Ft. Lenard Wood, Mo?
It used to be called "The US Army Engineer Center, and FLW", but that was way back in my day. FLW was my last duty station before I got out of the army, and I have to admit to having a good time at some of the training sites. My old unit, HQ 132nd Engineer Bde, was often tasked to provide drivers to support the training of 12B's and 12C's (I don't remember which is which anymore, but one is combat engineer and the other, bridging engineer). IIRC, the three sites we used were TA 250, TA 4, and TA 11.
Training Area 250 was where the float ribbon bridges were assembled, and TA 11 was where the 'dry gorge' bridging was taught (forget what this was called back then, think Bailey or MGB), while TA 4 is where we got to teach the noobs how to inspect their vehicles, and then how to drive them.:rofl:
I remember this one time at TA 4, while acting as a TC for the M113's APC (or Armored Personnel Carrier), I had these two trainees that couldn't drive worth a Sh!t. The one guy hit three or four trees on the course
before we got to the woods. I made him stop, and change places with the other guy, thinking, he cannot be as bad as the first one!
So we get going again, and I scream to the guy driving: "Now, up ahead, where we can see the trail enter the woods, there is going to be this really big tree to the right. Just before you get to this tree, you'll want to take a hard left." The guy nods his head, and away we go. When we get to the left turn, the idiot makes a hard RIGHT straight into the tree.
This tree was a real monster, and was almost as wide as the track. Now normally, the TC sits on his seat in the center hatch, with his seat belt fastened, but for training purposes you have to be able to see the drivers hands on the controls, and for that you need to be standing upright.
When this guy plays kamikaze with the tree, I get folded in two at the waist as the radiator comes flying up to smack me in the face. When I look at the guy driving, he is missing part of his tooth and has a bloody nose. He yells to me "How do I stop this thing?", and I realise that in his panic, he is attempting to stop the track by pressing down on the only pedal on the floor! At this point, I realise that the track is starting to try to climb the tree (meaning that, without being able to move forward, the turning of the tracks is causing the front of the track to rise up in the air). So I yell back to the guy over the roaring of the engine: "Well, first you take your foot of the D@mn GAS pedal,:rofl: and then pull both sticks all the way to the back, and press the buttons on top down!" "Got it?" At this point, the guy realises once again that the breaks are on the sticks, and not on the floor, and nods when he has done as instructed. So I say, "Good, now get your @ss out of the drivers seat, as your finished two"
I ended up driving the track the rest of the course, as I didn't want to hurt anymore poor, innocent trees that day. I got a lot of good natured ribbing from my fellow troops, what with a nice little crisscross pattern embedded in the right side of my face.:wacko:
Sorry for the rant, but hope you all enjoyed that.
