Eagerly awaiting for reports, how did it all go?
None of you probably want to know but I'll tell how it went with my car anyway since I'm bored here
So the battery was completely dead, nothing happening. This was due to the cold outside (varying between -25 and -20 for a couple of days now), and the fact that my car is from central Europe, with a weakish original battery.
What made the mission critical was that I have a service time cheduled for the car tomorrow. If I could not make it, I would have to wait a couple of more weeks for another time, which I really wanted to avoid.
Off I went to lend some cables for a jump start (I'll just call this plan A in later referrals), driving my gf's car which, despite of being french, had no problems with the cold. Got the cables, back to the house, connected cables ...
.. didn't work. The battery was too deeply frozen, despite furious attempts it just didn't work.
Plan B. Towing. This was more easily said than done. Connected the towing cables, but since our house is on a hill, and the layout of the road and relative positions of the cars, towing had to be started uphill. Which, on the icy ground, proved impossible. Too little friction under the tires.
Plan C: Pushing the car backwards downhill (there was no space to turn it around), to a flatter surface, where it can be towed. Now does this sound like a bad idea to anybody? If yes, probably because it is. The problem was that the way to the house makes a rather large curve, so the possibilities of a serious blunder were high indeed. But we decided to try.
We got the car moving, I jumped in to steer, started well, then it got slightly stuck in the snow bank. So I go get a shovel and start some serious shoveling. I turn the wheels to a good position, my gf jumps to steer. The plan is that I push the car loose, and when we get it out of the snow bank my gf steps on the brake and we plan the next move.
I push real hard and the car starts moving again. Only problem, my gf totally panics, turns the streering wheel a bit the wrong way and misses the brakes altogether. The car glides down some 8 meters and ends up in the big curve, totally stuck in a snow bank. the position of the car is now such that no cars can get past it from the road to the house or other way around. It is also such a position that we would need at least 5 full-grown men to push it uphill far enough to correct that small steering mistake and continue. A bit hard to recruit in a late sunday evening. It seemed unlikely that even a towing service could be able to get it out, purely because there was no way the tow truck could get past the car to pull it.
At this point I was feeling slightly annoyed.
So plan D. This was actually plan A again. We drove gf's car right above mine, and tried again with the cables. Didn't work now either. The annoyance was slowly changing into a more worried feeling. What if there was no way out of this, and we would starve in the house unable to leave it?
Then I noticed that I could actually get enough power from the gf's car battery with the cables to start the Webasto (this is a fuel-based additional engine heater) on my car. So I left the cables connected, my gf's cars engine running and the Webasto could keep on running. After 15 minutes, the engine and battery might be warm enough to manage start on the weak current from gf's car battery. This was, I guess, plan E.
Meanwhile I also called a friend of mine with more knowledge of these things. We drafted up plan F in case plan E wouldn't work. That plan would be getting some tools, removing the battery, bringing it inside to melt and after a few hours, retry plan A.
But to my astonishment, plan E worked! After 15 minutes of heating with the Webasto, the engine was warm enough to start. I drove the car straight to the garage.
General Winter had yielded under my stab hits, victory was mine!