SUENIK THE BELEAGUERED
CHAPTER 72 - BOGOWHAT?
(1174-1175)
Hi everyone. I'll be with you in just a minute; there's some pretty important negotiations taking place at the moment.
It's surprising what you can accomplish with a full treasury. For some reason, my ancestors chose NOT to tax their vassals! Can you imagine that? What were they thinking!
However, I'm not so desperate for the love of my vassals, so now the coffers are literally brimming with lovely, lovely gold.
And it's amazing how much people want to be in your gang when you start handing out this lovely, lovely gold.
Who says conquest is the only way to gain new territory, eh?
Oh, and some of you might be a bit puzzled by the last of my new vassals. I found a note from my grandfather the simply read "unite Nubia!" It was underlined in red a couple of times so I think it must have been important.
A bit of sad news now:
I'm not quite sure who this guy was. I *think* he was one of the many psychopaths that my father chose to surround himself with. Something about a wife throwing herself from a castle wall springs to mind but I can't remember the specifics.
My father had some scary friends.
Hell, my father was scary...
Anyway, back to my grand plan...
This is 10% of what he's received so far...
And I think this is the second Toros I've posted his way.
The end result? That the Prince of Novogorod is feeling pretty much like I'm the bested person in the whole world.
It's not limited to him though; some of my current vassals think that I'm doing a pretty good job.
See? Proof that you don't need to terrify your subjects to keep them loyal. A time of peace and prosperity for all is good for everyone.
Take that detractors!
Still, without random and continual warfare to distract my more savage courtiers you end with situations like this:
I tell them to knock themselves out (literally). If activity like this ends up culling the violent psychopaths from my realm so much the better!
Speaking of violent idiots vanishing, it seems that my unwillingness to commit to a policy of genocide has upset cousin Mushel, who swans off somewhere more suited to his bloodthirsty ways...
Yeah. A county with a great big flower as its symbol. Very manly! Get you, Mr Alpha Male...
So, everything's pretty good. The months roll by, the coffers fill up, I host parties, shower people with gold and end up becoming the most popular person in the known world.
Yup.
I know what you're thinking.
This is Suenik.
Something bad is going to happen.
Well, not this time!
Everything really is good!
Everyone really is happy!
There are absolutely NO nutters waiting in the wings to spoil everything!
Nah - only kidding. No sooner had I convinced myself that everything is alright than these blasted Gnostics show up, preaching their own particular brand of heresy! It seems that the Emperor of Byzantium had enough of them, so he kicked them out.
Over here.
Thanks mate - I'll remember that.
(before any of you get too excited I DON'T have a List)
Oh, and to make matters worse (but to make matters typically Suenik) they choose, out of all my provinces, to set up in the capital.
That'll go down well with the Patriarch...
And just to make sure that things are properly Suenikian it seems that these heretics, with their vision of Gnostic craziness, have made the good people of the capital more productive.
Mind you, that's not saying a lot - this is Suenik after all and they're still idle so and sos - but it still has my banging my head against my castle wall in frustration.
To make me feel better I take a leaf out of my father's book and hang some villains.
I get an odd rush out of it. That's a dark little feeling I'll be supressing.
Hey - it works for the Catholics!
So, do I send the troops in to deal with the heretics? Do I make the streets of Alania flow with their blood? To I daub a message in their gore on the castle walls as a warning to others who may try to repeat their feat? Do I line the avenues of the capital with their heads?
No - I decide to give the clergy a free reign to try and convert the locals. Stop looking at me like that! I know I hung some thieves previously but I am NOT my father and I'm NOT going to start pandering to the violent wishes I know some of you harbour.
Honestly.
What's Krikor planning for the Prince of Novogorod? Will the Bogomils convert? Will Krikor's time of peace and prosperity continue? Stay tuned for the next exciting episode of Suenik - Land of the Beleaguered!