Chapter Nine - Crusades For The Wrong Religion
The first thing I do is bethrothe my other daughters off to various people; people like the prince of France, king of Georgia (and one day emperor of the Byzantines), prince of Denmark, king of Norway, and the king of Castille. These will give me great allies one day in the future, though right now it's only France I really want as I really want that part of Africa that I lost before.
I decide to buy my wife a falcon as we have the spare money. Also it would be good to try to bridge our relationships again as she no doubt hates me because of that bastard.
Well, to be honest, I've never had more than one bastard per lover. She's kind of given that and I see no reason to keep lying to my spouse about a lover.
It could be worse, I suppose. My other son tries to be ambitious again, however, I put a stop to such nonsense as fast as I can press the "Ambition will not serve you" button.
My wife might be my honor, but a ten percent chance of being wounded? Well, that's what I get for breaking up with a lover, it seems. However, I was not wounded so it all went great in the end! The only count under my vassalage, son of my former spymaster who has died of old age, believes it is wrong to be as Brave as I am. Damn negative relations hit I cannot control!
A farmer complains about something, I like Justice and such so I demand he is paid. And for once, the man in question agrees with me!
Wow. My second son really, really wants traits that will not help him later in life.
Oh what the hell. Well, time to go to war... again.
Truces? Where I'm going, I don't need truces. I could also call in King Fish (okay, Salamon is just one letter away from Salmon or Solomon, but rule of bad puns), however him being Hungarian... he has no ships and would have to walk all the way to Africa. Doesn't sound like a good idea at all.
No, I don't think so, random count. Who am I kidding... he's the only count. He kind of hates me for holding one too many duchies and for holding the duchy he wants. I don't necessarily want to make him mad if I can help it, even though I do want that county of his.
It is time to realize my son's ambition of being a second born son. Well, it's my ambition for him. Whatever.
Hooray, we're friends! Also France won their holy war, big surprise.
All that beautiful, sexy la- Oh goodness, Genoa is friggin' huge. Man, we complain about the Big Bleu Blob, but it's the Pretentious Pink Power that's going to be a major thorn in my side one day. I divide my new lands up between three random courtiers and a holy man I invited to my land. Out of the four... the holy man will one day get the duchy, whenever it is I make it.
My daughter is temperate and also the Shiite Jihad has been called off. Should've gone for Greece, Caliph, you guys never lose that one for some reason. Then again, you normally win it if the Seljuks win their Invasion... eh, I'm sure they'll get lucky one day.
I was so happy because I thought the Crusades were upon us... as it turns out, it's an Orthodox Crusade. Forgot I enabled them to do that... dammit.
Deceitful, Strong, and Patient? She's going places in Norway! Kind of. I also gave the newly made duchy away... except it turns out all of them are old, the men and the women (except the new holy man). None of them will likely have children, which sucks.
The faster I kill him and regain that county and duchy, the faster I can install a man and woman (or at least a man) who will undoubtably produce children.
It worked! Also my second son has a son, how nice. My first born also has children... however, them being in a foreign country, they will most likely turn Frankish. Which means I cannot make Croatian things until the time that my grandson's son is Croatian for sure.
FINALLY a claim! And here I was worrying over nothing... let's do it, let's press this claim right meow. I mean now.
Or... we wait until I have a positive balance, that's always good too.
The world at large... I don't think there will be a Catholic Crusade this time around, just a gut feeling.