Son-in-laws not sticking to the agreement I made with them to marry my daughters

[Walter Raleigh]

Due to expansion, I'd run out of close adult dynasty members to rule over my new conquests. I had a couple of spare daughters, though - still girls - and so I decided to matrilineally betrothe them to a couple of low-ranked young men of my culture who'd just reached adulthood. I then gave these two future son-in-laws a county each to rule over and call their own.

A few years later, the two girls (twins) reached adulthood and they were ready for their big day.

However, my two son-in-laws (one of whom I'd promoted from House Lowborn) both refused to go through with the deal!

Now, I'm going to cheat and force these two b******* to marry my daughters.

I'm guessing it's an automatic refusal due to their ennobled status. It would be nice if it could be worked into the game's narrative somehow and an event would fire along the lines of me telling them that if they don't marry my goddang daughters then I'm going to come over there with my army, strip them of their titles and throw them in the oubliette.

 

[Ivir Baggins]

Your mistake is that you landed them. Never land people before you marry them.

 

[Maeldun]

I then gave these two future son-in-laws a county each to rule over and call their own.

A few years later, the two girls (twins) reached adulthood and they were ready for their big day.

However, my two son-in-laws (one of whom I'd promoted from House Lowborn) both refused to go through with the deal!

You gave them landed titles and expected them to go through with matrilineal betrothals that would give them a GAME OVER upon death? You wouldn't do that, would you? All landed characters try to keep their dynasties alive.

Next time, keep them in your court where they're bound by your will until they marry, then give them land.

 

[Walter Raleigh]

Yeah, but these guys were nobodies, one lowborn and the other not of a Great House. They were never going to rule anything in their lives without my benefaction. I gave them the opportunity become nobility - counts no less - in return for marrying the daughters of their king. That was the deal. If they didn't want to do the the deal, they shouldn't have accepted (and they were adults at the time of the decision).

I'm sure similar deals must have taken place somewhere in the mists of time.

More generally, on betrothals and giving titles. I frequently betrothe male children of my dynasty to someone and (after the acceptance of the request goes through) give them a title. I think they've always gone through with the marriage arrangement upon reaching adulthood.

 

[Maeldun]

Yeah, but these guys were nobodies, one lowborn and the other not of a Great House. They were never going to rule anything in their lives without my benefaction. I gave them the opportunity become nobility - counts no less - in return for marrying the daughters of their king.

They stopped being nobodies when you turned them into landed nobles. There's no way to secure the kind of binding agreement you're expecting in the standard game, which is why you need to keep them in your court until they are wed. Landed nobles will seek to preserve their dynasty - it's what this game is about. The only exception I've seen is with female rulers who can't say "no" to the prestige/potential alliance of marrying the relative of a much higher rank ruler.

 

[Walter Raleigh]

I know it's built in to the game, but I'm saying that in these circumstances there should be a special rule built into the mechanics.

Compare with other matrilineal marriages. You can have a close relative of a king from a more prestigious House marrying someone from a lower House. In these circumstances the husband-to-be is facing the following penalties:

- no longer lives in his homeland
- is the spouse of a ruler, not the ruler
- can be marrying into a less prestigious House
- now has a foreign ruler as his liege
- his children are no longer of his dynasty
- his children are no longer of his culture

Now compare with the circumstances I described above of making local courtiers the husbands of royal daughters:

- still lives in his homeland
- is now a ruler instead of a peasant
- is marrying into a prestigious House
- same liege
- his children are still of his culture

In this example, the husband is given a rags-to-riches story, for him and his children, for the mere price of using his wife's surname.

So I would make the mechanism I describe possible in these circumstances:

- husband-to-be is a courtier in your court
- the title that the husband receives is given by you, the ruler