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    Real Strategy Requires Cunning

NapoleonComple

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Now that's more like it! Incompetence all true Sokotans... Sokotites... Sokittens?... never mind, incompetence we can all be proud of!

Now all you need to do is declare war on Nepal, a country that your soldiers can only reach via an invention which has yet to be invented.
 

unmerged(539438)

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Yeah, let's blame Venezuela for poisoning - I mean for providing the world with vuvuzela :rofl:
 
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Fyregecko

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I'm horribly behind, but had an excellent evening catching up on your last few masterworks. Truly has history never witnessed such an empire as the Sokot one.

The casualties from friendly fire are a cause for concern - clearly the new artillery officers need to be taught to drop their aim, but they will learn, and their enthusiasm for metal-glass-wood hybrid cannons is to be encouraged.

With the discovery of rubber vulcanisation leading to a great growth in 'wood' within Sokoto, this courtesy of rubber catsuits and bondage outfits instantly becoming far more common within the Empire, there is relief that mechanical saws have been developed to deal with said growth in 'wood'.
The development of rubber vulcanisation is an essential advancement of any society - perhaps the Guards will be opening up a special mixed catsuited division? Their contributions to the armed forces would greatly enhance the Imperial font and enhance The Party's prestige!

Keep going, hardy Sokots, endure the horros of sieges and advance! Hoping that you reach Russia before the game's end if only to see what you do the remnants of the Tverian Empire!

Terrific to see your mighty pen back in hand, and looking forward to more thunderous tales of glory, freedom, progress, magnification...did I mention freedom?
 

NapoleonComple

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A Sokot invasion of Russia during winter. (shivers)
 
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IAmBecomeDeath

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I must say, the inspiring incompetence displayed in this AAR has caused me to reevaluate those areas in my life in which I still felt slightly competent. Now I feel like a much more incompetent person! All thanks to you, morningSIDEr! :D

Wouldn't the world be a much better place if we all did our part to be a little more incompetent? ;) In all seriousness, I adore this AAR, it's absolutely hysterical. Keep up the great work!
 

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The real shock of this AAR is not that humble and peaceful Sokoto has managed to humble the mighty Britannia, but that Prussia has been able to get away with colonising Africa for so long. May fuchsia banners fly over Berlin!
 

morningSIDEr

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Thank you profusely for the replies!

spiller68 - A great many thanks for the kind words (your bribe is en route!).

NapoleonComple - A most excellent idea to show the world Sokot incompetence! Although of course Sokoto would be able to reach Nepal without the aid of the airplane, all nations more than happy to grant military access to so friendly and peaceful a nation!

Stiefler - Indeed, how dare they! The vuvuzela is nearly as bad as the bagpipes.

Fyregecko - Many thanks for the kind words (another bribe is on the way!). I think Sokoto's artillerymen could do with a few lessons from one as skilled in making attacks to the 'rear' of friendly troops as Dobczyński, his aim never failing to hit the mark! I do greatly like the idea of some catsuit guards units, Sokoto's glorious green and pink able to carry off such an outfit quite brilliantly.

As for the mighty nation of Russtver, she and Sokoto are becoming ever closer, quite literally. Russia busy colonising lands in Africa, following in the Rurikovich tradition of bringing Tverian enlightenment to far-flung lands!

NapoleonComple - Thankfully the cold of mainland Russia is becoming less of an issue, as Russia has kindly brought her border to the warm climes of Africa!

IAmBecomeDeath - Thank you profusely for the kind words (a bribe is on the way!). How right you are too; incompetence is ever the answer to a happier life!

Tanzhang (譚張) - Exactly so! The perfidious Prussia has recently formed the North German Federation in a desperate bid to cover up their entirely unjustified colonisation of Africa, but Sokoto is easily able to see through such dishonourable subterfuge. Prussia will soon be punished! But first her neighbour need be dealt with, as this update will show.
 

morningSIDEr

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Chapter Thirty Seven - The Hills are Alive with the Sound of Gunfire

As war continues with Italy the government is given some most unwelcome news from the cartographers who report that they have recently added some new font to the map. Usually such news would be cause for celebration of course, but sadly in this case the font is not Sokot.


Instead it belongs to both the newly formed North German Federation and Russia respectively, both nations having established considerable colonial holdings in Africa. Such colonisation entirely unacceptable, as both nations are bringing the dreadful effects of horrible map colour and democratic, socially inclusive, competent governance to Africa. This unwarranted colonisation clearly despicable, the government vow to make both nations regret their unjustified expansion at the earliest opportunity.

With this in mind the government quickly order the colonisation of Zambezi. Sokoto's colonisation of Africa entirely justified in comparison to the North German Federation and Russia, as Sokoto is bringing the great benefits of a wonderfully attractive map colour and corruption, backbreaking labour and incompetent rule to the land.

A couple of weeks later and the government is given yet further bad news from the cartographers.


Sokoto sadly not gaining any new font following peace with Italy. Happily though she has gained a new neighbour, Austria providing a warm welcome to Sokoto by massing heavily armed soldiers at the newly formed border between both nations. Naturally the government are delighted with so warm and friendly a welcome, it clear that Sokoto's reputation as a peaceful nation precedes her.

With Sokoto now at peace for the first time in years the government cannot help but think they have forgotten about something.


Oh.

It now eight months since Sokoto ended her war with the Netherlands, these troops were of course not simply abandoned in hostile territory, forgotten about by the army. No, the army, uhm, purposefully left them there following their astonishingly poor showing during the war. The army wishing for them to suffer from attrition whilst stationed in the Netherlands so as to toughen them up and make them more receptive to suffering casualties. Weakening an army ever the best way to strengthen it.

[Uh, yes, I intentionally left this large force in the Netherlands following the end of the war so as to toughen them up. It was not that I simply forgot about them. Certainly not. *cough*]

Whilst Sokoto's attrition ravaged forces begin returning from the Netherlands the government is informed of a worrying domestic situation a month later.


The government, after considering the plight of the hard worked, underpaid, malnourished workers attempting to make their difficult lives a little bit more bearable through gaining some improvements in their working conditions via creation of a union, quickly side with the wealthy capitalists. It quite clear that the whining peasant oiks already enjoy wonderful working conditions, the work merely requiring backbreaking, dangerous labour, they have no right to attempt to create a union.

As the army is sent in to 'persuade' the workers to stop their foolishness in daring to attempt to make use of their legal right to form a union, the government is given some pleasing news.


The changes made to schooling a year ago proving remarkably successful, Sokot education is no longer proving a divisive issue for minority cultures.

A couple of weeks later, and with Sokot students causing mayhem and promoting rebellion like never before, the government are informed that the troops left in the Netherlands have returned to mainland Sokoto. Said troops inexplicably irked at having been abandoned-uh, intentionally left in hostile territory, the government hurriedly send forth the diplomats. Keen as they are to keep these troops busy in a war with another nation, rather than busy in a rebellion against themselves.


The diplomats return a few days later quivering wrecks. All had been going well, their Austrian counterparts surprisingly gracious about receiving the deceleration of war, until one of the Sokot diplomats remarked that Mozart's skill as a composer nearly matched Kumbari Rumfa's skill as a poet. The Austrian diplomats surprisingly taking so wonderful a compliment about their composer rather poorly.

As Sokot ships hurriedly retreat to harbour, Austria's formidable fleet more than a match for even Sokoto's mighty navy, battle is met all along the narrow border shared by both nations.


In Parma Austria has intelligently given command to Remmele, an officer skilled in defence but utterly useless in attack. Whilst the eleven year old Theodor Wittmann has been appointed to command of the Austrian army in Ferrara. The Austrian force under his command having to cease all fighting at 9pm daily, this the bedtime for their uncommonly young general. And in Modena the workshy shirker, Eisner, is leading the Austrian force. Or rather, a lowly subordinate under his command is leading the force, Eisner feeling it too much work to do so himself.

The Sokot army can only applaud such genius on Austria's part. Her having appointed such highly skilled generals to command of these attacks, each of which is being made over a river into entrenched Sokot positions, clearly a most intelligent move.

Indeed, so skilled are Austria's officers in comparison to the worryingly competent generals Sokoto has appointed to command in these battles, the only crumb of comfort for the army is that Austria's forces do not greatly outnumber Sokoto's. There only one hundred and twenty or so Sokot brigades assigned to this theatre, defeat for Sokoto would be near inevitable were Austria able to call upon more men.


Ah.

This could prove difficult.

[Difficult indeed, as I truly do have only around one hundred and twenty brigades stationed in Northern Italy. I did not expect Austria to be able to call upon such large reserves.]

A couple of months later and the government is given the much dreaded news that Sokoto has eased to victory in these early battles, suffering a pitiful number of casualties in comparison to Austria. Austria's opening attacks having proven as devastatingly successful as feared.


With Kumbari Rumfa having performed particularly poorly in his command of the battle of Parma, he hurriedly writes a new poem in a desperate bid to restore his shattered reputation;

In Northern Italy I fight,
The enemy a most tenacious foe,
It not until long into the night,
That the waiter finally relents and provides some extra gateau.

This but one of many deprivations I must endure,
When fighting bravely for my nation,
All soldiers suffering whilst on tour,
I cannot even find a woman of negotiable affection to relieve my frustration.

Casualties the army suffers without end,
My own dreadful injury suffered miles behind the front,
To a subordinate I courageously delegated command so as to allow my injury time to mend,
A most dreadful paper cut I suffered whilst tallying my latest peasant hunt.

A few days later, and with the public unsurprisingly delighted by Rumfa's epic poetry, this happily helping to gloss over the recent horrendous battle results, the government and army are left hugely worried by reports from the front.


In a clever move Austria is sending recently defeated, exhausted and utterly demoralised forces straight back into battle rather than giving them time to rest. Such a strategy most cunning and bold, it is sure to bring Austria victory soon.

Sadly this proves the case a few months later, Sokoto suffering a horrendous defeat.


Horrendous not so much because the battle was lost, but instead because even when Sokoto is defeated the impressive Austria manage to suffer far more casualties. With Rumfa once again to blame for this shockingly poor showing, he quickly rushes out another poem;

A most dreadful loss,
I couldn't give a toss.

Both the public and the government instantly won over by such excellent poetry, there is nonetheless fear that the war is lost.

Austria stands on the cusp of victory following this battle, as with Sokoto's routed forces horribly outnumbered if Austria but advances into Massa she will likely secure an easy victory thereby shattering Sokoto's defensive line entirely, this allowing her to surround and pick off the remaining Sokot forces in Northern Italy at will. Failing that, if she simply uses her forces in Parma to make a flanking attack on Sokoto's already hard pressed army in Modena, this too will probably bring her a swift victory and lead to the annihilation of Sokoto's forces in the theatre.

Defeat close, the Sokot army nervously wait for Austria to exploit her breakthrough at Parma.


Instead of winning the war in an instant Austria cleverly pulls back her forces in Parma, preferring to leave Sokoto's routed forces in Massa to rest and recuperate, and marches all of her forces east. Said forces suffering attrition in Brescia and Verona as they move eastwards, her army too large for the land to support it, Austria's forces marching to Ferrara in support of her attack upon the entrenched and rested Sokot army there.

Such a move astoundingly brilliant, Austria is proving a most difficult opponent.

Whilst Austria is busy doing her best to lose the war the government is given some interesting news a couple of days later, as they are informed that Crete is now an independent nation. Crete having gained her freedom from the perfidious Prussia during the upheaval caused by Prussia's creation of the North German Federation.


Crete now free, Sokoto sends the diplomats to congratulate her on having achieved independence. The diplomats ship gets no closer than a mile from Crete's coast before it is suddenly fired upon. For some reason Crete is none too eager to receive a visit from Sokoto's diplomats, claiming as she does that they only ever deliver decelerations of war. Such claims clearly ridiculous, the government object strongly to such slander, the ever peaceful Sokoto abhorring war.

A month later and Sokoto enhances her reputation as a peace loving nation as she secures a convincing victory over Austria at Modena.


With Austria wisely having decided against following up her victory at Parma a month before, when Sokoto's forces were in disarray and victory was thus easily achievable, in favour of instead marching her troops to the battle of Ferrara, where they are now toiling against a strong Sokot force, Austria has left a large gap in her own lines which Sokoto has been able to easily exploit. This leading to the encirclement and destruction of Austria's forces in Modena, Austria's army in Ferrara about to be surrounded as well.

A few weeks later and over one hundred and fifty Austrian brigades surrender as Sokoto emerges victorious at Ferrara.


In having not only passed up a wonderful chance to secure victory in this war following the battle of Parma, but in also having assured her own defeat by leaving a gaping hole in her lines, too many of Austria's troops bogged down in Ferrara for her to stop Sokoto from encircling her position, Austria truly has shown astonishing brilliance in having so impressively snatched defeat from the jaws of victory.

Sokoto can only salute such an awe-inspiring performance, the many casualties Austria has suffered thus far simply more proof that she is a most gifted and worthy foe, Austria's eventual victory in this war seems a foregone conclusion.
 
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loki100

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well I guess that display of military genius means the half-time score is Rumfa 1 Mozart 0, but who knows if they can maintain those high standards into the second half?
 

NapoleonComple

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That was hilarious, especially the massive number of brigades left abandoned in the horrible, hideous wasteland of Holland! :laugh:

The Austrians seem to be following the Zap Brannigan approach to warfare; judging that the Sokots have a pre-set kill limit before they curl into a catatonic PTSD-wracked ball and become easy targets, they have resolved to throw wave after wave of their own men at the Sokot army.

...unfortunately Sokot soldiers are immune to trauma. They do, after all, live in Sokoto.
 

Fyregecko

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Chapter Thirty Seven - The Hills are Alive with the Sound of Gunfire


Sokoto sadly not gaining any new font following peace with Italy. Happily though she has gained a new neighbour, Austria providing a warm welcome to Sokoto by massing heavily armed soldiers at the newly formed border between both nations. Naturally the government are delighted with so warm and friendly a welcome, it clear that Sokoto's reputation as a peaceful nation precedes her.
Sokoto's fame is renowned throughout the civilised world, and most of the uncivilised (you're working on that). And the Austrian troops massed on your new border is hilarious - for once the game is providing the comedy too!

Lack of casualties is a huge convern, of course, but these are the difficulties faced by the brilliant leaders of the Conservative Party, men born and bred for such time of challenge! With outstanding government, incompetent generals and unrivalled poetry, Sokoto shall continue to advance!

By the way, in game terms, I assume that there's nobody left who can give you any real trouble? (Austria's tactical genii aside). Does Victoria have EUIII-like revolts risks, potential country splinters etc?
 

unmerged(95506)

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The tales of Sokoto have been continued and I missed it for three weeks. Shocking!

Crete having gained her freedom from the perfidious Prussia during the upheaval caused by Prussia's creation of the North German Federation. The diplomats ship gets no closer than a mile from Crete's coast before it is suddenly fired upon. For some reason Crete is none too eager to receive a visit from Sokoto's diplomats, claiming as she does that they only ever deliver decelerations of war.
Apparently propaganda of the Germans, who are ashamed of their tiny font in "North German Africa", still pollutes their minds. Maybe Sokoto will see to it that the obviously easily manipulated inhabitants of Crete will get under the influence of the most prestigious green banner.
 

TheArchMede

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Sokoto's fame is renowned throughout the civilised world, and most of the uncivilised (you're working on that). And the Austrian troops massed on your new border is hilarious - for once the game is providing the comedy too!

Lack of casualties is a huge convern, of course, but these are the difficulties faced by the brilliant leaders of the Conservative Party, men born and bred for such time of challenge! With outstanding government, incompetent generals and unrivalled poetry, Sokoto shall continue to advance!

By the way, in game terms, I assume that there's nobody left who can give you any real trouble? (Austria's tactical genii aside). Does Victoria have EUIII-like revolts risks, potential country splinters etc?
You can cause your country to splinter to rebels, if you really want to. If you don't, it will never happen. It can quite easily happen to an AI that you beat up though.

The rebels have all the tactical genius displayed by the Austrian AI above, combined with no tech bonuses. Its possible in some patches to get your entire army to rebel without actively seeking to cause that to happen, and find yourself with the only armed forces in your country are rebels, but by and large rebellions are dealt with by means that make Chemical Ali look like a paragon of human rights. If you want to play a game in which a democratic government gasses and machine guns millions of its own citizens with impunity every year, Victoria is the game for you.

Rebels are hard to prevent entirely, usually occur in large numbers in the second half of the game, (so that at least some AIs will succumb to Communists) and are very easy to slaughter provided you don't completely ignore military tech.
 

morningSIDEr

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Thank you profusely for the replies!

loki100 - Alas due to Austria's shocking duplicity, the game was nearly called off entirely!

NapoleonComple - Thank you for the kind words (another bribe is en route!). How right you are! A Sokot soldier suffers more in the classrooms of Sokoto as a pupil than he could possibly suffer on the battlefield.

Fyregecko - It's funny you mentioned revolts...

The Arch Mede has kindly provided a masterly description of the rebellion mechanics in V2, which you are about to see in action.

As for remaining nations which could prove troublesome, I've often found America and Russia two of the toughest foes in the game. If America is not attacked early on she ends up with massive manpower due to immigration, giving her a formidably large and technologically advanced army. And Russia ever remains a threat thanks to her great military strength provided by the foundations laid for her by Tver. A westernised China is a rather worrisome prospect too!

Zvetiki - Alas the despicable Germany has already brought Cyprus under their dreaded rule, Sokoto will bring liberation to the oppressed people of Crete as quickly as possible however!

The Arch Mede - An excellent summary of rebel mechanics in V2, and how glad I was to be able to read over this following the events in this update.

Xenophon13 - Quite so! Strangely enough I do often notice Russia colonising the small islands lying to the south of Madagascar at the very start of most of my V2 games, this allowing them to later colonise more of Africa. Naturally though Sokoto welcomes such colonisation, Russia one of her greatest allies.
 
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morningSIDEr

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Chapter Thirty Eight - Austria is a Budapest

As Sokoto continues to make good progress in her war with Austria, Austria's stupendous strategy of throwing forward demoralised, recently routed, horribly outnumbered forces at easily defended Sokot positions surprisingly having been found wanting, the government are given some shocking news following Sokoto's most recent victory at Trent.


With most of her army now defeated the insidious Austria has decided to engage in the horrifically underhanded tactic of assuming a new identity, having become Austria-Hungary in a desperate bid to end her war with Sokoto. The 'new' state of Austria-Hungary instantly demands a cessation of all hostilities between herself and Sokoto, claiming as she does that Sokoto's quarrel was with Austria, not herself.

Naturally the government are not hoodwinked by so obvious a ruse. Ludicrous rumours that the government sent eight diplomatic delegations to Austria-Hungary begging her for forgiveness for having attacked the wrong target, Austria the nefarious nation Sokoto had meant to war with, are clearly slanderous lies. Ten delegations were sent.

Whilst the war with Austria-Hungary continues, the diplomatic delegations sadly proving unsuccessful as Sokoto's diplomats found it impossible to locate Austria-Hungary, they somehow ever ending up in Austria instead, research of 'Iron Steamers' comes to an end a few days later.


With a Sokot fleet having sunk in record time following the installation of the heavy iron panels used to make ships iron steamers, the ships quite unable to bear such weight, the navy declares itself delighted with the research.

The academics next begin studying 'Military Plans' at the request of the army. With Sokoto's armed forces continuing to perform appallingly in battle, nowhere near enough casualties being suffered, the academics are researching promising new military plans such as equipping all troops with dud ammo, and issuing uniforms in enemy colours to a lucky few chosen brigades during war, in a bid to tackle this troubling issue.

Alongside strengthening the navy immeasurably, research of 'Iron Steamers' also allows for Sokoto to finally finish construction of the Suez Canal.


This impressive construction project having taken years, the expense great, the government have found themselves without the money to pay all of the building companies employed to create the canal. Sadly with Sokoto's poor already taxed to the hilt, they can be robbed of no further cash. With the enraged building companies demanding payment, the government thus respond simply by stating, 'Sue-uz'.

A couple of weeks later and the government is left irked following a report from Austria-Hungary where rebellion has broken out, the rebels hindering Sokoto's occupation of the country.


With Austria-Hungary's new name having made her font size noticeably smaller, if slightly lengthened, her citizens have understandably risen in revolt.

Whilst irked that this uprising is hampering Sokoto's occupation of Austria-Hungary, the government is nonetheless amused by the Austria-Hungarian government's inability to control her people. Succumbing to rebellion ever the sign of a government in great trouble, such anarchy is the ultimate humiliation for a nation and her rulers. Austria-Hungary's leaders should thus feel deep shame in proving unable to keep their population happy in the face of trifling concerns such as devastating defeat in war, their rule utterly inept, rebellion is ever avoidable.


Then again even the most brilliant and able of governments can suffer rebellions.

As the government praise Sokoto's Secret Police for their fantastic work in having somehow uncovered a rebellion of over two million people after it was launched, the cause of this rebellion quickly becomes clear.


It quite inconceivable that Sokoto's citizens would rise in revolt against their current wonderful government which enforces high taxes, engages in non-stop warfare and supports corruption and cronyism, these so-called 'Sokot' anarcho-liberal rebels are clearly instead French anarcho-liberals who have slipped over the border.

Whilst the government complains to France about their poor border control, they are given some rather more welcome news two months later as they are informed that Sokot mines are becoming mechanised following the recent invention of machine tools, which will provide Sokoto with a plentiful supply of ore.


The Prime Minister slightly misreading the report, his initial interest in such mechanisation quickly wanes once he is told that it will provide a plentiful supply of ore, rather than a plentiful supply of whores as he had originally hoped.

A couple of months later and the government is given worrying news from Tripoli, where the peasantry have risen in Sokoto's defence in opposition to local nobles who were planning to rebel against Sokot rule.


Naturally such insolence does not go unpunished, the government quick to order the imprisonment of all serfs who dared attack the nobles. It quite unacceptable for mere peasants to assault Sokot gentry, even if said gentry are considering rebellion.

As the army is busy imprisoning peasants who dared to show loyalty to Sokoto, there is news of a shocking reverse in Massawa a month later.


Sadly Abdullah Kabe's rifle, cannon and cavalry equipped force was no match for this pitchfork wielding rebel army.

Whilst Sokoto's large, experienced and well-equipped army continues to struggle to defeat this uprising of farm tool armed peasants, research of 'Military Plans' comes to an end over a month later.


The army is delighted with how successful the new plans are proving. With nearly every soldier within the army having volunteered to wear enemy uniforms, most troops inexplicably preferring said enemy uniforms to Sokoto's highly fashionable pink and green uniforms, this has happily led to a huge increase in casualties suffered, this despite friendly fire casualty rates having plummeted. Said regrettable drop in friendly fire rates caused by the provision of useless ammo to every soldier, the rise in friendly clubbing rates has thankfully more than compensated for this. As without ammo many soldiers have been forced to wield their rifles as clubs.

With Sokoto still experiencing slight rebel trouble, and with the number of potential rebels surprisingly continuing to rise despite the government having raised taxes and increased forced enlistment, the academics next begin research of 'Revolution and Counterrevolution'. The government hopeful that such research will provide a solution to this minor problem.

A few weeks later and peace with Austria-Hungary is agreed. This past year has been tumultuous one for Sokoto as her army has been humbled by Austria-Hungary's and she has suffered rebellion. Finally though she will be rewarded for her troubles, the government having chosen the territory they wish to acquire from Austria-Hungary with care so as to maximise the chance of Sokoto securing some new font. The sacrifices and hardship suffered by Sokoto throughout the last year will thus be made worthwhile as at long last 'Sokot Europe' is displayed proudly on the map following this peace deal.


...

As the cartographers hurriedly flee the nation, the government ever so slightly vexed following their latest poor showing, the government is at least able to console themselves with the knowledge that the rebellion has largely been dealt with, there only a few small pockets of resistance left.


Most of Ethiopia clearly constituting a mere small pocket of resistance.

Thus with the rebellion now under control the government decide to further unite the fractured Empire by beginning a new war. The citizens of the Empire sure to rally in support of Sokoto against a new foe, the diplomats are sent forth.


They return a few weeks later rather bruised. Said bruises caused after their Spanish hosts held la tomatina, a festival in which the participants throw tomatoes at one and other for fun, in their honour following delivery of the deceleration of war. In what is clearly a regrettable accident, the tomatoes used to pelt the diplomats were sadly of the tinned variety.

The government is left baffled two weeks later as they are informed of a disturbance in Sokot Spain.


Their ploy to rally the populace to the support of Sokoto via beginning a new war having inexplicably failed, quite what is actually angering the Spanish citizens living within the Empire remains a mystery.

Despite this the government remain sure that their plan will work, war ever the best way to bring people together due to the enlistment, casualties and high taxes it brings, the diplomats are sent forth once again.


They return a few days later looking quite terrified. Knowing of Switzerland's reputation as an expert in the field of clock making, the diplomats brought with them a gift to present to their Swiss counterparts alongside the deceleration of war. Sadly due to a small error on the diplomats part their Swiss hosts were none too pleased when presented with the gift, a cockoo clock.[1]

The government is left terrified a couple of months later following reports from rebel held Cape Verde


The rebels having achieved the impossible, they are now wielding even more devastatingly lethal weapons than deadly farm tools, having equipped themselves with spears and shields. Against such brilliant weaponry Sokoto's forces have little chance of victory.
____________________________________

[1] By 'cock' I of course mean a male chicken. Shame on everyone who thought it referred to something vulgar!
 
Last edited:

LordTempest

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I can't see the "Sokot Europe" font anywhere, and why haven't Sokoto invaded the NGF yet?
 

loki100

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well I think this is winner in the bad pun award:

by stating, 'Sue-uz'.
very sneaky of Austria to try and hide under a new name and thus escape your legitimate search for a decent new font ... & quite right that those treacherous cartographers even now are putting to sea in a special iron weighted canoe.

that foreign inspired rebellion looked rather bad, but when it comes to the slaughter of your own citizens I am sure that Sokot is up to the mighty task now before it
 

NapoleonComple

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I can't see the "Sokot Europe" font anywhere, and why haven't Sokoto invaded the NGF yet?
That was the joke; the font generator somehow managed to not fit that onto the new conquests.

"Ten delegations were sent" :laugh:

What Sokoto needs is a long, pointless war overseas. Somewhere that will never expect it. Sweden, maybe?