- Mar 31, 2008
1850 to 1860 - An Overview
As another ten incompetence filled years draw to a close here is an overview of Sokoto as she enters the new decade.
Sokoto now sits proudly ranked as the fifth strongest power in the world, her pink clad troops having transformed her into a civilised Great Power in the last decade.
A fact which clearly worries the rest of the international community as they are currently pretending Austria is instead the fifth ranked power despite her lesser score.
With many nations unable to match Sokoto's high prestige, her fashionably dressed armies having won Sokoto much glory, jealously is evidently the reason for this underhanded cheating in the rankings.
[Also note Persia is listed as belonging within my sphere. This is rather vexing as it means I am unable to nab anymore lands from her for the time being, hopefully someone takes her from my sphere soon. What makes it all the more vexing is that I am quite sure I never added her to my sphere, thus how this happened I have no idea. Well, I'm reasonably certain I didn't add her. Slightly certain. Ish.]
Sokoto's population has near doubled over the last decade.
This a result of conquest, the continued attraction of a pink uniform to women and the widespread use of romantic Sokot poetry, such as the famed 'Let me besiege your heart for 792 nights' and 'Shall I compare thee to a moderately attractive flower?', keeping birth rates high.
Despite having produced the gifted General Kanajeji Abasama, the Sokoto army has remained true to the long established policy of attempting to recruit only the most useless of officers. Bumbling incompetence having long been proven to be a losing strategy. Uh, a winning strategy that is.
The impressively useless Baba Rumfa the most recent officer to join the army after a hugely excited recruiting officer was told Rumfa was a 'man sucker'. Even after this slight mistake was rectified, the recruiting officer remained surprisingly happy at having recruited someone who sucks manfully. With such officers the Sokoto army remains a much laughed at force. That is, with such officers the Sokoto army remains a much dreaded force.
The political landscape within Sokoto has changed considerably over the last decade as ever greater numbers of both the population and the Upper House become increasingly liberal.
Alongside this the government have passed a raft of political reforms as they continue their drive towards greater freedom and democracy within Sokoto. The government striving towards these noble goals out of a selfless desire to bring about a change for good. It remains entirely untrue that said reforms have actually been passed solely to save the government from revolution.
Sokoto's economy is booming due to her conquest of rich lands, the unsurprising continued popularity of her mud based wine and her continued lucrative lending to former foes such as the Ottomans.
However with high spending in defence, education and administration there is considerable worry from many of the public that this money is being wasted. This because many of the public feel youngsters these days are being mollycoddled with actual teachers, textbooks, army uniforms and weapons being paid for with the cash. They wish for a return to the good, old days when young Sokot children had to educate themselves with whatever came to hand, this most usually a couple of twigs and some mud, and young Sokot adults would have to head off to war wearing nothing more than a large sack for a uniform, whilst wielding a rusty farm tool as a weapon.
In news which gives hope for the many conquered by Sokoto her primary culture of Hausa remains a distinct minority within the nation.
It thus remaining a much wished for possibility within Sokoto that the incompetent Hausa may be replaced by one of the many more numerous nationalities at some point in the future.
Due to Sokoto's excellent education system, from which almost 1% of students now pass exams in basic reading, writing and numeracy, Sokoto has made considerable technological progress over the last decade.
Literacy now at an astonishingly high 14.6% as the 'Conquer Your Way To A Better Literacy Rate' strategy, alongside Sokoto's wonderful schooling, continues to prove highly effective.
[Literacy shot up from 9% to 14.6% after conquering the two Italian provinces. Which shows simpy annexing your way to better literacy truly does work!]
There has been considerable change in the world over the last decade.
France emerged successful from her war against Spain, gaining Catalonia for herself. Britain and Russia have been busy in central Asia, conquering parts of Bukkhara, Afghanistan and Kokand between them, with Britain also taking land from China. The CSA has emerged, currently losing her war against the USA rather badly. Most importantly and shockingly of all the poor nations of north Africa remain in the grip of oppressive European conquerors.
These wholly unjustified conquests of sovereign nations throughout the last decade utterly dismay Sokoto, such warmongering clearly deplorable. In contrast Sokoto has remained a nation which always attempts to act in the most peaceful manner possible, only occasionally liberating a few nations from oppressive rule via annexation into the glorious Sokoto Empire when forced to.
As Sokoto has continued to grow in strength throughout the last decade a horrified world can only fear what her incompetence will achieve in the next ten years.
One thing is for certain though, Sokoto need gain far more infamy.