• Crusader Kings III Available Now!

    The realm rejoices as Paradox Interactive announces the launch of Crusader Kings III, the latest entry in the publisher’s grand strategy role-playing game franchise. Advisors may now jockey for positions of influence and adversaries should save their schemes for another day, because on this day Crusader Kings III can be purchased on Steam, the Paradox Store, and other major online retailers.


    Real Strategy Requires Cunning

Plank of Wood

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On the 24th June, 2016, the results of the EU Referendum came up as a perfect draw. 12,671,431 to 12,671,431. Numerous recounts continued to end up in the exact same result. By July, the financial markets, riddled with uncertainty, brought Britain into the greatest economic depression it has ever seen due to continued inconclusive result. Seeing this as a national crisis, David Cameron formed a national Coalition - made up of Liberal Democrats, Pro-Europe Tories, and Centrist Labourites. A splinter faction of Conservatives, under the leadership of Gove and Boris Johnson, ended this coalition with a No-Confidence vote within a month, triggering a General Election.

The August election was riddled by strikes, rioting, and violence. Anti-EU groups felt that they had won, but that Britain's destiny had been stolen from them, whilst in Scotland, which was very much in favour of the EU, believed that England would try to impose a Brexit upon them. On Election day, the 22nd August 2016, unaware of eachother's actions, the SNP Government in Holyrood declared independence from the United Kingdom - whilst UKIP seized control of East Anglia and most of Kent. Both the Coalition Government and the Johnson Government (both considering themselves the legitimate Government of the country) declared a state of emergency - the Johnson Government, however, also immediately withdrew from the EU. In the following week, the armed forces rallied around the two opposing Governments, while the East Anglian UKIP State called all loyal Brexiters to heed the call and defend the nation from the tyranny of Brussells.

Meanwhile, in the north - having experienced a long summer of striking, violence, and uncertainty - distanced itself from the chaos in the south, instead seeking the direction of their traditional political leaders in the Labour Party. Hard-Leftist Jeremy Corbyn, seeing this as his last chance to prove himself as a leader, united the northern Cities (except, notably, Newcastle) under the banner of Labour. Their next steps will be unknown - whether they will intervene in the south, or whether they have something else in mind. Uprisings in Wales and Cornwall - and a unity pact in the Midlands - saw the country torn into a jigsaw puzzle of regional powers on the verge of war.

It is September 1st, 2016, the first day of a very British Civil War.

Major Factions:

The Coalition Government
Leader: David Cameron

This is all that remains of the Pre-Referendum establishment, only retaining territorial control in the South. However, they still maintain control over a variety of townships, from Devon in the West to Cambridge in the East - and the loyalty of a large portion of the professional armed forces. They are the leaders of the Pro-European faction in England.

The Johnson Government
Leader: Boris Johnson

Made up of the anti-EU followers of the former Mayor of London, Boris Johnson, this is the other claimant to the throne. They, like the Coalition Government, have a handy portion of professional soldiery and have some (contested) control of the south, as well as controling much of the east Midlands. However, the real jewel in the crown is their control of London - the resources, manpower, and legitimacy that it grants means that it is the number one priority for both "Government" forces to consolidate control over the capital. But, while militarily Johnson controls London, it remains to be seen whether the populace will continue to accept him.

The Labourite North
Leader: Jeremy Corbyn

Whether it is a revolutionary Republic or another parliamentary force, the Labourite North boasts a number of population centers and has captured a large number of military arms depots for their own use. However, the leadership of this faction is underthreat, as forces conspire to replace their leader with a candidate of their own choosing. Left-leaning europhiles who might find themselves in power, however, might also be reminded that much of the populace, whilst sympathetic to Labour, also voted for a Brexit.

Scotland
Leader
: Nicola Sturgeon
It is time that the world recognised Scotland as the sovereign, independent nation that it is! Let the English quiver as Scotland asserts itself - by force if necessary. It is feverently pro-EU, and as a result may prove an unlikely ally for the Coalition.

Other Factions

East Anglia
Leader: Nigel Farage

A revolutionary Brexit state, answering to it's new leadership in UKIP, and them alone. Bolstered by volunteers from all over the country, East Anglia will make the Euroweenie establishment tremble. Loosely aligned with the Johnson Government, however there is no telling where Farage's ambitions might take him next. It controls most of East Anglia, and most of Kent - especially the Channel Crossing, in order to prevent any intervention from the continent.

The Midlands Alliance
Leader:
Tony Blair
A regional alliance centered around Birmingham and Nottingham, with the goal of keeping this region free from the insanity sweeping the rest of the country. An old, wisened figure of British Politics, who was not unknowing in the ways of fighting a legally questionable war, arose as the temporary leader of this Alliance until peace is restored. Boasting control over a key stretch of the M1 Road outside of Nottingham, access to Wales, and a large population center, the Midlands could find itself becoming a powerful Kingmaker if it plays it's cards well.

National Wales:
Leader:
???
Wales, like the Midlands, wanted to keep itself apart from the madness in the south and the north. An emergency Welsh government was drawn up with members from several parties - however, as shown in the referendum, much of Wales is sympathetic to the Brexit cause. Whoever can wrangle control of the Welsh Dragon will find themselves making difficult decisions down the road, made even worse by...

Revolutionary Wales:
Leader: ???

Seeing Scotland as an example, Plaid Cymru declared Wales a free and independent State, part of the EU. While only a few areas have pledged themselves to the cause, the Independence movement may see a second independent nation burst out of the UK should it win strategic victories.

Cornwall:
Leader:
???
The red-headed stepchild of Celtic nationalism (which really is saying something), radical Cornish Seperatists in the Cornish Freedom Army took control of western peninsula, going so far as to take territory from the Coalition Forces in Exeter. Is this the Cornish Dawn, or will it be yet another defeat for the proud people of Cornwall?

Newcastle Provisional Government:
Leader: Michael Gove

Having once written an article in the Times about Scotland, it was only natural that Michael Gove be put in charge of a military taskforce to reclaim control over the rebellious Scots. With an impressive modern army, Gove made it as far as Newcastle before the Labour Party took control of most of the North. With his supply lines cut off, Gove must now decide whether to continue North and finish his job, go South and take care of the socialist seperatists, or remain in Newcastle and hope everything blows over.


Is this concept a joke or are you actually this stupid?

Yes this is a joke.

How will the game be played?

It will be the standard forum game strategy affair. 1 domestic order, 2 combat orders, PMed every turn. Post ICs for fun and benefits.

X isn't realistic enough for me!

This is a tongue-in-cheek game. Please don't be weird about things.

How do I join?

The standard signup affair. Copypaste this, and put in the factions that you want to play, keeping in mind you can only have one Major power as a preference:

Major Power:
1st Minor:
2nd Minor:


Any other questions/want to tell me how stupid this is? Tell me on Coldfront. /join #PlonkGame.
 
Last edited:

jeeshadow

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Major power: Labourite government
1st Minor: Plaid Cymru Wales
2nd Minor: The Midlands Alliance
 

Fingon888

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Major Power: Labourite North! Corbynistas are coming for the Tory bastards!
1st Minor: Plaid Cymru Wales
2nd Minor: Newcastle Provisional Government
 

EasternBloc

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Major Power: The H⃫a⃫g⃫u⃫e⃫ Johnsonite Government
1st Minor: East Anglia (Second Choice if I can't be Willeh)
2nd Minor: Newcastle Provisional Government
Actually Choice: Haguite Kingdom of Yorkshire
 
Last edited:

Scrapknight

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Major Power: The Coalition
Minor 1: Revolutionary Wales
Minor 2: Newcastle Provisional Government
 

Eid3r

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Major Power: The Coalition Government
1st Minor: The Midlands Alliance
2nd Minor: National Wales
 

Scrapknight

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New Ballot:

Major Power: Johnson Government
Minor Power 1: Newcastle Provisional Government (please)
Minor Power 2: National Wales
 

Plank of Wood

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Michael is officially allowed to pretend to be Her Majesty, Elizabeth II of Great Britain, Northern Ireland, Canada, New Zealand, and Australia on the internet.
 

Canadian_95_RTS

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I'll see what this is all about

Major Power: None (I don't want to play as a major)
1st Minor: Revolutionary Wales
2nd Minor: National Wales
 

aedan777

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Don't have the time to be a major power.

Minor One: The Most Free and British State of East Anglia
Minor Two: Cornwall, I guess
 

Plank of Wood

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Reminder that we need a Scotland player.
 

Fingon888

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I'll let Jee take Corbyn into glorious socialism.

new signup

Major: The Republic of Scotland
1st Minor: National Wales
2nd Minor: Cornwall
 

Gorganslayer

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Major: coalition government
1st minor: cornwall
2nd minor: national wales

Would prefer a minor to a major

((Also too soon))
 

Plank of Wood

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I've made a small, possibly insignificant change to the Midlands faction. Read it if you dare.
 

Watercress

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Major Power: The Labourites
Minor Power 1: Midlands Alliance (Blairism is best ism)
Minor Power 2: East Anglia
 

Maxwell500

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Major: Scotland
Minor #1: Newcastle Provisional Government
Minor #2: East Anglia
 

Eid3r

Red Tory
57 Badges
Dec 29, 2009
887
60
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((Plonk, bringing back Tony Blair is unfair. He's got mad war experience with Iraq ;P ))