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Prologue

wzhang29

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---
- This entire credits scene references Telltale.
- Denmark is playing what appears to be Minecraft.
- I made a bit of a self-insert; for this AAR the "Reichtangle" will be the player (in this case, me).
- The music is "The Voyage", also known as what you hear when you load up EU4.
- All of the expansions so far are somewhere in panel 2. The ones after Third Rome are not included.
- The banner references the named updates to EU4 (and made-up names for some others). Updates after Russia, again, has been excluded from that list.
- For those of you who don't know what's on the counter: (this correlates with the expansions that I have)
* EU4 (obv.)
* 1492: Conquest of Paradise (the movie)
* Common Sense, by Thomas Paine
* Sun Zi's Art of War
- The loading screen emulates one of the actual loading screens in EU4 (in this case, the one that came with Rights of Man on Friedrich der Große).
- The name of this AAR is a reference to the anthem of the German Empire (number two, naturally): Heil dir im Siegerkranz, sung to the tune of God Save the $getMonarchTitle$.
- Of course I have to include a France meme.
- Various people involved in the development of EU4 are mentioned in the following panels. My name is covered with a censor bar, as I do not want this name to be revealed.
- I originally planned for Ulm on one of the panels, but I eventually decided to drop that idea. I might still make a Flagland reference though ;)
- The next three panels reference various moments in the history of Germany; 1915 involves WWI, 1805 was the dissolution of the HRE (good news for Prussia), and 1648 marks the Peace of Westphalia (in retrospect I should have used 1618).
- And then 1444 hits. The box opens on a title screen.

Welcome to another one of my (three :p) AARs! If you're new to this author illustrator (writing isn't exactly my forte), welcome aboard.

The exact country I select will be left for Chapter 0 (unless you already know, in which case DON'T SPOIL THE DETAILS). If you haven't already told from the panels already revealed and/or the title, it's somewhere in Germany. I have changed the title to clearly reveal the country I will be playing: Brandenburg (into Prussia into probably Germany). I feel this is good as a first game to ease me into the mechanics (besides colonialism, but I'm pretty sure that's easy compared to the rest of the learning curve).

Anyways, here are some details regarding how this AAR will work:
- I am a beginner to most of EU4 and as such will be playing on Easy. I normally skip over "Very Easy" just for being very easy.
- Due to said noobishness, feel free to call me out on any mistakes I'm making! This helps me develop as a player.
- As I really don't want a "surprise BBB" moment I have turned luck off. As a consequence, this might make the world develop more interestingly. Lots of stuff to tell. :)
- Tutorial segments will happen quite often. Don't be surprised. Tutorial segments have been essentially scrapped in favor of Reichtangle just directly talking about the thing in question.
- Playing with 1.22.2, Art of War, Common Sense, Women in History, and Conquest of Paradise.

- Each chapter will cover a span of roughly five years unless specified otherwise beforehand.
- Every twenty-five years, I will cover what happened in the rest of the world, segment by segment.
- I will be using various forms of the keyed Vigenere and Enigma ciphers prolifically throughout the AAR, as well as incorporating the events that happen in the game and numerous references to popular culture etc. huge rants on Article 13 of the whatchamacallit. Click the spoiler at the bottom of each chapter (like the one above) to see explanations.
- Oh, and there's screenshots as well. For those of you who don't appreciate humor, you get the traditional AAR form.

Note my favoured format (for now at least): Polandball. As such, Broken English (or rather, Engrish) will be plentiful (at least among non-English-speaking countries). If you do speak another language, apologies for screwing it up.

Finally, a warning: most of you should know of the moratorium on a meme about the expurgation of a certain Turkish foodstuff. This naturally extends to other words used derogatorily (especially other foods). As this is a Polandball AAR, where this meme originated, it is especially important you follow this rule. Say it with me:

"I shall abstain from any use of derogatory words."

Thank you for your cooperation.

Anyways, let me introduce you into this world. A table of contents can be pulled up at any time by clicking the word "index" at the bottom of any post containing a chapter (or... this post.)

Table of Contents
(Now deprecated thanks to threadmarks)

Prologue (right above this :p)

Quarter 0 (1444-1450)
Nullte Kapitel: Opening Moves (1444) (three posts below this one)
Erste Kapitel: A 20-year Early Soldin (1444-11-11-1447-01-01)
Zweite Kapitel: Rivers Run Burgundy Red (1448-01-01-1450-01-01) & News Flash: the Renaissance (1444-1450)

Quarter 1 (1450-1475)
Dritte Kapitel: Furor Teutonicus (1450-01-01-1455-01-01)
Vierte Kapitel: Advancements (1455-01-01-1460-01-01)
Fünfte Kapitel: A State with a Navy (1460-01-01-1465-01-01)
Sechste Kapitel: Furor Teutonicus, Round Two (1465-01-01-1470-07-02)
Siebte Kapitel: Storm Across the Warthea (1470-07-02-1475-01-02)
Weltzustand Quartal Ein

Quarter 2 (1475-1500)
Achte Kapitel: Furor Teutonicus, Round Three (1475-01-02-1480-01-01)
Neunte Kapitel: Enthüllung (1480-01-01-1484-10-??)
Zehnte Kapitel: Goliat (1484-10-??-1490-01-01)
Elfte Kapitel: Drang Nach Westen (1490-01-01-1500-01-01)
Weltzustand Quartal Zwei: Colonial Edition

Quarter 3 (1500-1525)
Zwölfte Kapitel: ????
Dreizehnte: ????
Vierzehnte: ????
Fünfzehnte: ????
Sechszehnte: ????
Weltzustand Quartal Drei: [REDACTED]

Quarter 4 (1525-1550)
Siebzehnte Kapitel: ????
Achtzehnte: ????
Neunzehnte: ????
Zwanzigste: ????
Einundzwanzigste: ????
Weltzustand Quartal Vier: Printed in [REDACTED]

Quarter 5 (1550-1575)
Zweiundzwanzigste: ????
Dreiundzwanzigste: ????
Vierundzwanzigste: ????
Fünfundzwanzigste: ????
Sechsundzwanzigste: ????
Weltzustand Quartal Fünf

Quarter 6 (1575-1600)
Siebenundzwanzigste: ????
Achtundzwanzigste: ????
Neunundzwanzigste: ????
Dreißigste: ????
Einunddreißigste: ????
Weltzustand Quartal Sechs: Global Trading

Quarter 7 (1600-1625)
Zweiunddreißigste: ????
Dreiunddreißigste: ????
Vierunddreißigste: ????
Fünfunddreißigste: ????
Sechsunddreißigste: ????
Weltzustand Quartal Sieben

Quarter 8 (1625-1650)
Siebenunddreißigste: ????
Achtunddreißigste: ????
Neununddreißigste: ????
Vierzigste: ????
Einundvierzigste: ????
Weltzustand Quartal Acht: Manufactured in [REDACTED]

Quarter 9 (1650-1675)
Zweiundvierzigste: ????
Dreiundvierzigste: ????
Vierundvierzigste: ????
Fünfundvierzigste: ????
Sechsundvierzigste: ????
Weltzustand Quartal Neun

Quarter 10 (1675-1700)
Siebenundvierzigste: ????
Achtundvierzigste: ????
Neunundvierzigste: ????
Fünfzigste: ????
Einundfünfzigste: ????
Weltzustand Quartal Zehn: बोधि

Quarter 11 (1700-1725)
Zweiundfünfzigste: ????
Dreiundfünfzigste: ????
Vierundfünfzigste: ????
Fünfundfünfzigste: ????
Sechsundfünfzigste: ????
Weltzustand Quartal Elf

Quarter 12 (1725-1750)
Siebenundfünfzigste: ????
Achtundfünfzigste: ????
Neunundfünfzigste: ????
Sechzigste: ????
Einundsechzigste: ????
Weltzustand Quartal Zwölf

Quarter 13 (1750-1775)
Zweiundsechzigste: ????
Dreiundsechzigste: ????
Vierundsechzigste: ????
Fünfundsechzigste: ????
Sechsundsechzigste: ????
Weltzustand Quartal Dreizehn

Quarter 14 (1775-1800)
Siebenundsechzigste: ????
Achtundsechzigste: ????
Neunundsechzigste: ????
Siebzigste: ????
Einundsiebzigste: ????
Weltzustand Quartal Vierzehn

Quarter 15 (1800-1821)
Zweiundsiebzigste: ????
Dreiundsiebzigste: ????
Vierundsiebzigste: ????
Fünfundsiebzigste: ????
Sechsundsiebzigste: Final Words
Weltzustand Quartal Fünfzehn




 
Last edited:

stnylan

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I liked the intro :)
 
00 - Opening Moves

wzhang29

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Glad to see this is finally up.

I liked the intro
Guten tag, welcome to the AAR. :)

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(Yes, I know I spelled Jahre wrong. Don't berate me for that.)
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- I actually tried to count the number of pages on the EU4 wiki. 500 a page * 16 counted pages of pages = 8000.
- At the time of posting (2017) it has been 573 years since 1444.
- Direct reference to Pokémon's name selection screen in panel 3.
- You may notice that most names on the map in panel 7 have been edited to reflect the German pronunciation.
- I will not be discussing everything at once, only when something relevant pops up.
- The other two missions are improving Papal relations and improving prestige, neither of which I particularly wanted to take.
- The ringtone is actually what plays when you get a diplomatic offer.
- Guess how the time and date correspond to the real date. :p
- For the record, the country behind Brandenburg in the second to last panel is NOT Cologne. It's the Teutonic Order's actual flag.
- And yes, the eagle has its own personality.
- The last panel reads "to be continued" and is a common trope in most anime.

Expect updates at very erratic intervals from now on.
 
Last edited:

Tom D.

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Very interesting, subbed!

- You may notice that most names on the map in panel 7 have been edited to reflect the German pronunciation.
You could also set the language to German just for that picture but I guess it wouldn't have the same feeling ;).
 

wzhang29

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Very interesting, subbed!


You could also set the language to German just for that picture but I guess it wouldn't have the same feeling ;).

I love this even though it takes a bit for me to understand what they are saying (because some of it is in German and the font doesn't help with that) but I understand that it general polandball protocol to do such things.

Polandball is one of my favorite "art forms". Keep it up!
Thanks for the compliments.

---

Sorry about the unreadability. I understand that the other-language-infused English may be hard to comprehend for some people. Unfortunately, that is a core piece of Polandball. I have, however, updated (most of) the tutorials to fully English versions.

The next update will not be coming anytime soon... Real life really gets in the way of things. Expect it in at least a week or so.

Once again, sorry. :(
 

Ericpiplup

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Thanks for the compliments.

---

Sorry about the unreadability. I understand that the other-language-infused English may be hard to comprehend for some people. Unfortunately, that is a core piece of Polandball. I have, however, updated (most of) the tutorials to fully English versions.

The next update will not be coming anytime soon... Real life really gets in the way of things. Expect it in at least a week or so.

Once again, sorry. :(
It's absolutely okay and I understand that it's fundamental stuff. I think it's mostly the difference between the Reichtangle's and BBurgball's font that makes the most difference in readability.

Again, it's fine :D. No need to fret over it if you have already started on the next chapter or so.
 

Tom D.

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The next update will not be coming anytime soon... Real life really gets in the way of things. Expect it in at least a week or so.

Once again, sorry. :(
Don't worry, these things take time to make and real life goes first - take the time you need to deliver a good update when it's ready :).
 
01 - A 20-year-early Soldin

wzhang29

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---
- The actual treaty transferring Neumark back was signed in Cölln, now a district of Berlin.
- Nothing to see in panel 8, besides Reichtangle celebrating the obtaining of a CB...
- Singapore is a triangle. (originating from this, presumably)
- If anyone can tell me how to deal with this button's damaging effects, go ahead and list it here. PDX wouldn't put it there without reason.
- Accidentally made a few panels smaller because I forgot to change the canvas size and then was too lazy to change it. Drawing CoAs takes time, you know :D
- Go Fish. For nines.
- After I did the panel at Braunschweig I had the bright idea to model future forts after actual forts in the region. Here you can see the Schloss Oldenburg and a pitiful attempt at the cathedral in Verden an der Aller.
- Another idea I had after already halfway-finishing panels: use CoA on signs to denote provinces.
- Yes, an Askanier (the dynasty on Saxe-Lauenburg's and Anhalt's thrones) actually got onto Bohemia's throne. We'll see what happens to that later.
- Speaking of dynasties, the Jagiellons were rejected from Poland's throne.
- After I gave them Oldenburg, Brunswick was immediately forced to return it. So much for that. :rolleyes:

Again, apologies for this being so late. Next update will include a brief overview of the happenings of this world in addition to the regular.
 

wzhang29

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It's absolutely okay and I understand that it's fundamental stuff. I think it's mostly the difference between the Reichtangle's and BBurgball's font that makes the most difference in readability.

Again, it's fine :D. No need to fret over it if you have already started on the next chapter or so.
Please, please don't use the ball suffix. That gives me cancer.
Don't worry, these things take time to make and real life goes first - take the time you need to deliver a good update when it's ready :).

Again, thanks for the support. A new episode will be coming soon (ETA: A while).
 

Tom D.

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Nice solution to the Pomeranian problem, and Brunswick getting nothing for all their hard work :D!
 
02 - Rivers Run Burgundy Red

wzhang29

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END OF QUARTER 0
---------------------------------​
- At this time, Brandenburg's Armed Forces consists of a meager 11,000 men compared to the Teuton's 13,000 or Bohemia's 13,788.
- Sternberg in der Neumark (not included in the actual province of Neumark) is now called Torzym; the z is written backwards so as to not evoke a certain type of imagery I would like to avoid.
- War of the Roses! For this special occasion only England is shown with both roses; whichever side wins will have their rose on England (and maybe GB if formed) for the rest of the AAR.
- Oh, I forgot to mention this last time... Kazakhstan is a brick.
- ...yeah, Reichtangle has a bit of an issue with others trying to explain things...
- Another thing I forgot to talk about last time: the map in the upper left of panel 15, used for sudden setting changes just like the clock and calendar.
- Anhalt succeeded in its endeavor to conquer Magdeburg from last episode, and now Austria's forcing it to give it back.
- Denmark joined the TO's war against Poland but not me. Must be all that debt racked up from [redacted].
- Oh, and the announcer for news flashes will be a random country in the vicinity of the birthplace of an institution or some other major event.
- Austria got the other half of Burgundy. Lucky them.
- Bohemia finally ditched its Askanier for Jirí z Podebrad. Lucky me.

Next episode: WAR! (no kidding :p)
 

wzhang29

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Haha, alright. It's all I've ever seen so I thought it was normal

Looking forward to the next update.
There you have it. :p

Nice solution to the Pomeranian problem, and Brunswick getting nothing for all their hard work :D!
And thus karma continues weighing on us all...

On the downside, I can't secure a coastline until after 1458. Mecklenburg is firmly allied with me, and my only way into TO directly is through the juggernaut known as Polski.
 

Iwantdumplings

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Ich mussen say, mate, mein denglish ist super but I have trouble with those fonts - perhaps increasen sie the fontsenraum or find a single legible one to stick to?
 

Tom D.

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Now to take the important cities of Danzig and Königsberg before Poland does - to war!
 

stnylan

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I am finding what I presume is the "Italian" text to be very hard to actually read.
 

wzhang29

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Now to take the important cities of Danzig and Königsberg before Poland does - to war!
There might be a problem with that. Not Poland - they got a metaphorical kick in the rear from Denmark.

I am finding what I presume is the "Italian" text to be very hard to actually read.
Ich mussen say, mate, mein denglish ist super but I have trouble with those fonts - perhaps increasen sie the fontsenraum or find a single legible one to stick to?
I do agree that it might be illegible. I will consider this when I make another chapter involving Italians... or maybe antialias the text next time. *shudders*

Have you ever tried clicking on the image to make it slightly larger? This should make "the unreadable fonts" more readable if your screen size doesn't allow for the full-size image to display normally.
 

stnylan

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Nah its not screen size - I think it is just too "frilly" and thin, red against white. I am not sure if larger text (as opposed to magnified text) would make it easier to see.