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Khan of the Crimea
Oct 21, 2002
2.038
12
bgreinhart.wordpress.com
walrus1.jpg

VOTE WALRUS PARTY: OUR BARK AND OUR BITE ARE BOTH PRETTY DARN GOOD

Mission Statement: The Walrus Party is dedicated to protecting the rights of all walruses (walrii) (walrusians) everywhere, and stands firmly for the walrus' place in politics.

Practical Platform:
  • (a) Eutopia is desperately in need of a Walrus Bill of Rights to protect this oppresed minority. It is also in need of greater representation for the Walrus community, and an end to the many years of prejudice against Walrusians' alternative way of living.

    (b) Incentives and subsidies for clam-farmers to protect the future of our most beloved food.

    (c) Banning of tusk-hunting and legalization of the Walrus Bark as official cheer of the Eutopian Olympic Team.

    (d) Creation of an investigation committee to determine the feasibility of an invasion of Malta

    (e) More to come

Presidential Candidate: Donald Sinclair

Smiley.jpeg


Although not technically a Walrus, Donald Sinclair has proved his worth over the years as a fierce defender of the Walrus Community. His excellent credibility with humans and superb charisma are evident in all his public appearances, as are his immense knowledge and deep understanding of the problems of Walruses. You can count on Donald Sinclair to enact all the Walrus Party's vital legislation, as well as lowering taxes for aquatic creatures, balancing the budget, eliminating poverty and pollution, and stopping terrorism. He is also widely known as the first intellectual to create a case for the invasion of Malta, which he may outline at one of his campaign stops.

Thank you for joining the Walrus Party Campaign for a Better Eutopia and be sure to VOTE FOR THE PARTY YOU CAN TUSK!

[OOC: Please note you cannot vote for this party or Donald Sinclair. This is just an opportunity for us to make the election a little more interesting...which it direly needed... Some of the mods will be posting here and you can stop by a campaign rally, too, if you like. Free clams :) ]
 

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LevePalestinaKrossaSionis men
Dec 13, 2003
586
2
Master Chocolatier, Latin Nationalist and sucsessful buisnessman Jacques Moreau-Dumont has taken time out of his busy schedule to offer his support to the Walrus Party

OOC: This is taken from an Article in El Frente from about a year ago




Walrus: Your species is in peril! Take it back before it is too late!

Humans have coexisted with Walrii for Centuries. Now, that has fallen and the humans been experimenting with the eradication of all walruses. The National Tusk and Ivory Party and other Anti-Walrus groups want to see the experiment succeed. They want our great land to turn into an Ivory Palace where they oppress all Walrus in the name of Piano Keyboards.

They have made it so that we cannot even trust our own Human allies, and they are ready to attack at any moment. However, their weaponry is so antiquated that two French school children could conquer them with only tennis rackets.

For too long have the Walruses been asking for for a bill of Walrus Rights, and for too long have the Humans ignored them.

The NTIP was provoked to act to prolong our terrible situation and, although the Humans did not officially condone their actions, they did not condemn them, either.

Our movement is going strong. We are the fastest growing party in Eutopia, and we will give back to the Walrii.

If you cannot trust the Ivory Dealers, You can trust the Walrus Party.
If you cannot trust the Media, You can trust our newspaper.
If you cannot trust your Humans, I'm afraid we can't remove them alone.

The Walrus Movement is Strong and Growing, but not strong enough to do it alone.

We must, together, vote for other Human Allies. Only together can the Opposition to the Ivory Dealers truly be strong. Only by voting for the Walrus Party can the Walruses overpower the NTIP and end the status quo. Only together can we rebuild the mutual trust between the Humans, the Walruses, and the others.

At this time, we must stand together with the Humans, and they with us, because the Ivorians, the Tuskans, and the Piano makers do not share our hopes for a strong, Free, and Proud Walrus Nation.

Tell the NTIP to go back to Norway where their opression belongs.
Tell the General Assembly that you want your voice to be heard.
Tell the Humans to pack their bags, because they're going from a Presidential Palace to the bottom of the food chain.

Vote Sinclair first, and Al'Aeshir second. Bury the NTIP on the Bottom of your Ballot along with his Ivory allies.

Vote Walrus Party for the Assembly and we will bring new life and new hope to Eutopia.
 

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Khan of the Crimea
Oct 21, 2002
2.038
12
bgreinhart.wordpress.com
New Lancaster City

At a monster campaign rally, A. S. Peragus steps up to the podium. "Good evening, ladies, gentlemen, and walruses! Thank you for coming tonight. Now - ahem - I have a few things to say on behalf of my friend Donald Sinclair.

"The Walrus Party has an educated plan on the crisis of our military. Other parties have not got the stomach to stand up for this explosive issue, but Donald Sinclair in his wisdom has spent years finding a solution. I would like to see Loic de Forgeries or Roger '500' Forbes to come up with a solution as comprehensive.

"The solution, my friends, is to invade Malta. Malta has the highest technology weaponry, which it has on loan from the United States as a reward for supporting the war on terrorism. A Maltese engineer designed the F-35 Joint Strike Fighter. You may not know this, but the new Pope, Joseph Cardinal Ratzinger, has a Maltese history. But the Maltese hide their heritage so we will not see their conspiracy.

"That's right, friends. As Donald spent years finding out, the Maltese are out to control the world. That is why an Eutopian invasion would be morally right.

"Would it be right for us? How would we benefit? Easy. With a foothold in Europe Eutopia can join the European Union and receive millions of benefit euros. Also, the treasured Maltese Falcon, worth untold millions, would be ours. And, finally, we could lay claim to the Lost Treasure of the Knights of Saint John, which is rumored to have a piece of the True Cross from Jerusalem. Millions of people will come to see it, and think how much money we could peel out of them.

"Would it help our military? Sure. It has been often said that Malta could come in and invade us easily. Therefore Malta would be perfect as a test ground. Think of the experience our soldiers would gain, the guts of steel they would earn through battle. Think of the experience for our generals. Think of the F-35 Joint Strike Fighter. Our military would be revolutionized.

"Would it help our walruses? Absolutely. Malta is famous for its fish, the lampuka, which could be turned into an excellent dish for our walrus community. The lampuka would be a delicacy much like blowfish in Japan or Chateaubriand steak in France - the caviar of the walrus community. Walrus businessmen would find their status enhanced in the business world as a result of their monopoly on lampuka. And to top it all off it tastes darn good.

"There you have it. An invasion of Malta would reap so many benefits for Eutopia and the walrus community. If you would like a revolutionized military and a true fiscal plan for the future, and if you would like to support your friends the walruses against the greatest conspiracy of all time never made into a Dan Brown book, support the invasion of Malta. Support Donald Sinclair for President!"