Hungary and Austria go for the Ottomans again. I reach Trade 5. Starting to get into the cheap levels now.
The inevitable finally happens and Hungary is dismembered by the Turk, being left as two disconnected provinces. Austria seems to be doing fairly well, however.
At the fifth time of asking, Modena finally agrees to be annexed, giving me my fifth university as well as a land link to Parma. I ally with Milan immediately. Savoy is still impossible.
Austria pays off the Turk and forms a PU with Bavaria. France, desirous of being interesting, annexes Naxos. Odds on a French-Ottoman war?
Trade 6 reached. I have merchants to spare, so I send some to Novgorod. And now Tuscany wants an alliance. Look,
you may not remember what happened the last time, but
I do, so dream on.
Riga is the next strange place to want an alliance. OK, they have slightly more chance than Tuscany, in the same way that I have slightly more chance of walking on water than of being assumed bodily into Heaven.
Aragon, supported by Castile, Portugal and Sicily, bravely declares war on Ragusa. Sucks to be Ragusa. Oh, and Venice. Looks like the end of the Sicily-Venice axis. No it doesn't, they're apparently still allied. While being at war. And they said theology was confusing.
With nothing better to do, I look up the odds of forging claims on Genoa or Tuscany. 100 ducats for a 37% chance, both ways. Think I'll pass.
Croatia and Poland join the dogpile on Ragusa. Bye-bye Ragusa.
Gov 4 reached. I consider switching investment to Gov 5 for the next NI, but since I'm already getting over 40 ducats a month from monarch, neighbours and universities it's hardly worth the effort.
Aragon and friends are making a real dog's breakfast of the Ragusan war. Castile has Istria; they land an army in Venice proper but the Venetians beat it up and it has to take refuge in Ferrara.
My. Oh my. A sudden rush of pop-ups announce a big succession war. France vs Austria. Over Burgundy. Burgundy is on the French side, so this could be bad for Austria. Now if I could just scrape up a CB somewhere while they're all busy...
Now the King of Bavaria becomes HRE, even though he's the same person as the King of Austria and Austria leads the PU. However it does mean Austria should have lost their all-empire military access. Maybe I won't wait for that CB.
Venice, despite having two provinces occupied, somehow buys its way out of the Spanish war. Looks like Portugal, not Castile, was alliance leader. They must have been colonising.
I rev up the army and DOW Genoa. No sense in provoking the Austrians if I don't have to. Tuscany decides to come in on their side – and Castile, Burgundy, Milan and Mantua on mine. This should be fun.
I rumble the army into Genoa and ... anyone wanna guess what happens next?
Yup, Clemens junior becomes the fourth Pope in a row to die in battle. Ouch. And Genoa are somehow Land 6 and fielding Condotta Infantry. Double ouch. And Tuscany has taken Siena in 22 days flat.
New Pope is Pius II. Great diplomat, OK general, can't administrate to save his life.
I beat Genoa in Genoa, leave a siege force, beat them again in Parma and drive them into Tuscany – at the price of about half my army. My alleged allies are doing their famous stuffed turnip imitation. Tuscany has a free hand and is popping out armies like nobody's business and sieging everywhere in sight. While I still actually control some provinces I order up some infantry regiments to keep them busy.
In the middle of all this I hit Gov 5 and adopt Shrewd Commerce Practices. Now hopefully I won't lose all my merchants as soon as my Trader dies.
Austria/Bavaria are being overrun by France/Burgundy. France eventually takes Krain, annexes Salzburg and vassalises Riga. Curiously, this is the first province Austria has gained or lost.
Venice sends us a Warning. It's a bit late.
The war is going better as my new regiments come on line and my existing ones recover. I break the sieges, killing off a couple of stray Tuscan regiments in the process, and storm Firenze and Siena.
I reach Gov 6 and can now build Temples. Woot.
Austria inherits Bavaria. Ouch. It must upset the rest of the HRE too – they make the King of Brandenburg the new Emperor.
The remaining military problem is Pisa, which has 6,000 high-tech Genoese holed up in it. I dodge around a bit to make sure the main Tuscan army is absent, then go in with everything.
Crunch. Pius II continues the papal tradition. New man is Benedict XIII – mediocre admin, mediocre diplomacy, positively no martial background. Still I make him a general, and he turns out to have Shock 1, Siege 1, better than some I could name.
I win the battle anyway, with much slaughter on all sides. After it's over, 22,000 Burgundians turn up to help with the siege. It's all right for some. Storm Pisa, send diplomat, Pisa, vassalisation, money.
Tuscany says no, and a day or so later they take Firenze back. Have I mentioned that I don't like Tuscans?
I kick them out of Firenze and storm it. Send the diplomat again. They say no again. Genoa has taken Siena. Kick them out, storm, chase into Pisa. Where are 22,000 Burgundians when you need them?
Beat Genoa in Pisa, losing 750 men against 150. Tuscany has taken Modena. This is getting tedious.
Liguria falls (you'd forgotten I was sieging it, hadn't you?). I retake Modena. Send the diplomats. Tuscany agrees. Genoa agrees.
I force an Alliance on both of them and rationalise armies a bit. Pisa has a University – I now have six of the things. I build a Temple in Siena because it's the only place that doesn't have one.
Italy in 1501. I have now vassalised all the North-Italian minors
My Prestige is 38 (positive numbers!) and my reputation is still “respectable”. My manpower, I note, is 0.
Nominally, the Papal States are the second-richest country in the world, behind only France. In practice, I have 10,000 troops and the highest TE on the planet doesn't let me cover my running costs without minting. And while I may be Gov 6, Trade 6, everything else is 2.
To put this in perspective, Burgundy has Land 7, Gov 9 and 60,000 troops. Glad we're allies.