• Crusader Kings III Available Now!

    The realm rejoices as Paradox Interactive announces the launch of Crusader Kings III, the latest entry in the publisher’s grand strategy role-playing game franchise. Advisors may now jockey for positions of influence and adversaries should save their schemes for another day, because on this day Crusader Kings III can be purchased on Steam, the Paradox Store, and other major online retailers.


    Real Strategy Requires Cunning

unmerged(70598)

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INTRODUCTION AND GOALS


welshflagjz1.gif




Welcome to SAVE THE WALES

People of Welsh descent have enriched the world in many ways, in the arts, the sciences, and all manner of human endeavor. We owe them a debt. We could happily go the rest of our lives without paying this debt (if only there were a technical term for this), but then Wales upped the ante by giving the world:


catherinezetajonesdx6.jpg

Okay Wales, you've made your point

So I capitulated. I will pay tribute to the great-hearted Cymric people by leading Wales to greatness in an AAR.

The goal is to save the oppressed remants of Celtdom in Europe and the world. In practical terms, this means we must:

* Break free from England

* Take control of all Celtic-cultured provinces. This means:
-- All of Scotland
-- Leinster
-- Munster
-- Connaught
-- All of Brittany
-- Massachusetts


Wait ... Massachusetts? Well, where else are you going to find Celtics? In fact, I won't rest until we've built a Fleet Center in the New World. (That's a Naval Refinery to you, Mac.) In Boston, if possible.

* And maybe, just maybe, there is one other mystery province we must take over. More on this later.

* Anything else necessary to secure the survival of the Celtic peoples.


But wait! There's a problem. Turns out that in 1453 there is no Wales. We'll have to load as England and release them.

But wait! There's a problem. Turns out you can't release Wales in 1453 ... probably due to the war with France. We'll have to load in 1454 and do it. Then reload as Wales, and onward to glory!

...

So we find ourselves here at the Plow and Whistle, finest pub in the Welsh Empire. Dafydd ap Hugh, barkeep and last descendant of the line of Llewellyn Iorweth and the vassal King appointed by England, gathers with his two barons Fflewdur ap Morgan of Glamorgan and Gwyngrach ap Normal of Gwynedd...

[Next: the beginning]
 

nalivayko

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Best of luck, I hope the War of Roses in England will serve your plans well.

Btw, that picture was very convincing :)
 

unmerged(70598)

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Ffeedback

Thanks for weighing in nalivayko!

I am hoping to avoid conflict with England altogether, though they do currently and illegally occupy the sacred Celtic soil of Meath, so there may be trouble sooner or later.

For now however, the *last* thing I want is to fight England. You'll see why,...

just...

about...

now.
 

unmerged(70598)

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Mar 3, 2007
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0
Planning


welshflagjz1.gif


Dramatis Personae:
Iorwerth II, King of Wales
ap Normal, Baron of Gwynedd
ap Morgan, Baron of Glamorgan
von Bueler, Spy of the Teutonic Order

ap Normal: I still can't believe they went for it. Who'd have thought they would release us as a vassal!

Iorwerth II: Gentlemen, our dream is on the way to fruition. We are once again a Kingdom.

ap Normal: ap Hugh --

Iorwerth II: Hey! It's Iorwerth now, that's my reign name.

ap Normal: Sorry, um, Sire. It's difficult, we haven't had a King in generations.

ap Morgan: Kingdom! Ha! We are still a satrapy of the hated English.

Iorwerth II: Yes, but that will soon change.

VB: [Aside] I smell intruige! I must listen in...

Iorwerth II: You both know the plan -- to restore the Celtic peoples of Europe to their proper stature. But we must start small, until we're ready to strike.

ap Morgan: What's the first step?

Iorwerth II: Ap Morgan, you will ride through the countryside and prepare a report on the state of the realm. Ap Normal, you must begin research on how we are best to govern our nation. Years under the Saxon heel have left us pretty thin on institutions.

ap Normal: My wife Branwen has volunteered to embroider us a national flag.

Iorwerth II: That's the kind of forward thinking that will make us great. Now, all we need is...

[ap Morgan and ap Normal lean in close]

Iorwerth II: A motto! A national slogan to motivate the people.

ap Normal: Hmm ... how about "We are secretly planning to annex Scotland, Eire, Brittany, and Massachusetts -- fear us!"

Iorwerth II: No, I want to play it a little closer to the vest.

ap Morgan: I've got it! "We are men of iron, like the bountiful mines of Glamorgan"

Iorwerth II: Hmm ... interesting.

ap Normal: Ha! Man does not live by iron alone. I suggest: "Without bountiful fisheries such as abound in Gwynedd we would all starve right quick!"

ap Morgan: [Sneers] Fish? FISH!? What kind of rallying cry is that? Iron, I say, iron!

ap Normal: Fish!

ap Morgan: Iron!

Iorwerth II: Quiet, both of you. We must unite the Ffolk. Our rallying cry is: Fish and Iron!

ap Morgan: I like it.

ap Normal: Yes, the twin pillars upon which Wales is built.

VB: [Aside] "Fish and Iron", hmm. With a little work we could make a real slogan out of that. [1]

Iorwerth II: All I need is a map showing the way to London. Ap Morgan, you are official cartographer of Wales. Procure me some maps!

ap Morgan: Yours to command, Sire.


[CURTAIN]


[1] Hat-tip and apologies to Otto von Bismarck

= = =

[The next morning, in the Royal Pub -- er, Palace...]

Iorwerth, King of Wales, Second of that Name, ascended to his throne, eager to begin his first real day of Kinging. As he sat, a dart flew by, narrowly missing him.

"Ffransis! What the heck do you think you're doing? You could've killed me!"

"Sorry Dafydd -- " he stopped at Iorwerth's glare. "I mean Iorwerth." Another glare. "Sire. It's just..."

"What? Treason? Assassination? You want the Oaken Throne for yourself?"

"No Sire, but I do think maybe we put the Throne a little too close to the dartboard."

Iorwerth considered. There were disadvantages to holding court in the Plow and Whistle, though from an economic standpoint it was the best choice available. After a few moments thought, Iorwerth had the dartboard moved. After all, rank hath its priveleges. Then he apologised to his subject:

"I'm sorry Ffransis, it's just it's my first day and all, and I'm a little nervous. In recompense, draw yourself a beer from the Treasury."

"Don't you worry Sire, I'm sure all new Kings have a settling-in period. Thanks for the beer, too."

Ap Morgan approached. "Sire, I have a report on the State of the Realm."

"Excellent! How are we doing?"

"Well Sire, we have: no money, no income, no prestige, no soldiers, no foreign advisors, a poorly-defined border with an angry England, sedition and banditry in the hinterlands, a negative birthrate in both provinces, and our Royal Palace is a pub."


14540530economyes4.png

There is no economy



14540530revoltscx3.png

The peasantry is upset

"But we have our Freedom, which is priceless!" beamed Iorwerth.

"Yes Sire, it's only the priceless things we can afford right now."

"Bah. How about maps? I want maps of my vast domain!"

Ap Morgan made a sort of hangdog shuffle and put a paper on the table.


14540530cannotseewaleshx9.png


There was a long pause. "Ap Morgan, what is this?"

"'Tis a map of the Empire, Majesty."

"So ... where is, you know, OUR NATIVE COUNTRY?"

"Well Sire, as to that ... we're not quite sure."

"Not quite sure?" Iorwerth was incredulous.

"Owen says the ocean is that way, but you know Owen. I *think* Wales is on the right side of that ocean there, but I'm not 100% if you know what I mean. Could be the map is upside down."

"Saints and Martyrs, man," snarled the King. "If I threw you off a cliff could you find the bottom? You can't find Wales in a map of Europe!"

Ap Morgan drew himself up with dignity. "Sire, it's more like I can't find a map of Europe in Wales. We are an impoverished nation."

"Fair enough, I shouldn't snap. Well ... hmm ... hey! You know the Unofficial Welsh Motto, right?"

"Fish and Iron!" thundered ap Morgan.

"No, that's the official one."

"Um ... 'My sheep is mine, and so is yours'?"

Iorwerth smiled. "Getting closer..."

"Of course! 'When the going gets tough, the tough go...'"

"SHOPLIFTING!" came the joyous cry from all denizens of the pub.

"There's a Barnes and Peasant bookstore right cross the border, why don't you go requisition some mappage in the name of Sacred Mother Wales?"

Ap Morgan saluted. "Truly Sire, you have the wisdom of a King."

= = =

Game notes:

It was weird. When I started as Wales I could not see my own provinces. Luckily, a few days later they come pouring in. Here is Dafydd-- 'scuse, I mean Iorwerth's -- vast domain:


14540704walesinglorygt5.png

Wales in all her glory

Things to note:
* England is huge. It is intolerable that we be their vassal, but we daren't fight them. We'll have to use ... finesse.



The big dog


* The first priority is economics. Therefore, we'll put our measley income toward Government research (heh?). Yep, Government. Production takes too long; it'd take till 1470 or so to hit Prod 1, but Government we can get in a couple years. Then we'll take Shrewd Trade Practices, and (hopefully) clean up in Lubeck.
 

General_BT

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Hilarious! Looking forward to seeing what happens next! :rofl:
 

Kanil

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Hilarious indeed. Pretty sure all newly released nations have no maps for their first month of existence.

Still, that was very amusing. Good luck!
 

Notgerus

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I could almost picture the Monty Python crew enacting your characters.

...and that embryo of a government looks as clueless as I was when I first tried to rule a nation in EU3.

That doubles the pleasure.

And, forgive my ignorance, but who's that gorgeous lady in your first post?
 

Kanil

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I couldn't tell you who she is, but the picture is titled "catherinezetajonesdx6."

Toss in some spaces, remove the nonsensical bits at the end, and you probably have a good place to start your search from.
 

Malurous

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Hilarious! Subscribed.

The Celtics joke was awesome, and so was the Bismarck one :rofl:

I also like the whole format.
 

stnylan

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Yes - choose your moment to fight England carefully.
 

nalivayko

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Yeah, I guess I was wrong. Fighting your suzerain, the one that granted you freedom... that'd be wrong, whichever way you look at it, right? :)

Nice touch about the maps.

On to the real question, which is it first, Ireland or Scotland? Are you afraid that England might get their lands first, forcing you to fight them sooner rather than later?
 

coz1

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Shouldn't that motto be Ffish and Ioron? ;)

Regardless, great start. The title was catchy and drew me in and the words and nice pics made me stay. I'll be reading. :)
 

Nassau

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Save the Wales, I was thinking of Sea Shepherd with there operation Migaloo... but this is okay to...
 
Last edited:

unmerged(70598)

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Repllies

Thanks all for weighing in! I have a little bit of a story backlog to work through -- most of what's happening now is very early days, first few months -- but the AAR will soon be caught up with gameplay and I'll be asking for advice.

Can't speak for schedule, but I imagine I'll be able to toss something out there 2-3 times per week once we're past the opening.

Some specific notes...

kanil: To the missing maps... I had never played a newly-released minor, so imagine my surprise.

notgerus: kanil is right, that's Catherine Zeta Jones. If you poke around you'll find quite a few actors and actresses are of Welsh descent. We are a comely folk. ;)

Malurous: I'm glad you picked up on the subtext behind "Fish and Iron". I really got a kick out of that one.

stnylan, nalivayko: I am desperately hoping not to have to fight England, ever, but I fear it is inevitable, given their holdings in Meath and their naughty habit of annexing Scotland. Maybe they'll get into a huge war with France and I can swoop in. In any case, it almost has to be Ireland first, as, well ... okay, um ... Scotland is too tough.

coz1: I'm glad you liked the pictures. Just wait until we start building our navy, heh heh... And yes, I did Ffllirt with "ffish" but I have big plans for my lovely Welsh doubled consonants, and didn't want to overload that theme just yet.

So now (for small values of "now"), as promised, another little update!
 

Charle_88

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I wish you the best of luck. It'll be tough.
 

unmerged(70598)

Second Lieutenant
Mar 3, 2007
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The Shortest War in Human History


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The audience chamber of King Henry VI of England was magnificently appointed in tapestries, brocades, and sculpture, betokening the wealth and might of the English nation. Iorwerth stared, wide-eyed. This splendor was far beyond anything he had ever imagined.



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Henry VI deals with matters of state

He was far more used to the homey atmosphere of the Welsh court at the Plow and Whistle:


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Iorwerth deals with matters of state with ap Morgan and ap Normal

Well, intimidating or not, there was nothing else for it. Iorwerth stomped forward to greet his sovereign.


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Where do the English get these amazon warrior-babes?


Dramatis Personae:
Iorwerth II: King of Wales
King Henry VI: King of England
EA: English Advisor
(Random nobles)

Iorwerth: Your Majesty, as your faithful vassals, we men of Wales are always seeking to grow the friendship between Welshman and Englishman.

King Henry: As well you should! How's that vassal thing working out for you? Regretting splitting off already?

Iorwerth: [Gives a tight smile] Well, now that you mention it...

King Henry: Yes...?

Iorwerth: Ahem. This is a dangerous world we live in. The foes of England are everywhere (especially France). In these dark and perilous times we feel it would be criminal not to hang together.

King Henry: So ... what are you getting at?

Iorwerth: I propose an alliance between our nations, a treaty of mutual aid in all conflict.

King Henry: And what, precisely, would England get out of this? I mean, not to disparage the two-province might of Wales and all, but you guys aren't really in the same league.

Iorwerth: [Manfully ignores the insult] Your Majesty, sometimes it only takes a feather to tip the scales.

King Henry: Well said, liegeman, well said! Alright, we'll do it. Your foes are mine, and mine are yours! May our nations grow in brotherhood forever. And if you ever want to come back to the fold, O Prodigal Provinces... [beams]

Iorwerth: Thank you Sire. I'm sure this alliance will work out for the best for everyone.

King Henry: Is there anything else, O my henchman? I have ambassadors from real countries-- er, I mean, ahem, mainland scum -- waiting for me.

Iorwerth: One more thing, Sire.

King Henry: Yes?

Iorwerth: We, the Mighty Men of Wales, have decided that our alliance will be better served with more local autonomy. Hence we are cancelling our vassalization... Henry. [Court gasps in horror] Long live Free Wales! Fish and Iron!

King Henry: [Leaps to his feet, fully purple with rage] And this is how you repay Our generosity!? You, you -- welsher!

[And thus an ethnic slur is born]

King Henry: This means war! We will burn your itty-bitty nation to the ground! Except that fish province, that one'll probably just smoulder. Advisor!

EA: Sire?

King Henry: Prepare messages to our army-which-outnumbers-the-entire-population-of-Wales! [glares at Iorwerth] Wales must be destroyed!

Iorwerth: One more thing, O King of England.

King Henry: [Simmering with fury] Out with it!

Iorwerth: When faced with an outside threat, brothers must cease their petty squabbles and stick together. Our nation is being attacked by perfidious Albion. I'm invoking our mutual-defense treaty, my royal brother.

King Henry: Why you--

Iorwerth: "If anyone says, 'I love God,' yet hates his brother, he is a liar. For anyone who does not love his brother, whom he has seen, cannot love God, whom he has not seen" [1]

King Henry: [Furious, but trapped] Alright, we'll settle your hash later. Advisor!

EA: Sire?

King Henry: Re-route the troops! I want a full-fledged assault on perfidious Albion! Smash them into the ground!

EA: But Sire--

King Henry: Silence! I have spoken! My word is law!

EA: [desperately] Sire, *we* are perfidious Albion! We've just declared war on ourselves.

King Henry: [Thoughtfully] Oughta be a good match...

Iorwerth: Your Majesty, this is a civil war, which is, is -- treason! As the only King present not a citizen of the enemy, to wit, perfidious Albion, I must demand you place yourself under arrest in the name of the English Alliance.

King Henry:
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But -- but --

Iorwerth: [piously] It's the only way.

King Henry: But -- I mean --

Iorwerth: Wait! I think I see a way out of this...

EA: Please, Your Majesty, we cannot be without our King.

Iorwerth: What if England makes peace with Albion? Then there is no more civil war, and King Henry is free!

King Henry: [Vastly relieved] Very well! I declare a white peace!

Iorwerth: Excellent. As you are the alliance leader, the peace you make is binding on the whole alliance, yes?

King Henry: [Indignant] Well of course! "The world proposeth, England disposeth!"

Iorwerth: Therefore Albion has made peace with all members of the English alliance, including Wales. I think our business here is done. [bows]

King Henry:
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Iorwerth: With your permission, Majesty.

King Henry: Hey, wait! Does this mean we have a five-year truce?

Iorwerth: Technically, Your Majesty, Wales has one with Albion but not England. Don't worry, if they should attack you again, we have your back, regardless. As your staunchest ally, we can do no less.

[Iorwerth bows, exits. King Henry rubs his temples.]

King Henry: Advisor, what just happened here?

EA: I'm ... not sure, Sire. These Welshmen always give me a headache. Um ... just as well you in your sagacity converted the vassalization into an alliance, so we can jettison them at need.

King Henry: I did? I thought it was Iorwerth's idea.

EA: I assumed you were manipulating him, Sire.

King Henry: Um ... I mean, of course I was. [Laughs heartily] All is going according to plan. Yes. But make sure you check the suite Iorwerth stayed in. Damn Welshers steal everything. If he raided the mini-bar he pays!

[exeunt. CURTAIN]

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Game notes:

This got a little confusing. I started off as England's vassal, which is clearly unacceptable. So I made an alliance with them (relationship up near 200!) and then cancelled the vassalization, hoping that the alliance would stop them from attacking. So far it has, though they do have a CB on me, and cores on my lovely provinces. We are quite nervous about this. Hopefully they'll be dissuaded by my fearsome allies (ahem) Inglaterra, Ying-Guo, and Angleterre. ;)

NB: The part about the civil war was just for color. There is no truce between E and W, sadly.

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Footnotes:

[1] (1 John 4:20).
 
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