Rules of CK II A.I.-Rage Rules Welcome

[DukeDrunken]

1- A Hostile Army can and will cross three counties before you can leave the one you are in.

2-The speed of the movement of a hostile army is directly proportional to how much they outnumber you by.

3-What the Byzantines want the Byzantines get.

4-A duke with a levy of 1300 will NOT raise his levy's even if only 500 hostile men are besieging his King and Lieges capital.

5-Said duke will raise his entire levy if allied with someone you are fighting though, his army will sail past the armies besieging his king to fight you because you hold one to many duchies.

6-Any A.I. King/Sultan/Khan etc. that you marry your daughter off to WILL die OR your daughter will die before any benefit is to be gained by said alliance.

7-Any given A.I. will be at war indefinitely if said A.I. is holding a title you want to Usurp.

8-Titles you want to create WILL ONLY be available when you do not have enough gold for them and your liege conveniently does.

9-Your brothers/uncles/aunts would rather become vassals of an infidel than become your vassals again after a Gavelkind split.

10-Norse blooded (looking) characters WILL find a way into your lands even if you are the King of Australia.

11-Your vassals will sit by with a full levy waiting for your army to be decimated by a hostile army

12-Your vassals will only use their armies if such use is directly opposed to you and or your goals. The same applies to the other dukes/counts of your liege.

13-You are not allowed to interact with court NPC's that flee your holdings but they can and will be able to plot from where they are no matter how far they are from your realm.

14-The ONE courtier that has a 100 opinion of you will be plotted against by someone that is A: out of your court and B: has a negative opinion of you.

15-A.I. can and will spawn armies at will

16-A.I. armies can and will teleport over a county or two if the need to lower your war score arises


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Feel free to add some, I will as they come to mind.

 

[Exasperation]

Despite having more event troops than the Byzantines have levies and retinues combined, Hungary will only leave its de jure borders to attack the player.

Despite having a combined faction strength of 1156% of liege, the leader of the independence faction will wait to trigger the faction until just after you are blackmailed into leaving it.

 

[DukeDrunken]

Despite having more event troops than the Byzantines have levies and retinues combined, Hungary will only leave its de jure borders to attack the player.

Despite having a combined faction strength of 1156% of liege, the leader of the independence faction will wait to trigger the faction until just after you are blackmailed into leaving it.

Oh dear it's as if you read my mind. My last playthrough, (the one that inspired my above post), was as a vassal of the Hungarian King.

 

[TL_]

19. When you conquer a county that could only raise 500 troops in its own defense, there will surely be a 4,000-man uprising less than a month later.

 

[TheArkayn]

20. Liberation revolts 1-35 are just warm-ups.

 

[Yuiiut]

21. 10 Test Dynasty
20 If Dynasty = Karling GOTO 30
30 Set Fertility 300% Set Health 10
22. Also, if a revolt, especially a major one, can happen on an island, forcing you into a amphibious invasion, it will. Or at least that's what by 5 Norwegian liberation revolts, all on shetland, all between 10K to 17K men, have lead me to believe.

 

[Hvymtlboy]

10-Norse blooded (looking) characters WILL find a way into your lands even if you are the King of Australia.

I feel this way about non-Norse portraits ending up in my Norse empire.

 

[Knightfall52]

24. A weaked big blob out of troops and money is not a valid target to dogpile, the 3 province minor that the player just declared war at is.
25. +29 relations means its better for me to give up my titles than accept a religious conversion.
26. Its not that i want to rebel, its that i have to since our relations arent high enough.
27. Granting land to dynasty is of less import than granding land to generated characters.

 

[Zqrfmb]

28. In a large realm, just hold one county in every corner of it, rather than consolidating power.

 

[milkan]

29. Your Genius strong son will always die just before he inherits the throne but the AI will get kings/emperors with super traits like there is no tomorrow!

 

[General Karthos]

30. Geniuses are made of paper maché. Imbeciles are immortal.

 

[DukeDrunken]

31-Always Bank on some random ruler to keep the mercenaries you can afford on permanent assignment.

 

[Black Conqueror]

32-Something will always go wrong whenever you are about to succeed in your 400 year long master plan.
33-Your vassals will only declare independence when the Mongol Hoards/Half of Europa is currently burning your capital to the ground.
33.5-Revolts will only spawn when your main army is bogged down in Conquest of Nowhere #235 and promptly FLT-flee from your army.
34-Vassals will always revolt just before you hold a Grand Tourney and/or Great Blot/Feast/other opinion improving event.
35-Your allies will NEVER accept your call to arms, the Karling alliance however, will last as long as a single *(%*(%W*(%!*(@R#*(^ Karling owns at least 5 cm of land.
36-When the gods smile upon thee and bless you with many genius/strong/quick/whatever children, you will watch each and every one of them DIE before they can take their rightful place as Supreme Ruler of this Earth

 

[klopkr]

Despite having more event troops than the Byzantines have levies and retinues combined, Hungary will only leave its de jure borders to attack the player.

Despite having a combined faction strength of 1156% of liege, the leader of the independence faction will wait to trigger the faction until just after you are blackmailed into leaving it.

You and i must be playing different games because unless hungary is put down they will blob endlessly until they can reform tengri.

 

[Cuthuthulu]

37 - AI armies always know when to retreat so that they leave the county exactly 1 day before you arrive.

 

[Yuiiut]

Negative traits will be passed on in the players line if at all possible. If non can be inherited, some of your children will be born with them randomly. These traits will improve health, however, by 5, making the bastards immortal. Meanwhile, inheriting a positive trait, even if both the parents have it, is only possible for 5% of the players daughters.

 

[Exasperation]

You and i must be playing different games because unless hungary is put down they will blob endlessly until they can reform tengri.

This happened two of the last four times I played. Once I neighbored them (Ruthenia), and they were completely peace loving except for declaring a county conquest on me every time their truce with me ended. The other time I didn't border them, and they took all of de jure Hungary, then just sat there and never did anything for about a century, with the largest army in the world by about 8-10k troops. (The other two games I was nowhere near them, so I wasn't paying any attention to what they were doing.)

 

[DukeDrunken]

38-It does not matter if your characters martial skill is -10 your liege in his infinite wisdom will have you leading some of his troops

 

[Exasperation]

If you are playing as a pagan kingdom and a neighboring pagan kingdom loses its entire miltary in an ill-advised war, all of your duke-level vassals will take it in turn to subjugate that neighbor, thereby removing their duchies from your kingdom and adding them to your neighbor. Then a faction will return the original ruler to power.

 

[Mike Louis]

From my personal mod:

If you're playing as the restored Kingdom of Israel and your armies are busy putting down vassal/religious revolts, the Pope/Caliph will call a crusade/jihad against you no matter how strong or weak they are. Also if you built up cities in your coastal provinces, the Scythian Amazons will raid them, using them as their ATM.