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Ayeshteni

Jehanne's Slave
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Jul 31, 2002
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Version: Vanilla DD Armageddon with different skins, my colourscales and the New Nations Mod.

Welcome to a miniAAR. Why a MiniAAR? This is more a documentary of my current game which I thought I would share with the community. Its not an epic, its not an engaging story with likeable and hateful characters. Its not even well writen in flowery or historical text.

No.

Its a game, with summaries and a set of screenshots.

Just to show how much I suck at this game.

Now some of you may (likely not) have remembered my first AAR report as I played Germany and inched my way towards Moscow in excruciatingly slow time. It was humorous in nature (as this likely will be) and was inspired by a set of posts in the HoI2 expansion subforum. This is no different - it is inspired by screenshots of failure posted in the Awesome Screenshots thread.

So without further ado.

The story so far.

I am playing the British Empire, whos reign spans the continents. The usual Road to War ensues from the 1936 Scenario.

Relatively few surprises leading up to 1941-1942. One interesting note however is my silly idea to get the victorious Republic of Spain (who won the SCW) into my alliance. This would have repercussions when war started as the Germans steamrollered them and took Gibralter.

But why the negative title to the AAR I hear you ask? Surely loosing Gibralter isn't THAT much of a big deal?

Well it was.

Most of my Army is on the Egypt-Libya border failing to push back the Italians. Racking up some nice experience, but no land.

I get a pop-up report.

"We have lost a battle in Norwich..."

And the Road to failure begins......
 
screensave0ei5.jpg


I had taken control of the Norwegian Armies and failed to hold back the German Alpinjaegers. Norway followed history and was duly annexed. As it turned out, those same German troops were the ones who spearheaded the attack on Old Blighty and gained a foothold in East Anglia.

With only One mobile Army Infantry unit in Britain (the rest failing miserably against the Italians in Africa), the Homelands were doomed. The Airforce and Navy were sent to Scapa Flow and an emergency build of plain Infantry was started. On hindsight, a mix of militia and Infantry would have been best; The militia to be build as quickly as possible and to delay the Germans so the Infantry could be built. As it was the Infantry were to late and finished their completion in India.

Reinforcements from Africa were impossible due to the Germans holding and closing Gibralter.

The ships you see swarming around Scotland in the screenie are the Royal Navy fleeing to India.

A plan of action was needed.

A Plan so cunning it involved octopusses (actually it didn't but it was so cunning you could pin a tail on it and call it one.)

But as octopusses don't have tails, make of it what you will.

screensave1vi0.jpg


Step 1: Ignore this and pretend it didn't happen. Await the brilliant USA AI to bring in troops to old Blighty for an invasion of France. Shouldn't take long, just as soon as they join the war. Oh yes, and rely on the Soviet AI to push Germany back in the East.

screensave2vl9.jpg


Step 2: Ignore Libya, its worthless desert. Pull the troops back to the bottleneck at El Alemain and hold. Half the troops will be sent to India for Step 3. The rest will protect the Suez Canal, El-Alemain and Alexandria.

screensave3sw4.jpg


Step 3: Hold India against the erm weak, very er weak Japanese. And er, that shouldn't be too difficult after all, I mean, they aren't proper civilised people are they, what threat can they possibily be to erm... *gulp*.

Piece of cake.

So, lets have a rundown.

The date of these screenies are June 1942. The Homeland has fallen, I am still policing the Libya-Egypt border and I am looking over the vast Japanese holdings in Asia with utter dread.

Japan has annexed all of China and decided not to puppet them but to rule them directly. Germany declared war on Yugoslavia, whom they quickly annexed and allowed them and Italy to hump the Greeks.

My forces in Africa are being bombed to dogfood and all my convoys are conducting surveys of the ocean floor from distressingly close range.

But hey, most of my army, navy and airforce are still intact.

The Soviet Union has declared war on the Germans. HUZZAH!!! Things are looking up.

Thus ends the 'Awesome Screenies Thread' contributions..

Surely history will redeem itself and the evil Fascists will be crushed.

...

Surely?
 
Oh, this will be fun to watch for sure... :D :p
 
For the love of the Gods, change the colours!

Otherwise, I'm looking forward to this. As yo still hold the Suez, maybe its time to pull out of Africa and into India?
 
Well, I surely hope that Britannia would conserve some land at the end of the game. Ruling the waves it's surely pleasant but with only the waves left all will become pretty shaky.
 
Another update (as I have a bit more material since the last screenshots)

My dissertation be damned. :eek:o

Implementation of 'The Plan'.

Step 1 was acheived with absolute lightening speed. Britain was quickly wiped from...memory.

Step 2 was put into action!

screensave4qh5.jpg


The Glorious Great Rush to El Alamein was acheived!! Encountering no resistance whatsoever it proved to be one of the great victories of the campaign.

Transports from India moved into the Suez Canal and experienced units were extracted to the Japanese-Indian border.

Such was the success of the campaign that in September the Finns decided that the Nazis were ikky and sided with the Soviets instead!

screensave5rn3.jpg


Never seen THAT event before!

Of course while the Finns may have been impressed, my Iraqi allies were not. In the preceeding month of August, history did repeat itself. Iraq turned out to be a thorn in the British side, turning Fascist and inducing Syria to declare War on me. The grand number of troops I had in the Holy land could be counted on the fingers of a fish. So 5 divisions were taken from El-Alamein into Palestine and proceeded to hump the Syrians. This screenie shows my Syrian puppet and my victorious troops withdrawing back to Jerusalem.

screensave6qh1.jpg


Whats this!? A success. You becha. This Dawg ain't dead yet.

screensave7gw5.jpg


Oh yeah. Things are indeed looking up. The Yankie IC is mine! All Mine!!!!!!!!

screensave8ez6.jpg


Bugger.

screensave9nk0.jpg


Oh yeah. Things are looking up. The Yankie Troops are here! They're Mine. All Mine!!!!!!!!

screensave10lf6.jpg


Bugger.
 
Thanks all.

It should prove to be entertaining in its failure at least I hope.

@HW: yup, troops were moved to India. The colorscales stays I am afraid. Consider it another failure. :D

Aye.
 
This is hilarious.
 
Scary colours =O Nice aar =D
 
Short and concise writing, perfect for a guy who doesn't have much time on his hands (ie, me). I'll be reading :D
 
a failiAAR, very nice. germany actually conducted sealion of it's own accord? thats a turn up... this is good n funny, keep it up.
 
Those colours are... interesting...
Anyway, looks like everything will turn out good after all!
Wait, sorry, wrong AAR.
Yeah, you lost... England.
Well, I guess you still have a small chance? We believe in you and all of your failures!
 
Of all games I've seen and played, this must be the first time I see AI Germany conquer Britannia :p This, amongst other things make this AAR brilliant reading :D

Btw, watching your log it seems you loose huge amounts of convoys all the time... How many you got left?
 
Wow.... that's the closest you can be to being screwed while still having a chance. ;)