Too much drinking damages the liver, too much talking makes your head fall off it you say the wrong things.
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Road of Queens - CKII India AAR
- Thread starter Eurasia
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Crusader Kings 2 - The Road of Queens
Chapter Eight Hundred-Fifty-Nine : David Of The House Fisher - Part Seven
Chapter Eight Hundred-Fifty-Nine : David Of The House Fisher - Part Seven
The Bard finished his mug of ale and wiped his lips clean with one of his sleeves. He winked at the crowd, strummed his lute, and continued his tale of the Duke of Hudson.
“The Duke, while training the King's men, was told the walls of his Castle at Poughleepsie could be improved on,” he said with a bright smile. “And it would only cost him about seventy gold coins in lumber, stone, labor, and other materials. He authoirzed the upgrade.”
“Of course,” the Bard added, “The Steward was sent to oversee the work on the walls.”
“To the east his neighbors continued their little conflict,” the Bard pointed out. “The Duke found this amusing. It meant they would likely be occupied for the next few months.”
“By November the Duke decided that giving his wife a gift might help their relationship,” added the Bard. “He wasn’t greedy but his Religion, and his nature, make him a tad tightfisted. So he found the cheapest gift amoung the local tradesmen and sent it to her.”
“A few days later he was rewarded with the news that she was pregnant,” the Bard remarked. He strummed his lute with a joyful movement of his right hand.
“By now his wife, the Duchess, seemed to have a higher opinion of her husband,” he pointed out. “The attention from him seemed to have softened her towards him. No doubt being knocked up helped calm her down a little. Females always settle down after they pop out a baby or two.”
The Empress and the Princess glared at him.
“As she was in such a good mood the Duke decided to stop trying to sway her and to start trying to sway Tevye of Rockland,” continued the Bard. “Who still hated the Duke’s guts.”
“A few days after that the Duke received news from the Duchess that she was pleased with his kind gift,” said the Bard. “At least, now, his wife held a positive opinion of her ugly and weak husband.”
The Bard glanced at his empty mug.
“Water!” the Empress called out to the Bard’s annoyance.
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Water? Not even Juice? I do not think swaying will work with -100! Thank you for update
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Crusader Kings 2 - The Road of Queens
Chapter Eight Hundred-Sixty : David Of The House Fisher - Part Eight
Chapter Eight Hundred-Sixty : David Of The House Fisher - Part Eight
The Bard tasted the water given to him and frowned. Was it well water or river water?
The Bard sighed, plucked at his lute, and continued with his tale.
“By mid December of the year 2667 AD the Duke decided to have a Great Feast,” started the Bard with a graceful strum of his lute. “So the Duke started looking for entertainers for the Feast.”
“A conjurer did tricks with a rabbit and a hat, made a handkerchief change color, and at one point disappeared and reappeared in the next room,” said the Bard. “Of course the Duke hired him for the Feast.”
“On the other hand when a troupe of wandering jongleurs arrived at the castle he decided NOT to hire them,” added the Bard. “Not all entertainers were worth hiring.”
“Then was the best part of planning a Feast-”
“Wine selection?” broke in the Empress with a sip of some imported Greek wine.
“No, well, kind of,” remarked the Bard. “Creating the menu. Of course, being somewhat tightfisted, he decided to not spend too much on the food.”
“Now with many of the preparations already being worked on the Duke now sent out the invites,” added the Bard.
“Two of his vassals down right refused the invites,” remarked the Bard. “And they were somewhat insulting about it too. Bishop Nicholas of Spackenkill was one of them. The other was, of course, Tevye of Rockland.”
“The Duke understood Tevye’s refusal but not the Bishop’s refusal,” added the Bard. “All evidence suggested the Bishop approved of his Liege. And therefore his insulting reply was troubling.”
The Bard stopped to rest his voice and playing hand for a moment before continuing.
“The Duke then received news from the south, from Florida, where a Jihad had been declared,” continued the Bard. “The Duke wondered how the House of Mouse would handle such an invasion.”
“By late January the Castle was ready, the food was ready, and the staff was ready,” added the Bard. “The guests came and the Feast had begun.”
The Bard sipped his water to help clear his throat.
And so this chapter ends with the start of a Feast from the future.
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As some jugglers are not worth a few coins, some bards are valued less than a mug of cider. Jihad Florida! Oh, what will poor Mortimer and Minerva do? Will Buzz Lightyear from Pluto in time to save the day? What a Goofy war? Thank you for updating
Oh, what will poor Mortimer and Minerva do? Will Buzz Lightyear from Pluto in time to save the day? What a Goofy war? Thank you for updating- 1
Donald the Duck's reaction:As some jugglers are not worth a few coins, some bards are valued less than a mug of cider. Jihad Florida!
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Crusader Kings 2 - The Road of Queens
Chapter Eight Hundred-Sixty-One : David Of The House Fisher - Part Nine
Chapter Eight Hundred-Sixty-One : David Of The House Fisher - Part Nine
“As the guests arrived,” continued the Bard, “they were greeted with warm bread, fried chicken, mashed potatoes, and their choice of birch beer or cool lemonade with mint.”
“What are potatoes?” asked the Princess looking somewhat confused.
“Eh…let us move on,” remarked the Bard.
“The conjurer the Duke hired pleased many of the guests,” the Bard said with a strum of his lute. “And the man even made the Duke’s crown disappear to be replaced a jester’s hat.”
“Then something happened that was horrible,” said the Bard with a sad shake of his head. “The Mayor Brom of Wynantskill killed one of the male Servants for spilling wine on him. Not even good wine either. The cheap stuff.”
“Of course the Duke had to do SOMETHING. Can’t have people killing Servants! Nobody would want to work for him,” continued the Bard. “So he had the Mayor arrested!”
“So the Mayor of Wynantskill ended up in jail as the Duke became known for being a Just man,” added the Bard. “Funny enough the Mayor still somewhat liked the Duke.”
“Due to the man's arrest this left a few openings among the Minor Titles,” pointed out the Bard. “Some had just not been filled before this. So while this guests ate their chicken and enjoyed the limeade he went to work giving out titles to some of them.”
“Well, to be honest, the first Title, that of being his Regent, went to a man who had NOT come to the Feast,” admitted the Bard. “Nicholas of Spackenkill. Who was also the Court Physician.”
“He also gave the Master of the Horse to the Mayor of Fishkill,” the Bard added. “And made the Bishop of Troy his Cupbearer. And made Ichabod, one of his Commanders, the Court Tutor.”
“By late February,” the Bard added with a strum of his lute, “the Feast came to an end and the guests left. Most left happy and well fed. And some left with new titles to their names and very happy. Even the Duke had fun during the Feast.”
At that point the Bard looked at his empty mug and looked sad.
The Princess sighed in pity and said, “Give him some fruit juice!”
So the Duke’s Feast ended while the Imperial party continued.
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Author’s Notes:
OOC : Only afterwards did I notice I had make Ichabod the tutor. You know, Ichabod, the teacher from the Legend of Sleepy Hollow?
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Bard's story is pretty long, half of the guests are probably asleep already xd
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The Tutor will not teach riding. Can Frasier become mental health advocate for a flock of cranes? Fruit juice beats pond water. Thank you for updating
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Ducks, Spartans, Americans, this bard really travels the world and dimensions beyond ours. Are you sure he isn't a certain doctor in disguise?
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Time Lord or not it does help break up the main story and give me a little break.
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Lesser mortals might have started secondary AAR's, but you're actually integrating them into the strange mythology of stories told around the fire in India ca. 933 AD. I can only encourage you to go all the way and turn this into some sort of weird in-universe religious sect , or alternatively, something like the MCU...
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Crusader Kings 2 - The Road of Queens
Chapter Eight Hundred-Sixty-Two : David Of The House Fisher - Part Ten
Chapter Eight Hundred-Sixty-Two : David Of The House Fisher - Part Ten
The Bard tasted the fruit juice, which was a tad too sweet, and continued with his tale of the Duke.
“By March the Duchess Loretta of Hudson Valley was requesting some older women to keep her company and help her keep her mind off her pregnancy,” said the Bard. “The Duke was against this. Mostly due to not wishing to pay for it. But also believing that a wife should not waste her time with gossip and should use her time for chores like sewing and needlework.”
The Bard strummed his lute as the Empress and the Princess glared at him.
“In June the Duchess gave birth to a baby boy she named Ernest,” added the Bard. “Ernest Davidszoon of the House Fisher.”
“The boy was sickly, like his father, but if he was to live he needed a education,” continued the Bard. “So the Duke decided the boy would learn his Heritage for the first stage of his schooling.”
“The neighbors to the east were still fighting,” added the Bard. “The Pagans were close to winning.”
“Then, for some reason, after his wife had his baby, the Duke was nicknamed the ‘Chaste’. He felt a tad insulted,” said the Bard. “After all the work he had done to make a baby!”
The Bard stopped to sip his fruit juice as the Empress and Princess continued to glare at him.
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Author’s Notes:OOC: It is kind of sus to be Anabaptist and NOT have a lot of babies. Just saying.
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Hey Eurasia can you tell how, approximately, chapters of America before returning to India? I'm starting to forgot how the world there actually looks like. I only remember Aztec Roman Empire and Hindu Mongol Empire
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Don't know. I am playing till he wins a war and a new title. Then we switch back.Hey Eurasia can you tell how, approximately, chapters of America before returning to India? I'm starting to forgot how the world there actually looks like. I only remember Aztec Roman Empire and Hindu Mongol Empire
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The bard is playing a very dangerous game... I wouldn't be surprised if this ends very badly for him in the end.
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Crusader Kings 2 - The Road of Queens
Chapter Eight Hundred-Sixty-Three : David Of The House Fisher - Part Eleven
Chapter Eight Hundred-Sixty-Three : David Of The House Fisher - Part Eleven
The Bard strummed his lute to make sure it was still in good shape and continued the tale. The fruit juice had helped a little in giving him some more sugar fueled energy.
“By mid August the Castle of Poughkeepsie’s Walls had been updated,” started the Bard.
“As the Steward was finished helping with the Walls the Bishop was ordered to help collect taxes from the locales,” he added.
“Around that time the Duchess came down with an illness,” said the Bard with a sad strum of his lute. “The Duke was informed that she was suffering with dysentery. So the Duke called for his own Physiscian to help her.”
“Then the Duke decided to send the Court Chaplain to Rockland,” remarked the Bard. “The lands under his Rule were not all of one Religion and the other beliefs needed to be stomped out. Or at least many of them needed to be converted.”
“Most of the people in the Kingdom were of the Christian sect of Anabaptist believers,” added the Bard. “But part of the Kingdom was also of the Jewish sect of Haredi, like those in Rockland. And there were the Pagans called Occultists who were a strange group. They believed in Elder Gods…or Elder Things. It is hard to explain.”
“For once you can’t explain something? How weird!” The Empress smirked.
The Bard just strummed his lute at her.
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Thank you for the update. The Occult is the Unexplainable. The Occult will change as knowledge is gained.
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