Capellan said:Well I already released ChiCom, remember
Puppets are definitely on the cards. Forward the Communist International!
Good, puppets are pleasing to me
.-
We have updated our Community Code of Conduct. Please read through the new rules for the forum that are an integral part of Paradox Interactive’s User Agreement.
Good, puppets are pleasing to me
.
In the first month of 1941, the Red Army and their co-belligerents ("allies" is such a strong word) the French put the final nails in Herr Hitler's coffin, meeting on the outskirts of Berlin. The city itself fell to a lightning lunge by the Soviet cavalry : yet one more example of the superiority of mounted troops over outdated infantry or new-fangled 'motorised' units.
With the army now at a loose end in Europe, Stalin briefly considered redeploying a vast array of troops to Siberia, to aid in the pacification of the perfidious Japanese. But that would take a long time, and sooner or later (let's be honest, probably sooner) he was going to need those troops back in Europe. So he decided not to.
Of course, this didn't mean the men had to be idle. Idle Russian troops would probably just hock their horses for vodka and get falling-down drunk. And the only one allowed to be falling-down drunk while making military decisions was Stalin.
The Soviet course was clear. Operation "You Go, Slavs!" was put into effect:
The Yugoslavian armies quickly collapsed under the massive Soviet assaults. Greece, which had foolishly declared war in support of Yugoslavia, fared no better. Within a few weeks, the Red Army had conquered the entire Balkan peninsula.
With his furry-browed eyes on the inevitable war with the decadent western empires of Britain and France, Stalin also ordered his troops to secure the oil fields of the middle east.
Massively outnumbered, and using outdated equipment, the Persian defences melted as fast as those of Yugoslavia. However, when Stalin heard reports that the Persians had fielded cavalry units in their army; a trait which demonstrated a laudably socialist approach to warfare; he resolved to be generous in his peace settlement. Thus, once Tehran fell, he appealed to the Persian people "In the spirit of socialist brotherhood" to cast off the chains of their current regime. The proposal was gratefully accepted by every Persian socialist (yes, both of them) and the People's Republic of Iran was formed.
Throughout these actions, the western nations stood by without intervening. Perhaps they were too afraid to face the mighty Soviet army, perhaps they simply did not realise the looming danger. Perhaps both.
Whatever the case, their was one nation which recognised the threat that Stalin's ever-increasing power represented. One nation that had the pride and the confidence to make a stand. One nation that would not be cowed:
Stalin had a lot of sleepless nights after that, let me tell you!
With the army now at a loose end in Europe, Stalin briefly considered redeploying a vast array of troops to Siberia, to aid in the pacification of the perfidious Japanese. But that would take a long time, and sooner or later (let's be honest, probably sooner) he was going to need those troops back in Europe. So he decided not to.
Of course, this didn't mean the men had to be idle. Idle Russian troops would probably just hock their horses for vodka and get falling-down drunk. And the only one allowed to be falling-down drunk while making military decisions was Stalin.
The Soviet course was clear. Operation "You Go, Slavs!" was put into effect:
The Yugoslavian armies quickly collapsed under the massive Soviet assaults. Greece, which had foolishly declared war in support of Yugoslavia, fared no better. Within a few weeks, the Red Army had conquered the entire Balkan peninsula.
With his furry-browed eyes on the inevitable war with the decadent western empires of Britain and France, Stalin also ordered his troops to secure the oil fields of the middle east.
Massively outnumbered, and using outdated equipment, the Persian defences melted as fast as those of Yugoslavia. However, when Stalin heard reports that the Persians had fielded cavalry units in their army; a trait which demonstrated a laudably socialist approach to warfare; he resolved to be generous in his peace settlement. Thus, once Tehran fell, he appealed to the Persian people "In the spirit of socialist brotherhood" to cast off the chains of their current regime. The proposal was gratefully accepted by every Persian socialist (yes, both of them) and the People's Republic of Iran was formed.
Throughout these actions, the western nations stood by without intervening. Perhaps they were too afraid to face the mighty Soviet army, perhaps they simply did not realise the looming danger. Perhaps both.
Whatever the case, their was one nation which recognised the threat that Stalin's ever-increasing power represented. One nation that had the pride and the confidence to make a stand. One nation that would not be cowed:
Stalin had a lot of sleepless nights after that, let me tell you!
HONDURAS! The one enemy that cannot be defeated by cavalry!
EDIT: Sorry, I just realised that there are lots of enemies you can`t reach by horse... Honduras is the worst one though*...
*No basis for this theory, but it seems right
EDIT: Sorry, I just realised that there are lots of enemies you can`t reach by horse... Honduras is the worst one though*...
*No basis for this theory, but it seems right
Last edited:
Honduras? Oh, man. . . you better throw in the towel now, no point in going on. . .
Although Germany and her Central European allies had been overcome, the Axis was not quite destroyed. Sweden, panicked by the fierce onslaught of Soviet troops in Finland, had thrown in her lot with Germany. The Swedes fought on for a few months in this second "Great Northern War", but this was nowhere near the close contest of Tsar Peter and King Charles. Soviet troops pushed deep into Scandinavian peninsula in a war of socialist liberation, while greedy French and British forces also entered the region in a shocking example of imperialist land-grabbing.
Shortly after the final defeat of Sweden, a delegation of Polish socialists appealed to Stalin to create an autonomous Polish SSR. Stalin was initially unsure about the idea, but then the Poles promised to raise dozens of regiments of Uhlans to serve alongside their Soviet masters ... uh, "brothers". Delighted to meet fellow horse-fanciers (no, not like that, you sickos) Stalin acceded to their request.
Thus was born the People's Republic of Poland, a brand new state. Stalin refused to return Eastern Poland ("West Ukraine") to this new state, but recompensed the Poles by handing them a chunk of Prussia instead. After all, the Germans didn't need it.
Was the world grateful for this act of kindness? No, they were not. Venezuela and Peru responded by declaring war on the Soviet Union. Who knew that South Americans hated Poland so much?
But the Poles were far from the only people crying out to be granted a socialist paradise in which to make a brighter future. Stalin felt deeply for the poor peoples of Scandinavia, many of whom languished under brutal Allied occupation. And then there were the Germans, who had merely had to the misfortune to be led by a madman, and now paid for it under the Napoleonic jackboot of France.
There was only one thing for it, and at dawn on 1 May 1941, the order went out: WAR!
A tidal wave of Soviet cavalry swept forward. French forces collapsed before the onslaught like ... well, like they normally do, actually. Superior Soviet military technology (horses ought to be on the secret weapons tech tree!) quickly threw the Allies back to the Rhine.
Stalin, once more demonstrating his generous and forgiving nature, issued orders for the creation of a new Socialist German Republic. He suggested that Rosa Luxembourg be made the new nation's ambassador in Moscow, since he remembered her as a bit of a looker, and was very disappointed to find out she'd been dead for twenty years.
That Stalin: always has his finger on the pulse.
There was no time for the Red Army to rest on its laurels, however. The great offensive in Europe continued. France was rapidly overrun, and by September, Stalin was ready to settle an old score:
Franco's fascists had embarrassed the Soviet Union when they won the Spanish Civil War, and Stalin intended to pay them back in full.
Of all things, it was this declaration of war against an oppressive and violent regime that finally woke the United States from its slumber. If Stalin needed any more proof that the American government was the leader of reactionary counter-revolutionary hatred for socialism, now he had it.
Even as the war progressed smoothly in Europe, Stalin opened an Asian front: recalling the units loaned to China to Red Army control, he ordered them into Indochina. Other offensives were launched through Afghanistan (without much regard for how the Afghanis felt about it).
The cause of the rapid Allied collapse in Europe quickly became apparent: the UK and USA had decided to focus their efforts on saving the "Crown Jewel" of the British Empire. The Red Army would face large enemy forces. Calcutta would once more become a by-word for slaughter, as armies totalling some half-million troops clashed repeatedly over this blood-soaked ground.
By the end of the year, however, it was clear that the Red Army held the advantage.
Stalin, however, was not yet quite ready to deliver the final blow.
Shortly after the final defeat of Sweden, a delegation of Polish socialists appealed to Stalin to create an autonomous Polish SSR. Stalin was initially unsure about the idea, but then the Poles promised to raise dozens of regiments of Uhlans to serve alongside their Soviet masters ... uh, "brothers". Delighted to meet fellow horse-fanciers (no, not like that, you sickos) Stalin acceded to their request.
Thus was born the People's Republic of Poland, a brand new state. Stalin refused to return Eastern Poland ("West Ukraine") to this new state, but recompensed the Poles by handing them a chunk of Prussia instead. After all, the Germans didn't need it.
Was the world grateful for this act of kindness? No, they were not. Venezuela and Peru responded by declaring war on the Soviet Union. Who knew that South Americans hated Poland so much?
But the Poles were far from the only people crying out to be granted a socialist paradise in which to make a brighter future. Stalin felt deeply for the poor peoples of Scandinavia, many of whom languished under brutal Allied occupation. And then there were the Germans, who had merely had to the misfortune to be led by a madman, and now paid for it under the Napoleonic jackboot of France.
There was only one thing for it, and at dawn on 1 May 1941, the order went out: WAR!
A tidal wave of Soviet cavalry swept forward. French forces collapsed before the onslaught like ... well, like they normally do, actually. Superior Soviet military technology (horses ought to be on the secret weapons tech tree!) quickly threw the Allies back to the Rhine.
Stalin, once more demonstrating his generous and forgiving nature, issued orders for the creation of a new Socialist German Republic. He suggested that Rosa Luxembourg be made the new nation's ambassador in Moscow, since he remembered her as a bit of a looker, and was very disappointed to find out she'd been dead for twenty years.
That Stalin: always has his finger on the pulse.
There was no time for the Red Army to rest on its laurels, however. The great offensive in Europe continued. France was rapidly overrun, and by September, Stalin was ready to settle an old score:
Franco's fascists had embarrassed the Soviet Union when they won the Spanish Civil War, and Stalin intended to pay them back in full.
Of all things, it was this declaration of war against an oppressive and violent regime that finally woke the United States from its slumber. If Stalin needed any more proof that the American government was the leader of reactionary counter-revolutionary hatred for socialism, now he had it.
Even as the war progressed smoothly in Europe, Stalin opened an Asian front: recalling the units loaned to China to Red Army control, he ordered them into Indochina. Other offensives were launched through Afghanistan (without much regard for how the Afghanis felt about it).
The cause of the rapid Allied collapse in Europe quickly became apparent: the UK and USA had decided to focus their efforts on saving the "Crown Jewel" of the British Empire. The Red Army would face large enemy forces. Calcutta would once more become a by-word for slaughter, as armies totalling some half-million troops clashed repeatedly over this blood-soaked ground.
By the end of the year, however, it was clear that the Red Army held the advantage.
Stalin, however, was not yet quite ready to deliver the final blow.
i think the reason south america hates you is because horses dont do well in their mountains or jungle
Inordinately humourous this AAR be.
:rofl:
(btw, What's the oil-usage situation like?)
:rofl:
(btw, What's the oil-usage situation like?)
OMG!!! that was fastest thing I have seen.
Did you do this fast or are you writing this AAR only about conquests.
Did you do this fast or are you writing this AAR only about conquests.
Tskb18: Oil is fine. The USSR has such vast supplies of it that even with hordes of semi-motorised Cav I have no issues. TC is more of a concern: it's OK when I am "at rest", but if I start Strat Redeploying or put large numbers of troops on Offensive Supply, it goes red pretty fast.
Oh the image issimply to great to imagine.The_Carbonater said:then howwill it be when you come to air-cavalry?
I allready see thousands and thousands of red helicopters swarming like a great swarm of locuses ower the rest of the world while in background the rie of the Valkyres is playing. Or maby Soviet hymn.
hey i was just thinking, wouldn't making all those cavalry require a lot of horse inbreeding? just wondering. reminds me of a dave barry quote:
"Don't kick a dead horse in the mouth" (about too much inbreeding)
just wondering. reminds me of a dave barry quote:"Don't kick a dead horse in the mouth" (about too much inbreeding)