Return of the Pharaoh
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Chapter 5- Little Pharaoh
The Pharaoh gets to experience the joys of childhood.
The Pharaoh gets to experience the joys of childhood.
12 October 879
“Well, look at the bright side, my Duke. You have the wonderful years of childhood to look forward to!”
The newly announced Duke Jean and Melderick were sitting in the former office of Duke Robert. Jean had that very expression kids have when they are upset about something- which is, by the way, all the time.
“That doesn’t help me, Melderick! How can I rule my country when I’m four years old? I need to get older fast! Also, I want to find my toy horse!”
“Relax, my Duke. I heard Chancellor Boson will be your Regent until you come of age. He’s a decent and responsible man and I’m sure your rule will be secured.”
The Duke stomped his foot angrily. “But I don’t want to share my rule with anybody! I want to grow up! Being a kid is dumb!”
Melderick smiled. “Now, now, my Pharaoh. I’m afraid the only way to get there is the long way. Don’t worry, it’s just about eleven years.”
Duke Jean sneered and stormed out of the room. It was amazing how despite being allegedly thousands years old, the Pharaoh acted just like a little kid.
At first, he was amused, but then a realization hit.
He was about to spend eleven years with an immature Pharaoh.
He groaned. He almost wished for typhus to end his misery.
A sneak- peak at the Isles, just because.
28 July 880
“Hello, Chancellor Boson!”
Duke Jean approached his Regent on the castle balcony.
“Hello there, my Duke. How are you today?”
He made a pouty face. “My milk teeth are falling off….”
Boson patted him on the head. “That’s wonderful! You’ll have a man’s teeth in no time at that rate!”
“Uhh…. I hope.” He looked upon the courtyard. “How’s my realm doing?”
“Quite well, my Duke. I’ve been preparing some documents to secure your claim on Capua. They should be ready right now.”
“Uhhh, what does that mean?”
“It means you’re going to have more lands, my dear Duke.”
He decided to continue feigning ignorance. “It’s good, right?”
“Yes, my Duke. I’ve also put some of the tax money to good use by upgrading our training grounds. That way we’re going to have more troops!”
“Thanks, Regent Boson, you’re the best!”
“I’m trying, my Duke. Now, let’s go. It’s almost dinnertime.”
The Duke groaned. “Do I have to go? There’s cabbage today. I hate cabbage!”
“Now, now, young Duke, you can’t be picky in food or else you won’t grow! Now let’s go to dinner.”
5 January 881
“Greetings, my Duke.”
Melderick met Jean in the courtyard, busy poking a sleeping cat with a stick.
“Melderick! I haven’t seen you in a while.”
“I was, ah, busy. How were you, your Majesty?”
“It’s been pretty boring. Regent Boson has procured another one of these ‘claim’ things ,this time on Salerno, a city in Sicily I haven’t heard of.”
“Well, my Duke, it’s always good to learn new things. Speaking of, weren’t you supposed to start your formal education soon?”
“Yes indeed, Melderick! Regent Boson will take me up for tutoring!”
“That’s great, my Duke. May you turn out well.”
14 October 882
It’s been over a year since Duke Jean begun his tutoring under Chancellor Boson. Melderick hasn’t seen the young Duke much during that period, which he didn’t mind. Although the new Pharaoh wasn’t nearly as rude and abrasive as the old one, he constantly dragged him out to play hide- and- seek and other games and frankly, Melderick had enough of playing hide- and- seek with his wife when he comes home heavily drunk again.
This time, however, he decided to check up on him. He found him at the courtyard once again, drawing pictures in the mud with his stick.
“Hello, young Duke. How’s it going?”
Jean looked at the servant. “Ah, Melderick. I was just returning from the kitchen. Guiles and I have recently stashed away a big jar of honey!”
“Really, my Duke? Is this healthy for you?”
“Chancellor Boson says it’s not. He says that modera--- morde… not eating much is better for you. I think he’s right!”
“That’s wonderful, my Duke! The Regent and you seem to get along well, it seems…”
‘Indeed! I’ve always thought that adults are boring, but Regent Boson is really cool and he knows a lot of things! I think we might even be friends in the future!”
“That’s great! It’s good to have as many friends as you can!” Said Melderick, who had no friends at all.
“I know!” He exclaimed but soon turned upset.
“What’s wrong, my Duke?”
“It’s about my grandfather. I’ve heard the King demanded a county from him and he refused. I’m afraid something will happen to him…”
Melderick patted the Duke on the back. “We’ll see, my young Duke. We should hope he’ll succeed.”
Despite the odds being seemingly against Louis Karling, the victory of King Peppin was far from assured. While he had won the war with East Francia, a new revolt has sprung in March of 883, aiming to decrease the authority of monarchy.
King Pepin’s forces were exhausted after the last war, which has also caused a rift amongst the Karling kings. The assistance of his kinsmen in this conflict was uncertain.
In 884, Duke Jean has nominated a new Court Chaplain, the Bishop of Avignon. He was given the responsible task of maintaining good relations with the Pope.
I can’t see what could possibly go wrong in giving a bishop of Avignon a position of power.
After the initial successes, the Italian rebels were to face a significant threat- king Lothaire of Lotharingia accepted king Pepin’s call to arms, bringing his fresh armies to the conflict.
Meanwhile, Duke Jean was growing under the watchful eye of Melderick and Chancellor Boson.
25 November 884
Duke Jean and Boson have just ended their study session. Jean was as always an avid student, but he realized he’s a bit down today.
“My Duke, I must say I’m impressed by the knowledge you’ve acquired during our teachings.”
“Thank you, though I wouldn’t accomplish this without you!”
“Ah, humble as always. I can already see the potential in you.”
“Though, tell me, young Duke, is something troubling you?”
He didn’t answer, just hung his head down.
“It’s about your grandfather, isn’t it?”
“I’m worried about him. He’s been imprisoned by the King. I’m scared something bad will happen to him.”
“Now, little Duke, King Pepin has abused his power before and with that he has gained the ire of the lords. He won’t get away with everything.”
“ I hope you’re right…’
The situation on the Italian Peninsula has shifted dramatically in the last couple of months. The Island of Sicily was conquered by the republic of Amalfi, who drove away the last of the Muslims.
Meanwhile, the Italian rebels has faced their darkest hour, as the royal forces marched unopposed through their territories. Defeat seemed almost certain.
Meanwhile, Duke Jean and his court looked upon the situation. Though he remained on the royalist’s side, Regent Boson had no love for king Pepin’s heave- handed rule. Sadly, as long as Jean was merely a child, they could not act.
Speaking of Jean, he was proving to be a promising young man. Obviously, Regent Boson did not know about his darker secrets (though he was curious why does he always wear that amulet of his) but he admires the little Duke’s patience and willpower.
Meanwhile, in 885, an important matter required attention.
16 April 886
“My Duke, I’m sorry to say that but your humble servant, Marshall Leon, has passed away.”
“Awwww….. He always let me play with those funny wooden pointy things that soldiers practice with. I’ll miss him.”
“Yes, ahem….. We’ll need a replacement for him, my Liege.”
“Oh. Do you have any candidates, Boson?”
“Yes I have. Mayor Aimeric of Carpentras is an old but skilled fighter. He’ll serve you well.”
“Let it be like you say then.”
22 September 886
Melderick was walking along the castle’s courtyard, enjoying a landscape that didn’t smell of dung for a change. He stumbled upon Duke Jean, playing with rocks.
“Hello, my Duke. How are you?”
Jean sighed. “Oh, Melderick, My I’m tired of being a kid already! I want to be an adult!”
“Patience, my….. Pharaoh? How much control exactly have you got over this body?”
“I don’t know…. I seem to be in control all the time but at the same time, I feel this young form influencing me. All I can think of is games, mud and avoiding cabbage.”
“Maybe the amulet has a different effect on a younger, more flexible mind….. wait a minute, I’m still not entirely convinced about this thing. You’re not playing tricks on me, young man?”
“Don’t be ridiculous, old sod! I don’t want to play with you, you smell!”
“Now, now, with that attitude, you won’t find a suitable wife anytime soon….”
He shrugged. “Wife?! You mean, a girl? Girls have cooties, I don’t want a wife!”
“Hey, why so abrasive today?”
“My marshal has died again….”
“What, you mean he died twice?”
“No, I appointed a new marshal to replace the one that died and he died himself just a year after!”
“The nerve on these people! How dare they die when they’re needed!”
“I didn’t mean to be rude, I swear! I guess I need to practice tact some more…”
“It’s okay, my Duke. You don’t need tact when you rule….”
TO BE CONTINUED
Thanks! I was worried that I won't have much to write, as regencies aren't usually interesting. I'm glad it turned out well!
I'm back to school now, so I'm a bit tired right now. Don't worry, though, new update should be up tomorrow.
I just thought of something funny; the way the Pharaoh would react if he were stuck in a women's body.
That would indeed be interesting. And possibly hilarious.
That thing would be glorious
Really funny and enjoyin AAR
Thanks, man. Glad you're enjoying my work!
Sorry, guys, but due to a test and my general tiredness, the update had to delayed. Bear with me for a while.
Chapter 6- Get Karling’ed
War ends, kings die and young boys deal with squeaky voices. The usual stuff.
War ends, kings die and young boys deal with squeaky voices. The usual stuff.
23 February 887
It was late in the evening when Melderick was walking down the streets of Arles. The weather was fine and it was a fine day over all, only spoiled by the lingering smell of urine. Speaking of, he barely dodged a stream of refuse pouring down from a window above. A person right next to him was less fortunate.
“Sons of pigs! Piss- pouring bastards! A triple curse on you and your kinsmen!”
“People should really be careful with that stuff…” Melderick sighed and moved on. He could do little to stop the progress, which is akin to the proverbial herd of pigs. His lot in life was to clean the less proverbial dung that those pigs left behind.
He stumbled upon a small, beaten down bar on his way down the street. Since he wasn’t in a terrible hurry, he decided to come inside.
The interior looked even more miserable than his life prospects, though he decided to stay anyway. It was betting dark and a pint of beer would be really nice, even if it tasted like the afromentioned urine.
While inside, he found the last person he expected to see. Chancellor Boson himself was sitting right next to the counter, sipping beer from a mug. He decided to approach him.
“Hey there, Chancellor. I did not expect to see you here.”
“Ah, it’s you, Melderick. Yes, since our Duke has left with his mother to see the King I have more time for myself.”
“That’s all right I suppose? How’s the boy doing?” Melderick did not see Duke Jean for a few days.
“He’s all right. I’ve caught him walking on the castle walls a few days ago. The little rascal has no sense of danger!”
“I guess having a brave ruler would be good, right?”
“Indeed, though I’d prefer not having to watch him all day…. Regardless, bravery might be helpful to him, considering what’s happening in the country…”
“I’ve heard….King Arnulf have been called to the civil war, right?”
“Indeed. Though I suppose the King didn’t need the help after all. The rebels surrendered a few days ago…”
“Yeah, what can you do, though…. Oh, I almost forgot to order beer! It would pretty pointless of me to come here without it.”
The civil war in Italy has finally ended in 887. Though they have seen some initial success, the rebels were ultimately forced to accept the royalist’s superiority, mostly assured by King Pepin’s Karling allies.
It ended as it usually does- the King imprisoned the perpetrators, revoked some titles and peace was restored.
The young Duke was mostly unaffected by all this events. He spent the end of the war on the King’s court, running around and collecting bruises along with other children. However, in April, a new war has started. The despicable Tulunid sultan has declared a holy war for Sicily and King Pepin decided to join the doge of Amalfi in his struggle.
As the King was preparing to head off, Duke Jean has returned to Arles with his mother.
28 February 888
It was late in the morning and Duke Jean was sitting alone in his room. He has heard a knocking on the door and stood up to answer it. It turned out to be Melderick.
“Good morning, my Duke! I’ve brought breakfast.”
Duke Jean yawned. “Thank you….” He stopped for a while. “Wait…. What’s happening to my voice?!”
“What’s the matter, my Duke?”
“My voice! It’s all squeaky! I must me gravely ill! Quick, Melderick, call for a medic, the Ptolemid line cannot die with me!”
The Duke’s outburst caused Melderick lo laugh a bit. “Oh, my Duke, I assure you, this is perfectly normal.”
“Normal?! What do you mean normal? No one will take me seriously with a voice like that!”
“Don’t worry, it will go away in time. Every boy’s voice is changing at this age. I remember it myself, ehm, mostly….”
“What nonsense….. Well, I’ll have to get used to it….”
“Anyway, my Liege, how was your trip to the King’s court? I haven’t got a chance to ask you yet.”
“It was all right. King Pepin was mostly concerned about winning the war, though that meant that I was able to tend to myself. I’ve met quite a lot of people there.”
“I’ve heard many people praising your kindness and tact. I’m sure the trip did you some good.”
“Maybe, Melderick. I’m concerned about the recent war though.”
“Yes, with the Tulunids. Are you mad about them?”
“Bah, these upstarts are the least of my worries. We will deal with them in time. Though I would like to see King Pepin crushing them.”
“You might get lucky, my Duke. I’ve heard reports about a large Tulunid army spotted in Latium.”
“What? Have they descended from ships?”
“No, apparently they’ve walked all the way from Egypt.”
“And other rulers let them do that? How kind of them.”
Melderick sighed. “Politics, my Duke. What can you do….” He looked through the window. “Oh, I’ve remembered, I have something important to do. I’ll have to leave you alone.”
“I’ll take care of myself, Melderick. I have some duties myself as well. I’ve heard a bunch of knights have asked for shelter in my castle. I hope they can be persuaded to fight for my cause!”
“Let’s hope they will, my Liege.”
The days went by and soon Duke Jean has started to face problems bigger than his voice mutation. The year 889 started with a tragedy- Steward Richard Bosonid, a kinsman of Chancellor Boson, was killed by peasant rabble when he was out collecting a just and completely reasonable tax from the local populace.
Though it grieved him deeply, Regent Boson was forced to find a replacement. He has found one in Helie de St. Maixent, a minor Frankish noble.
At the end of the year, more grave news have reached the castle of Arles. King Pepin has sadly passed away, leaving the throne to his son, also named Pepin. Whether he’ll be able to keep the crown against greedy nobles and scheming relatives remains to be seen.
Without the King and his assistance, the Amalfians were outmatched by the Tulunids, losing the civil war and cutting short the dream of driving the Muslims out of Italy.
First signs of trouble in King Pepin III’s rule arrived in November of 890. The young king decided to start out his reign by revoking a title of one of his vassals, the Duke of Lombardy. The Duke was less than pleased and raised his flag in rebellion.
This, however, mattered little to Duke Jean. In February of 891, he has finally reached his sixteenth birthday. He was now recognized as an adult and able to rule the duchy of Provence by himself.
Regent Boson was relieved from his duties, though he was certain that the young Duke will still listen to his advice.
Despite some initial setbacks, Duke Jean was ready to regain what was rightfully his. In time…..
Hey, guys (and gals, maybe, it's the Internet after all), sorry for not updating for so long. School has caught up to me, had a busy week, that sort of stuff. Don't worry, though. I'm currently working on an episode of Naples as as soon as I' m done with that, more Pharaoh stuff follows!
{Also, I need to backup my CKII game in case a patch screws over my saves.}
Meanwhile, why don't you vote in the Q3 2014 ACA's for CKII, if you haven't already? No, it's not a plug for voting for my AAR. I wouldn't want you to vote dishonestly.
{Also, I need to backup my CKII game in case a patch screws over my saves.}
Meanwhile, why don't you vote in the Q3 2014 ACA's for CKII, if you haven't already? No, it's not a plug for voting for my AAR. I wouldn't want you to vote dishonestly.
1. Yay, a new update is coming!
2, No need to remind me. I had already voted for you.
2, No need to remind me. I had already voted for you.
Guys, sorry for the dalay yet again. I had a very busy week at school and I got sick on top of that. Don't worry, the next part should be up this weekend.
In other news, the new update caught me by surprise and I didn't have the time to do the backup of the old version. Thankfully, the save seems to work with the new patch without major issues so far.
Stay tuned!
In other news, the new update caught me by surprise and I didn't have the time to do the backup of the old version. Thankfully, the save seems to work with the new patch without major issues so far.
Stay tuned!
Chapter 7- Birds and Bees
In one’s journey from a grown boy to a man, some mounds have to be crossed. (…hah, hah, get it …?)
In one’s journey from a grown boy to a man, some mounds have to be crossed. (…hah, hah, get it …?)
3 March, 891
”Wow, there are more people here than I would imagine….”
“Indeed, sire. King Pepin sure knows how to make parties.”
Pepin Karling, King of Italy was throwing a party to celebrate his birthday and all of the dukes, Jean included, were invited to his castle. The Duke of Provence went along with Boson to the celebration. Melderick was left behind in Arles, as he was not presentable enough for such a high brow event.
“If you don’t mind, Chancellor, I’ll go look around for a while.”
“That’s fine, sire, as long as you remember why you’re here.”
Duke Jean rolled his eyes. “I’m here to celebrate the King’s birthday, right?”
“Nice try, but you have other responsibilities as well. The future of your dynasty lies in your hands, young Duke. You need to find a suitable wife.”
Jean sighed. “All right.”
He left with a frown. He wished Chancellor Boson would stop pestering him about marriage all the time. He agreed that it was important but he didn’t feel in a hurry to marry.
He passed one of the feast tables and the smell of fine dishes attacked his nostrils. He felt hungry all of a sudden but decided to eat later when he finishes looking around.
He didn’t know what was he looking around, frankly, he just wanted to think about the prospects of his upcoming adult life. He knew he has to keep his dynasty alive- he had made preparations already, all he needed was…..
He stopped when he saw something interesting- a young woman was sitting near the fireplace completely alone, reading a book. Against better judgment, he decided to approach her.
She looked about his age and had short red hair. The clothes she was wearing were very elegant, even more so than most of the noblemen here. The book she was reading turned out to be one of Aristotle’s works, virtually unknown in northern Italy- Jean read some Aristotle while under Boson’s tutorship.
“Hey there. Would you mind some company?” He started, and it wasn’t a very good start. For some reason, he decided to speak to her in Greek, maybe because of her lecture of choice.
“Hello.” She looked at him. Her eyes were light brown, not unlike her mother’s. “Not many people here speak Greek.” She frowned while speaking that. “I don’t know much languages besides that so I didn’t have the opportunity for conversation….. Oh, excuse my bad manners….. my name is Pavlina….. Pavlina Makedon.”
Jean pondered on her words. The Emperor’s daughter….. No wonder her clothes were so exquisite.
“Nice to meet you, Pavlina…… I’m Jean Ptolemid, Duke of Provence.”
“A Ptolemid? No wonder your Greek is so good.” She gave him a warm smile, causing him to blush slightly. “I heard about you back home. It’s surprising to see a member of such an old dynasty alive. You’ve ended quite far from your ancestral lands, though….”
The mention of Egypt caused Jean to flinch. A part of him, the one that caused him to go on ramblings about cats and sarcophagi from time to time was getting very upset at the mere mention. Now wasn’t the time for that, though.
“Indeed, that’s true. My father has acquired an impressive collection of Egyptian artifacts during his reign. Maybe someday, I’ll return there….”
“Maybe someday you’ll tell me about it, then?....”
They talked for a while after that about various things, from politics to art and things passing as art. Duke Jean had fun talking to her and he was unhappy to be leaving with Boson.
“So, my Duke, how was the Byzantine princess?” Boson asked when they were riding back.
“Huh, you’ve seen us talking, then? She’s all right. I had fun talking to her.” The Duke needed some time to think about an answer- they had to leave early in the morning to arrive in Arles at a reasonable time.
“I’d say she’d make a good material for a Duchess, don’t you think?” Boson inquired mirthfully. Had they been closer to each other, no doubt he would nudge him with his elbow.
“ *sigh* You’re still at it? Yeah, maybe she would, but she’s a Byzantine princess. She’s probably already engaged to some local noble, that’s what they do.”
“Actually, my Duke’ she’s available. “
Duke Jean stopped his horse.
“You’re serious?”
“Yes. Maybe if you’d talk to her about important matters, or stayed with me for a while ,you’d know that. The Emperor actually was looking for a suitable husband for her.”
“Did…. Did he find someone?”
“I have proposed you, seeing as you are young and unmarried. He said that he’ll think about it. Anyway, we should…..”
Before he could finish his sentence, Duke Jean was running back to the castle.
“*sigh* Yesterday he couldn’t be convinced to find a woman and now he’s murdering his own horse to chase her. Very well……”
17 April 891
“I can’t believe I’m really marrying a Princess….”
Duke Jean was standing on the aisle, wearing his best garments, as well as a big frilly collar for a reason unknown to no one but him.
“Indeed, my Pharaoh, you’re a lucky man!” Melderick had to be bathed (something he objected to very loudly) in order not to scare off the guests, but Jean felt he needed to include him.
Speaking of guests, his mother, the Council, including Boson, King Pepin and Emperor Basileos, along with their families and servants were present. Getting the Emperor’s permission wasn’t as hard as he thought it would be. Still, being in the extended imperial family was a lot of pressure and Jean wasn’t so sure he can meet their expectations.
“I hope I don’t screw anything up.”
“Don’t worry, sire. I’ll have wooden planks with cues in case you forget a line.”
“I thought you can’t write.”
“The cook did them for me. Speaking of him, he asked about the batch of cabbages that was lying in the basement….”
“Tell him to leave them alone! Those cabbages are crucial to the survival of the dynasty! They….” He stopped when he noticed Princess Pavlina enter the church, escorted by her father. Seeing her made almost made him forget how to breathe. She was absolutely gorgeous- her dress was absolutely fantastic and her hair were done in a way that almost defied the laws of nature.
“I’ll leave you here, my Duke. Have fun!”
She was quickly approaching him and Jean had to flex every fiber of his mind to come up with an acceptable greeting.
“Umm…. Hey…” Was all he managed to muster. He had the sudden urge to smack himself in the face. Fortunately, she didn’t seem to mind his primitive greeting. She seemed pretty flustered herself.
The ceremony went rather smoothly, much to his relief. The fact that the wedding was executed in Latin upset some members of Pavlina’s family, but that issue was easily taken care of. The wedding celebration was held in the castle, much like his father’s.
“My Duke, if you decide to have some sort of seizure, please warn me first. I have bad experiences with Dukes and weddings….”
“I’ll be sure to do that, Melderick.” Thankfully, no sudden outburst were to be had that day, other than Jean displeasure at the lack of cooked ibis on the table.
He spent most of the evening with Pavlina. During the wedding, and some time before that, he got to know her better. She possessed exceptional diplomatic skills, hampered only by her language limitations. She was also quite adept in the arts of war, which wasn’t as surprising given her Norse roots. Her stewardship skills weren’t brilliant, but Jean didn’t need much help with those anyway. Personality- wise, she seemed kind and outspoken, if a bit moody and bad- tempered, but this was true of many other women as well.
As with most good things, the celebration ended and the guests left to their chambers for well- deserved rest. Duke Jean went with his new wife back to his bedroom.
Pavlina brought most of her clothes and personal belongings before the ceremony, so she already changed into her nightdress. Duke Jean, who was sitting on the chair, noticed her slender legs and a certain he felt a weird sensation in his lower body.
“So, it’s time to go to sleep, then?”
Pavlina raised an eyebrow. “Sleep? My dear, there is still plenty of other things to do…”
Jean yawned. He really wanted to go to bed. “Like for instance?”
Pavlina sneered. She thought he was playing her for a fool, so she decided to approach him closer. “What about your dynasty, my Duke? We can’t let it die, can we?”
He looked at her with a dumbfounded expression. “Yeah, I know….. actually, can you tell me something about those kids? I’ve already bought the cabbage but I have no idea what to do with it….”
A long, awkward silence filled the room.
“…Cabbage….?”
“Indeed. I’ve heard from mother that kids come from cabbages. I bought it earlier but I don’t know how to make kids out of it…… I regret that I didn’t ask Boson about that earlier but I was embarrassed….”
Pavlina’s expression changed from mild annoyance to big, wide smile. She collapsed on the bed, laughing.
“Hahhh….. Oh, cabbage, that’s wonderful!”
Jean was really upset by that.
“What’s so funny about that?”
After a minute, she stopped laughing and stood up.
“I’m sorry, my dear, I just thought that you knew….. no matter. It seems that you’ve been misinformed, but don’t worry, that’s nothing we can’t fix…..”
“What are you…..” The Duke observed as Pavlina started fiddling with her garments.
In a moment’s notice, her nightdress hit the floor. So did Jean’s jaw.
He learned about a lot of things the following days.
27 April 891
“….Cabbage? Really?”
Boson and Melderick were quite amused after hearing Jean’s story and he wished he didn’t tell them about that.
‘Oh, my poor Duke. I must apologize, I didn’t explain it thoroughly enough. I’ve just figured that kids learn that stuff by themselves, sooner or later.”
“Though given how hard it was to find you for the last couple of days, you should know everything about that by now, eh?”
“Melderick!” The servant earned himself a smack on the head.
“Ouch, that hurt!”
“Stupidity doesn’t hurt, Melderick, which is a real shame, I must add.” Boson turned towards the Duke. “Anyway, my Duke, I see you’re frowning. Is something troubling you?”
“I’ve received a message from the King. He wants me to be his chancellor.”
“That’s a great honor, my Duke!”
“I know, I just….” He sighed heavily.
“You’re worried about not seeing Pavlina as often, right?”
“We’ve been married for a short time. I don’t want to part with her just yet.”
“You can always take her with you to the King. That way you get to spend time with her and be Pepin’s chancellor!”
“Hmm…. I didn’t think of that. Thanks, chancellor!”
“No problem. You should now focus on securing your future. Your dynasty needs an heir.”
“I know. We’re…. working on it.”
“That’s great to hear!..... Stop snickering, Melderick! Now, we won’t disturb you any more, my Liege.”
4 October 892
“Chancellor, there is a matter of utmost importance I need to discuss with you.”
Boson was approached by Duke Jean quite early in the morning, much to his surprise. The young Duke wasn’t very keen to getting up early.
“What is it, my Liege?”
“I think someone might be poisoning me.”
Boson’s eyes widened.
“Is that so, my Liege? Why would you think that?”
“I feel like the food is tasting different recently. I can’t quite put my finger on it, but I know something sinister is at work here!”
Boson scratched his chin. “Have you talked with the cook about it?”
“He said that food is checked by the taster, but he might be in this conspiracy himself!”
“Now, my Duke, there’s no need to go paranoid… Tell me, how long is it like this?”
“About five days?”
The Chancellor pondered for a bit. “Ah….. I might know the reason for it, then.”
“Really? What is it?”
“Melderick has been giving a hand in the kitchen for the past week.”
Jean gagged. “Juck! Well, at least that means I’m not being poisoned, possibly.”
“I think you shouldn’t be so worried about that.”
“Thank you, but I think until me and Pavlina will finally have a child, I can’t be fully calm. My plans cannot be ruined in such a way!”
The Chancellor nodded. He wasn’t aware of the Duke’s eccentric alter ego and to him the whole talk of Egypt was a family quirk, or possibly a desire to recreate the glory once had. Nonetheless, he decided to help Jean in any way he could, regardless of how ridiculous it might seem.
“Speaking of ‘the plan’, my Liege, I’ve received some news from the South. It seems that the city of Salerno was taken by someone else.”
“Really? By who?”
“Your family- in- law, my Liege.”
“That’s terrible news! Are the rest of our targets available at least?”
“Indeed they are. We might strike when our domestic situation clarifies.”
The year 893 began rather peacefully. The only thing bothering Duke Jean were the priests, who were pestering him all the time about his less- than- devout lifestyle.
The pestering got so bad that Duke Jean was forced to ask his friend, the Chancellor to help him deal with the problem. Unfortunately for him, Boson did not see as much harm in that as Jean did.
The same year brought the end to another conflict. The war for Burgundy was drawing to its conclusion and it seemed that the East Francian side was going to lose.
Meanwhile in Provence, a major change was announced by Duke Jean. After years of succession by Gavelkind, he decided to introduce a new succession system that would help keep the realm together. He proclaimed that the oldest living member of House Ptolemid will be legible to succeed him after his death.
Surprising no body, the rebellion of Duke Ambrosio of Lombardy has ended in defeat. The Duke ended up imprisoned.
The end of the year brought some interesting news from Iberia. The Ummayad Sultanate of Andalusia was facing some major problems, with a big Christian revolt raging in their lands. Time will tell if the Sultan can bring back peace.
17 April 894
“Good morning, my Duke! How are you today?”
Duke Jean approached Boson and Melderick, who were sitting in the office. He seemed rather pleased with himself.
“I’m fine, thank you.”
“You seem rather happy today. Anything we should know about?”
“There’s going to be an heir to the Ptolemid dynasty!”
“That’s wonderful! I told you everything’s going to be fine.”
“Thank you, Chancellor. Still, I’m a bit worried…”
“Don’t be.” Melderick tried to reassure him. “I still remember my first kid. He ran off when I wasn’t looking and got ran over by an ox cart….. wait, that wasn’t very reassuring, was it?”
“*sigh* I believe you were trying your best, Melderick. I’ll try to watch out for ox carts, then.”
4 November 894
Working as the Chancellor for the King was a tiring job and Duke Jean barely had the time for anything else. Thankfully, his wife decided to stay with him on the King’s court, which helped him cope with the overwork.
“My King, I’m happy to announce that your change in burgher tax laws was accepted by the lords of Italy.”
“Fantastic news! That means more money to realize my goals.”
Duke Jean coughed. He thought a long time of a way to convince Pepin to declare war on Egypt, and another to install him as a Pharaoh, or at least a governor. Unfortunately, this seemed unlikely.
As he was listening to the King’s another boring tirade, he heard some screams from the corridor. He though that someone was calling his name, so he excused himself from the meeting and went to investigate.
As he was getting closer to the source, it was very clear that the voice was calling for him. Furthermore, this voice was very familiar.
Just around the corner, he saw Pavlina, sitting on the floor and holding her stomach.
“Pavlina! What is happening!”
“Oh, Jean! I think the time has come!”
“The baby is coming out?! Oh, we need to act fast! I’ll get some help before it gets….” But before he managed to finish his sentence, or indeed do anything else, he fell on the floor with a loud thud.
Jean woke up in his bed a while ago, his head hurting like it was hit with a hammer. He tried to get up and investigate this situation when he reached some sort of obstacle on the side of the bed.
“Oh, you’re up already.”
It turned out to be Pavlina, lying next to him.
“Oh, Pavlina! I wondered what happened to you since….” He remembered what happened and his face turned bright red. “I’m…. sorry for being useless back then.”
“No worries. I was told many husbands lose their heads when they have their first child.” She looked upon his head, which was marked with a big bump. “Are you all right?”
“Yes, it seems…. Are you?”
“Yes, the labor went without…. Much… complications.”
“So, where is…. He or she?”
“She’s right here….” Pavlina handed him the newborn wrapped in a blanket.
“Oh, she’s beautiful…. How should we name her?”
“I thought about Constance. IS this name okay?”
“I personally prefer Cleopatra, but I suppose Constance is not bad.”
“Oh, you and your obsession with Egypt….We should probably return to Arles to show the child to the people.”
“You’re right. I’m sure the King won’t object to that.”
The birth of Constance was met with a big celebration in Arles. Finally the future of the Ptolemids was less grim.
Meanwhile, the rebels in Iberia have succeeded in defeating their former Muslim overlords.
The leader of the rebellion, Pere de Mallorca, has announced himself as the ruler of the lands wrestled away from the Ummayads.
Will he be able to hold those lands? What does the future hold for Iberia, and indeed, the rest of Europe?
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Sorry for being late, this part turned out to be longer than I anticipated. I hope that makes up for the wait.
Chapter 8- To All True Bards (and their ducks)
All resemblance of characters present to any real celebrities is completely coincidental, I swear.
All resemblance of characters present to any real celebrities is completely coincidental, I swear.
27 September 896
“Ah, another beautiful day, isn’t it, Melderick? How are you, old sod?”
Melderick was much less enthusiastic about life than Duke Jean. His back was giving him hell lately and his wife has been even worse.
“I feel like the very dung I’m gathering, sir. Now, why are you so happy today, my Lord? Oh, wait it has something to do with Pavlina, isn’t it?”
Jean flashed a dopey smile “You see….. we’re expecting another child.”
“What, again?”
“Yes. I’m surprised as well. Our daughter is barely two years old and I didn’t expect another one so early.”
“Well, can’t complain when it happened, right? Let’s hope it’ll be a boy this time.”
“This is what I hope as well, though I wouldn’t complain about another daughter.” He flashed a slightly tired smile. Thankfully, he has recovered from all the sleepless nights caused by his ‘sweet’ baby girl. Now, he didn’t sleep from whole different reasons, though that was one kind of insomnia that he could get around.
“Well, it that won’t work, you can always start working on the next one, eh?” He nudged Jean with an elbow, causing him to laugh nervously.
The scene was interrupted by Chancellor Boson.
“Oh, Chancellor! Why am I honored by your presence?”
“Greetings, my Duke. You seem very happy today.”
“Well, he’s going to have another mouth to feed, of course he’s happy!”
“Melderick! Ah…… that’s right, me and Pavlina are expecting another child.”
“Wonderful news, my Duke! We’ll celebrate later, though. There’s something you need to know.”
“Really, Chancellor? What is it?”
“I have been informed that a person calling himself a ‘bard’ is requesting an audience, my Liege.”
Jean scratched his head. “A bard? What does a bard do?”
“He’s a good -for- nothing who wails to what he calls ‘music’ like a wolf to a full moon.” Melderick offered his expert opinion.
Chancellor Boson coughed. “Indeed, they are minstrels and storytellers who travel through the countryside to entertain the folk.”
“What would he want on my court, then?..... Ah, nevermind, I guess we’ll find out ourselves?”
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“So this is this ‘bard’, then?”
Duke Jean looked at him curiously. The person was of average height, with short, slightly reddish hair and brown eyes, constantly staring intensively. His outfit was a weird mixture of leather straps, green spiked boots and colorful coat, all covered in floral patterns. Despite being in his late thirties, he dressed in a manner a senile old man would describe what young people wear, in one of those long tirades starting with ‘the youth these days…’. The bag he was wearing over his shoulder was constantly moving, drawing curious looks from the audience.
Noticing the attention, the traveler decided to introduce himself.
“It is so very nice to see you, Duke Jean! My name is Brian Adamsson, I am a travelling minstrel and a bard, at your service!” He reached out with his hand but since he did not know which of the men was the Duke, he hesitated. Jean, seeing this, decided to exchange handshakes.
“So, from what far lands do you come, my Bard?”
“I’ve heard he’s from some kind of village…” Melderick quipped. The bard did not hear this, so he just coughed.
“I come from the land in the north, my Duke. I have travelled Europe far and wide, spreading my songs throughout the countryside, giving joy to both common folk and nobles alike. I have made quite the name for myself over the years.”
“I haven’t heard of him, my Liege. He’s probably lying.”
“You haven’t even heard about all your children, Melderick. Now, be quiet. “ Boson interrupted.
“As I was saying…. I have travelled all over Europe and I have heard of a Duke in Provence who titles himself as a Pharaoh. I have decided that it will bring us all benefit if I sing songs of your praise on your court. In other words…” He bowed. “I offer my humble services to you, my Liege.”
Duke Jean looked at him. “I see…… tell me, dear Bard, what services can you provide me?”
“Why, I will entertain your courtiers and sing songs that praise your wisdom and bravery!”
“I say that’s just another mouth to feed….” Melderick whispered.
“I think that he might be useful, though he looks pretty ridiculous. More entertainment in the court is always a good thing and creating a legend around your character might be useful.” Boson argued.
“Well…… you might stay, I guess, as long as you can provide for yourself. I won’t keep freeloaders.”
“Don’t worry yourself, your Majesty! Bryan Adamsson can handle himself! You won’t regret it!”
“Well….. one more thing….. What’s that thing in your bag?” Duke Jean pointed towards the elephant in the room.
“Oh….. Oh, I almost forgot! My friend, I’m sorry!”
Bryan opened up the bag and threw the content on the floor. From inside fell a large, green- grey duck.
Melderick scratched his head. “A duck?”
“Indeed, it’s my old companion! I call him Dafydd the Duck.” He held it. “Dafydd, greet the misters!”
*QUACK*
“Hmmm…. What do you think about it, your Majesty?” Boson asked.
“*sigh* As long as you feed it yourself, you can keep it.”
Jean’s hard work was finally rewarded in December. His wife gave birth to a healthy boy named Robert, just like his late grandfather.
The boy started out a bit ill, though everyone was sure he will grow to be a successor worthy of Provence.
10 May 897
“How is your son, your Majesty?” Melderick asked when they were sitting on the terrace.
Jean flashed a tired smile. He had barely any sleep for the last couple of weeks, as both Robert and Pavlina were taking a lot of his attention at night.
Nonetheless, he didn’t let these things hold him back.
“He’s all right. The boy is growing just fine and might be starting sitting up on his own soon!”
“How exciting!” Brian quipped. “It is always joyous to see the line of such a great ruler continue, isn’t it, Dafydd?”
*QUACK!*
“Hey, singy- songy boy! You might want to clear your nose off dung when you’re finished!”
The bard scoffed. “I am just speaking as things are! Tis typical that a lowly peasant such as you won’t appreciate the truth…”
“Your Majesty, may I ask for your permission to smack this clown’s head right in?”
“Shut up, both of you! I have an important question.”
The both looked upon the Duke.
“What’s the matter, my Duke?” Melderick asked.
“It is time for me to take serious steps in strengthening my position as a ruler.”
“Don’t you have all those claims, my Liege?” the peasand inquired.
“That’s true, though I fear that my forces will be insufficient. I think I must improve my martial prowess.”
“A wise move, your Majesty.” The bard proclaimed. “I’m sure you’ll find someone who’ll educate you at the King’s court!”
“Maybe. Though I’ve heard the King is quite busy recently.”
“Ah.” Melderick said. “I’ve heard about Count Alain’s rebellion. Maybe there will be your chance to learn about war?”
“Yeah. No offence to Alain, but I personally think this uprising won’t last long.”
Frustrated, Duke Jean looked towards the vast sea.
“If only there was a bigger war. More glorious and amazing! A chance to prove myself. If only…..”
They were all interrupted by a sound of people singing.
“Did you hear that, your Majesty?”
“Indeed I did. There seems to be singing…..”
“Weird. I can’t recognize the language they are singing in…” Bryan said.
The sound was getting closer and closer.
“Wait…” Duke Jean said. “I think I can see something….”
They looked towards the sea and saw a long ship sailing across.
“A ship? I haven’t seen a vessel like that before….”
“I’ve heard a about them.” Brian said. “Long boats like those are rode by pagan warriors from the North. Vikings, I believe is what they are called.”
Melderick spat on the ground. He had heard the tales of Viking raiders from travelers in the taverns. “Those Vikings are bad news, I say. I wonder what business to they have on our waters.”
The sound of singing was getting louder and louder. After a while, they noticed more ships like this sailing slowly along horizon.
“I don’t know. I guess we’ll find out soon…”
Duke Jean did not know that now, but the ships belonged to Bjorn Ironside, King of Sweden and a formidable Viking raider. He has gathered a large host of warriors to commit one of the greatest invasions in recent memory- the invasion of Bavaria.
Why would the Scandinavians be interested in such a far piece of land (or, most importantly, why did they invade the king of East Francia, who had limited holdings in Bavaria proper), we may never know. The important thing is that the Vikings, scourge of the North, have arrived in the South.
The warriors have landed in Istria, the land belonging to the German Karlings. They proceeded to siege the castles and raid local towns and monasteries. Local resistance was slim and the main Karling forces would take months to organize.
The fate of the region seemed grim.
15 December 897
“You see, Melderick, those Vikings know what’s up!” Duke Jean exclaimed while they were discussing the recent war. “Ehm…. Of course, I regret the deaths of countless peasants in Istria and wish that the invaders die in great pain….” He added quickly, seeing the disapproving look of Chancellor Boson. “… But just look at it! Such a glorious conquest! Why can’t I gather an army like that for a glorious conquest of Egypt?”
“That’s because we aren’t barbarians, my Duke.” The Chancellor said. “We only fight if we have a valid reason.”
“But…. But I have a valid reason! Those are the lands of my ancestors!. “He sighed. “All right, I suppose I understand. By the way, is Count Alain’s rebellion over?”
“He asked you to talk with the King on his behalf about releasing him from the dungeon.”
“Ah, I take that for a ‘yes’. Thank you, Chancellor, I will talk with the King when I see him.”
Duke Jean’s plea was not in vain, as King Pepin agreed to free the rebellious kinsman from his cell.
The war against the Swedes was raging on and it seemed that the invaders from the North are unstoppable. Christian forces were unable to defeat the Norsemen despite outnumbering them. Will more lands fall prey to the Vikings?
Duke Jean, safe in both his castle of Arles and on the King’s court, was far away from the horrors of war. Despite that, though, he had some troubles of his own.
25 March 900
It has been two years since the beginning of the Viking invasion. The Swedes seemed incomparable at first, though they had since ran out of steam as the attacks of the Karling forces, though ineffective and costly, succeeded at least in dwindling the size of the invading army. The war entered the phase of a stalemate.
Meanwhile, in the castle of Arles, Boson Bosonid, Chancellor of Provence, was being rudely awakened in the middle of the night by obnoxious knocking on the door.
“Who in the name of God is this! Have you people have no respect for elders?!” He jumped out of bed and opened his door. “Duke Jean? What are you doing this early?”
“I need your help, Boson. It’s very important!” He said. He seemed very shaken.
“All right, come inside and calm down.”
Boson sat on the bed. He was wearing his night shirt and Duke Jean was very grateful that electrical lighting hasn’t been invented yet.
“My chancellor….. I think I am being poisoned….”
“What, again?”
“I’m serious this time! The food tastes weirdly recently and I’m not the only one who has noticed it. I asked Pavlina that night and she agrees with me. My friend, if one of my children gets sick….”
“All right, when you put it that way, I understand you.” He stopped for a while to think. “We must act with caution, though. If we go with the big investigation, the poisoner might escape and we might never know who it is.”
“So, what do you propose?”
“We must be cautious. I know an alchemist in the city who can borrow us some equipment. It won’t be cheap, though.”
“There’s always a catch. All right, though, the safety of my family is more important to me.”
“Very well. I should set up the equipment in the basement tomorrow, the results should be apparent the day after. Until that, I advise you to ask Melderick to fetch you food from town.”
Jean yelped. “I don’t look forward to it, but I suppose you’re right.” He proceeded to leave the room. “Good night, Chancellor. Thanks for the help.”
“Good night, Duke. Let’s hope that your worries won’t be justified.”
It turned out that duke Jean was right, though it was not as bad as he was expecting. The foul- tasting food was the fault of the new replacement cook, who tried to mask the spoiled meat with copious amounts of herbs. Some of those herbs turned out to be poisonous when eaten in large quantities, so in the end Duke Jean was safe, though he needed to find a new cook.
3 June 900
“Ah, it’s a wonderful day when nobody plots to murder you, isn’t it?” Duke Jean exclaimed when approaching Boson and Melderick.
“Indeed, my Duke. You seem chipper today.”
“Oh, my dear Melderick, you have no idea! I have just realized a wonderful thing!”
………
“…What, nobody wants to ask what it is?”
Melderick sighed. “Sure, do tell us…..”
“I just realized- just like the Swedes, I have glorious regiments of unusual size under my disposal! They are called mercenaries!”
“That’s great…. Wait, my Duke, you’re not considering sailing with a single regiment of mercs to conquer Egypt?”
“No, stupid! I would need way more troops to do that! I will start out small. Remember those claims that Chancellor Boson acquired for me…. I mean, those claims belonging to my family from generations?”
“Yes I do, my Lord.”
“It’s time to press one of them.”
“Which one it is, my Liege?” The Chancellor asked.
“It’s time for Capua! The troops are leaving as we speak.”
“I see.” Boson said. “Have you informed the Count of your decision?”
“I’ll let him know when the troops arrive in Salerno.” He said while smiling smugly.
“Truly the sign of Chivalry!” Melderick quipped.
“Hey, shut it, Melderick! If I wanted a talking ass I’d ask for one.”
Melderick looked at him hurt, but said nothing.
“SO, my Duke, will you be heading out with your army?”
Jean shacked his head. “I have to go hunting with the King. I’ll go as soon as I’m finished, though.”
3 August 900
The hunting with the King turned out great- Jean proved to be a competent hunter and caught plenty of game, including a huge boar.
All was ready for the Pharaoh to begin his first true conquest.
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I’m very, very, very sorry for this part going live so late. Blame the school and stuff.
Thanks for following! I'll try to keep up the entertaining content.
Egypt is, unfortunately, annoyingly stable. As far as my usual games go, they are either stable or get subjugated by the Abbasids. Don't worry, though, we will beat them. I don't know how yet, but I will.
Sorry about the lack of updates, writer's block and lost of work and all that stuff. Don't worry, though, it's coming soon (tm).
Of course! There can be no other way!
Thanks for following! I'll try to keep up the quality.
New update this weekend- got caught up with school stuff.
This is quite a cool AAR. I am looking forward to when you finally found the Kingdom of Egypt! (in around 15ß years or so)