I thought all Orthodox characters were supposed to have the same head
The Pentarchy. Five Patriarchs plus local leaders for kingdoms, any that don't have one are ministered by the Ecumenical Patriarch (Const.)
His religious head is probably the Patriarch of Rome. Look in his character tooltip or the Patriarch map-mode when you have the religious interface open.
I'm unsure about how to achieve having the same religious Head but try moving capital to Rome.
Or at least it was for the two games I've played Orthodox headquartered in Constantinople and Sicily
Both Sicily and Constantinople are under Constantinople aren't they?
Been to long since I last mended the Schism.
If you wish to have a say in any other area, you'd need to move your capital to Rome and ditch the Emporer title. To my knowledge Ecumenical Patriarch is locked to Byzantine/Roman Emperor.
This is why I am unsure.
Possibly by granting the bishopric of Rome to a heretic and killing any Patriarch for the HRE might allow you to ask the E.P. for it.
Do you have a claim, or is the HRE bigger than you? Because those will block you as well.
Finally I'll Suggest Marriage, Murder and Massacres(War) as a possibility to secure the Throne.