Defensive, Quality and Quantity go first, mainly because defensive wars are cheaper in manpower and gold.
Defensive is great, especially combined with a title of Defender of the Faith. Plus troops are cheaper, and sieges are quicker.
Quality is well rounded idea group helping both armies and navies, giving highest improvement in damage dealing potential as of patch 1.3. Plus, troops and ships recover morale faster, leading to more battles fought and generally more battles won.
Quantity is quite underestimated. While Offensive provides better leaders and slightly improves army efficiency, Quantity gives bigger and cheaper armies and cheaper navies. Combined with some national ideas, for example Russian or Swedish, armies become of enormous size, and reliance on mercenaries decreases. State like Aragon benefit from Quantity a lot. Ability to repel amphibious assaults or defend a mountain province with bigger force with large number of cannons while running a healthy surplus of ducats is hard to underestimate. Bigger army, easier to fight strong or numerous opponents, more money for advisers.
Best part of Offensive is Forced March, followed by Discipline bonus. For a sizable country with good income it is better than Quantity, since army cost is less of a problem, while land limits increases are almost the same, and manpower bonus is just slightly worse.