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I'm sort of curious, started my rebel playthrough with a female fatebinder.

Do they comment on it if they're led by a male Fatebinder? That seems to sort of conflict with their land-owning policy.
 

thevmag

is like nipples on men
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As is said in one point in the game: their gender roles are tradition, but wealth and power can overrule tradition. There are men of influence who can own property, and women who end up owning ships.

On top of that, military command does not necessarily have to involve land ownership. There are males of the Vendrian Guard who you meet in positions of authority.