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Don't say that or you'll get stuck with something like Catalan Canada again.
This was a nice one to read. But I can already see your reaction if you get SPAIN as your last country...
"Psycho elves" indeed.
Beautiful. This round was a nice psychopathic bout of bloodletting. I enjoyed reading it greatly.And now you're stuck for one more round... What exactly are you going to do for the encore?
Informative to see the various colonial nations' desire for liberty. A few might yet erupt in revolt, a tantalizing prospect... By the way, whenever I read that 'Pacifico Norte', I can't help but think it's some kind of Cali Cartel/Lumberjack Empire hybrid. Cart-by shootings in the temperate rain forests of Vancouver, anyone?
Pissing off your peasants so much that they rebel and happen to kill any enemy soldiers in the way is a bold strategy.
You sound slightly stressed, Cat... don't let Johan win so easily!
The power of Johan is strong. He is merciless, and all knowing. If he really wanted to win, he would of done so by now. As is, I fear that he is toying with our dear CatKnight.
Any chance you could still wreak havoc next turn? With your economy in such shambles. Maybe you could ally with another annoying great power and get it in trouble again.
COMMENT: I will post later tonight with the latest turn and individual feedback, but I thought this deserved its own mention.
Our saved game survived the Patch!
When I first loaded the game, my save appeared under 'incompatible' saves. I brought it up anyway and the map looked....well, ruined. However, a popup came up suggesting I load and re-save the game anyway to see what would happen. I did so, and ran the game for 10 days (to 10 January 1800) to see what would happen.
The map updated, reallocating provinces probably based on what was already owned. (IE- if Canada owns province 1, it's an old save, and no one owns province 2, give it to them.) The effect is very believable, and it even solves the problem we had in North America with uncolonizable provinces.
Hats off Paradox team. Well done. Very, very well done.
Our saved game survived the Patch!
When I first loaded the game, my save appeared under 'incompatible' saves. I brought it up anyway and the map looked....well, ruined. However, a popup came up suggesting I load and re-save the game anyway to see what would happen. I did so, and ran the game for 10 days (to 10 January 1800) to see what would happen.
The map updated, reallocating provinces probably based on what was already owned. (IE- if Canada owns province 1, it's an old save, and no one owns province 2, give it to them.) The effect is very believable, and it even solves the problem we had in North America with uncolonizable provinces.
Hats off Paradox team. Well done. Very, very well done.
Nikolai: Johan is a cruel god, but just.
Athalcor: It was fun!
00CloughRN: Oooh, good point!
Chief Ragusa: Soon!
LanMisa: I suppose it depends how bad off Spain really is. Maybe it can be saved! Maybe purple flying unicorns will be in the next patch!
Stuyvesant: Oh my yes. It makes me want to finish the game as Pacifico Norte!
Andre Massena: Strategy? Oh yes, of course. Strategy!
Hiryuu: It's a perfectly good strategy! Just ask Andre!
McGrey: Me? Stressed? No! The pills the doc gave me back in Oman are working great!
Dr. Livingstone: You think so?
Blackfish: I don't think anyone likes me enough to ally right now (anyone important anyway). We might still be able to find some trouble though!
Athalcor: It was fun!
00CloughRN: Oooh, good point!
Chief Ragusa: Soon!
LanMisa: I suppose it depends how bad off Spain really is. Maybe it can be saved! Maybe purple flying unicorns will be in the next patch!
Stuyvesant: Oh my yes. It makes me want to finish the game as Pacifico Norte!
Andre Massena: Strategy? Oh yes, of course. Strategy!
Hiryuu: It's a perfectly good strategy! Just ask Andre!
McGrey: Me? Stressed? No! The pills the doc gave me back in Oman are working great!
Dr. Livingstone: You think so?
Blackfish: I don't think anyone likes me enough to ally right now (anyone important anyway). We might still be able to find some trouble though!
CHAPTER XXIV: MAINZ
Part 4: Doing it With Style
(1795-1800)
Part 4: Doing it With Style
(1795-1800)
Death of an Empire
So, it is January 1795. I've been crushed, but it was more fun than you'd expect. I've spent this entire game doing my level best to help my 'host country.' I don't regret that for a minute, but sometimes a psychopathic rampage is good for the spirit.
I'm not quite done yet.
War is out of the question. Of our neighbors, going clockwise from due east, Wurzburg, Bavaria, Palatinate and Mitrehead are all in a coalition against me. We have a truce with Netherlands and they're far too big anyway. Hesse is a Bavarian vassal. We have a truce with Thuringia.
Still, we can have a little chaotic fun. For example, I think we need a new emperor.
Then as I close that window, I notice one of my highlighted options. Reopen the window. Study it for a few moments.
I recognize no emperor!
Not quite as dramatic as you'd think: No popups from the emperor, no DoWs, they simply let me go. I immediately lose my Imperial Integrity modifier (-3 RR, -10% Stab Cost, -10% Tech Cost) but so be it.
Anyway, the emperor is busy losing to Thuringia. They have Saxony sieged. I try to get MA through them or Bavaria to get over to Saxony, but neither one like me very much. Hm, maybe this dropping out of the Empire wasn't so smart.
Burgundy likes my spunk and asks if we could ally. I don't expect them to do anything in a real fight except die miserably, but as we're rather short on allies right now .. sure. Mainz, Liege and Burgundy versus the world!
In November 1795, I notice we're not the only ones who don't like Mitrehead...
What!? Yes! Hell yes! Do you guys need money? No? Go! Turn into a republic like the Hungarians and Austrians. Throw Mitrehead out on his ear! Good luck! God bless! Obviously not the Catholic God, but I'm sure you can figure something out!
I'm still giggling when I notice that Bohemia's handed Spain and Hungary their tail. Hungary gives up 3 provinces to Bohemia and 1 to Austria, while Spain donates 510 ducats to Bohemia's retirement fund. Yeah Spain, you're drunk. Just go home.
I spend some time trying to max out relations with Thuringia, hoping they'll let me help with Saxony. See, my dropping out of the Empire dropped the number of members down to 25. One more, and everyone loses the Imperial Integrity modifier. I'd call that a win. Forceannexing the emperor would just be icing on the cake.
No dice though. The truce with Thuringia also apparently means I can't ask them for MA, and that won't run out until mid 1799. Bavaria hates me too much to even consider it (probably because I won't let them bring their 23K from Hesse home by giving THEM MA). Oh well. Maybe if Mitrehead gets conquered by revolutionaries I can take them on again...
Duelling Sieges
To accomplish this, I forge a claim on Nassau (Mitrehead), thinking that'll prevent the Emperor from intervening.. not that the emperor is an issue right now. Through 1797 I continue repaying loans. Bavaria leaves the anti-Mainz coalition. Then, in July, Saxony falls to Thuringia. Thuringia annexes them. Do you know what that means?
Sure, Palatinate. Have fun. Imperial Integrity is gone, which means your empire is all but dead. Started your reign by making the Empire that much less worth it. I'm sure that'll help you pass your reforms!
August 1797, and revolutionaries seize Nassau!
Okay, not quite as cool as I hoped. They're still a papacy, and this new guy apparently has a thing for the ladies. They still have their old alliance (Lorraine) and coalition. Still, this new pope is at least nicer than the last guy.
Days later I get my claim on Nassau. Is it Christmas already??
No, not quite. He doesn't need the coalition. Netherlands has warned us and will intervene. Palatinate will intervene as emperor. Sigh.
Well, we'll get our chance. April 1798 comes, a monopoly company is formed (event) and we demand payment which we use to pay off 14 loans. There are only 13 left. Okay, even if nothing else happens this turn was worth it. Hurt the Empire pretty badly, and watched Mitrehead get his comeuppance. Fine, let's settle back and...
Fun in the Sun
**CHOKE**
OK, Thuringia! Let's do this! Venice is on their side, Liege on ours. Neither one will do much.
While I'm still cleaning my drink off the screen, Thuringia invades with 9000 men. We have 12K! We rush in to Wurzburg province...
...and get our tail handed to us. We lose 5600, they lose 2500. Our general is actually better (6/3/3/0 vs. 5/3/2/1), but I think we took a hit crossing a river or defensive terrain. Fine. We'll be back!
Time to take loans, because I am NOT losing to these Thuringian putzes! Hire one 'regular' Royal Mortar and 2 Mercenary Mixed Infantry. In November 1798 we're back for more!
Oh HELL no.
1 Artillery, 2 infantry. I also burn through some military points looking for a better leader and end up with Uriel Schmitt (4/3/4/2). In April 1799 we're back for round three.
That's better!
By May 1799 we've covered Thuringia. Only now do 10K Liegans show up, but they seem content to sit on our border and watch. Maybe they think they're protecting against Venice. Sure, have fun guys.
My economy is once more a disaster. Along with the loans I took to hire all these extra troops, we're now taking a new loan every two months just to pay them. I don't care. Thuringia will pay for this insult!
In September 1799, some of our strategists posit that sieging enemy provinces makes winning wars easier.
Way to go guys.
It is now December 1799. Let's leave Thuringia to their fate.
Johan's Dice
I already said we were leaving anyway Johan, but I'd like your blessing.
Years: 20
Needed to Continue: 5+
Roll: 3
Continue?: No
Thanks!
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Timid revolutionaries only wanted to install a new pope :laugh:
I doubt the pope can claim infallibility if he receives his power from an armed mob.
I doubt the pope can claim infallibility if he receives his power from an armed mob.
I'll bet the AI wusses out and makes peace with Thuringia immediately.
For this last stretch I think it would be fair to either reroll until you get one that's interesting or just pick one yourself outright. It would be a shame to spend the home stretch stuck as a native in Africa or something like that.
For this last stretch I think it would be fair to either reroll until you get one that's interesting or just pick one yourself outright. It would be a shame to spend the home stretch stuck as a native in Africa or something like that.
Andre Massena: Very true! That infallibility argument pretty m uch goes out the window.
Blackfish: Possibly. I gave them a chance though.
As for our final country .... well, I'm going to make sure we aren't sitting on our butt somewhere. I haven't decided where (or if it'll be pseudo-random), but I definitely want to go somewhere fun.
All: If you haven't yet, please vote in the ACAs for Europa Universalis IV! Tell them Cat sent you!
*******
Originally I'd selected four pics to show you as sufficiently different to warrant attention. Now that 'Art of War' is out though, the entire map's changed. I'm not sure if the power dynamics have, but it's a nice little shot in the arm to the game as we round the final bend. Let's see how the world's doing with 21 years left!
DISCLAIMER: It may appear through this that I'm highlighting the few things that didn't go right with this converter. If a developer sees this and can use this feedback to improve future conversions, great. Overall I'm very, very impressed with the conversion (I fully expected the game to be ruined) and can wrap my mind around the tiny irregularities.
North America
The 'can't colonize' problem introduced in CoP appears to be gone. Two provinces ARE uncolonized, but I assume the game will take care of that. Norway now has enough provinces in the NW to form the 'Oregon' colony. Canada now stretches across the map.
In Catalan Louisiana you can see the beginning of what will be a bit of an issue: Countries whose lands got split by the conversion. Not a huge deal.
Central & South America
A few more countries broken up, the only one not making much sense being Norwegian Brazil. I suppose we could argue they explored the interior before really firming up their supply lines with the coast and Argentine moved in. Britain's cut Portuguese Brazil off from the Amazon River basin which should prove interesting.
Southern S. America
This isn't an anomaly with the conversion: Norway really did colonize the Falklands and southern tip of S. America
North Africa & Middle East
As you see, Norway somehow wound up between Mali and Funj which would be a very interesting story to read or write. Perhaps a viking raid really got lost!
We also see the beginning of possibly the biggest issue: Somehow Dutch Peru wound up with an African holding.
You can see here that the Ottomans have smashed Yemen pretty thoroughly. Also, Russia's reached Sierra Leone. Neither one involved the conversion.
South Africa
When we played Portugal, my plan to dominate the African coast was somewhat cheesy: If this game ever did wind up in Victoria II, it would defeat the rush to colonize Africa since no one else would have access to the interior. The change in the map defeated that. Nonetheless, S. Africa could probably use a closer look: It doesn't look like Kilwa inherited provinces it should have, and of course Argentine/English Colombia shouldn't be there at all.
Southern Asia
Brittany took all of Britain's Indian colonies on their own pre-conversion. Perhaps it was an argument to determine who was truly the greater Britain? Portugal re-conquered Ceylon in 1798 or so. Ayutthaya is once more huge.
Oceania
It amazes me just how many countries have taken an interest down here.
Japan & Korea
Russia's kicked Japan off the continent and invaded Kyushu for good measure. Far more seriously, they've turned Korea into a protectorate making them nigh on invulnerable.
Russia
Yeah. Nuf said.
Europe
Our last glitch: Norwegian Brazil is in Russian territory.
Spanish Lithuania imploded last turn, leading to Polotsk. I don't remember seeing Ruthenia before (and isn't that a new country?) Perhaps the conversion decided the rebellion was bad enough to just give it to them. Regardless, the Ottomans are mowing them down.
The big loser appears to be the Livonian Order. I thought they had more territory, but it seems some of it either got reallocated or there were losses late last turn.
Spain did successfully get a small chunk out of Morocco some time during our stint with Mainz. The rest of the continent looks about like we're used to seeing.
Let's zoom in.
Central Europe
First, yes, France is STILL alive. Orleans and Burgundy are also players over there, though I'd say (besides Spain) the closest thing to a French (territorial) state right now has to be Savoy. Suffice to say French history is screwed in this world.
Southern Italy (off map) hasn't really changed: Spanish Naples, then Tuscany. Venice is an also ran as is Milan.
Lastly we have Germany. No real change to the dynamics here with the conversion. It's hard (but not impossible) to imagine a German identity coming out of this mess. The Imperial states are so busy poking at each other that Poland, Bohemia, Austria and even Denmark are slowly getting larger and larger.
That's our world folks! 21 years left. I'm going on a trip for a few days. When I get back we'll meet our final 'host' and see what trouble we can get into.
Blackfish: Possibly. I gave them a chance though.
As for our final country .... well, I'm going to make sure we aren't sitting on our butt somewhere. I haven't decided where (or if it'll be pseudo-random), but I definitely want to go somewhere fun.
All: If you haven't yet, please vote in the ACAs for Europa Universalis IV! Tell them Cat sent you!
*******
INTERLUDE XVI
Art of Maps (1800)
Art of Maps (1800)
Originally I'd selected four pics to show you as sufficiently different to warrant attention. Now that 'Art of War' is out though, the entire map's changed. I'm not sure if the power dynamics have, but it's a nice little shot in the arm to the game as we round the final bend. Let's see how the world's doing with 21 years left!
DISCLAIMER: It may appear through this that I'm highlighting the few things that didn't go right with this converter. If a developer sees this and can use this feedback to improve future conversions, great. Overall I'm very, very impressed with the conversion (I fully expected the game to be ruined) and can wrap my mind around the tiny irregularities.
North America
The 'can't colonize' problem introduced in CoP appears to be gone. Two provinces ARE uncolonized, but I assume the game will take care of that. Norway now has enough provinces in the NW to form the 'Oregon' colony. Canada now stretches across the map.
In Catalan Louisiana you can see the beginning of what will be a bit of an issue: Countries whose lands got split by the conversion. Not a huge deal.
Central & South America
A few more countries broken up, the only one not making much sense being Norwegian Brazil. I suppose we could argue they explored the interior before really firming up their supply lines with the coast and Argentine moved in. Britain's cut Portuguese Brazil off from the Amazon River basin which should prove interesting.
Southern S. America
This isn't an anomaly with the conversion: Norway really did colonize the Falklands and southern tip of S. America
North Africa & Middle East
As you see, Norway somehow wound up between Mali and Funj which would be a very interesting story to read or write. Perhaps a viking raid really got lost!
We also see the beginning of possibly the biggest issue: Somehow Dutch Peru wound up with an African holding.
You can see here that the Ottomans have smashed Yemen pretty thoroughly. Also, Russia's reached Sierra Leone. Neither one involved the conversion.
South Africa
When we played Portugal, my plan to dominate the African coast was somewhat cheesy: If this game ever did wind up in Victoria II, it would defeat the rush to colonize Africa since no one else would have access to the interior. The change in the map defeated that. Nonetheless, S. Africa could probably use a closer look: It doesn't look like Kilwa inherited provinces it should have, and of course Argentine/English Colombia shouldn't be there at all.
Southern Asia
Brittany took all of Britain's Indian colonies on their own pre-conversion. Perhaps it was an argument to determine who was truly the greater Britain? Portugal re-conquered Ceylon in 1798 or so. Ayutthaya is once more huge.
Oceania
It amazes me just how many countries have taken an interest down here.
Japan & Korea
Russia's kicked Japan off the continent and invaded Kyushu for good measure. Far more seriously, they've turned Korea into a protectorate making them nigh on invulnerable.
Russia
Yeah. Nuf said.
Europe
Our last glitch: Norwegian Brazil is in Russian territory.
Spanish Lithuania imploded last turn, leading to Polotsk. I don't remember seeing Ruthenia before (and isn't that a new country?) Perhaps the conversion decided the rebellion was bad enough to just give it to them. Regardless, the Ottomans are mowing them down.
The big loser appears to be the Livonian Order. I thought they had more territory, but it seems some of it either got reallocated or there were losses late last turn.
Spain did successfully get a small chunk out of Morocco some time during our stint with Mainz. The rest of the continent looks about like we're used to seeing.
Let's zoom in.
Central Europe
First, yes, France is STILL alive. Orleans and Burgundy are also players over there, though I'd say (besides Spain) the closest thing to a French (territorial) state right now has to be Savoy. Suffice to say French history is screwed in this world.
Southern Italy (off map) hasn't really changed: Spanish Naples, then Tuscany. Venice is an also ran as is Milan.
Lastly we have Germany. No real change to the dynamics here with the conversion. It's hard (but not impossible) to imagine a German identity coming out of this mess. The Imperial states are so busy poking at each other that Poland, Bohemia, Austria and even Denmark are slowly getting larger and larger.
That's our world folks! 21 years left. I'm going on a trip for a few days. When I get back we'll meet our final 'host' and see what trouble we can get into.
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That's interesting. I had assumed that pre-AoW saves would just be completely unusable like pre-Rajas of India CK2 saves.
Wiz is a wizard-god amongst gods.
Johan is just an amazing thunder-god amongst gods, obviously.
Not necessarily! After all, a mob is basically a collection of people who have armed themselves and taken up a cause: assuming that everyone heard the word of god to install a new, infallible Pope, you're basically looking at an army of Joan of Arcs - and she's a saint, so it must be alright.
Nice job on the HRE - it's like the Georgi Markov killing (the KGB umbrella caper): you've surreptitiously stabbed your victim, he's completely unaware of what happened, still walks and seems just fine, but his death is now inevitable. Surprisingly low-key, after last round's hell-bent for leather assault.
Shame you couldn't inflict a bit more hurtin' on the Pope, but oh well, your mob messed up the previous incumbent and that has to count for something.
Did you know that OTL (and TTL as well) Russia is bigger in area than Pluto?
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Yeah. That's that. The absolute absence of wit and relevance to be seen in an AAR comment.
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Yeah. That's that. The absolute absence of wit and relevance to be seen in an AAR comment.