CHAPTER XXIV: MAINZ
Part 4: Doing it With Style
(1795-1800)
Death of an Empire
So, it is January 1795. I've been crushed, but it was more fun than you'd expect. I've spent this entire game doing my level best to help my 'host country.' I don't regret that for a minute, but sometimes a psychopathic rampage is good for the spirit.
I'm not quite done yet.
War is out of the question. Of our neighbors, going clockwise from due east, Wurzburg, Bavaria, Palatinate and Mitrehead are all in a coalition against me. We have a truce with Netherlands and they're far too big anyway. Hesse is a Bavarian vassal. We have a truce with Thuringia.
Still, we can have a little chaotic fun. For example, I think we need a new emperor.
Then as I close that window, I notice one of my highlighted options. Reopen the window. Study it for a few moments.
I recognize no emperor!
Not quite as dramatic as you'd think: No popups from the emperor, no DoWs, they simply let me go. I immediately lose my Imperial Integrity modifier (-3 RR, -10% Stab Cost, -10% Tech Cost) but so be it.
Anyway, the emperor is busy losing to Thuringia. They have Saxony sieged. I try to get MA through them or Bavaria to get over to Saxony, but neither one like me very much. Hm, maybe this dropping out of the Empire wasn't so smart.
Burgundy likes my spunk and asks if we could ally. I don't expect them to do anything in a real fight except die miserably, but as we're rather short on allies right now .. sure. Mainz, Liege and Burgundy versus the world!
In November 1795, I notice we're not the only ones who don't like Mitrehead...
What!? Yes! Hell yes! Do you guys need money? No? Go! Turn into a republic like the Hungarians and Austrians. Throw Mitrehead out on his ear! Good luck! God bless! Obviously not the Catholic God, but I'm sure you can figure something out!
I'm still giggling when I notice that Bohemia's handed Spain and Hungary their tail. Hungary gives up 3 provinces to Bohemia and 1 to Austria, while Spain donates 510 ducats to Bohemia's retirement fund. Yeah Spain, you're drunk. Just go home.
I spend some time trying to max out relations with Thuringia, hoping they'll let me help with Saxony. See, my dropping out of the Empire dropped the number of members down to 25. One more, and
everyone loses the Imperial Integrity modifier. I'd call that a win. Forceannexing the emperor would just be icing on the cake.
No dice though. The truce with Thuringia also apparently means I can't ask them for MA, and that won't run out until mid 1799. Bavaria hates me too much to even consider it (probably because I won't let them bring their 23K from Hesse home by giving THEM MA). Oh well. Maybe if Mitrehead gets conquered by revolutionaries I can take them on again...
Duelling Sieges
To accomplish this, I forge a claim on Nassau (Mitrehead), thinking that'll prevent the Emperor from intervening.. not that the emperor is an issue right now. Through 1797 I continue repaying loans. Bavaria leaves the anti-Mainz coalition. Then, in July, Saxony falls to Thuringia. Thuringia annexes them. Do you know what that means?
Sure, Palatinate. Have fun. Imperial Integrity is gone, which means your empire is all but dead. Started your reign by making the Empire that much less worth it. I'm sure that'll help you pass your reforms!
August 1797, and revolutionaries seize Nassau!
Okay, not quite as cool as I hoped. They're still a papacy, and this new guy apparently has a thing for the ladies. They still have their old alliance (Lorraine) and coalition. Still, this new pope is at least nicer than the last guy.
Days later I get my claim on Nassau. Is it Christmas already??
No, not quite. He doesn't
need the coalition. Netherlands has warned us and will intervene. Palatinate will intervene as emperor. Sigh.
Well, we'll get our chance. April 1798 comes, a monopoly company is formed (event) and we demand payment which we use to pay off 14 loans. There are only 13 left. Okay, even if nothing else happens this turn was worth it. Hurt the Empire pretty badly, and watched Mitrehead get his comeuppance. Fine, let's settle back and...
Fun in the Sun
**CHOKE**
OK, Thuringia! Let's do this! Venice is on their side, Liege on ours. Neither one will do much.
While I'm still cleaning my drink off the screen, Thuringia invades with 9000 men. We have 12K! We rush in to Wurzburg province...
...and get our tail handed to us. We lose 5600, they lose 2500. Our general is actually better (6/3/3/0 vs. 5/3/2/1), but I think we took a hit crossing a river or defensive terrain. Fine. We'll be back!
Time to take loans, because I am NOT losing to these Thuringian putzes! Hire one 'regular' Royal Mortar and 2 Mercenary Mixed Infantry. In November 1798 we're back for more!
Oh HELL no.
1 Artillery, 2 infantry. I also burn through some military points looking for a better leader and end up with Uriel Schmitt (4/3/4/2). In April 1799 we're back for round three.
That's better!
By May 1799 we've covered Thuringia. Only now do 10K Liegans show up, but they seem content to sit on our border and watch. Maybe they think they're protecting against Venice. Sure, have fun guys.
My economy is once more a disaster. Along with the loans I took to hire all these extra troops, we're now taking a new loan every two months just to pay them. I don't care. Thuringia will pay for this insult!
In September 1799, some of our strategists posit that sieging enemy provinces makes winning wars easier.
Way to go guys.
It is now December 1799. Let's leave Thuringia to their fate.
Johan's Dice
I already said we were leaving anyway Johan, but I'd like your blessing.
Years: 20
Needed to Continue: 5+
Roll: 3
Continue?: No
Thanks!