CHAPTER XXI: HUNGARY II
Part 4: Glory to Arstotzka
(1745-1750)
End of the Hunyadis
The last King of Hungary, Lazlo VI, was an idiot.
Oh, he might not have been in another time and place, but you said to let the revolution happen, so really what's about to happen is your fault.
When kings tremble and queens pout, when maidens give that sigh of where-is-my-handsome-knight-oh-wait-he-was-killed-fighting-merchant-trash (not peasants, let's not get silly here), and when Johan turns his back on Hungary because the natural divine order has been subverted, let it be on your head.
It was a bad few years. But strangely prosperous. Actually it really wasn't that bad. Just kinda boring.
In January 1745 we instituted 'harsh measures' through four Croatian provinces, Zemplen and Krakow, all candidates to defect. I didn't want Hungary
breaking apart. There was also potential trouble in Ancona, but since we're trying to core it we have to expect some nationalism.
I then realized we picked up an idea slot when we gained Admin last turn and took Humanist ideas as a nod to the rebels, though since it requires Admin points I don't see us investing in it that often.
Our government proved 'incompetent' in Szabolcs, leading to another rebellion. Before the dust cleared in 1747 there would be five more of these 'incompetence' revolts of at least 12K each. Even if we hadn't lost our army, we'd be hard pressed to stem the tide.
More provinces began falling to the rebel hordes, starting with Serbia in May. The capital at Pest fell in September, and Lazlo went into hiding while his wife pouted. Over the next year the situation only worsened so by May 1746 it was .. well, even more hopeless than before. Rebels numbered 194K, making for the third or fourth largest army in the world.
You will also note that the Ottomans are in the process of wrecking Spanish Lithuania. But where are the Spanish hordes? You guessed it: Portugal. Though I never checked, future events suggest Netherlands and Spain kept busy in the New World as well.
In November 1746 merchants complained about the lack of protection (-10% trade efficiency, -10% trade range). Look guys: The country's going up in flames and it's your fault. OK, I know I said it was the readers' fault, but really it's your fault. You're getting zero help. Go home. Sure, join the rebels. What do I care?
Finally, in January 1747 King Lazlo ends any likelihood of a Spanish/Russian succession war by having a child: Lajos (5/3/3). I'm pretty sure it's not going to matter, bud.
Ancona cores in March. We immediately send in the missionaries. Ancona loves that even more than being cored.
Then, in June 1747, the government teeters .... and falls. The Hunyadi dynasty essentially died when Lazlo, his pouting wife and Lajos fed the capital. Which is too bad. I really like their cars.
Though they spell the name wrong.
Glory to Us!
Welcome, comrade! Don't mind the mess!
For centuries we have lived under the yoke of Hunyadi tyranny and their rice burning cars! Today is a new day! A proud day! A great day to be Hungary!
Pardon me while I get a sandwich.
It should be zero surprise that most of 'our' problems go away as soon as we adopt the Austrian ideals of fraternity, liberty and inbreeding! Our stability resets from -3 to 0, and we raise it further to 1 (overpaying due to low republican tradition). We have an army again! Granted it's only 35K (24/0/11), the others autodisbanding due to my force limit, but that will be enough.
One day we will further spread the revolution that started in Austria's ample and well sloped bosom with amazing pointed peaks, but first we must take a few defensive steps our 'predecessor' did not! Let's build 8 Fort-3s on the Turkish border, 2 courthouses and 3 more East Indiamen to bring our transport total to 9.
Ah! You sense there is a reason we're building more transports! That is because you, comrade, are intelligent unlike the royalist pigs that betrayed Hungary, St. Stephen, and probably a few other saints as well.
With only 35K we cannot take on Austria - nor would we have any reason to fight our friends in Marx and Engels! The Turks are out of the question, Venice has a fleet, Bohemia is allied with Austria and Poland with Spain. We must go further afield. Once everything's in place, we will finish off Tuscany!
In August 1747 Ludwig Anton I of the Palatinate becomes the oppressive pig dog monster who rules the Empire with a blood soaked fist. This suits our purpose, for the Palatinate is still divided and weak. So long as Spain helps us they cannot make a difference.
Then royalists supporting the deposed Lazlo try to make trouble.
The People Shall Endure!
In October 1747, 24K 'Protestants' rose up in Ancona. At least they claimed to be Protestants, but we know who was slipping money into their purposes, don't we comrade? And who's sweat and tears cover that money, making it kinda sticky and gross, except for the coinage of course? Us bureaucrats, that's who!
So we funnel the People's Army slowly to Spanish Naples. Meanwhile, we discover Bohemian agents trying to foster rebellion! We feed them to a random pack of wolves. For some reason our army thinks this is great!
I am more impressed by staining Italy red with the blood of royalist dreams!
This leads to charges of government incompetence! No no, my friend, Lazlo is gone. You are now in safe hands. Here, have some cash to break the event chain and go away.
Very strangely, this highlights our 'governmental brilliance' (+43.8 ducats) 6 months later. Opinion is fickle is it not?
Not to mention for sale.
Unfortunately we find that's not all for sale, as royalists try to undermine the Austro-Hungarian dream! Well, we know what to do with those kind of people.
Steal their money was my second guess.
It's now June 1749, and time for a quick campaign against Tuscany...
Except doing so would mean fighting our friends in Austria. We can't do that can we? No, I didn't think so either. Especially when our Spanish friends remind us that they're getting stomped by the Turk in Lithuania. Well, if you would actually...I dunno...send a few armies this way, maybe that wouldn't be happening.
Indeed, when the Ottos ask for MA we grant it. It'll at least make them think twice about attacking.
We look briefly at stomping on OPM Siena, but from Ancona that means MA through Tuscany or Austria, and neither one likes that idea. So... it's time to send the army home. We leave 9K in Ancona in case of further trouble and the other 27K return to Pest.
Meanwhile, the Ottoman/Spanish/Dutch war is winding down...and thanks to Portugal, the Turks receive a bloody nose!
But of course the Dutch are a republic as well. Perhaps they are clandestine supporters of the revolution? At any rate, thanks! We better build a fort there - just in case.
This convinces the Saxons to offer us an alliance. We accept, as they can annoy Bohemia if they choose, and might give us a little extra legitimacy in the eyes of Palatinate dogs.
It is now January 1750, and it is time to spread the revolution elsewhere!
Johan's Dice
Reign: 20 years
Needed: 5+
Roll: 1
Continue?: No