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Okay, so where do we go from here?

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*CHOKE*

:rofl:
 
I had a very nice post prepared, but the forum monster ate it. And then I went to Moosic (no, really: Moosic) and you went from Najd to Yemen...

Najd is in fact the sound made when sand gets inside your clothes and sticks to certain delicate places. An entire people and nation took their name from this because, frankly, they all have sand in unfortunate places and they all make little crunching 'najd najd najd' sounds when they walk.

But as to Yemen:
Once upon a time there was a fun little movie called 'The Last Remake of Beau Geste'. It was written and directed by and starred Marty Feldman (Igor from 'Young Frankenstein'). Other notables included Michael York, Ann-Margaret, Peter Ustinov, James Earl Jones (as 'The Sheikh', practicing up for later), Trevor Howard, Henry Gibson (from 'Laugh-In', here pantsless), Terry-Thomas, Roy Kinnear, Spike Milligan, Avery Schreiber (as the Camel Salesman), Ted Cassidy ('Lurch' from 'The Addams Family') and Ed McMahon (yes - Ed McMahon) as an Arab Horseman.

The plot revolves around identical twin brothers, played by Michael York (one of the handsomest men to ever grace the English stage) and Marty Feldman. I'll let that sink in for a moment. The running joke of the movie is that Feldman is always explaining that 'one of us is more identical than the other'.

So if Najd is a 'less identical' Marty Feldman, Yemen is certainly not Michael York. Ed McMahon, possibly. Better-looking than Najd, but... no prize, really. All this makes me acutely aware that the world of the 15th-18th centuries contained a lot more dogs than lions.
 

In any case, have fun with WoN! ;)

EDIT:
I had a very nice post prepared, but the forum monster ate it. And then I went to Moosic (no, really: Moosic) and you went from Najd to Yemen...

Wait, Moosic PA? That's really close to where I live!*Looks out the window in paranoia*
 
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Well, at least it's not Lan Xang... ? :)

And maybe you'll be able to crush Oman once and for all. Just what the doctor ordered, 'eh?
 
But you can have so much Funj with Yemen! Of course, you could also get crushed by the Ottos. Or Morocco. Or the Portuguese. But Funj! With a name like that, something good must be guaranteed, right? Right?

Well, at least that kick in the Najds was mercifully short.
 
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH
No seriously,
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

Some misery. Yay. :D
 
The curse continues! You should do your best to destroy Yemen while you're in power there.
 
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So evidently, Johan has an infallible sense of timing AND of irony.

Yemen should make for a more interesting update at least, though it's easy to have more to do than "look at the map". Just take your pills, don't get eaten by the Ottomans and make Eddie Izzard jokes and you should be fine. Are you going to consider westernizing?
 
That was mercifully short.
Lang Na or Lan Xang -it was a lang time ago in a galaxy far, far away.

Yeh man! Time to go O man and funjigate. And you can westernise.

Let me guess that both Morocco and the Ottos have warned Yemen against even looking sideways at any neighbour. Oh to be Morocco again and have a discussion with Mali.
 
Yemen a country ripe with opportunities.

Just play nice with the Ottomans and everything will work out just fine. I’m sure... Trust me… Yea right, now where did I put that bridge I wanted to sell you?
 
Well I guess at least Johann felt your pain and decided to send you somewhere else. Although Yemen looks like it could give a headache. But at least you will have options now.

I think I would have done the same with accepting the Otto's vassalization request. Nothing useful in staying independent anyway, even if it curbed a chance to go after Oman.

Hopefully Yemen will be a bit more entertaining though.
 
While short, it was a quite fun stay in Najd. And to be fair: You have secured Najd for a while. No evil Yemen eating it for breakfast.

Now for Yemen. Quite sadly that Najd decided to become a vassal of the Ottmans. It would have been a nice bite for breakfast.

Looking at this situation it is no wonder the Doc thinks that you're crazy.
 
Dr. Livingstone: Yeah. That was...what's the word?

Director: It's been a long time since I've been at a beach, but I think you're right. I remember that 'najd najd' sound!

Dr. Livingstone: WoN is interesting. Not sure how often some of the changes will come up, but it's interesting.

LatinKaiser: True! Oman doesn't have Bahrain, which means they're mine! You hear that Iraq? Wait, where did Iraq go??

Stuyvesant: I'm having far too much fun with country names lately. Funj? Yemen? Oman? Kilwa? What's not to like? I can even recline on my Ottoman!

Orlov Kruskayev: Yes, but misery for whom?

Homusubi: That's...

the_evil_one44: What he said.

Asdfezxcas: Oh no, time to lead Yemen to greatness! Turn it into the third caliphate. Or is it fourth? I've lost count.

Cyborg Mage: Yemen's eligible to westernize, so I'd at least like to get that started.

Chief Ragusa: If we get another chance with Morocco, Mali is definitely high on the list. A united West African empire with acceptable tech should really mess up colonization.

Storey: Is that bridge across Crimea River?

tnick0225: The ways of Johan are mysterious. Yes, Yemen has much more going on than Najd.

topimi: Sounds like funj!

McGrey: True, Najd won't be leaving the map at least until the Ottos can diploannex it now.

Darkath: Now THAT was... damn, what's the word?

Hiryuu: Unexpected. That's it.
 
CHAPTER XIX: YEMEN
Part 1: Like a Bad Neighbor
(1700-1705)


Wealth of Trouble

Welcome to Yemen! Also, welcome to 'Wealth of Nations.' I'm not sure how necessary all the changes are, but there are two in particular I welcome: Policies, which we'll talk about it in a minute, and evening out the troops available to different tech groups, so a Military-15 Chinese unit is roughly equivalent to a Military-15 Western unit. For all intents and purposes this is how it worked in EU 1 and 2 (all units were the same with tech modifying ability) and I think it gives the rest of the world a chance without nerfing Europe in the bargain.

Well, let's see what we have to work with:

170001YemenStart_zps8248fe2d.jpg


Up until this new patch, Yemen was more than wealthy enough to handle three advisors AND a seriously bloated military of 45 units (we can support 25). For reasons that'll become clear shortly I wonder if everyone's force limits were nerfed.

Our relations are not too surprising, though trying to improve relations with Russia is interesting - perhaps in the vain hope we can work together against the Ottos some day. We have an alliance with the Mughals, and CBs versus all our neighbors. We especially have issues with Morocco, with whom we're trading embargos.

Since rivalries now factor into power projection, they all reset as the game started, which means I can't change any of them until January 1725. Thanks guys.

We have two merchants, in Indus and Ceylon. Not bad, but I think we're better off having a merchant in Gulf of Aden, our home node.

Our military consists of 19 Afsharid Reformed Infantry - I think these are new, as I had to upgrade from Muslim Musketeers. They're supported by 14 Muslim Musketeer Cav and 12 Chambered Demi-Cannons. Our navy boasts an impressive 9 Galleons, 16 Early Frigates and 7 Flytes.

Our first mission will be to protect against Morocco, which has 46 army units to our 45. We're already overburdened, what's one more unit?

Oh, and we have some policies to think about.

170001Policies_zps44c65ed0.jpg


Policies unlock when you fill out the proper idea groups. As you see, we have one active one and a few more will open when we hit Navy-7.

Alright, so we're going into this with a plan. It goes something like this:

1) Hit Navy Ideas-7 to unlock those two new policies. We have 377 Diplomatic power of 400 needed.
2) We're losing money fast, so fire the advisors. Second, we're going to get our major campaigns done ASAP because eventually we'll have to cut our army back to a reasonable size. Our targets? Oman and Kilwa - the latter because no one's bothered them all game and owning all of eastern Africa sounds suitably megalomanic. If there's time later we'll deal with Funj.
3) Once that's settled, we are eligible to westernize. Do so. With our current ruler it'll take 13 years.


Oman oman oman

As the clock starts, we instantly complete our mission versus Morocco. This tells me they cut their own military, which in turn suggests everyone's land force limits took a hit. We take a new mission to build a fortification in Berbera, but that's probably not happening.

We do ask for and get military access through Portugal. We'll need it when we turn on Kilwa. We also get an event that improves relations with Najd by +30, not that it really matters.

In April, with our armies in position and having just taken our first loan of many to pay for this huge army, we begin:

170004War_zps7a9235d1.jpg


There isn't much glory in it, though it does take some thought. Our armies storm the Oman border. Naval battles between our trade fleets break out immediately as Persia tries to protect their Shiite brother. Fortunately the Mughals want in as well and help chase them from the Persian Gulf.

In Qatar we destroy the Omani army, then later in May finish off the last dregs. We siege all their provinces, then rush troops to Portuguese Somalia to begin the Kilwa campaign.

170005OmanWar_zps189550f1.jpg


June 1700 sees us achieve Navy-7 (Press Gangs, Ship Cost -20%). However, as I check the newly opened policies I realize that enacting them will cost me 1 Dip per month for at least 10 years. With two potentially costly wars on the horizon followed by westernization, that's a luxury I can't afford right now.

We do spend the late spring moving our fleet around to completely blockade Persia and Oman. Our ship commanders quickly refine their tactics.

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Other than the occasional spitting match as Persia wastes their fleet trying to break out, this is it. The Mughals storm across the Persian border and at once point have over 50K visiting their capital. Never once do I see a Persian unit, though considering the similarity of the Persian and Mughal symbols I do get a fair number of scares.

In February 1701 Beni Yas falls. We celebrate with a good old fashioned book burning (+25 piety) scheduled for June, and two more provinces fall as a result. Suhar is last to fall in October 1701 leading to a curious situation.

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Plan A is to annex them. We only have 103 diplomatic points, and as I want to free my fleet and armies to deal with Kilwa, I don't want to wait.

Plan B is to vassalize them - which would be acceptable, except...

Plan C is to strip Oman down to a OPM, THEN vassalize it, which is worth more prestige and less aggressive expansion penalty. Yeah, let's do that.


Kilwaing Me Softly

The Omani war was going so well (and our economy was derailing so badly due to an excess of troops), that I decided not to wait for one war to finish before the other started. Back in November 1700, with over 25K sitting on the Portuguese/Kilwa border, we declared war.

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Which instantly caused those troops to black flag. I had to retreat to my own territory then invade, which meant the campaign didn't actually beguin until January 1701. We did lose 2 stability (no CB), but threw Admin points at it until the people were happy again.

In February the Kilwa fleet appeared: 22 ships, including 3 heavies and 14 mediums. Far more than I'd prepared for, which is one of the reasons I was so anxious to get out of the Omani war and get my navy down there. Fortunately the Kilwa were content to patrol their own coastline.

The plan was simple enough: March straight down the African coast, and as armies were freed from Omani occupation move them south as well across the strait on the Red Sea. Detach sieges as we marched, and stop when there were about 10K left in the lead army in case the Kilwa army showed up.

I'm not quite sure how (perhaps that fleet), but 10K Kilwans managed to end-run our occupation advance and settled in Portuguese Majereen to block reinforcements from the Omani campaign. Our lead army, fresh from Beni Yas, met them in September and easily shoved them aside.

170011Kilwa_zpse2918bc0.jpg


When the Omani war ended in October 1701, the rest of our army began to move south. They were still on the Arab peninsula, however, when 15K Bedouin patriots in Suhar decided to try their luck. They returned and broke the rebellion with heavy losses in May 1702.

Meanwhile, the Kilwa war raged on. Their first province fell in February, and our army marched to the border of Mozambique, the Kilwan capital. There 18K soldiers waited to our 10, and there their 24 ship navy resupplied only to be instantly blockaded by our navy arriving from the Persian Gulf. There they sat, glaring at each other through much of the year.

1702 also saw the Portuguese come asking us to 'Buy American.' We only heard vague rumors of these 'Americans', but making the Portuguese happy while we subdued Kilwa seemed well worth it.

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Meanwhile, our merchants asked if any titles in occupied Kilwa might be for sale. We were still hemoragghing money (though what we took from Oman helped stave off loans for awhile), so of course they were.

During this time I occasionally looked to see if Kilwa would like to surrender: Nope, too soon. I did notice we'll never annex them (279% war score), but establishing a second protectorate was a very real possibility.

In November 1702 sufficient reinforcements caught up to risk the assault on Mozambique. We crushed their army in two successive battles, then dealt their fleet a bloody nose in the bargain.

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1703 was surprisingly quiet. Oh, Kilwan provinces fell, Omani provinces cored or learned the truth of Sunni Islam, and Portugal offered to import naval supplies (-1 Mercantilism, +40 Dip Power, +20 relations), but there were no horrible battles. Mozambique surrendered with barely a whimper in June, and by the the sultan died began the war was entering its final stages.

170311Regency_zps0deee802.jpg



Enforced Peace

Yes, al Abbas II died in October, leaving 10 year old Muhammad on the throne. This means regency, which means this will be our last war for a bit. Considering we're not at about 10 loans, this isn't a bad thing.

Kilwa offered to take care of our financial problems to the tune of 1250 ducats, and I looked very long and hard at that offer. That WOULD take care of our debt and a bit besides...

...but no. No, because it'll be awhile before we can try again, and far worse Portugal may have watched how easily we're dismantling Kilwa and establish their own protectorate. No. By all means we'll take what we can in the peace, but we can't stop now.

This news goes down about as well as you'd expect.

170403LargeRevolt_zpsa3606315.jpg


Fortunately the Nationalists appear ON our northern army and die within days, while the peasants surrender in June. In that same month men of science offer to help get us back on track to the tune of -25 piety. In November Kilwan loyalists in the capital rise up in revolt, but in a moment of confusion it looks like they're due to run into a fresh Kilwan army in January. (See map)

By December there are only two provinces left.

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After that, we drop the army down to a reasonable size, start dealing with our economy, westernize, and wait for our young sultan to grow up.

If Johan lets us.


Johan's Dice

Reign: 5 years
Needed: 2+
Roll: 2
Continue?: Yes

That was close...


In Other News

In other news around the league:

The Aztecs fell apart. A separatist Zapotec nation has appeared and cut them in two.

Brittany is fighting a war with and defeating the Shawnee.

Mali's FINALLY woken up and has attacked Kanem Bornu.

The HR Emperor died, but Palatinate won reelection.

Russia has made a small inroad into China. Korea's reappeared turning that peninsula into a mess.

Spain diploannexed (via PU) Lithuania.
 
Well that went well. Yemen's picked on what it can. If a tech 15 Chinese unit is equivalent to a western tech 15 unit, it does nerf Europe and makes tech groups pretty much irrelevant. The choices the human player has now seem to be exactly the same as the ai -nerfing the human player still further without providing the advantages of the ai. I though the idea of adm/dip/mil points was a pretty dumb idea to begin with and now that's a dumb idea made dumber still.