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Now I can't stop hearing this.
[video=youtube;C1NKbHLdcYc]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C1NKbHLdcYc[/video]
 
Reminds me a bit of an ancient Prufrock EU2 'AAR'. :) Anyway, while it took some brute force to wear down the assorted rebel miscreants, you are getting the upper hand, thanks to generous supplies of Iberian clones and Hungarian bounty hunters. It seems that all is, indeed, proceeding as foreseen.
 
That was too much fun, your majesty.

The death star died, therefore the Emperor is dead and Vader rules along with his son whom the silly rebels believe is leading them to victory but in reality lead their armies to destruction. I liked how you brought in the Yoda reference and I am pretty sure you've confused the Ewoks with Jar Jar Binks . It's an easy mistake to make as both need to have what they've said put through a translator droid.

A first rate episode. More comfortable helmets - Spaceballs! I hope your stormtroopers don't ape the originals who seem to have been graded on how spectacularly they could miss someone at point blank range.


I certainly wasn't expecting your take down of Austria to be so quick or even at all. What will you take in peace? I'm looking forward to the next instalment.
 
Over the last few days, I have read the entire thing. Great idea. Not easy to do on V2, but still fun. Would I have your permission to do a V2 AAR based on this concept? I would credit you entirely, of course.
 
Oh yeah, I meant to say. In that last chapter, I had no idea what you were going on about. I'm a Trekkie rather then a Star Wars fan, I presume that was what al the references were.
 
YES.

Ulm strong!
 
Great update! :D
 
Wow, it seemed really hairy for a bit there, you were taking more casualties even in your victories. Glad to see you managed to turn the tide with the help of the Spanish. Who'd have thought the Spanish would ever be the good guys in EU4. Maybe they were misled by your emperor title and megalomaniacal cackling.

By the way, could you give us a diplomatic map screenshot sometime? These HRE wars are always super confusing without them.
 
tnick0225: It does feel awkward, but in a way it's fun. Can I smack down the beast I just created? So far so good.

Yes, Spain's intervention was crucial, otherwise I'm pretty sure we'd have lost.

Richards840: The Rebels will pay for their lack of faith.

McGrey: That's a fun video. The Imperial March is my second favorite song from the movies after the Main Theme

Stuyvesant: Indeed. I'm sure the Hungarians are happy for some revenge.

ScribleScrable: Or near any Ewoks.

Chief Ragusa: I wasn't sure I could beat Austria either: Certainly without the massive coalition it would have been hopeless.

Spockyt: Absolutely! Let me know if you try so I can follow along. Since Vicky has more happening in a given time frame than EU, I might suggest 2-4 year turns instead of 5. I don't think Vicky has a randomize nation button, however. What you could do is go into the game files, pull up a list of tags, and roll dice against that to pick your nation.

Mortalkomic: Only if the Spanish join them!

Spockyt: Yep, Star Wars references. I LOVE Star Trek - or I used to. The last two movies, 'Voyager' and 'Enterprise' though... *shudder*

Hiryuu: Glad you enjoyed!

Svip: Ulm lucky that Spain's watching out for it. :)

Nikolai: Thanks!

Roflpotamus: Thanks. Yeah, taking on Austria was a bit of a challenge. But fun.

Blackfish: I'll try to remember the dip maps for next time. The last one in this chapter shows the remaining major Imperial players. Feel free to ask me who is where.
 
CHAPTER XVII: PALATINATE
Part 2: The Emperor's New Wars
(1680-1685)


The Rebel Pact

When last we left our antiheroes, we had just destroyed the main Austrian army and lay siege to their capital at Wien. The coalition (better known as NEATO) conquered most of the Austrian heartland leaving only parts of the north in their hands.

Our army consists of 5,200 in 19 regiments, with 16K Mainzers for company, is led by Hermann Ludwig Ansembourg (3/5/2/3), better known as 'Darth.'

I'd like to buy five regiments to bring us up to full land force limit, but we simply don't have the manpower. We do throw Admin points at our war exhaustion to bring it back down to 5 however. By now Spain and Netherlands are both sending token subsidies to back our war effort, which means we have more than enough to pay off the five loans taken earlier to prepare for this war.

In April Ulm sieges Ostmarch, while Lithuanians wind up in Steiermark to completely blanket the south. The Austrians managed to gather 6K from their northern territories in Hungary, but a joint Spanish/Hungarian army of 31K annihilates them in two successive battles.

Wien surrenders in July. I already know Spain's war leader, but hope to get some token peace for Palatinate: Alas, instead I'm reminded that coalition members can't peace out separately. We'll have to wait for Spain.

We march our army north to Berlin (Brandenburg) with the Mainzers in tow. It's a surprisingly fragile situation: Magdeburg (part of the Vienna Pact) has soldiers trying to recapture Mecklenberg, while the Austrians have 1K in Potsdam. Nonetheless they don't risk the throw, so Darth settles in to siege.

While we wait, the Netherlands agrees to ally. Along with them our allies now consist of Hungary, Poland, Bavaria, Milan and Savoy.

By December people want to know if this little adventure is ever going to end.

168012StillHope_zps57c42582.jpg


Well..of course we're going to win! They have no army and are almost out of land. What kind of talk is this?

In fact, let's take a look at the map.

168101AustriaLosing_zpsa20125ca.jpg


See? They'll peace out any day now. Do you know how much Imperial prestige we're going to get from all those freed vassals? This is going to be great! In fact, here comes the Spanish ambassador now! Is it done? Great. You're laughing. That's good right?

168101UlmGrows_zps3919c559.jpg


...

Well now.

...

Isn't that just...

...

...

Jerks.


We Can Be Jerks Too

It's January 1681, and Spain's just handed us a peace that nets us 0 Imperial prestige. It strengthens Ulm, which isn't a huge deal (though freeing Alsace would have been better), and at least gets Bohemia out from under Austria's thumb, but did it help pass any reforms? No. Did it help me win the election? No. It's currently Saxony 3, Palatinate 2, Savoy 2.

Worse, Spain's not quite done with us. In February we get CBs versus Ulm (Cleansing of Heresy) and Mainz (Trade Dispute). Do you know who's allied to both of them? Riiight.

Well, I'll tell you who they're not allied with. Burgundy!

168104VersusBurgundy_zpsf90b9806.jpg


Burgundy owns two Imperial provinces and they're not part of the Empire. That's not nice. They're also losing two wars: France wants Alencon, while Aachen is hoping they'll convert to the Protestant faith. Best of all, they're allied with squat.

After arranging MA through Lorraine, we declare war in April. Spies (the Ledger) tell us that Burgundy has a 5K army lurking somewhere, but with most of their country occupied I have no idea where it is. To play it safe I move Darth's 7K army (19 regiments remember) to Franche-Comte, while we hire 4K mercenary cavalry and 1K merc artillery to help. The mercs will cover Koln and wait for the day Aachen's war ends to take up the siege.

Except..it doesn't work like that. In July Burgundy surrenders, giving up Koln. The next day Aachen converts to Catholicism.

Uhm...wait. Who surrendered to whom?

I respond by moving our mercenaries into Franche-Comte: This turns out to be a smart move, as one month later Burgundy surrenders to France as well, giving up Alencon. Now we need the extra troops to cover Burgundy's territory before they can start building regiments. We DO crush two 1K stacks, and by September everything but Picardie is besieged. We can't get there, and nothing from Picardie can get to us, so whatever.

Last turn, once I knew we'd eventually beat Austria, my plan was to play the good little emperor. You know the drill: Protect member states. Liberate vassals and conquered territories. Try to boost our Imperial prestige. Days after covering Burgundy, Austria gives me a chance to do just that!

168109AustriaLOL_zpsfc575d33.jpg


Uhm...LOL.

While Austria gets its comeuppance (and hopefully releases states), we wait for Burgundy to see reason. Franche Comte falls in February 1682, which leads us to develop the principles behind Absolute Rulership (Admin-20).

In May we conquer Nevers, and the Burgundians lose hope.

168205WinWar_zps8b04bb9d.jpg



Just Being Mean

Time to rest for awhile and look for an opportunity. We tried improving relations with Mainz for awhile in an attempt to swing the Imperial election, but now they're afraid of us. It may not matter anyway, as the vote is now Palatinate 2/Saxony 2/Savoy 2/other 1. Lorraine's afraid as well and tries to forge a coalition. Meanwhile, a border dispute with Ulm results in our forging a claim on Ansbach. Unfortunately, Ulm is STILL allied with Spain, as well as Lorraine and Mitrehead.

Wait...Lorraine? Hm. Okay, how about this for a plan?

We DoW Lorraine: They're the last protestant 'heretics' in what we'd consider western Germany. Preferably we conquer them, as that gives us a land bridge to Franche-Comte (which I couldn't GIVE away - I tried!). I know, bad emperor. Meanwhile, when Ulm jumps in (sans Spain thank you) we take Ansbach. Lorraine's other allies don't signify: France has no land access, ditto with Utrecht, and since it looks like Savoy would help us in our war they should be able to deal with Armagnac.

Good idea? I thought so too.

168401versusLorraine_zps60cfed3f.jpg


Except...Ulm dishonors the alliance, as does Utrecht. When the dust clears it's PALATINATE, Bavaria, Savoy, Siena and Trier (87K, 39 ships) vs. LORRAINE, Armagnac and France (41K, 0 ships).

In January 1684 we sweep over the border. Lorraine wisely(?) sends their army south to Franche-Comte, so Vader pursues them.

168402WinWar_zpse6ecf57b.jpg


Then for added measure we crush 6K Frogs in Luxembourg. As expected, Savoy keeps Armagnac busy. I spend the summer and fall of 1684 moving troops back and forth between Lorraine's two provinces to take ownership of both sieges.

This does lead to accusations of our incompetent diplomats being inbred. We could either back them anyway (-10 Prestige) or dismiss them (-50 Dip Power). Since we're going to need that Dip power to impose terms, of course we back our inbred cousins. Who said the Habsburgs never had good ideas?

In December our detractors also explain that gold is the sign of the nobility. Uhm...no. If we had more nobles we'd be just as bad as the Austrians. We reply that Nobility cannot be bought. (Stability +1 to +2).

Speaking of Austria's "Vienna Pact", they do seem to be having trouble...

168412EndTurn_zpsdacc55cb.jpg


Good.


Johan's Dice

Reign: 10 years
Needed: 3+
Roll: 6
Continue? Yes
 
And Johan decides to continue the ball! :p Good, time to end the war in Rebel victory!
 
Makes sense: the only Star Wars that matters is the original Trilogy, so you should have at least three stabs at them. :)

Too bad Spain didn't give you more for your heroic efforts in the war against Austria, but you made some gains in your next (more solo-ish) effort. I look forward to the Return of the Jedi. :)
 
Looks like the Aluminum Falcon got bent up a little bit. And if Austria is getting their comeuppance served to them on fine silver aristocratic Hapsburg plate, well... who cares about the service, right? It's the dish that is best served cold - cold, dead, crow, and all that they can eat.

I refuse to call the only three Star Wars movies IV - VI. They are I, II and III; the other 'so-called' Star Wars productions are illegitimate pretenders of bastard birth and false nobility. Once the Ewoks cow-flop the screen at the end of 'Empire Strikes Back' it's all 'A Star Wars Holiday Special' from there on out. Buy your Jar Jar Binks action figures in the gift shop!

Since you have a third term and are unlikely to get a fourth, I recommend you hurry up and get done what needs doing before the never-to-be-sufficiently-cursed Ewoks show up.
 
I understood much more there. At least we have finally got rid of JJ Abrams. Voyager, when it was good, it was brilliant, but overall it might be worse. Enterprise.... series 1 and 2, average, 3, poor, 4, excellent.

Thanks for your advice on V2, less years make a lot of sense. Great suggestion about copying a list from the game files, much better then typing every country out and then randomising is....... Got some awful countries when doing a trial run. I'm gonna have to do another trial run, and see how it works, before I decide to definitely do a AAR.

Just remembered, and checked, it isn't a list. There is a list of files, of all countries, including formable, and releasable. And I'll still have to type it.
 
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